Parenthood, ...

[Dreamer]

Parenthood

Parenthood, a room to discuss parenting. Yowsa! I could stay here all day!

I could use some prayer and advice, particularly about my 14 year old daughter.....again. She is not in counseling any longer, because the state medicare mental health insurance was taken away from her quite suddenly. (It was a fluke in the system that gave it to her, anyway---Well, actually it was not a glitch, it was God

Here is the problem: She still lies. They are little lies, but irregardless, they are still lies. For instance, recently she began Sign Language class. She loves it, and is constantly practicing at home, "talking" to us in sign language, even teaching the ASL alphabet to her little brother. I kept asking her when the Sign Language group would be performing for the parents and she promised to tell me when the time came. Well, I had a suspicious feeling about the Fall Festival at the Middle School, she said she was performing there but it was just for the kids, not the parents.

I called the school, and they said, certainly they wanted the parents to come, did I not see the big ad in the paper about the whole community being invited? (I did read the paper, but evidently I don't read ads.)

Now what do I do about her keeping this information from me purposely?

I don't think it was an honest mistake on her part. I say this because she regularly leaves out information, tells white lies, etc., several times a week, unfortunately. Then when my husband (her step-dad) starts harping and yelling at her, I come in and smooth things out for her.

He is too harsh and hard on her. I am too soft on her. I pray that we find balance and raise her up to be a godly, truthful young woman.

I need to bring this thread forward, brothers and sisters. I do need insight and prayer on this matter. Thankyou in advance, and God bless!

 

[Dreamer]

Please, brothers and sisters, I'm bringing this post forward because I need insight and help. Thanks.

 

[beccasmom]

Dreamer I wish I could help in your situation...I have a 9 year old and do go through some white lies and such and I just remind her that lying is a sin and displeases God. I will be praying for your situation after all God is the great physican and can fix any problem or ailment. God Bless you dear friend.

 

[Sleepy]

I am no parent and this is only one perspective but when the children I teach don't tell me something or tell little white lies. I try to look for their reasons first. Why they feel the need to do so? What are they afraid of? I believe we lie because we feel the need to protect ourselves in some way. Facing things is harder. I would ask her what is she afraid of? If she shares ... celebrate her honesty. This is what I do at school and I find it works well. It's sometimes scary sharing the truth and children I think find it especially hard as they are directly answerable to adults (bigger and the powerful inflluence in their lives). We all make mistakes, lying is wrong but go to hit that sin and support the sinner.

You sound like you love her very much wanting the best for her. The counselling must have given her some support and I don't know the whole picture of course so apart from my rambling I shall do the best I can do which is pray for you and your family and ask for God's touch in this part of all your lives.

God Bless you and your blessings

 

[Dreamer]

:girl: :girl: :girl_hug: beccas mom and Sleepy....you do not know how thankful I am for your words and your prayers. Thankyou

 

[calluna]

I will pray for your daughter and for things in your home to be more peaceful.
My sons both use to perform in school concerts, plays etc. even in sports events and sometimes they wouldn't tell me. And I would find out afterwards that parents were invited. Well, I would be a little bit upset and put out. My oldest who use to run track, said that it made him nervous that I am there watching him. Now that's funny, he said he was afraid I might shout out something when cheering him on, that he would lose concentration. So I promised him that I would cheer him on, but not call out cute pet names that only we say at home. My youngest use to play violin, and he said that he wanted my husband and myself there for some things and then not for others. He said that he also gets distracted because he was looking out for us in the crowd, you know what I mean? So I believe that your daughter probably wants you to watch for somethings and then not for others. We have to just put them at ease and say that is so important for us to support them in there activities and we want to applaud and cheer them on with everybody else. And also we have to reassure them that we won't do anything that might draw attention to them or even make them feel embarrassed. You know how kids/teenagers are, its just a phase they go through. Even after the events, sometimes we as parents can go over to our child and hug them and say praising things to them. And I know my two boys just didn't want a big fuss made.

Hope this helps a bit. I know its long winded.
:shade: Calluna

 

[Dreamer]

You are not long-winded! You are beautiful

 

[mounty]

for about year we had glen niece staying with us. She is a wonderfull child but lies something terrible .About everything silly things it drove me mental. So i sat her down an explained that she had lost my trust ,and it has hurt me very much ,
So from then on everything she told me i checked up if she asked to go somewhere with friends i would speak to all the parents involved to confirm her story ,
If she asked from money for a dvd etc i would demand a receipt ,
After a while it was really getting to her , everything she did i checked up on
Somethings i told her she could not attend as i had no way of confirming her story that really got to her
Then she realised without my trust everything she did was limited also it embaressed her to have to tell her friends she could not do so and so ,
For every lie i took something from her ,it was a battle and there were times i felt i was losing but it paid off in the end
She realised she had to work to regain my trust in her and she did now she tells me the truth as she knows i wil not accept anything else and i will check her story if i have any doubt
Is is so hard and can start to really break your heart but it is for there own good just think is her boss going to accept lies ,and will her friends accept them,
Removing something she loves like her pocket money or her after school freedom will help her to remember everytime i lie i lose something
i hope this helps i will pray also