I am a mom of 2 great teenagers. My son, who is 15 has this girl at his school that has been chasing him for the last 3 years. Well he thinks he's in love and all of a sudden we are the bad guys. He has begun to rebel and in the last week he has run away with her twice. The second time they both left in the middle of the night. Please pray for me.I have been serving the Lord for 8 years and I have been under major attack in every area of my life. This situation has caused major arguments and much division with my husband and myself. I know the Lord says He will not give us more than we can bear but I just don't know how much more I can take.I love the lord and I love my family but I am at a point where I could just get up and leave and never look back. Please pray for me. Thank you
Please pray
- Thread starter Restored
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I will pray for your situation, sister.
I had a very simular situation in my life. My parents disapproved of a girl I was fond of and tried very hard to discourage us from seeing each other. My mother really loved Jesus. On her death bed(she had terminal cancer) she told my Dad to make sure that he continued to try and discourage our (me and my girlfriend) relationship. Well it seemed everyone including our church family was against us seeing each other. We ( my girlfriend and I) just celebrated our 27 th year of marriage.
I'm not saying this is true in your son's case, but if God has other plans it could take a long time to mend all of the hurt feelings. My wife has always felt at odds with some of my family because of the way the treat(ed) her.
Sometimes we can mistake the voice of the Lord with the voice of our own heart. Please be careful. May God bless you as you follow after Him.
I had a very simular situation in my life. My parents disapproved of a girl I was fond of and tried very hard to discourage us from seeing each other. My mother really loved Jesus. On her death bed(she had terminal cancer) she told my Dad to make sure that he continued to try and discourage our (me and my girlfriend) relationship. Well it seemed everyone including our church family was against us seeing each other. We ( my girlfriend and I) just celebrated our 27 th year of marriage.
I'm not saying this is true in your son's case, but if God has other plans it could take a long time to mend all of the hurt feelings. My wife has always felt at odds with some of my family because of the way the treat(ed) her.
Sometimes we can mistake the voice of the Lord with the voice of our own heart. Please be careful. May God bless you as you follow after Him.
Have you got to know the young lady your son is interested in? Or is she someone you believe is not a good influence.? What is the reason for being against this friendship?
Your son believes he is 'in love' with this young girl, then he is, to him it is real. Of course as adults we may think that teenage love isn't the same or it doesn't count but it does and their feelings still need to be respected. I have a 14 year old son, and he said he loved a girl back in our old town. and so I asked questions like what did he like about her so much and it was so sweet he said how beautiful her eyes were and she was also nice to be around, I never got to meet her as we moved.
My older son started having a girl friend around 15, and we got to meet her, invited her over to our home, included her on outings. They believed they were in love and so I never questioned that or ridiculed it. And of course my son is now 20 and has a different girl friend since. More often or not these young loves do not last forever and so why all the strife?
If its sexual activity that you are concerned about, of course we can teach our kids biblical principals and teach them about self respect. Pray with them and for them. We can set up house rules and guidelines, you know they can't be in the house alone, or they need to be chaperoned. But the more we forbid our kids from seeing someone the more they are going to pull in the opposite direction and rebell, and come hell or highwater they are going to see that person.
So maybe a compromise can be reached, get to know the young girl better, invite her to a family bbq or something.
I will keep you and family in my prayers. I pray that the Lord will guide you and give you wisdom on this matter. I pray that the Peace of God will fill your home and this situation will be resolved in an amicable way.
Calluna
Your son believes he is 'in love' with this young girl, then he is, to him it is real. Of course as adults we may think that teenage love isn't the same or it doesn't count but it does and their feelings still need to be respected. I have a 14 year old son, and he said he loved a girl back in our old town. and so I asked questions like what did he like about her so much and it was so sweet he said how beautiful her eyes were and she was also nice to be around, I never got to meet her as we moved.
My older son started having a girl friend around 15, and we got to meet her, invited her over to our home, included her on outings. They believed they were in love and so I never questioned that or ridiculed it. And of course my son is now 20 and has a different girl friend since. More often or not these young loves do not last forever and so why all the strife?
