Scared to go back!

[Sucat]

Oh, why am I scared to go back? Is it because of the reaction I keep getting? Every time I go I get this ache in my stomach. All the people are so happy but why do I feel there is no reaching out to others; and when I do reach out there is an apathy or just a plain, "You have your way and we have our's."

Woodcrest Baptist Church.
A friendly little church with old Puritan ways. Simple, old-fashioned style--good, pure, home-like---right? Smiles everywhere... a kindly, "You are welcome to visit anytime." A dream Church...right? Women always wearing dresses and are always sweet. King James Bible only. All the young men in ties and suits. Gentleman. Small enough where everybody knows everybody very well---Old Puritan Village style. Why am I scared to go back?

I see everything is soooo perfect. But there are two things that concern me: Ignorance and a lack of passion for Christ. Why are the people there so unconcerned in their little "holy clique"? Why do I see a failure to reach out to others in the world? Where is that unique passion and love for Christ? Where is that sincere burning desire? I do like this young man who goes there. He is so sweet yet I see ignorance. On one of the occasions that I went to church there, I went up to this young man's parents and handed to them a CD about witnessing and about how to get on fire for Christ. Me and my brother with HUGE smiles said, "Oh, please listen to this." We got from both of them a, "Sorry, we're really busy." But they took it. However, as we both left, his parents and other parents all began laughing and snickering. Saying with mock, "OH, can I have a CD too?" That was traumatic. I mean, here we are sincerely trying to help people.

I mention drums and contemporary music and they think I've gone liberal.

Now I am invited to a Christmas festivity coming up. I'm scared to go back. Everything I do is meaningless there. It seems as if all my efforts have been in vain. But I care so much for the people in this Church. OH, to see them with understanding and with a passion in their hearts!!!! Yet, I know God is sayin', "Don't lose heart in doing good; for in due time you will reap if you don't grow weary!" I guess I'll go back. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I should do now. How should I help people of this sort. I've been pray'in like crazy for them. How should I talk to them?


Sucat

 

[lll3]

Sucat,
I have walked in your shoes and down that exact same road. I hear you, Sis'. I was raised in a small community in the country and attended the Baptist Church there (the only Church). Generations of the founders of the community carry on the age-old traditions. Very clique-ish. I was baptized in the Holy Ghost at some friends house who live in this community. There are several of us "tongue talking weirdos" who meet ocassionally there and fellowship. The locals talk about us and it isn't very flattering. Don't distress. Go to that Church and bring the Holy Spirit with you. If you want to close your eyes and raise your hands in praise, do it! Keep praying for them!

 

[SpiritLedEd]

Oh, why am I scared to go back? Is it because of the reaction I keep getting? Every time I go I get this ache in my stomach. All the people are so happy but why do I feel there is no reaching out to others; and when I do reach out there is an apathy or just a plain, "You have your way and we have our's."

Woodcrest Baptist Church.
A friendly little church with old Puritan ways. Simple, old-fashioned style--good, pure, home-like---right? Smiles everywhere... a kindly, "You are welcome to visit anytime." A dream Church...right? Women always wearing dresses and are always sweet. King James Bible only. All the young men in ties and suits. Gentleman. Small enough where everybody knows everybody very well---Old Puritan Village style. Why am I scared to go back?

I see everything is soooo perfect. But there are two things that concern me: Ignorance and a lack of passion for Christ. Why are the people there so unconcerned in their little "holy clique"? Why do I see a failure to reach out to others in the world? Where is that unique passion and love for Christ? Where is that sincere burning desire? I do like this young man who goes there. He is so sweet yet I see ignorance. On one of the occasions that I went to church there, I went up to this young man's parents and handed to them a CD about witnessing and about how to get on fire for Christ. Me and my brother with HUGE smiles said, "Oh, please listen to this." We got from both of them a, "Sorry, we're really busy." But they took it. However, as we both left, his parents and other parents all began laughing and snickering. Saying with mock, "OH, can I have a CD too?" That was traumatic. I mean, here we are sincerely trying to help people.

I mention drums and contemporary music and they think I've gone liberal.

