Quick Q: Relationships based on Denomination...

[lola]

Ok. So i'm just curious as to what people think on the topic of Relationships, as in Marrage, being limited to or based upon demonination.
i'm wondering if anyone believes that it's the only way to go...i.e. Baptists w/Baptists, or Methodist w/Methodist.

I'm not saying that it's wrong or right. i'm just wondering.
if you have Biblical Backup, i'm all about hearing it.

Thanks for your thoughts and opinions!

 

[rizen1]

Grace and Peace Sister.

The bible is very clear on being unequally yoked with nonbelievers.

2 Corinthians 6:14 (KJV)
14Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

I believe if the person stands by the bible, a true man of God, walks in his light, meditates on the word, I see no problem with denomination.

But be aware that sum denominations are cults and twist the word of God.

The bible says we must seek him first, and he will bless us .

Matthew 6:33 (KJV)
33But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

Always ask God for discernment when it comes to choosing a mate. Only he can judge because he knows his sheep.

John 10:27 (KJV)
27My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me:

 

[lola]

Thanks Riz!

I agree with the "unequally Yoked".
Thanks for the Biblical back up!
It's good to hear other thoughts on the topic.
i was just curious as to what others had to say
on the matter!

God Bless!

 

[Cody]

I also agree with Rizen1. Nice scripture, by the way.

Another thing we need to think of is, will your different beliefs cause trouble in the relationship? If you have strong beliefs and don't attend on changing them. I don't think it would be wise to date someone with different beliefs. Unless the person you was going to date changed to yours or if you changed to theirs. I think this would work if they were an unbeliever also. If you witnessed to them and they came to Christ. I believe you could date them then, but make sure they're not coming to Christ just because they know that's the only way you'll date them. Like Matthew 6:33 says, seek the kingdom of God first. God is not the author of confusion.

1 Corinthians 14:33
"For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints." KJV

 

[MavMin]

I don't know of any that worked out well. If you each truly believe in the doctrines of your church where will you go? You kids will think neither of you really care so it must not matter and may abandon faith altogether.

 

[SpiritLedEd]

Ok. So i'm just curious as to what people think on the topic of Relationships, as in Marrage, being limited to or based upon demonination.
i'm wondering if anyone believes that it's the only way to go...i.e. Baptists w/Baptists, or Methodist w/Methodist.

I'm not saying that it's wrong or right. i'm just wondering.
if you have Biblical Backup, i'm all about hearing it.

Thanks for your thoughts and opinions!

Lola:

If both the man and woman have received the Lord Jesus as their Lord and Savior under terms of Romans 10:9-10 (the heart of Christian theology) there should not be a problem in my opinion.

In lesser doctrinal issues, each person should recognize the other's right to hold the beliefs he/she holds and be open to discussing these matters in the spirit of love. If one or both of the people involved is belligerent and domineering in their attitude toward these things, the relationship is destined to fail and should not be pursued because belligerent and domineering people are that way in every situation, not just in spiritual disagreements.

SLE

 

[MavMin]

Hmmm, Methodists - infant baptism by sprinkling, lose your salvation
Baptists - believer's baptism by immersion, eternal security

Baptists - Lord's Supper a memorial not a sacrament
Catholics - The elements become the literal body and blood of Christ and a means of receiving salvation

Baptists - signs ceased
Charismatics - signs continue

Baptists - baptism a symbol, eternal security
Church of Christ - baptism essential to salvation, lose your salvation

No problems here?? Amos says, "How can two walk together except they be agreed?" In most cases, if a child doesn't dump faith completely because of the confusion they take the faith of the father so ladies how much do you believe in your doctrines? Do you want your child to follow the Dad's beliefs or yours? Dads, if you messed up and married outside your faith then be strong since they may follow you.

One of the worse doctrines to infiltrate the Church is the concept of nonessential/lesser doctrines. If God spoke to an issue who are we to declare it nonessential?

