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Please don't ban me

lonelee

Member
Joined
Apr 10, 2010
Messages
15
After reading my brief intro, I hope I will not get banned. If I do, I will respect the decision made. Throughout my whole time here (however long that may be) I want to be respectful of your beliefs. I consider myself a guest in your 'home'. Below is a VERY brief testimony:

I was born into a home where Christianity was introduced to me at a relatively young age. I was 8 years old when I accepted Christ as my saviour. As a pre-teen, at about the age of 12, I rededicated my life to the Lord. I guess I would consider this the point in which I was a born-again Christian. For the next two decades, I lived passionately for Jesus. However, in my early 30's, I began having serious doubts which I could no longer push away or ignore. I started critically examining my faith. Slowly, I went from Christian fundamentalist to liberal Christian. Things began falling apart even more. I began doing objective research. The more I learned, the more my eyes were opened to a new truth (or what I call a new truth).

Then finally, in 2008, while I was still struggling to hold on to my faith, I had a holy spirit experience which led to more confusion. It ended up being a dud experience. I had prayed that my two cats would return to my home. My wife and I had given them away for certain reasons we wish we hadn't. After praying, I felt a still soft voice reassure me that my prayer was taken care of. It was such a warm feeling, and I felt a renewal of faith! Within a few days, I learned that one of the cats had ran off and hadn't returned in a week. She was not an outdoor cat and was declawed. We feared the worst. I quickly began evaluating the still soft voice I had experienced. Last Easter, I officially left the faith. I now consider myself atheist. I made the announcement to friends and family last summer.

Today, I still continue to research both sides of the debate. I want to be true to honest and objective research, as well as to myself. Lately, I have been trying to find reasons to return to Christianity, but it's just so difficult, considering all I've leaned in this last year. I've probably done more than 100 hours of research. If anyone wants me to cite my resources, I can do it in a PM, as I feel it would be detrimental to some people if I made it public.

I see so much good in Christians in general, but don't see any reason to follow the doctrines of Christianity. I suppose I'm here for help, but also as an extension to my research. I am not the kind of person to simply ignore any particular message. I want to be wise.

If I have overstepped in joining this site, I am sorry. If I have violated terms of use, I will accept the consequence. However, I am making an appeal for help. Thank you for taking the time to read this! Take care!
 
Hi there lonelee,

My walk with the Lord in the past has always been very up and very down. In the last 3 years i have had the most stable consistant walk with our Lord ever. I am 41 and gave my heart or rather responded to a calling when i was 14 years old, alone in my bedroom.

So there are two things i have learnt along the way that are not negotiable. number one...God is Sovereign, there is NO darkness in HIM whatsoever...therefore God deserves praise and glory...ALWAYS. No matter WHAT happens in our lives or what DOESNT happen. God remains God, He will remain on His Throne for ALL eternity, He always has been, is, and always will be Perfectly Righteous no matter what and i mean no matter what.

One day when we stand before God, absolutely ANY questions we have will be answered so spot on and only Then will we see many answers we dont have in the here and now in our lives. And we will be in perfect agreement with the answers God gives to us then. which lead me to the second thing....

FAITH...there
 
Oops sorry, i hit some key that posted my reply while i was still busy....heehee...

Anway we started off in Faith, should continue in Faith and end off in Faith. Many a time i cannot figure things out, for example i ask the Lord many a time...how can some scriptures actually apply to christians who are being so severly persecuted as i type, right now in certain places in this world....scriptures like...we are the head and not the tail, we can have whatsoever we desire when we pray IF only we BELIEVE....God will not allow our children to beg for bread....no weapon formed (its actually forged) will prosper, if we have faith as small as a mustard seed and tell this mountain, go throw yourself in the sea, it will happen.

I mean there are so many scriptures that these christians, who are jailed, beaten, their children thrown into orphanages, just because the parents got caught with a Bible or refuse to renounce their Faith in Christ, their parents if still living, get imprisoned too. The persecutions happening RIGHT NOW around the world, North Korea being the number one country in savage hostility toward anything to do with christianity, Most Muslim/Islam countries are openly hostile attacking, raping, beating, murdering, butchering christians, for the simple fact they serve Christ, they have Faith in Jesus Christ.

