Questions and Confusion

[Scarlett]

Hello all!

This is hard for me, because I don't know where to begin, I don't know what's the most important question to ask, and I also don't want to be viewed as coming from an argumentative standpoint. I am genuinely seeking answers, but have come across some roadblocks. I do not mean to offend or put anyone off. I hope I don't, as I'm doing my best to be respectful. I just have questions that I cannot find answers to on my own (yet), and I'm looking for some direction and other perspectives.

I have no support at home, my husband is an adamant atheist, and I don't know many other people. Which brings me to my first question(s).
How important is it to go to church, and how do you know what kind of church to go to?

A Christian church seems the obvious answer, but it's not as easy as that. There seems to be many different kinds of Christianity. How do you know which path is right? They all seem to claim that their way is 'the only way'. Does it really matter what denomination?

I have visited a couple of churches in my area, and the experiences have not been so great. I went to a UU Church, and they seemed to talk more about why Christianity was wrong than right. I went to a Pentecostal church, and maybe it's just inexperience, I don't know, but I got kinda freaked out. It wasn't what I thought church was I guess. Instead it was a lot of singing and dancing and laying hands and such, which ended up with them putting me on the spot right in the middle of everyone asking me to become a Christian and a member of their church. It was very uncomfortable to me, and they almost seemed offended when I declined. But there was no teaching at all - I went there to learn and didn't learn anything except the words to a couple of songs. I went to a Methodist Church and the woman (who coincidentally is my son's best friend's mother) who was ministering (I'm still unclear on what to call people - minister, pastor, preacher, reverend?) was very unsettling. She was nice enough, very welcoming, but I felt very judged. Very judged. Maybe that's just my own insecurities, too, though. I guess I just expected to feel more accepted than condemned. There weren't many people at that church though, so maybe I'm not alone in feeling that way. Then again - maybe I'm reading into it to fit my own agenda. It's hard to tell. I'm very confused. I live in a very Christian community, so there is no lack of churches to attend, it's just - how do you pick one, and how do you know it's the right one?

Are there any churches that actually teach? I feel like all the teaching is done in Sunday School for the kids, and being almost 35, I don't think I would fit in there. The Sunday services I have attended have been just reading a few verses (up to a chapter) out of the Bible and singing a song or three or four. No perspective on the readings, no other information given. I know the Bible says you're supposed to fellowship, but I can (and do) read at home. Why bother going if that's all there is? It probably sounds selfish, but I want (and feel I need) more. I honestly feel that I get more out of listening to Christian talk radio than going to church. But I have a desire and need to interact with others.

I have many more questions, and believe me, I will be asking, but I thought this was a good place to get started. I hope I haven't offended anyone by sharing my experiences, and I hope someone will be able to give me some guidance.
Thanks

 

[Brother Mike]

A good Church

Left a P.M..... and a link to just teaching without the goofy stuff...

I am sure others will come with different opinions, and things to check out... This forum is made of many different denominations...

Jesus Is Lord.

 

[RJ]

Hello all!

This is hard for me, because I don't know where to begin, I don't know what's the most important question to ask, and I also don't want to be viewed as coming from an argumentative standpoint. The most important thing here is that your asking and searching for truth I am genuinely seeking answers, but have come across some roadblocks. I do not mean to offend or put anyone off. I hope I don't, as I'm doing my best to be respectful. I just have questions that I cannot find answers to on my own (yet), and I'm looking for some direction and other perspectives.

I have no support at home, my husband is an adamant atheist, and I don't know many other people. Which brings me to my first question(s).
How important is it to go to church, and how do you know what kind of church to go to? Church is very important but this is my opinion from many years experience: It should be in order of importance, Jesus, you and Jesus, Family and then Church and church family.

A Christian church seems the obvious answer, but it's not as easy as that. There seems to be many different kinds of Christianity. Here is Christianity in a nutshell:
Ephesians 2:8
New International Version (NIV)

<SUP id=en-NIV-29238 class=versenum>8</SUP> For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—

This Grace is the New testament or New Covenant and the opposite of the LAW or the OLd Testament and Old Covenant. The Law is a set of requirements that YOU have to do in order to be saved. Grace is exactly as God says above, it is Gods love and salvation for you and it is a gift and if it is a gift it is free, you don't earn it, you believe and it is given to you.
Now you will get many different variations of this and you have to decided for yourself. Here are just two that are false ( as I and others see it):
1. You must be baptisted in water to be saved.
2. If you don't speak in tongues your not saved.

