Good morning MR, how are you this morning?
If the rescue of your marriage is as important to you as you say, can I please urge you to read the two passages of advice by Apostle Paul? Ephesians 5:22-33 and 1 Corrinthians 7:1-5.
Maybe I'm drawing wrong conclusions from your short post but there doesn't seem to be much love expressed towards your husband, there's just negative with not much love or respect for him. I get it that he's not exactly deserving of much love or respect but remember that you and I both crave Jesus's love and affection, knowing we have done little to desrve it. The Ephesians passage tells us to love our spouse as Jesus loves His church - unconditional and undeserving.
Hats off to you that you took your husband back when he messed up and had an affair when many would have terminated the marriage. There's a positive and a negative there. Why was he open to having an affair? Some guys are naturally promiscuous and will just take or even seek out an opportunity. But most aren't and if you believe your hubby isn't, what was lacking in your marriage that made him 'available'? Look at the Corrinthians passage, never say no to an advance unless there's a really good reason and soon as that reason passes, say: 'Now where were we?' Sex in the marriage is a God given gift, use it and explore it. Be imaginative and explore ways to arouse and tantilize him. The positive is that he ditched his bit on the side and came back to you. Why? Whatever the reason, build on it.
You don't mention whether he's a believer. If he is, the two of you need to draw closer together with Jesus, sharing Bible passages and meditations, chatting about Jesus and what He means to you both: it needs to be a 3-way relationship with God in the centre. If he's not, participate and share in his interests, his circle of friends and then invite him to church functions and still share little snippets from the Bible that have encouraged you. Try to lead him into Jesus' loving arms.
Maybe worth a weekend away somewhere, a let's rebuild this time together.
One last snippet. Please don't get depressed about the state of your marriage, put it into context; you have the love, care and affection of your Lord which is given to you unconditionally. He is totally reliable and fully dependable and he will never let you down. This is what Jesus said about our earthly relationships Luke 9:26. We should be focussed upon Him so that should other close relationships fall apart, we don't, because we still have our one true love who adores us and is there for us. No, He doesn't make problems disappear, He guides and helps you through.
Dear sister, may God bless you with joy, fill you with love and His Holy Spirit in equal measures, give you His wisdom to steer you through choppy waters and joy and happiness in abudance.
Finally, finally, I'm praying for you. Please keep us all posted and if you want to chat, I'm only a PM away.
Lots of love, Andy xx