So my question to the Lord is....WHY Father, why dont these christians see the results of their steadfast faith in Your Word now in their lives. Why do they spend 9 years in prison doing hard labor, where is your promises of protection, especially from Psalm 91 for your children?

Lonelee there are a million things our minds will not be able to figure out in this one lifetime we are given. But make no mistake when we stand before God Almighty and ask...why Lord why...the answer that He will give us then, will make PERFECT SENSE and we will be in perfect agreement with him. For God is JUST, God is TRUE, He is eternally RIGHTEOUSS, no darkness in Him WHATSOEVER.

So when i struggle to grasp and fathom things, i LEAN on my Faith, not in Faith itself, but in FAITH IN GOD. That He IS Righteous and Holy and True and Perfectly Just. That He is Sovereign and a God of Awesome Love.

Why in the world should our walk with God be changed down the line to the way we began it...in Faith, by Faith.

May God bless you with His Wisdom from above in the mighty name, above all names..Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Best regards
beam
 
Welcome lonelee,



. . ..do you see a reason to follow Jesus?
I see a reason to follow the moral teachings attributed to Jesus, yes. But I don't see a reason to believe by blind faith the miracle stories which serve to validate the moral teachings. Neither do I believe in the theology of Jesus' teachings. Does that kind of answer the question?
 
If I have overstepped in joining this site, I am sorry. If I have violated terms of use, I will accept the consequence. However, I am making an appeal for help. Thank you for taking the time to read this! Take care!

lonelee, I welcome you. You're not violating any rules by questioning in a respectful way. Here's a link you might find valuable:

Ask Questions about College, Life, and God

Spirit Led Ed (SLE)
 
lonelee welcome to the forum.

I wonder if your research has led you to over-intellectualize the Christian faith. It is a faith that can be understood by little children and which can be lived without delving and researching it's aspects - not that I'm belittling the study you or others have done.

You don't find any reason to follow the doctrines of Christianity (your first post) but maybe you can find a reason to follow God Almighty. Doctrines sound like a set of rules or a man-made culture. Follow God, have an intimate relationship with Him, and everything else will fall into place.
 
Hello my friend. If you seek Him you will find Him.
If you find Him you will love Him and be drawn to Him.
As you are drawn to Him you will be changed.

When we begin to walk in the presence of God our eyes begin to be opened and what was once comfortable and natural to us can now be seen for what it really was- bondage of darkness. We were created specifically to fellowship and walk with God, anything that impedes that is only a snare. When we discover the great joy of His indwelling presence and power all the things that used to seem so great simply pale in comparison.
We do not follow God through external rules but through loves own relationship and as His children.
We are not changed by following external rules (religion) but we are transformed from the inside out as the very Living God works in our hearts.
 
I see a reason to follow the moral teachings attributed to Jesus, yes. But I don't see a reason to believe by blind faith the miracle stories which serve to validate the moral teachings. Neither do I believe in the theology of Jesus' teachings. Does that kind of answer the question?

Good morning lonelee,

it doesnt clear it up for me totally,

but thats beside the point :wink:

You see a reason to follow the moral teaching attributed TO Jesus. . .
can you sample that for me?

But you dont see a reason to believe by blind faith . . .
so why would you follow the moral teaching?

If I believe, you could be helped searching for answers,
by us answering and corresponding with you,
then Im gonna do it by faith, that it will help you. . .
*do onto others as you want them do to you*

Does this make sense in little ways?

Like gran-jude said:

It is a faith that can be understood by little children
and which can be lived without delving
and researching it's aspects . . .

Its a heartmatter . . .not a mindprocess. . .

What does your heart tell you :love: ?
 
Very good questions, peeps! I'll try and clarify my position. My position, being my own opinion, which is subjective (obviously).

We have no teachings directly from Jesus (or Joshua) himself. Even though he is said to have been a literal human being (which I do believe, by the way) we have no writings from him. So, when I say "attributed to" him, that's what I mean. The writings were written down by others who witnessed him saying or doing things.