The way you know that they are false is that though they can be some wonderful and Biblical experiences, they are requirements, must-do's or else you are not saved. These are classic stuck in the Law and not saved by Grace.

How do you know which path is right? Don't take it from someone else, pray and ask the Holy Spirit give you discernment.They all seem to claim that their way is 'the only way'. Does it really matter what denomination? When time is right, find a good church that teaches from the Bible, NO Exception!!! Two reasons why denomnations of Christianity doesn't matter: (1) There are none of our current denominations in the Bible or Heaven.
I have visited a couple of churches in my area, and the experiences have not been so great. I went to a UU Church, and they seemed to talk more about why Christianity was wrong than right. I went to a Pentecostal church, and maybe it's just inexperience, I don't know, but I got kinda freaked out. It wasn't what I thought church was I guess. Instead it was a lot of singing and dancing and laying hands and such, which ended up with them putting me on the spot right in the middle of everyone asking me to become a Christian and a member of their church. It was very uncomfortable to me, and they almost seemed offended when I declined. Good for you!!! But there was no teaching at all - I went there to learn and didn't learn anything except the words to a couple of songs. I went to a Methodist Church and the woman (who coincidentally is my son's best friend's mother) who was ministering (I'm still unclear on what to call people - minister, pastor, preacher, reverend?) was very unsettling. She was nice enough, very welcoming, but I felt very judged. Very judged. Maybe that's just my own insecurities, too, though. I guess I just expected to feel more accepted than condemned. Thank God you left. A congregations job is to be open, accepting and loving with absolutely no judgement and here is why: Romans 8:1 (paraphrasing) For now there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ. If Christ does not judge a true Christian how can they possibly?
There weren't many people at that church though, so maybe I'm not alone in feeling that way. Then again - maybe I'm reading into it to fit my own agenda. It's hard to tell. I'm very confused. I live in a very Christian community, so there is no lack of churches to attend, it's just - how do you pick one, and how do you know it's the right one? Again, you can tell Christians by there love for one another and preach from the Bible.
Are there any churches that actually teach? I feel like all the teaching is done in Sunday School for the kids, and being almost 35, I don't think I would fit in there. The Sunday services I have attended have been just reading a few verses (up to a chapter) out of the Bible and singing a song or three or four. No perspective on the readings, no other information given. I know the Bible says you're supposed to fellowship, but I can (and do) read at home. Why bother going if that's all there is? It probably sounds selfish, but I want (and feel I need) more. I honestly feel that I get more out of listening to Christian talk radio than going to church. But I have a desire and need to interact with others. Keep looking, God has the right place for you somewhere. Again, I tell my Sunday School class, Three things are the most important; You, the Bible and the Holy Spirit ( Jesus). Keep that going and everything in your life will fall in place.
I have many more questions, and believe me, I will be asking, but I thought this was a good place to get started. I hope I haven't offended anyone by sharing my experiences, and I hope someone will be able to give me some guidance. No, you are in a great place and you are exactly what T.J. should be all about: Seeking God and understanding.
Thanks

This is a great post. Welcome to T.J. . I put all my answers red above.
God Bless and stay in Gods word and know that you are saved and should have full hope in Glory!

 

[happyharold4]

Yes indeed---Keep visiting the various types of fellowship available in your area until the Lord starts to draw you back to one of them more than the others---Don't make it sound like such a bone in the throat---It can be exciting and fun visiting all the different ones and seeing how the Lord works so diversely and yet it's the same Lord and same spirit----Some of course are kooky and off the wall and soon enough you'll be able to discern the difference---Many are cults, so you need to beware of that too--Read Proverbs 3:5-6.

Happy

 

[agua]

G'day Scarlett,

It's too bad your husband isn't seeking a church with you as this would make it less daunting and more enjoyable. All in good time though eh.

All you can do is pray for guidance and continue to attend church groups until you find one that suits. Be careful, though, that you're not trying find a "perfect" church because it doesn't exist. As you continue to study the scriptures you will become more settled in the type of church you seek.
It's good you are looking for a church that offers solid bible teaching.
Personally I don't believe a woman can be a pastor but many today think otherwise.