I Cor 11 deals with hair as well as the Lord's Supper. Most hold to the ordinance of the Lord's Supper but dumped the teaching on hair though it is couched in eternality seeing it is tied to the roles of God to Angels, God to Man and Man to Woman. And in the end Paul stated if you don't like it too bad. It is how it is in all the churches. It is not a nonessential or even a personal liberty thing.

1 Cor 11:16

VII. He sums up all by referring those who were contentious to the usages and customs of the churches, v. 16. Custom is in a great measure the rule of decency. And the common practice of the churches is what would have them govern themselves by. He does not silence the contentious by mere authority, but lets them know that they would appear to the world as very odd and singular in their humour if they would quarrel for a custom to which all the churches of Christ were at that time utter strangers, or against a custom in which they all concurred, and that upon the ground of natural decency. It was the common usage of the churches for women to appear in public assemblies, and join in public worship, veiled; and it was manifestly decent that they should do so. Those must be very contentious indeed who would quarrel with this, or lay it aside.
(from Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible: New Modern Edition, Electronic Database. Copyright (c) 1991 by Hendrickson Publishers, Inc.)

Hmm, domineering or belligerent? If you don't believe your doctrine strong enough to want a mate of like mind and for your children to follow those doctrines then you don't really cherish what you believe as truth. They are mere preferences. It seems most people today have stronger convictions about the best car and sports team then they do on truth and sound doctrine.

If salvation were the only important or essential doctrine why did God put in all the rest? He wasted His breath. We could have had a much smaller Bible and maybe could have memorized it all had He just cut to the chase and forgot all that nonessential filler.

If you can just toss the rest of Scripture to the wind and marry willy-nilly because they profess salavation then don't have children for you are putting their souls at a higher risk than the child of a lost person. The devil works best with confusion and you are working confusion. The child will be more susceptible to a cult or look at Mom and Dad and say, "Well it doesn't seem to matter much to Mom and Dad so maybe it doesn't matter at all."

In 32 years experience, I know of no marriage where it worked well or was good for the children. Many times children wandered for years before someone won them to Christ. The parents ultimately quit Church completely or divorced because of the differences. They may seem small when you are in lust or even romantic love but when the rubber hits the road day after day year after year those so-called nonessentials grind away as one or both souls will be vexed unless neither are really Christians.

There are no guarantees that being raised in an unified home a child will get saved and follow in your teachings but the chances are far greater than in one that is not unified. In marriage two become one but if you are not one in your faith then the rest of the union is on shakey ground.

 

[rizen1]

In 32 years experience, I know of no marriage where it worked

I hold no tide to any denomination does that mean, there's no hope for me.

I wouldnt want to be with anyone who puts doctrine infront of relationship with God,
but if they choose.
I'm more than happy to be single, I cant be with a pharisee.

 

[jiggyfly]

I hold no tide to any denomination does that mean, there's no hope for me.

I wouldnt want to be with anyone who puts doctrine infront of relationship with God,
but if they choose.
I'm more than happy to be single, I cant be with a pharisee.

Hallelujah!!!!!!! I got a big chuckle out of your post Rizen1, thanks.

 

[MavMin]

You have a misconception of Phariseeism. Their biggest problem was hypocrisy. Standing for your faith and/or sound doctrine and seeking a mate of like mind and spirit is not being a Pharisee. The Pharisees were right in most of their doctrine but they sometimes ignored it or shaded things to their liking. When Jesus castigated them for forgetting the weightier things of the Law He affirmed their practice of tithing a tenth on their mint, anise and cummin. Something in our age that we would consider a lesser doctrine or nonessential Jesus affirmed as something that should be done.

