Preoccupied with death of brother

[Faithin1]

My brother passed away almost a year ago. It was sudden and a total shock to my entire family. Although I have lost other loved ones, this was the first in my immediate family. Since my brother's death, I seem to be preoccupied with thoughts of him and what he is doing. He was a true follower of our Lord, so I am not worried about him being saved. Shortly after his death, I had dreams of him and each time I always knew that he was dead. They were actually comforting to me because I had a chance to see him again. I haven't had any dreams of him recently, but I can't stop thinking about him. I have so many questions. I often wonder if he realized that he was dying when they were working on him at the hospital, or if he was afraid, or if after he died he realized that he was no longer here, or if he thought about his family. His funeral, procession and gravesite service were simply beautiful. He was in law enforcement, so for miles along his lengthy procession officers were standing at attention and saluting as the cars passed. I wondered if God would allow him to see the outpouring of respect and the beautiful military service (U.S. Navy vet) at the cemetery.

I know that the Bible says that when we are absent from the body we are present with the Lord (our spirit). It also says that the dead know nothing (our physical body). I realize none of you can tell me what happens when we die. I am just wondering if my thoughts of my brother are a normal phase of grieving. I miss him terribly, and I guess in a sense it is just so hard for me to accept the fact that he is gone. I keep reliving the night he died and seeing his lifeless body. I keep reliving being told by another brother that he had died, and it is almost as painful today as that night. I know that I have God's promise that I will see him again, but I still struggle.

I have searched the scriptures for answers, but I am still confused. Can anyone direct me to scripture that will help? A day has not passed that I don't think of my dear brother.

The brother who died was a wonderful person who cared about others and was very giving. He constantly witnessed to strangers about Jesus. I have another brother who is a textbook example of a sociopath (also diagnosed). He is heartless and doesn't care about anyone but himself. I continue to pray for him because I know that only God can help him. I have asked the Lord to forgive me, because I resented losing the caring brother, while the other brother is still here and thrives on hurting my family.

 

[maciek]

Death is not an end...

I understand you and your problem. Every event call us to respond in 3 ways. Emotional respond will make us sad and depressed of the event. It should not be long if we heal it with rational respond. But the best responds to the event would be spiritual and with deep faith. One must be able to trust and surrender that God does everything for our good. Death is not an end of life but beginning of another life. Let your brother enjoy the eternal rest given by God and you enjoy your life giving glory to God.

 

[Faithin1]

Thank you Maciek, you are right and I know in my heart that my brother is in a better place.

 

[ladylovesJesus]

When you think of your loved one,
Doesn't it remind you of all the warm memories he or she has left behind ?
Like those caring words and kind acts ?
When your loved one was alive,
There must have been times when you two had fights,
And thought the person was a nuisance.
But now a proud citizen of the Heavenly City,
Your loved one is showering people with nothing but dear memories from up above.
This is how your heart becomes filled with his or her precious, joyous remembrances.
Your loved one's kindness and warmth lives on in you...

2 cor 1.3-12
Blessed [be] God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;
Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.
For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ.
And whether we be afflicted, [it is] for your consolation and salvation, which is effectual in the enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer: or whether we be comforted, [it is] for your consolation and salvation

And our hope of you [is] steadfast, knowing, that as ye are partakers of the sufferings, so [shall ye be] also of the consolation.
For we would not, brethren, have you ignorant of our trouble which came to us in Asia, that we were pressed out of measure, above strength, insomuch that we despaired even of life:
But we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God which raiseth the dead:
Who delivered us from so great a death, and doth deliver: in whom we trust that he will yet deliver [us];
Ye also helping together by prayer for us, that for the gift [bestowed] upon us by the means of many persons thanks may be given by many on our behalf.
For our rejoicing is this, the testimony of our conscience, that in simplicity and godly sincerity, not with fleshly wisdom, but by the grace of God, we have had our conversation in the world, and more abundantly to you-ward.

I like psalm 23

 

[maciek]

Hope and pray you are better now..

I hope and pray that you feel better. Yes every seperation is a pain and every communion is healing. So let the Lord of communion heal you with His healing love.

 

[Faithin1]

Thank you again, maciek. Little did you know, you responded on the 1st anniversary of my brother's death (1/27). I am much better now. I realize now that I was simply grieving. I do not doubt for one minute that my brother is doing just fine in the loving arms of the Lord. No better place to be. He, and only He, is worthy to be praised!

 

[abigya]

Thank you again, maciek. Little did you know, you responded on the 1st anniversary of my brother's death (1/27). I am much better now. I realize now that I was simply grieving. I do not doubt for one minute that my brother is doing just fine in the loving arms of the Lord. No better place to be. He, and only He, is worthy to be praised!

Dear Faithin1
Please allow the Holy Spirit to operate in you, he is our only comforter. Don’t let the devil still your happiness. your brother is so happy with Jesus.

I also lost my father some years back which was a very devastating news to all my family, I was the only believer with in my family at that time.
at first it I couldn't open my heart and let the Holy spirit comfort my heart, but i remember one night, i was praying with so much heaviness in my heart and at one point the presence of God was so powerful in me. The next morning I find my self different.....God took it, and I was able to be the comforter to the rest of my family.

I am telling you my story because I believe you should allow God to work in you and be the comforter to the rest of your family. (Be the instrument)

2 corintians 1:2-5
2 Grace be to you and peace from God our Father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ.
3 ¶ Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;
4 Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.
5 For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ.

with love and Blessings!

 

[Faithin1]

ladylovesJesus, that was beautiful! You also responded on the 1st anniversary of my brother's death (1/27). Sorry I am just responding. I didn't notice your post until today. Thank you. Thank you also, abigya. It is so nice to receive words of comfort from other believers.