Seek and you will find.

God bless.

 

[rizen1]

Grace and Peace

Welcome to talkJesus. Yes as Brother Mike mention this site is made up of many denominations, but this is not to fear. It is better you hear 10 doctrines and research it than hearing 1 doctrine from one man who says he and he only have the truth. It is times like these one can be easily deceived so listen to what everyone have posted here with an open mind.

Brother RJ said it best.

How do you know which path is right? Don't take it from someone else, pray and ask the Holy Spirit give you discernment.They all seem to claim that their way is 'the only way'. Does it really matter what denomination? When time is right, find a good church that teaches from the Bible, NO Exception!!! Two reasons why denomnations of Christianity doesn't matter: (1) There are none of our current denominations in the Bible or Heaven.

Starting at home is a great start, if you have any close friends interested in having a bible study or study over the phone is great. The early disciples meet at river banks and each other houses for fellowship. You can purchase study guides or find free ones online for your small group or family. Be open and ask God for wisdom. I enjoy home fellowships because there's more interaction, accountability, free to ask questions and it's more personal. In your journey don't "think" you have to find a building or denomination, be open to the fellowship that have 5 people and not 500, meets in a basement and not a grand building. The home fellowship might a good setting for your spouse, it's not intimidating and does not fit into any stereotypes.

Matthew 18:20 For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them.

You do not need a building to find God. There's no perfect church and each individual is responsible for finding the truth. God's truth and not man's truth. At the end you still have to test all things and do your own study when you find a church.

What RJ said is important, concerning.. find a good church that teaches from the Bible, NO Exception!!

The church have become a motivational platform, 2 bible verses and the remaining 40mins pastor telling a story.

You are in the right place, ask all the questions you want.
Your family is in my prayers

 

[Scarlett]

Thanks for all the responses! I apologize for not responding until now - I've been out of town.

First, I have to say - What a great place this is! I sincerely appreciate hearing your perspectives and feeling welcome to ask questions. I'm so glad I found this forum!

I am going to visit another church this Sunday and I'm pretty excited about it. Nervous, but excited.

Thanks again.


-Scarlett

 

[rlowe]

Praying that you find the right church soon, where others can meet your needs & you can meet others'.

I don't know what cities are closest to you, so check-out below site for non-denominational churches in your area or pm ok cities.

(True non-denominational is not a denomination but a hodgepodge who choose to put aside there differences.)

Locate a Church Using Our Christian Church Directory - USA Church

 

[SpiritLedEd]

Welcome to TJ, Scarlett. Here's a website that provides lots of answers without sending people into brain overload: Ask Questions about Life and God

Spirit Led Ed (SLE)

 

[jiggyfly]

Welcome to TalkJesus Scarlett. There are many threads here at TJ you can review and please don't hesitate to ask questions.

 

[Dreamer]

Scarlett, I commend you for trying so hard. It's not easy going by yourself to these places. Ask the Lord to show you the place of worship and fellowship. Keep asking and believing and He will show you . Maybe He already has. He wants you to be happy. He has that place for you chosen already.

 

[cmiller217]

The Bible tells us to not forsake the gathering of ourselves together so it is very important to b in church cause thats how God set it up. It is hard to find a good church, i personally am pentecostal because i find that for the most part, in my organization anyway, that the Bible is the only way, every word is true etc etc. but there are some pentecostal churches that are missing the mark as well, like u said, some are way to pushy and its hard to minister to someone wen they are un comfortable. The best thing i know to say is to pray and ask GOD to reveal himself to you through His Word and just dig in by reading your Bible. God inspired every word written in it and HE expects us to read it and study it cause it teaches us who HE is and how to livd for HIM. Jesus Christ is the only way to Heaven, John 1;1 tells us that he is GOD incarnate, 1 part of three that make up the Godhead- Father Spirit Son ....

Sent from Android via Tapatalk

 

[Stickz]

Hey Scarlett,

If it's the truth that you seek, you are going to have to be willing to be patient to get it.

Pray and read the Bible often. When someone tells you something, do not hesitate to ask them to show you the scripture for what they say. Almost all churches teach from the Bible, but you still end up with so many different takes. Search the internet to see how many Christian denominations there are in the world today. It can be discouraging.

