prayers for the renewal of my friendship.....

[wordwarrior86]

Good afternoon! Me and my guy friend met online way back in January of this year. He's 29 and I'm 28, of course. We both have a few things in common with each other, video games, movies and music, and also a great love for God. I have been by side through thick and thin, from troubles at our jobs to new relationships. In fact, I was there for him when he and a girlfriend at the time had broken up. He's my best friend and my brother in Christ. We would talk and text each other all day, every day. And I loved the time I've spent with him. We even met shortly after we met online. I never expected to meet someone as amazing and wonderful as him. He's so amazing that a couple of months later into our friendship, I ended up falling in love with him. I know-it may have felt a little deceptive and selfish to have those feelings for him and he's my brother/friend in Christ and that I can't love anyone more than God....and that includes him. And I'm so sorry for falling for him, but I do. I feel like he's part of me. And my guy friend is so amazing, and he's also a man after God's heart. Anyway, I told him how I felt in July and while, he respected what I did, he didn't want to mess up the friendship. So we put it behind us. Soon after, his behavior started to change...he doesn't acknowledge me on Facebook; I could comment or like something on his page, and he ignores it but if he has other friends to do the same thing, he immediately responds. His texting has changed as well, from being happy to hear from me to being subdued. I texted him earlier this morning and he hasn't responded. Even calls go unanswered now. I try to dismiss it as him being busy but when I see him in Facebook a minute or two later, I don't know....everything is changing and it hurts so much....

Now, he's moving to Florida for a new job in a week from now. I know that I'll miss having him around, but with things being the way they are now, I don't know what will become of us....About two weeks ago, I made him a care package of all his favorite things and some things to help him adjust down there. I really worked hard to put it together. He ended up really liking the gift; however, he says that he couldn't accept it. He claimed that what was inside caught him off guard....I had some Rice Krispie Treats, a gift card for a video game store, a shark tooth necklace, a bottle of sand from my hometown in Florida(we both live in Alabama), and mailing supplies. Nothing to catch him off guard...but he didn't want it and he said that he's sending it back to my house. It hurt me because I care about him and I wanted him to be okay while in Florida...I may still be in love with him despite being a friend to him and I understand that this may be confusing to him, but I never intended to make him feel uncomfortable or hurt him in any way. I miss him and his friendship, I've apologized to him and he forgave me, but he told me that things won't ever be the same with us again. I'm so heartbroken that as much as I apologize to him, he doesn't fully forgive me, even though he says that he does. What if I never see or hear from him again? I fear that I may have really hurt him...Even though I never meant to. I don't want to lose him, and he moves away and out of my life. He's my friend and I want his friendship back. I know that this was too long to read, sorry...lol. I pray to our Heavenly Father for our friendship to be renewed and for me and my friend to make up and for things to be how they used to be. My friends, please feel free to pray for me as well. Thank you.