Okay, so why would I follow these teachings, such as love your neighbor and do unto others, yada yada yada. Well, because they're important! They improve the quality of our lives. Instead of living, as they did in the OT, killing their enemies, and having no room for tolerance, Jesus was asking us to have tolerance and to forgive and so on and so forth. It's an extremely good message!

As far as literally walking on water, healing the blind or deaf, and rising from the dead, I can't have blind faith in this. I just can't. Well I could, but then I would believe in it the same way I believe in Santa Claus. You know? I hope that does clear things up a little bit....

As far as trying to answer my questions in hopes that it will help...please devote only as much time as you feel you can. I have told all my friends and family that I never want to be a stumbling block in their faith. I may not believe at the moment, but I don't want that to negatively affect anyone else. And as far as what my heart tells me? My heart tells me to be a good person, but to fear nothing. No hell or eternal death, no system of failure, and no devil or god. I don't know why it tells me that, because I want to believe in a god....any god. I was raised a Christian, so the Christian God, Yahweh, would seem the best fit. I suppose if I was raised Muslim, then the Islamic God, Allah, would be the most appropriate. But I can't even seem to muster up enough faith to believe in the simplest of gods, even where there is no threat of hell fire. On some levels, I suppose I might look like a deist, because I do want to believe in a God who created the vastness of the universe. But for everything else, chance works fine. Sorry, it's getting too long!

Off topic...Boanerges, your username sounds familiar. I think we used to converse on another forum some years ago. Perhaps the Christian Forum Site? Or maybe Christianity.com?
 
welcome

lonelee; we would love fo chat about your questions and ideas.
Please join us in chat cafe and see where it takes us
 
Sorry to sound critical but your view of God and faith reflects the stumbling block of Western Christianity. We are consumers, and we expect God to fit into our life, to do what we want and give us what we want, like a cross between Santa Claus and a genie in a lamp.

Sorry to break this to you but God is the eternal, the creator of heaven and earth, he is bigger than space and time and there are no limits to his power except those he imposes on himself to reach out to and relate with his fragile, flawed, creation.

He - along with the rest of the universe - does not revolve around you. Whether you believe in Him or not will not change Him. It will only change you. It sounds like there is a fair amount of childish "God didn't do what I want so I'm not talking to him any more" going on.

But the good news is He will always be there waiting for you to return, because he loves you to bits, like the father waiting at the window for his son to come back in the parable and then running down the road to meet him. He can wait forever. Come back to him and receive his love and forgiveness today :).

You talk about being afraid; in the shelter of his wings there is no need to be afraid of anything, his love casts out fear. Doesn't mean this life will be easy but it does mean that if we walk close to Him everything that happens will be helping us, and our brothers and sisters around us, grow more like the real you and the real me that he made us to be. That's got to be good news.
 
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As far as literally walking on water, healing the blind or deaf, and rising from the dead, I can't have blind faith in this. I just can't. Well I could, but then I would believe in it the same way I believe in Santa Claus. You know? I hope that does clear things up a little bit....

Yes I was on CFS before . What I tell you now is not much different than I shared there:

Jesus own enemies are His witnesses. They had every reason to discredit Him (as they wanted to keep control over the people) but could not deny the miracles witnessed by so many thousands of people. Instead they were forced to blame it on "sorcery" and saying "it was of the devil". Their inability to disavow the healing, the raising of the dead, etc, lay in the fact that He did these things openly in the multitudes that gathered to Him.


With your mind you might see an apple, study an apple, observe it's color and it's shape but until you taste that apple you will never know it's sweetness.
 
Okay, so I tried to get on the chat here, and I can't. I'm using a public computer and I think it must be blocking the chatt application from loading. Also, don't ask why I just spelled chat with two T's. Basically, I think I might say things that would get offensive anyway, so maybe it's a "blessing in disguise". When I say offensive, I mean challenging in a way that might weaken. My wife often asks me to refrain from talking about my atheism because she's afraid it'll weaken her faith or harm her in some way. I might sound condescending, but I'm not trying to. My mom said it good...nothing could take her faith away! Some people have a strong faith, and nothing can make them waiver, while other need the proof. I needed the proof. Maybe Yahweh will have enough understanding at the end of time and let me into paradise. But let's hope Allah will have the same understanding towards Christians, just in case the Muslims are right.