If its sexual activity that you are concerned about, of course we can teach our kids biblical principals and teach them about self respect. Pray with them and for them. We can set up house rules and guidelines, you know they can't be in the house alone, or they need to be chaperoned. But the more we forbid our kids from seeing someone the more they are going to pull in the opposite direction and rebell, and come hell or highwater they are going to see that person.
So maybe a compromise can be reached, get to know the young girl better, invite her to a family bbq or something.
I will keep you and family in my prayers. I pray that the Lord will guide you and give you wisdom on this matter. I pray that the Peace of God will fill your home and this situation will be resolved in an amicable way.
Calluna
Coconut
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"God can mightily use Christians who stay cool in a hot place, sweet in a sour place, big in a crushing place, and little in a big place."
I love the quote Calluna, especially the 'little in a big place'!
You both have given great advice.
There comes a time with teenagers that we as parents are no longer 'god'
in thier lives, and we have to let God take the reins.
Try to keep the communication lines open with your children, (its ok to tell them if you dont approve of a choice of decision they make, and talk to them about any dangers or pitfalls that may lay ahead from your vantage point, and listen, really listen to what they have to say) but personally I think its important to do a lot more praying for them, than talking. (since we`ve spent the better part of thier young lives, telling them everything we thought they should know, and they havent really forgotten, peers just have more influence on them now than we do)
I would rather my children know the power of prayer, than the power of mommy and daddy anyways
I can remember my daughter saying to me one time, mommy please dont pray against me (what she wanted) lol.
Of course there must be house rules, but you can no longer choose thier friends, or what they will do outside the home. Its something all parents wrestle with, (or at least we sure have) but you have began the process of what I call...'letting go...and letting God'
You and your husband must remain a team, and gently remind one another if you see the other is struggling with an issue that involves your children, that even when they are 'out of your control' they are in good hands (Gods hands) If you feel a subject is heating up into an arguement, or you and your husband just cant seem to see eye to eye on an issue, make a decision to withdraw and go pray about it (prayer helps us get Gods perspective on things)
As was said already, we dont know what God has planned, and when it comes to 'love,' or friendships, or merely testing thier freedom to choose, the mistakes, or the good choices are our childrens to make (no differently than it was for us at that age)
I hope I`m not talking too much beyond the age where you feel all this apply`s to your teens...ours are 17 and 18 and 22.
This is one of my cherished scriptures as a mother...hide it in your heart for the times you think your children have lost thier way, it will help you to keep trusting God.
Pro 16:9 A man's heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps.
I love the quote Calluna, especially the 'little in a big place'!
You both have given great advice.
There comes a time with teenagers that we as parents are no longer 'god'
in thier lives, and we have to let God take the reins.
Try to keep the communication lines open with your children, (its ok to tell them if you dont approve of a choice of decision they make, and talk to them about any dangers or pitfalls that may lay ahead from your vantage point, and listen, really listen to what they have to say) but personally I think its important to do a lot more praying for them, than talking. (since we`ve spent the better part of thier young lives, telling them everything we thought they should know, and they havent really forgotten, peers just have more influence on them now than we do)
I would rather my children know the power of prayer, than the power of mommy and daddy anyways
I can remember my daughter saying to me one time, mommy please dont pray against me (what she wanted) lol.Of course there must be house rules, but you can no longer choose thier friends, or what they will do outside the home. Its something all parents wrestle with, (or at least we sure have) but you have began the process of what I call...'letting go...and letting God'
You and your husband must remain a team, and gently remind one another if you see the other is struggling with an issue that involves your children, that even when they are 'out of your control' they are in good hands (Gods hands) If you feel a subject is heating up into an arguement, or you and your husband just cant seem to see eye to eye on an issue, make a decision to withdraw and go pray about it (prayer helps us get Gods perspective on things)
As was said already, we dont know what God has planned, and when it comes to 'love,' or friendships, or merely testing thier freedom to choose, the mistakes, or the good choices are our childrens to make (no differently than it was for us at that age)
I hope I`m not talking too much beyond the age where you feel all this apply`s to your teens...ours are 17 and 18 and 22.