Now I am invited to a Christmas festivity coming up. I'm scared to go back. Everything I do is meaningless there. It seems as if all my efforts have been in vain. But I care so much for the people in this Church. OH, to see them with understanding and with a passion in their hearts!!!! Yet, I know God is sayin', "Don't lose heart in doing good; for in due time you will reap if you don't grow weary!" I guess I'll go back. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I should do now. How should I help people of this sort. I've been pray'in like crazy for them. How should I talk to them?


Sucat

I suspect that the gut level fear you feel is a message from God saying that that is not where he wants you to worship. It appears that those folks have a very smug little religiosity community there.

Your post reminds me of a joke I heard some years ago. God and a sinner were walking side by side down the street one day when they came upon a church building. The sinner looked at the building and sighed, "They won't let me in there." God replied, "Don't feel bad, friend, I'm not allowed in there
either!"

Keep on loving those folks, but love them from a distance.

 

[vagabond]

The word is nigh thee, even in thy mouth, and in thy heart: that is, the word of faith, which we preach;it is written;He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water.and again:
And it shall come to pass, that every thing that liveth, which moveth, whithersoever the rivers shall come, shall live: simply yield to the waters of his spirit

 

[Chad]

Does sound like the "wrong" place to be. Let the Holy Spirit convict you before any man. I can only speak of my church and tell you that the one I attend is free and praise, a great place.

Have you considered finding a new church? Let GOD guide you in all your steps sister. You still always will have GOD, His Word and your Salvation. You also have us all here at Talk Jesus

 

[Yeshua]

In him...

Do good works in his strength and not yours. Keep your focus on him and not the problems.

Oh, why am I scared to go back? Is it because of the reaction I keep getting? Every time I go I get this ache in my stomach. All the people are so happy but why do I feel there is no reaching out to others; and when I do reach out there is an apathy or just a plain, "You have your way and we have our's."
Woodcrest Baptist Church.
A friendly little church with old Puritan ways. Simple, old-fashioned style--good, pure, home-like---right? Smiles everywhere... a kindly, "You are welcome to visit anytime." A dream Church...right? Women always wearing dresses and are always sweet. King James Bible only. All the young men in ties and suits. Gentleman. Small enough where everybody knows everybody very well---Old Puritan Village style. Why am I scared to go back?
I see everything is soooo perfect. But there are two things that concern me: Ignorance and a lack of passion for Christ. Why are the people there so unconcerned in their little "holy clique"? Why do I see a failure to reach out to others in the world? Where is that unique passion and love for Christ? Where is that sincere burning desire? I do like this young man who goes there. He is so sweet yet I see ignorance. On one of the occasions that I went to church there, I went up to this young man's parents and handed to them a CD about witnessing and about how to get on fire for Christ. Me and my brother with HUGE smiles said, "Oh, please listen to this." We got from both of them a, "Sorry, we're really busy." But they took it. However, as we both left, his parents and other parents all began laughing and snickering. Saying with mock, "OH, can I have a CD too?" That was traumatic. I mean, here we are sincerely trying to help people.
I mention drums and contemporary music and they think I've gone liberal.
Now I am invited to a Christmas festivity coming up. I'm scared to go back. Everything I do is meaningless there. It seems as if all my efforts have been in vain. But I care so much for the people in this Church. OH, to see them with understanding and with a passion in their hearts!!!! Yet, I know God is sayin', "Don't lose heart in doing good; for in due time you will reap if you don't grow weary!" I guess I'll go back. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I should do now. How should I help people of this sort. I've been pray'in like crazy for them. How should I talk to them?
Sucat

 

[fightngwrmwood]

curious

Hey Sucat,

Your description fits a little church I attended a few years back. I was just wondering what you wound up doing?
(if you don't mind posting it.) No worries if it is still something you are praying about.