But keep reading, and searching for the truth that you need. If you are uncomfortable in the churches that you go to, keep looking until you find one. Meanwhile, use Talk Jesus for fellowship. The Bible definitely teaches that believers should fellowship one with another

Hebrews 10:25 Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.

but it also warns us to beware of those that aren't true believers.

Ephesians 5:11 And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.

I Corinthians 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

There are many other verses about false prophets and such.

So, you are left trying to decide who the true believers are so that you can fellowship with them. If you truly believe in God, then you truly believe that He is real; ask Him to guide you, learn to trust in Him, and He will not fail you.

James 1:22 But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.

A Strong's Concordance with the Hebrew and Greek makes for a great Bible study tool.

There is also a website called the Sword Project, where you can download a program that will allow you to look at a bunch of different translations of the Bible for comparison purposes. I love it, myself.

If I can be of any further assistance, please let me know, I'll try to help you in any way that I can.

Seek Him with all of your heart, soul, mind and strength

 

[rlowe]

Praying for your success in finding a church in which you will be fed & helped as well as able to help others.

We've moved around a good bit & have found it often helps to narrow down which churches to visit by calling.
Finding out if they do what you need in a service & get Spirit giudance, then going to narrowed-down group.

Another note from experience:
there are some non-denominational that are only supported by a denomination thus call themselves that: 2 examples I've been to - Episcopal with less Episcopalians than other denominations &
Baptist by name only.

 

[SpiritLedEd]

Scarlett,

There may be churches in your area that have websites you can check out to listen to worship music and teachings and can get samples of who they are and what they're about. Call local churches and see if they have a web address.

SLE

 

[Face His Truth]

I just have questions

I usually recommend to always First commit to asking God to help begin your understanding of salvation. Then just start reading the bible where you'll likely find answers to many of your questions. Which, in turn, once you've learn answers to some of your questions, it may help lead you to a church that lines up with your biblical understanding. It's sort of like "the cart before the horse" analogy. In other words, why would you look for a church before you have begun reading God's Word (the bible) to first try and learn a little about God, Jesus, repentance, baptism and salvation etc.? Otherwise you might be walking into a cult church?

But once you've gained some biblical knowledge with God, it will help you to recognize which churches might be helpful to attend and which ones to avoid. Which is probably why you're confused because you want the Answers from God first but you're asking humans in churches and on the Internet First instead of You first doing some work by reading and believing God's word? So asking questions is fine but if You aren't first willing to read and believe the gospel on your own, then you could easily be led down the wrong path.

And I think 'denominations' has divided and done more harm to Christianity than good. So beware. Take your lead from God/Jesus/Holy Spirit and the bible before a man's words from behind a pulpit. Too many wolves in sheep's clothing attending church buildings as well but little or nothing being done by pastors to weed them out, IMO. Hope that makes some sense to you? As per my forum Intro; glad to email you my thoughts on these and other issues. Having an atheist husband is whole other matter which I hope to discuss with others in this forum too. However, since not even one person has accepted my offer to edify in His name, it seems likely there is little if any 'edifying' going on this forum? But then most people in most churches don't edify either. They just go to church and leave immediately without edifying with anyone about God after the service. Anyway, keep reading and may God bless you with faith to endure?

 

[gmc4jesus]

Getting To Know Jesus

Rule 10: No soliciting anywhere on the site.

 

[Brother Mike]

Promotion and material.

Rule 10: No soliciting anywhere on the site.

Cost of buying just all the e-books. 119.40

If you wish to post an article from a web site, even written by yourself, you may do so, including the Author's name.

If you wish to P.M someone with a link, you may do so, However if your reported and your link contains anything for sale, We may ban you.

You left no information here that anyone could use to help them listen to God in finding a Church. You just promoted your teaching on Youtube, (Children and other people talking included, helping with your teaching?) You promoted your church with no help given to find a right church.

If you wish to contribute with your knowledge of the Word, then please take the time, energy, and effort to do so, like the rest of us.

If you wish to promote directly or indirectly (Google searches) You will need permission from the site moderator Chad. Please leave him a P.M, and it will get passed down to us that you have been approved.

My hope is that I don't have to mention this again.

Mike.