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Partiality

Discussion in 'Counseling' started by Lynette Khristi, Mar 16, 2017.

  1. I've been convicted so many times of my attitude. I do think bad of others even though they do nothing to deserve such, I'm being rash and judgmental. Because of these bad thoughts on people I don't interact with them well, that is, somehow being rude to them. I really hate it. I must be loving but I am like this.

    And when I am with those people I love company I would suddenly light up. I realized it when I'm getting pissed off at a person and being so rude, then an acquaintance came about, my smile's suddenly already reaching my ears.

    Any words of wisdom? I must not be partial as the epistle of James say, but I can't seem to get it out of my system, yet I really really wanted it out.
     
  2. I'd say, pray about it, this exact thing happens to me when I'm not walking with Yah as I should and instead, I go and do my own thing. The Father is able to reshape our character through the wilderness so we could have a more intimate relationship with Him and to be able to obey Him as we should. And, avoid wickedness. "Do not be deceived: Bad company corrupts good character." (1 Corinthians 15:33).
     
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  3. Verses 1-11 speak of our continual agony with those that cause discord.

    "But I determined this with myself, that I would not come again to you in heaviness. For if I make you sorry, who is he then that maketh me glad, but the same which is made sorry by me?" (2 Corinthians 2:1-2)
    "But if any have caused grief, he hath not grieved me, but in part: that I may not overcharge you all." (2 Corinthians 2:5)

    But Paul also said this:

    "And herein do I exercise myself, to have always a conscience void of offence toward God, and toward men." (Acts 24:16)

    Just to add:

    "While it is said, To day if ye will hear his voice, harden not your hearts, as in the provocation." (Hebrews 3:15)
     
    Lynette Khristi likes this.
  4. All relationships depend on forgiveness as being one of the most important things to take care of....forgiving ourselves. How much 'crap' do you have in your past that you have never forgiven yourself for? Me? Yeah there is still a lot to deal with...We all have stuff that we have not dealt with...It will carry over to our interactions with other people....It will color every aspect of our lives for the negative... In a very real sense...You are the lens through which you will view the world
     
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  5. Thanks for the advices, my co-heirs in Christ.

    It's really hard on my part being torn by these sins, really, a part of me's happy making mischief, a part of me's grieving, sometimes I'll just realize just how rude I've been and how wrong my thoughts are when God reveals it to me. I think that yes, @Marek I really need to pray about it, and that as you said, @HisFollower I just realized I'm losing and spending my time with bad company, and to add, BAD MEDIA, I've been slowly indoctrinated by these worldly things and I held my guards down. I must be in company with God a lot and be soaked in His Word so these things will be rebuked.

    @Bendito yes I really think so, that I need to forgive myself and do better, I think this guilt and sin crept up on me and accumulated because I don't discuss this with God, we barely have time together, that's why I keep doing this again and again, and that must be the one I must put an action.

    Pray for me and my relationship with Christ, may all of you, too, grow in Him. Thank you for the support, guys, this forum ministry where we grow together is really helping and strengthening.

    P.S. haha sorry if I decided to reply to all of you one-shot. :rofl:
     
  6. It's difficult to offer too much with the scanty information. First of all, what you describe is just part of being human. You find some people really enjoyable to be with and others just annoying. That's ok. For example, some people get a lot out of talking through the minute details of things: that kind of talk makes me jump with frustration.

    I once was very serious about starting to date a wonderful girl - a very good friend. And then I started to notice that the end of her nose moved as she spoke. On one level it's completely inconsequential; on another, I'm human and these things matter.

    I wonder if these two questions might help you.
    • God loves this person that I find unattractive and annoying: what does God see in them that I don't?
    • God loves me: what is God seeing in me that I don't
    Hope this is helpful.
     
    Lynette Khristi likes this.
  7. But I know that I'm accountable for all the things I do, I am so guilty when I respond with irritation getting the best of me, I mean, it's not wrong to feel annoyed with people, but with me I'm just irritated at them for even a simple thing as just glancing at my side, and even if they're really annoying to be with I wanna respond rightly, it's just not right for me to be rude to them.

    Amen. God sees in all of us and loves us despite all the dirt He witnesses.
    I'll put them on my note. Thanks. o(〃^▽^〃)o
     
  8. Yes. I agree with all that. What I'm suggesting is a change of focus.

    If you keep your focus on being annoyed and irritated with yourself for finding other people irritatating and annoying, what emotions get amplified? - you'll just keep beating yourself up and being guilty for not being open and loving like you want to be.

    If you celebrate the good and godly and lovely in people who you normally find difficult to be with, you'll find your thoughts filled with better things.