:icon_wink:
fww

 

[Jonah2005]

Oh, why am I scared to go back? Is it because of the reaction I keep getting? Every time I go I get this ache in my stomach. All the people are so happy but why do I feel there is no reaching out to others; and when I do reach out there is an apathy or just a plain, "You have your way and we have our's."
Woodcrest Baptist Church.
A friendly little church with old Puritan ways. Simple, old-fashioned style--good, pure, home-like---right? Smiles everywhere... a kindly, "You are welcome to visit anytime." A dream Church...right? Women always wearing dresses and are always sweet. King James Bible only. All the young men in ties and suits. Gentleman. Small enough where everybody knows everybody very well---Old Puritan Village style. Why am I scared to go back?
I see everything is soooo perfect. But there are two things that concern me: Ignorance and a lack of passion for Christ. Why are the people there so unconcerned in their little "holy clique"? Why do I see a failure to reach out to others in the world? Where is that unique passion and love for Christ? Where is that sincere burning desire? I do like this young man who goes there. He is so sweet yet I see ignorance. On one of the occasions that I went to church there, I went up to this young man's parents and handed to them a CD about witnessing and about how to get on fire for Christ. Me and my brother with HUGE smiles said, "Oh, please listen to this." We got from both of them a, "Sorry, we're really busy." But they took it. However, as we both left, his parents and other parents all began laughing and snickering. Saying with mock, "OH, can I have a CD too?" That was traumatic. I mean, here we are sincerely trying to help people.
I mention drums and contemporary music and they think I've gone liberal.
Now I am invited to a Christmas festivity coming up. I'm scared to go back. Everything I do is meaningless there. It seems as if all my efforts have been in vain. But I care so much for the people in this Church. OH, to see them with understanding and with a passion in their hearts!!!! Yet, I know God is sayin', "Don't lose heart in doing good; for in due time you will reap if you don't grow weary!" I guess I'll go back. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I should do now. How should I help people of this sort. I've been pray'in like crazy for them. How should I talk to them?
Sucat

Dear Sucat, I have learned that setting examples can be one of the most powerful tools we can use. As long as the examples we are setting are the examples The Almighy GOD & Christ Jesus set for us to live by. Remembering too, that we need not worry so much about the actions of what others may say & do, {no matter how much our feelings get hurt} but be more concern with our own actions. For The Almighty GOD watches us all & knows what's in all our hearts. Continue, to go to HIM in prayer, HE soon will help you to understand & HE will give you even more strength of encouragement & HE will guide you through it all. *If you would please, read Ezekiel 3:1-11 & tell me what message do you get from this scripture. *genesis!
Ezekiel 3:1-11
1. Moreover He said to me, "Son of man, eat what you find; eat this scroll, and go, speak to the house of Israel.''
2. So I opened my mouth, and He caused me to eat that scroll.
3. And He said to me, "Son of man, feed your belly, and fill your stomach with this scroll that I give you.'' So I ate it, and it was in my mouth like honey in sweetness.
4. And He said to me: "Son of man, go to the house of Israel and speak with My words to them.
5. "For you are not sent to a people of unfamiliar speech and of hard language, but to the house of Israel,
6. "not to many people of unfamiliar speech and of hard language, whose words you cannot understand. Surely, had I sent you to them, they would have listened to you.
7. "But the house of Israel will not listen to you, because they will not listen to Me; for all the house of Israel are impudent and hard-hearted.
8. "Behold, I have made your face strong against their faces, and your forehead strong against their foreheads.
9. "Like adamant stone, harder than flint, I have made your forehead; do not be afraid of them, nor be dismayed at their looks, though they are a rebellious house.''
10. Moreover He said to me: "Son of man, receive into your heart all My words that I speak to you, and hear with your ears.
11. "And go, get to the captives, to the children of your people, and speak to them and tell them, `Thus says the Lord God,' whether they hear, or whether they refuse.''
Psalms 37:23 The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, And He delights in his way.
Jeremiah 10:23
23 I know, O LORD, that a man's life is not his own;
it is not for man to direct his steps.

 

[Dippy]

I really hope that this situation has been resolved. I have encountered a similar gut feeling - everytime I entered I thought I would faint. I have since changed churches and feel like a whole new lease of life has taken over me. I am free to be with my faith and don't have any worries or concerns while I am in church. Now I know I am in the right place!

For me, the breakthrough of realising that in my new church I don't think of anything other than my faith was the decider.

 

[Sucat]

Ok, I tell ya what happened.

