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Religious One-Upmanship
by Ralph I. Tilley
During the days of our Lord's ministry on earth, He frequently observed the religious proud displaying their spiritual arrogance: religious one-upmanship. These were leaders who "were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else" (Luke 18:9).
It's impossible to be spiritually proud without at the same time "looking down" on others. The comparison game is played frequently by such people. A Rabbi was heard offering this prayer: "I thank Thee, 0 Lord my God, that Thou hast put my part with those who sit in the Academy, and not with those who sit at the street-corners. For I rise early, and they rise early; I rise early to the words of the law, and they to vain things. I labor, they labor; I labor and receive a reward, and they labor and receive no reward. I run, and they run; I run to the life of the world to come, and they to the pit of destruction." It is recorded that Rabbi Simeon ben Jocai once said, "If there are only two righteous men in the world, I and my son are these; if there is only one, I am he!"
Our reaction? "That's extreme! I'm not guilty of anything of the kind!" Are you sure? Haven't we all, at one time or another, played this carnal game of one-upmanship?
The Pharisee in Jesus' parable prays, "I thank you that I am not like other men . . . even like this man." When playing the comparison game, the primary player always ends up being the winner. For he always perceives himself to be superior (at least on the specific point of comparison) to the object of comparison.
How often we fall into this futile game in the church. We have our own artificial, man-made standards for judging what we think is deep spirituality, or success, or right. We compare everyone else in the church with our self-constructed and self-constituted criteria. Whether the points of comparison are statistics, spiritual gifts, or ethical scruples, we end up on top (in our own minds at least). Why? Because the ego-scales are always tipped in our self-righteous direction.
The renowned Scottish scholar William Barclay shares the following insight. "Once I made a journey by train to England. As we passed through the Yorkshire moors I saw a little whitewashed cottage and it seemed to me to shine with almost radiant whiteness. Some days later I made the journey back to Scotland. The snow had fallen and was lying deep all around. We came again to the little white cottage, but this time its whiteness seemed drab and soiled and almost gray in comparison with the virgin whiteness of the driven snow." And then Barclay ob- serves: "It all depends what we compare ourselves with."
In Jesus' parable, the tax collector went home approved because in comparing himself to God he acknowledged his own sinfulness and cried out for mercy. The Pharisee left "church" condemned, because he considered himself superior to a fellow worshiper.
It's always possible to compare ourselves to the other person and come away feeling good about ourselves. However, we can never kneel and look into the face of Jesus and walk away feeling snobbish and self-assured. The cross is only for dying--not strutting.
How can Christians avoid this religious, ego-snare of one-upmanship? Permit me to offer these suggestions:
Stay at the foot of the cross. In doing so, our prayer will always be that of Isaac Watts: "Forbid it, Lord, that I should boast, save in the death of Christ, my God."
Live for God's approval, not man's. This is not to suggest that man's commendations should go unappreciated. But we don't seek them; we don't live for them; we don't glory in them.
Be grateful, not proud. If God has seen fit to bless you with His gracious gifts, be thankful. Don't allow His gifts to become comparison points with your brothers and sisters in Christ.
Don't draw unnecessary attention to yourself. If you have received a measure of God's blessing to a larger degree than some others, don't advertise it. That's not your business. "For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled . . ."
Perhaps we could all pray this prayer: My Lord, too often I have elevated myself in my own eyes, and in the eyes of others, by thinking myself better than my fellow servant. Too often I have sold myself for more than my worth. Too often I have sought man's honor, with little regard for Your honor. Too often I have been preoccupied with who was first and best. Have mercy on me, 0 Lord. I beseech You to cleanse this unworthy heart from every vain desire that seeks self-recognition and self-applause. Forgive me for ever making vain comparisons with my fellow servants. Amen.
by Ralph I. Tilley
During the days of our Lord's ministry on earth, He frequently observed the religious proud displaying their spiritual arrogance: religious one-upmanship. These were leaders who "were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else" (Luke 18:9).
It's impossible to be spiritually proud without at the same time "looking down" on others. The comparison game is played frequently by such people. A Rabbi was heard offering this prayer: "I thank Thee, 0 Lord my God, that Thou hast put my part with those who sit in the Academy, and not with those who sit at the street-corners. For I rise early, and they rise early; I rise early to the words of the law, and they to vain things. I labor, they labor; I labor and receive a reward, and they labor and receive no reward. I run, and they run; I run to the life of the world to come, and they to the pit of destruction." It is recorded that Rabbi Simeon ben Jocai once said, "If there are only two righteous men in the world, I and my son are these; if there is only one, I am he!"
Our reaction? "That's extreme! I'm not guilty of anything of the kind!" Are you sure? Haven't we all, at one time or another, played this carnal game of one-upmanship?
The Pharisee in Jesus' parable prays, "I thank you that I am not like other men . . . even like this man." When playing the comparison game, the primary player always ends up being the winner. For he always perceives himself to be superior (at least on the specific point of comparison) to the object of comparison.
How often we fall into this futile game in the church. We have our own artificial, man-made standards for judging what we think is deep spirituality, or success, or right. We compare everyone else in the church with our self-constructed and self-constituted criteria. Whether the points of comparison are statistics, spiritual gifts, or ethical scruples, we end up on top (in our own minds at least). Why? Because the ego-scales are always tipped in our self-righteous direction.
The renowned Scottish scholar William Barclay shares the following insight. "Once I made a journey by train to England. As we passed through the Yorkshire moors I saw a little whitewashed cottage and it seemed to me to shine with almost radiant whiteness. Some days later I made the journey back to Scotland. The snow had fallen and was lying deep all around. We came again to the little white cottage, but this time its whiteness seemed drab and soiled and almost gray in comparison with the virgin whiteness of the driven snow." And then Barclay ob- serves: "It all depends what we compare ourselves with."
In Jesus' parable, the tax collector went home approved because in comparing himself to God he acknowledged his own sinfulness and cried out for mercy. The Pharisee left "church" condemned, because he considered himself superior to a fellow worshiper.
It's always possible to compare ourselves to the other person and come away feeling good about ourselves. However, we can never kneel and look into the face of Jesus and walk away feeling snobbish and self-assured. The cross is only for dying--not strutting.
How can Christians avoid this religious, ego-snare of one-upmanship? Permit me to offer these suggestions:
Stay at the foot of the cross. In doing so, our prayer will always be that of Isaac Watts: "Forbid it, Lord, that I should boast, save in the death of Christ, my God."
Live for God's approval, not man's. This is not to suggest that man's commendations should go unappreciated. But we don't seek them; we don't live for them; we don't glory in them.
Be grateful, not proud. If God has seen fit to bless you with His gracious gifts, be thankful. Don't allow His gifts to become comparison points with your brothers and sisters in Christ.
Don't draw unnecessary attention to yourself. If you have received a measure of God's blessing to a larger degree than some others, don't advertise it. That's not your business. "For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled . . ."
Perhaps we could all pray this prayer: My Lord, too often I have elevated myself in my own eyes, and in the eyes of others, by thinking myself better than my fellow servant. Too often I have sold myself for more than my worth. Too often I have sought man's honor, with little regard for Your honor. Too often I have been preoccupied with who was first and best. Have mercy on me, 0 Lord. I beseech You to cleanse this unworthy heart from every vain desire that seeks self-recognition and self-applause. Forgive me for ever making vain comparisons with my fellow servants. Amen.