I'm glad you are happy single for unless you find a milquetoast of a man who doesn't really stand for anything, thus does not care, you will have a problem finding someone outside of your "flavor." You are a denomination of some sort. Most "non-denominational" core doctrines are Baptist, Presby or something else for there is nothing new under the sun, only the names change to protect the guilty. ;-)

By the way, without sound doctrine you cannot have a good relationship with God for to deny His doctrine is basically to deny Him for He is the Word and doctrine coems from the Word and He is the Teacher and doctrines come from His teaching. He does not have multiple personalities. There is only ONE truth not many so in any given doctrine only those who hold to the right one are right. The rest are wrong. Something about a narrow way comes to mind.

 

[MavMin]

FYI, I am about to start packing for a trip out of town and there may not be wireless in that area so I will be out of touch not running from the fray. I may not get back here until next Monday.

Shalom!

 

[jiggyfly]

By the way, without sound doctrine you cannot have a good relationship with God for to deny His doctrine is basically to deny Him for He is the Word and doctrine coems from the Word and He is the Teacher and doctrines come from His teaching. He does not have multiple personalities. There is only ONE truth not many so in any given doctrine only those who hold to the right one are right. The rest are wrong. Something about a narrow way comes to mind.

Did Abraham have sound doctrine? I do believe that there is a narrow way but I guarentee you that no denomination including your's holds the rights to it. Not all doctrines come from Christ, after all there are apposing doctrines within the christian religious system between one sect and another. We are instructed all through the new testament to be led by HolySpirit not traditon.

 

[SpiritLedEd]

I honestly would not want a spouse who was in lock step with me on all such issues. I firmly agree with the anonymous writer who said that if two people agree on everything all the time, one of them is unnecessary.

SLE

 

[aksd]

There has been quite a lively discussion on this topic, and I would like to add some myself, but at a different angle.
Are denominations Biblical in the first place? If God's Word does not sanction or justify denominations, is it worthwhile holding on to them so tenaciously, going to the extent of marring our mutual relationships or married life.
I am with rizen1 and others who stay away from denominations. I know for myself that I am saved not because of my denomination (was born and brought up in a Baptist family) but because of my faith.
The Book of Acts - the history of the first Church, that sets out for us the giuiding practices and pitfalls for the body of Christ (and the rest of the New Testamant) nowhere mentions Christianity as a religion. Acts refers to Christainity as "The Way", and to Christains as "People of The Way". It is in Acts 11:26 that the word "Christian" is first used - " --- And the disciples were first called Christians in Antioch".
We are Christians because we are disciples of Christ, not because we are adherents of any denomination. Consider the following verses:
1 Corinthians 1:10 - 13 - "10 Now I plead with you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment.
11 For it has been declared to me concerning you, my brethren, by those of Chloe's household, that there are contentions among you.
12 Now I say this, that each of you says, "I am of Paul," or "I am of Apollos," or "I am of Cephas," or "I am of Christ."
13 Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Or were you baptized in the name of Paul?"
James 3:13 - 18 "13 Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom.
14 But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth.
15 This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic.
16 For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there.
17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy.
18 Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace."
The issue of denominations came in after Christianity degenerated into a religion from being a question of Faith, Discipleship and a Way of Life.
Before we get into deciding which denomination is the right one and which denomination should I seek my partner/friends/companions from, let us decide whether having a denomination is the right and Biblical thing or should we rather work to demolish these barriers that satan has brought up between us and decieved us into adhering so firmly.
aksd

 

[jiggyfly]

I honestly would not want a spouse who was in lock step with me on all such issues. I firmly agree with the anonymous writer who said that if two people agree on everything all the time, one of them is unnecessary.

