Hi everyone, need some advice,
I am separated, have been since June. My “husband” has done some criminal things which led to this permanent separation/pending divorce. He has “tried” to cheat on me in the past, though now I believe that it was only that he got caught “trying” but had actually cheated on me throughout our 10 year marriage and just wasn’t “caught”. At first, even with criminal charges pending (assault on a minor, 5 counts) I had Pastors and other Christians tell me that divorce is wrong.:shock: I really believe that I have to protect my children, and besides as I have since been told, adultery is a reason for divorce allowed by Christ himself and with my more complicated issue, I would be crazy NOT to divorce. I am getting over the “guilt” I was feeling as far as trying to do what God desires, balanced by what is right to protect my kids. Anyway, I have finally scrounged the money to get the divorce officially started. He will be served in the next 2 days.
My dilemma is that I have since June been going to a new church. I have new friends, new school for the kids. I still don’t know a lot of people, or not very well. There is a gentleman (Max) at this church who has been extremely helpful with the kids and things while we are at church. He especially likes the baby and enjoys holding her. I don’t know him very well, just our brief hellos at church. I would like to get to know him better, esp. since he is “close” to my kids, or at least the baby. (he is single, divorced himself and is a bit older than me, but not sure by how much, he has a 2 years old granddaughter, but my cousin was a grandmother at 36, so that doesn’t say too much, I’m 35, I would guess he would be 40-45)
Is it wrong to try to have lunch with him, or talk on the phone, or meet for coffee sometime? I don’t want to give the wrong impression, to my kids or anyone else, including Max. My intent is not to “pursue a relation” but to become friends. Any advice on what to do? Before it is asked, perhaps down the line, I may want to “pursue a relationship” but at this point, I am not interested in any man in that way. Once bitten, twice shy, perhaps. Any thoughts are appreciated.
Torie
I am separated, have been since June. My “husband” has done some criminal things which led to this permanent separation/pending divorce. He has “tried” to cheat on me in the past, though now I believe that it was only that he got caught “trying” but had actually cheated on me throughout our 10 year marriage and just wasn’t “caught”. At first, even with criminal charges pending (assault on a minor, 5 counts) I had Pastors and other Christians tell me that divorce is wrong.:shock: I really believe that I have to protect my children, and besides as I have since been told, adultery is a reason for divorce allowed by Christ himself and with my more complicated issue, I would be crazy NOT to divorce. I am getting over the “guilt” I was feeling as far as trying to do what God desires, balanced by what is right to protect my kids. Anyway, I have finally scrounged the money to get the divorce officially started. He will be served in the next 2 days.
My dilemma is that I have since June been going to a new church. I have new friends, new school for the kids. I still don’t know a lot of people, or not very well. There is a gentleman (Max) at this church who has been extremely helpful with the kids and things while we are at church. He especially likes the baby and enjoys holding her. I don’t know him very well, just our brief hellos at church. I would like to get to know him better, esp. since he is “close” to my kids, or at least the baby. (he is single, divorced himself and is a bit older than me, but not sure by how much, he has a 2 years old granddaughter, but my cousin was a grandmother at 36, so that doesn’t say too much, I’m 35, I would guess he would be 40-45)
Is it wrong to try to have lunch with him, or talk on the phone, or meet for coffee sometime? I don’t want to give the wrong impression, to my kids or anyone else, including Max. My intent is not to “pursue a relation” but to become friends. Any advice on what to do? Before it is asked, perhaps down the line, I may want to “pursue a relationship” but at this point, I am not interested in any man in that way. Once bitten, twice shy, perhaps. Any thoughts are appreciated.
Torie
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