Please help me...

[ImmanuelWithUs]

I'm a grown woman in my 30's. I take care of my elderly parents and have ever since they both got very ill about 10 years ago. I've recently found out that my mom (who's 65 years old) is cheating on my dad with an alcoholic man she's known for over 30 years.

My dad does not know this. He's very ill and can just barely get out of bed (heart problems). My mom stays out all hours of the night and sometimes doesn't come home at all, but because dad doesn't get out of bed most of the time, he does not know this.

I'm at a total loss as to what to do. I know the Lord says over and over in His word that we are to forgive and I do daily but my mom does not believe she's doing anything wrong because they've had a very loveless marriage (of almost 40 years). Please help me! Should I tell my dad? Should I stay out of their business? Should I continue to forgive her even though she's not changing her behavior?

The scripture that keeps coming into my head is "His kindness will lead you to repentance." But I've been kind to her through all this for a month now and she's still not stopped (and with no end in sight).

Any help, words of wisdom, prayer, and scripture would help me immensely. My heart is broken in ways I cannot describe over this. It's like my mom is a totally different person now. I've begged and pleaded with her to go to Jesus instead of this man but to no avail. I've told her how wrong this is and the fact that their marriage isin't a good one doesn't mean adultery is acceptable. Nothing gets through to her. Please help me...

 

[ciaran]

I feel so sorry for you, clearly you are a woman of high spiritual value and you love your mother dearly.
I will pray for you and your mummy, that she finds the light and you find solice, God bless.

 

[ImmanuelWithUs]

Thank you so much, friend. I really appreciate your prayers dearly.

 

[Ramy]

I really don't know what you should do ?
But whatever your reaction will be, I think you must take into consediration that hard news might hurt your father because of his bad health condition.
May his holy spirit guides you to make peace and stability in your family.

 

[RJ]

You have a difficult problem but you are not left without
options.
If you haven't forgiven your mother, then do that. God has ceratinly already done that but that doesn't mean your mother has yet to recieve the benefits of her forgiveness, if she has not been born again and walking in the light of Christ, then she is reaping a life of living in error and a bondage to the untruth, that what she is doing is not hurting anyone, especially Her Lord and Savior.
If you are living under the same roof, do you have the option of having her move out? If you are all living together conscentualy, then then this problem is your problem and you have the right to confront your mother about it.
Your forgiveness of her behavior does not meen you have to live with it. Do you have a church, would she consider counsling? Can you get more famliy members involved?
Not knowing the exact situation, it is hard to say but, if you can make other plans for your Dads care, tell your mother that you are going to move out if she insists on not getting help.

God expects you to forgive her but He does not expect you to have to live with this issue, especially if your mother refuses to do anything about it. If she belives in God, she certainly isn't walking in the light of Jesus Christ. You have every right to explain the gospel to your mother. THough she may believe in God, she lives in error and untuth. Tell her this infidelity issue is sin against God first and foremost,is she jeopardizing her own salavation. Confont her and ask her when she was saved, when was she "born again"... the time she personally recieved Jesus Christ as her Savior. She can't truly have done this and still openly live in the error of this transgression against Christ.
God Bless and Prayers For You

 

[ImmanuelWithUs]

I really don't know what you should do ?
But whatever your reaction will be, I think you must take into consediration that hard news might hurt your father because of his bad health condition.
May his holy spirit guides you to make peace and stability in your family.

Thank you so much for your kind words. His Holy Spirit is my only true friend.

You have a difficult problem but you are not left without
options.
If you haven't forgiven your mother, then do that. God has ceratinly already done that but that doesn't mean your mother has yet to recieve the benefits of her forgiveness, if she has not been born again and walking in the light of Christ, then she is reaping a life of living in error and a bondage to the untruth, that what she is doing is not hurting anyone, especially Her Lord and Savior.
If you are living under the same roof, do you have the option of having her move out? If you are all living together conscentualy, then then this problem is your problem and you have the right to confront your mother about it.
Your forgiveness of her behavior does not meen you have to live with it. Do you have a church, would she consider counsling? Can you get more famliy members involved?
Not knowing the exact situation, it is hard to say but, if you can make other plans for your Dads care, tell your mother that you are going to move out if she insists on not getting help.

