TheAristocrat
Member
- Joined
- Oct 24, 2009
- Messages
- 38
Hi,
For the last ten years I have been striving to change my life and get closer to God. It's been in some ways very succesful, and in others a complete disaster throughout this period. I have rid many bad things from my life and in mind and heart am night and day different even to how I was this time last year, but other aspects of my life have continued to deteriorate. I used to be a very easy going, positive and thoroughly content person. In a way that wasn't dependant of what went on around me. But somehow, through the course of time this has been completely erroded into negativity, fear, failure and outright desolation. I have lost all my friends, my family life is horrible, everything (and I do mean everything) has gone wrong for me, wether it's just daily things or something that I actively try to do, many health issues. It's reached a point where I am totally drained and struggling to mount another offensive. This time is different, this time I don't even have the will to live. I have lost any enjoyment in life, to the point where I barely even talk. For the last month thought long and hard about it, and concluded there is nothing for me in this life. I've prayed for God to take me away, a rediculous thing to do, but circumstances bring out a different perspective. I don't know what more I can give, and I don't even want to continue on anyway. I know that God loves me, and I know it's not his fault things are the way they are, but irrespective of that, thing's are very dire and I have long since past the limit of what I can cope with. I have been a Christian long before all things went so wrong, just so you are more aware of my background in that regard. Thanks for you time, any assistance will be gratefully received.
For the last ten years I have been striving to change my life and get closer to God. It's been in some ways very succesful, and in others a complete disaster throughout this period. I have rid many bad things from my life and in mind and heart am night and day different even to how I was this time last year, but other aspects of my life have continued to deteriorate. I used to be a very easy going, positive and thoroughly content person. In a way that wasn't dependant of what went on around me. But somehow, through the course of time this has been completely erroded into negativity, fear, failure and outright desolation. I have lost all my friends, my family life is horrible, everything (and I do mean everything) has gone wrong for me, wether it's just daily things or something that I actively try to do, many health issues. It's reached a point where I am totally drained and struggling to mount another offensive. This time is different, this time I don't even have the will to live. I have lost any enjoyment in life, to the point where I barely even talk. For the last month thought long and hard about it, and concluded there is nothing for me in this life. I've prayed for God to take me away, a rediculous thing to do, but circumstances bring out a different perspective. I don't know what more I can give, and I don't even want to continue on anyway. I know that God loves me, and I know it's not his fault things are the way they are, but irrespective of that, thing's are very dire and I have long since past the limit of what I can cope with. I have been a Christian long before all things went so wrong, just so you are more aware of my background in that regard. Thanks for you time, any assistance will be gratefully received.