    I know what I've written reads a bit like fridge magnet philosophy, so from Philippians

    Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
    Would it be possible to find the best and most commendable thing about a person you find really difficult to get on with and to encourage them by telling them about it? It might be their personal integrity, or ability to care for others, or the way they deal with problems, or generosity with time...

    It's got to be a better way of using your energy than trying to swim your way out of a swamp of guilt
     
  9. Now that I think about it, I do get your point. I'm wallowing too much in my defeat. Jesus saved us so we can no longer live in guilt yet here I am, living a defeated mindset. Yes I am accountable for the things I did, thoughts I thought, that doesn't change, but I AM ALREADY FORGIVEN. Thank you for being an instrument to open my eyes with what the enemy's doing to me. I'm really frustrated about it but then why would I be, God forgives me and cleanses me for whatever I've done, no matter what is it so I can start anew. My guilt made me miss that point of my salvation.

    @Hekuran hahaha. I finally get you, FINALLY! Thanks thanks thanks thanks. God bless you. :creepy: (I'm kind of in love with putting emojis at the end)
     
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  10. This might be a revelation to many people, but usually, when we feel guilty about something it is because we really are!!! The Apostles of the Lord always lived their lives with a clear conscience. It is a built in alarm system that tells us when we do wrong. A lot of people believe our conscience is the "voice" of our spirit.

    2Tim 1:3 I thank God whom I serve, as did my ancestors, with a clear conscience, as I remember you constantly in my prayers night and day.

    As Jesus once said, "what ever you do to the least of my brothers, you do also unto me". As a member of the body of Christ which is one body made up of many members we need to see others as ourselves since we are part of the same body. What ever we think of others is a reflection of ourselves.

    Jesus said, "love your neighbor as your self" but this is not possible until we do the first commandment.

    Mar 12:29 And Jesus answered him, The first of all the commandments is, Hear, O Israel; The Lord our God is one Lord:
    Mar 12:30 And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.
    Mar 12:31 And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.

    Not until we love the Lord God with all that we are will we be able to love our neighbor as our self, because love comes from God, and is reflected out to others as we love him first.
     
  11. I appreciate your honesty..and in all honesty I believe it's a common weakness.. We all need to learn to walk in LOVE and not in the flesh..(the intellect)
    When you get pissed off, remember, Better pissed off, than pissed on.. Pray about it, ask the Holy Spirit to help you with it...Find the humor in the situation. Then go on walking in Love
     
  12. I think some good advice I heard in a sermon on Sunday is to REJOICE always.

    Another is to walk with Godly people. Dont hang around people that constantly annoy you..(well, except for your family..you have no choice but be glad you dont have to live in one of them 'tiny homes' where your kitchen is also your toilet!!)

    And then the last bit of advice is...tell your troubles to God. Whats His advice?
    Its LOVE is not easily provoked. Check your heart is it full of love, ask for a top up from God. if you abide in Him you do have His peace.

    It is human to be irritated and annoyed about things but look we have the holy spirit who comforts us and helps us do we not? I find the more time we spend with Him the less things irritate us.

    I mean today I was really annoyed that a friend sent me some junk mail about a movie I didnt want to see and I had ALREADY told her I didnt want to see it, like she didnt even listen to me! Well the holy spirit comforts me and says well that friend is a bit deaf. Its nothing really to do with me. I noticed its a pattern with her to give me stuff that is quite useless, like on my birthday she gave me a shower cap. ?!

    I asked her why she gave me a shower cap as Ive never used one before, and she says when I go on holiday, but I'm not even planning on going on holiday. And i dont have long hair or need to put my hair into a shower cap.

    Yea those things annoyed me because it made no sense.

    Otherwise she can be good company but sometimes I do think she is a bit thick. Sorry Lord. Unless I am the one who is missing the point. Maybe its like the cat who gives you a dead mouse. I dont get angry at her though I just think why does she do these odd things, if she wants to see a movie why not just ask me instead of sending me junk mail with no note. I just put it in the bin. Sad to say a lot of gifts shes given had ended up in the bin or op shop, but i do suspect she got them from there in the first place, including clothes that dont even fit me. One time she gave me black boots when I thought I told her I dont wear black!

    Yea i think shes deaf or cant hear me say NO!!!
     
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  13. I gave the black boots to my aunty who was happy to have them and the shower cap to another friend who said she would use it (but i suspect not) I told her I had no use for it and couldnt accept it.

    I mean I would have been happy with a card or a phone call, she doesnt have to give me any stuff.

    Yea still scratching my head about the shower cap gift. Lol
    Unless on her birthday I just give her something she will not ever use. Hmm. oh well at least I know when we ask God for something he doesnt give us a snake instead of an egg.
     
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