Anyway, I'm not going to post anything here anymore unless something changes. I have an immense amount of respect for all people, regardless of religion, race, or slurpie preference! Oh, yes...I'm also quite humorous (in my own way....that might account for why I laugh at my own jokes!).

Since my first post, I feel about the same, or even more on the atheist side than before. And if that's not a sign, well......

Take care, all my new friends, and if anyone wants to send me a PM, we may become friends and I just may become the friendliest atheist you know! Take care all! I came in peace, and I don't want to leave in pieces! LOL!!!
 
Welcome, lonelee. And I mean that, you are welcome.

Doctrines leave one dry and lonely. It's God's love that saves us. It's Christ's sacrificial love...His blood shed on the cross when He had the power to strike lightning on everyone parading Him on a cross and taking His life from Him. Yet He spread out His arms and died, feeling even separate from His Father, He died for me and you, yes you!

It's Jesus! I pray you get to know the real Him.
 
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The writings were written down by others who witnessed him saying or doing things.

In the first century, writing was not an easy thing to do. The great majority of people could'nt write and writing supplies were not easily manufactured and transported. Also, Jesus knew how to write, but, over the three years of His public ministry, He covered all of Judea and Galilee on foot - which was quite time consuming. After the resurrection, He stayed on earth for only forty days before returning to heaven. In short, there was no opportunity for Him to personally put His teachings into writing. The writing of the gospels was done - under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit - some years after Jesus had returned to heaven, after the time of the Book Of Acts.

SLE
 
In the first century, writing was not an easy thing to do. The great majority of people could'nt write and writing supplies were not easily manufactured and transported. Also, Jesus knew how to write, but, over the three years of His public ministry, He covered all of Judea and Galilee on foot - which was quite time consuming. After the resurrection, He stayed on earth for only forty days before returning to heaven. In short, there was no opportunity for Him to personally put His teachings into writing. The writing of the gospels was done - under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit - some years after Jesus had returned to heaven, after the time of the Book Of Acts.

SLE
Its true, teachings were generally communicated orally and because of this there was a real desire to make sure that they were correctly memorised and communicated. Hence the Jewish practice of learning by heart the Torah as early as 10 years old.

So the accounts of Jesus' life we have now, even though not written down at the time, would be as accurate as possible, given the importance.
 
I'll quote from Lonlee's post.

"Very good questions, peeps! I'll try and clarify my position. My position, being my own opinion, which is subjective (obviously). We have no teachings directly from Jesus (or Joshua) himself. Even though he is said to have been a literal human being (which I do believe, by the way) we have no writings from him. So, when I say "attributed to" him, that's what I mean. The writings were written down by others who witnessed him saying or doing things."

How don't we have any writings from Jesus? Of course we do it's called the Bible! in John 1:1 it says "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." "The Word" mentioned here is Jesus. The Bible is a written representation of Jesus. When satan tempted Jesus during His 40 day fast in the wilderness, Jesus quoted scripture. The Bible also says "All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness" in 2 Timothy 3:16. Jesus is God, is He not? He is God's Son, because in John 1:1, it says "and the Word was God". In John 10:30, it says "I and my Father are one" in Jesus' words. Don't take my word for it, look it up and see it yourself please. Praying that Jesus reveals Himself to you. He still loves you so much and is right there next to you.
 
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Hello Lonelee,
It seems your experience parallels that of Billy Grahams friend in his movie autobiography. In the movie they devote 7 minutes to his friend, who was with Billy in the beginning, who no longer believed and in fact challenge Billy to "Face the Facts".
Also in the movie Billy came to a point in his life where he had to decide whether to walk by faith or by sight. We all know what Billy chose.
Maybe Lonelee you to can walk by faith and not by facts of research? You be amazed on what God can show you if you ask him.
Go ahead and make his day ask him to speak to your heart. Remember he is God and he and only he can show you.
 
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