God expects you to forgive her but He does not expect you to have to live with this issue, especially if your mother refuses to do anything about it. If she belives in God, she certainly isn't walking in the light of Jesus Christ. You have every right to explain the gospel to your mother. THough she may believe in God, she lives in error and untuth. Tell her this infidelity issue is sin against God first and foremost,is she jeopardizing her own salavation. Confont her and ask her when she was saved, when was she "born again"... the time she personally recieved Jesus Christ as her Savior. She can't truly have done this and still openly live in the error of this transgression against Christ.
God Bless and Prayers For You

A big thank you so much for your entire reply and esp. THANKS for the bolded underlined part. You helped me a great deal and I appreciate your words.

Unfortunately, my mom will not go to church with me and, even though I've told her the gospel of Jesus Christ many times, to me she seems completely lost. I will definitely take your advice about getting counseling at church (for myself).

Again, I cannot thank you enough for your words.

 

[RJ]

Thank you so much for your kind words. His Holy Spirit is my only true friend.



A big thank you so much for your entire reply and esp. THANKS for the bolded underlined part. You helped me a great deal and I appreciate your words.

Unfortunately, my mom will not go to church with me and, even though I've told her the gospel of Jesus Christ many times, to me she seems completely lost. I will definitely take your advice about getting counseling at church (for myself).

Again, I cannot thank you enough for your words.

One more quick replay.
As a Christisn, as a reciever of Christ's life, your pardon is assured!
You can not do anything about your mothers salvation but witness to her, as you have done, the rest is up to God and; when He knocks on her door, it is up to her to open that door! That is God's fundamental truth about choice. You should never some how blame yourself or heep her burden upoun your shoulders.
I am will continue to pray for your peace in this matter.
God's Blessings

 

[ImmanuelWithUs]

One more quick replay.
As a Christisn, as a reciever of Christ's life, your pardon is assured!
You can not do anything about your mothers salvation but witness to her, as you have done, the rest is up to God and; when He knocks on her door, it is up to her to open that door! That is God's fundamental truth about choice. You should never some how blame yourself or heep her burden upoun your shoulders.
I am will continue to pray for your peace in this matter.
God's Blessings

GOD BLESS YOU for your prayers and words of wisdom! I greatly respect everything you said and appreciate it so much. I'm taking every word into consideration. Thank you.

 

[stephen]

I have not read the replys to your O.P. sister.........but my heart was saddened as I read your original thread.....

Off the heart...and sincerely...tho you have to be the judge

Considering the age of your dear parents....I would let things ride. I surely would not inform your father. Let him be at peace.

Your dear mother........as Christians we would condemn...and rightly.
I would question her absence...on nights. But with dad in mind....I would councel about the sweethearts of former years

Praying.........In His Love

 

[ImmanuelWithUs]

I have not read the replys to your O.P. sister.........but my heart was saddened as I read your original thread.....

Off the heart...and sincerely...tho you have to be the judge

Considering the age of your dear parents....I would let things ride. I surely would not inform your father. Let him be at peace.

Your dear mother........as Christians we would condemn...and rightly.
I would question her absence...on nights. But with dad in mind....I would councel about the sweethearts of former years

Praying.........In His Love

Your reply is beautiful and I take it to heart. I thank you for your words and prayers. (And I'm taking your advice and not telling my dad).

 

[Boanerges]

If your mom wishes to live in a lifestyle of adultery you are well within your rights to ask her to leave. Enabling someone in a sinful lifestyle is not helping them nor honoring your dad.

 

[ImmanuelWithUs]

If your mom wishes to live in a lifestyle of adultery you are well within your rights to ask her to leave. Enabling someone in a sinful lifestyle is not helping them nor honoring your dad.

Thank you. You're exactly right. This helped me a lot.

 

[Boanerges]

You are welcome my friend. Doing the right thing can be painful at times but in the end it will produce the best fruit.

 

[ImmanuelWithUs]

Thanks again to everyone who has replied. I'd love more advice if anyone else has any suggestions, scriptures, or insight.