SLE

Ecellent point SLE

 

[jiggyfly]

There has been quite a lively discussion on this topic, and I would like to add some myself, but at a different angle.
Are denominations Biblical in the first place? If God's Word does not sanction or justify denominations, is it worthwhile holding on to them so tenaciously, going to the extent of marring our mutual relationships or married life.
I am with rizen1 and others who stay away from denominations. I know for myself that I am saved not because of my denomination (was born and brought up in a Baptist family) but because of my faith.
The Book of Acts - the history of the first Church, that sets out for us the giuiding practices and pitfalls for the body of Christ (and the rest of the New Testamant) nowhere mentions Christianity as a religion. Acts refers to Christainity as "The Way", and to Christains as "People of The Way". It is in Acts 11:26 that the word "Christian" is first used - " --- And the disciples were first called Christians in Antioch".
We are Christians because we are disciples of Christ, not because we are adherents of any denomination. Consider the following verses:
1 Corinthians 1:10 - 13 - "10 Now I plead with you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment.
11 For it has been declared to me concerning you, my brethren, by those of Chloe's household, that there are contentions among you.
12 Now I say this, that each of you says, "I am of Paul," or "I am of Apollos," or "I am of Cephas," or "I am of Christ."
13 Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Or were you baptized in the name of Paul?"
James 3:13 - 18 "13 Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom.
14 But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth.
15 This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic.
16 For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there.
17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy.
18 Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace."
The issue of denominations came in after Christianity degenerated into a religion from being a question of Faith, Discipleship and a Way of Life.
Before we get into deciding which denomination is the right one and which denomination should I seek my partner/friends/companions from, let us decide whether having a denomination is the right and Biblical thing or should we rather work to demolish these barriers that satan has brought up between us and decieved us into adhering so firmly.
aksd

Hallelujah!!! Excellent post Aksd, I feel the HolyGhost in every word, Mungu akubariki ( God bless you)

 

[Truedawn]

I think that it is vital for both the man and woman to be totally in love with Jesus before moving forward in any relationship.

Denominations in my mind can be sticky. Lots of man-made stuff, but often very good solid stuff based on the Bible (our source as Christains for truth).

I can tell you my hubby's and my story....

I was non-denominational, solid in my faith and plugged into my church for a number of years. And Chrismatic for sure.

My hubby was Reformed Pres. (PCA), solid in his faith and plugged into his church for a number of years. Not Chrismatic for sure.

Both of us served at our churches, desired to grow in the Lord all the days of our life.

We met at a Christain coffee house. And found that we had some mutual friends in the Christain single circles of our city. It took a month before we could have a first day because we were so commited in our churches. (doesn't sound too balanced now as I write - but I think right where the Lord wanted us).

We had lots and lots of talks on Jesus, the Bible, the Holy Spirit and even had Bible wars (yes, I said Bible wars) while courting - we quit dating after three dates. I found my "beau" to be a most wonderful Christian man. I had written a list of what I was praying for after a bad relationship. And one of the main things was for him to really be in love with Jesus. My hubby was really into the Word back then and Praise the Lord is really into the Word now as well. And because of the Lord and my dear husband,I know a ton about God's word now. That I did not know back then. A TON. Praise the Lord. My husband is right on the Holy Spirit leading us in the current times now. And His prayers are so Holy Spirit led. Praise the Lord.

For us the Lord used my husband to sharpen me and me him. It is an amazing marriage that we have. Jesus is the center of it - has been from the beginning. Even when we were dating, if we got into "spiritual battles" we'd say okay let's go back to the common ground - we both Really love Jesus and are His.

Now I will tell you that it was not always easy and a tough road to walk at times. We both had a lot of changes in our lives. And drew closer to the Lord and His Truth because of it. We are well balanced now married 11 years just last week. I thank God for my husband. He is an incredible man. I prayed for my husband that I didn't know when I was single. I believe that the Lord answered those prayers and then more.

So there is my story - tried to make it short but boy o boy I might have used up my word limit.

Most importanly in this - Pray. Talk to our Heavenly Father - what does He have for you? Oh and look at the fruit produced by the "tree" that you're considering. Is it good fruit being produced in that life?

Blessings,
T:butterfly

p.s. we now are members of a BGC church - not what we would have guessed years ago. But it is solid in the Lord, His Word and the Holy Spirit. God works in great ways. Praise Him!