This is one of my cherished scriptures as a mother...hide it in your heart for the times you think your children have lost thier way, it will help you to keep trusting God.
Pro 16:9 A man's heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps.
In my experience the hardest thing in raising children is the realization that there will come a time when they will walk their path, separate from all that we may say or do.
There is a point in time when all we can do is pray for them and let them go.
To do other wise will distroy the family ,the marriage, and in the most extreem cases faith.
As long as we as we respond in anger they will pull away. It is only when we let them go that they stop pulling away and look back to us for what is needed.
Every one must walk that path for themselves, make their own decissions and accept the responcibility for them. It is true for us and it will be true for our children and grandchildren as well.
Restored,
I suggest you and your husband sit down with this young man and make sure he realizes the dangers of his actions. Make sure that he understands the possible consequences and that he will have to take responcibility for his actions. Do all you can to keep the lines of communications open.
Let him know what he is doing to the family and the worry and greif he is bringing to you and your husband.
The best thing that ever happened to me at that age was not my parents anger, but the tears and concern they expressed.
The tears of my mother still effect me to this day forty some years later and five years since her passing.
Every child to some extent in one way or another becomes a protical Son/ daughter. Anger makes them go farther and stay longer and sometimes prevents their ever coming back.
In the parable of the protical son, The father didn't fight the son but let him go in peace and love. That leaves a path to return.
As I said they will go and the making a path to return is the very best we can do.
Love in Christ Jesus,
from a father of three and grandfather of six.
There is a point in time when all we can do is pray for them and let them go.
To do other wise will distroy the family ,the marriage, and in the most extreem cases faith.
As long as we as we respond in anger they will pull away. It is only when we let them go that they stop pulling away and look back to us for what is needed.
Every one must walk that path for themselves, make their own decissions and accept the responcibility for them. It is true for us and it will be true for our children and grandchildren as well.
Restored,
I suggest you and your husband sit down with this young man and make sure he realizes the dangers of his actions. Make sure that he understands the possible consequences and that he will have to take responcibility for his actions. Do all you can to keep the lines of communications open.
Let him know what he is doing to the family and the worry and greif he is bringing to you and your husband.
The best thing that ever happened to me at that age was not my parents anger, but the tears and concern they expressed.
The tears of my mother still effect me to this day forty some years later and five years since her passing.
Every child to some extent in one way or another becomes a protical Son/ daughter. Anger makes them go farther and stay longer and sometimes prevents their ever coming back.
In the parable of the protical son, The father didn't fight the son but let him go in peace and love. That leaves a path to return.
As I said they will go and the making a path to return is the very best we can do.
Love in Christ Jesus,
from a father of three and grandfather of six.
Thank you all for your thoughts on this issue. Alot has happened since I posted my prayer request. I have thought about your responses and quite honestly alot of what was said was confirmation for me. It is all about letting go for sure and about not trying to be god in our childrens lives. I guess I had such a difficult time as a teenager that I decided I needed to protect my children but it hasn't worked out too good. I also thought alot about what my son is already dealing with at this point in his life and how much more stress we are adding to his life. Again, thank you all so much for your advice. It has been very helpful and I appreciate you all so much. God bless you all.
SpiritLedEd
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I can only imagine the stress you feel over this situation. One thing I would do if I were you: I would make sure to have at least one recent photo of him available and, if you can get one, a recent photo of her as well. These will be very helpful should it ever be necessary to bring the police into the situation when he takes off.Restored said:
SLE
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jiggyfly said:
Amen brother im in a similar situation with one of my kids, we have to let God be God, and show them the love of Christ. Or we will drive them away, give them instuction about the ways of God, but dont try to force Gods hand. lol i love your outcome as well brother, all glory to God!
God bless