Hey Sucat,
Your description fits a little church I attended a few years back. I was just wondering what you wound up doing?
(if you don't mind posting it.) No worries if it is still something you are praying about.
:icon_wink:
fww

Well, I did go back--twice. The ache was still there but I went anyway. We (my brother and I) had a small conversation with one of the pastors, explaining to him our concerns with great encouragement-- helping him to understand with our lovely smiles. He gulped hard. He said with uneasiness, "So you thought there was something missing in my sermon?" "Uh, well, yes...to be honest", I said. We encouraged him to listen to a CD on witnessing.
For some unknown reason, afterward I exploded with laughter and joy. I just wanted so bad to get it off my chest--this desire to see the chruch informed. I don't know....but I leaped for joy afterward. My reasoning was, "If I could only tell one person...maybe, just maybe the Holy Spirit might work through the preaching of this man." The problem of the church is that it is completely in a slumber...inactive and uninformed. It's nothing more than a religious church. Don't get me wrong....there are passionate Christians there....but ah, so few.

I forgot to mention one thing. I work with these people! One of the church members owns a small business. Many young teens work there from the church. So I get to talk with these people and see what they're like. The teens are absolutely clueless. This is what scares me the most. There is this guy who works there. Everybody knows he plans to be a youth pastor and has set his goals to see to it that he lives it out. However, when I talk to him...there is no passion, no deep concern coming out of him for others in his life. In other words, he is still a baby convert who needs the milk of the Word. How does he plan to teach others when he needs to be taught himself? The church lacks a challenging. There is no one to say, "Hey, how is your Spiritual life? Are you in the Word? Are you devoted to prayer?" And it's not like I'm say'in that I'm more spiritual or anything of that sort. This is not out of pride but concern. I've been check'in my motives and pray'in like crazy. I just care alot.

Mostly, this young man who goes there. I care for him so much. His parents were so cold to me. Its like, "Are you too busy for God?" This young man...he ignored me the last time I went. I gave him a Christmas card...encouraging him in the Faith. He ignored me and never said anything afterward.

Why does this make me want to cry?


Sucat

 

[fightngwrmwood]

Nice!

Hi Sucat,

Thanks so much for posting! Seems like the thing with the pastor went well and I am so glad you were about to be truthful about where you were at. Maybe that will be an opportunity for change and growth for everyone, maybe just for you, but the fact that you were honest, when it was uncomfortable and scary - you spoke the truth in love - that's the stuff!

(Eph 4:12 The things done in secret are shameful even to speak of; but anything shown up by the light will be illuminated and anything illuminated is itself a light. That is why it is said: Wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.)

The reason I say it may just be for you is that sometimes you gotta just dust your feet, but- the fact that you work with these people... Oh I don't know Sister I am just so happy that you were truthful when it was hard. Outcomes are another thing altogether. I hope you post updates - or keep me posted somehow. I'm curious to see what He does.

As far as the young pastor to be, that is sad. But he is young! I am sure people looked at me when I was younger and would never have guessed God could do such a work in my life. It's trickier with the "churched" though. You use the same words but they don't mean the same thing - boy am I learning about that.

Yeah and then you think - geesh, am I like that? Lord? Sucat, I hear ya.

I'll be praying - I am in a similar boat with a friend coming to visit. We have got to have some frank conversations and this little voice sometimes says, who do you think you are? (My friend, she's in a bad spot and I was in similar shoes 13 years ago. She looks up to me. And even though I know God wants me to be in that sort of - leadership role- I am not real - okay I'm not at all comfortable with that. Anyway, I digress- I wanted to respond to YOU!)

So it sounds like with this young pastor, beyond praying there is not much you can do. But I know that God is planting these things in your heart ! Stirring up truth, giving you vision! Yay! So I'll be praying that God makes it very clear where your ministry is to be. And that some young women cross your path too - unless there is more to this story? Again, hope to hear more updates!

And about the young man. Of course you want to cry. No acknowledgement. You take a risk and reach out are treated like you are some kind of thing to stay away from. There I say dust your feet for sure. I know you care very much but - I don't even know you and I can tell you have a big heart and hey - you are His daughter, queen to be! You have let him know you care now you hold your head up. Maybe he needs time, maybe he is blind, whatever - as amazing a man he may be, guess what? You are amazing too sweet sister. And if he can't see that, then he may not need to.

All right, enough outa me. So good to hear what's going on. Let me know more when you can!

fightingWormwood

PS - Was praying about this and wanted to say one more thing. You asked about crying - do it. Amazing children of God, when treated badly, should definately have a good cry.

 

[SpiritLedEd]

Well, I did go back--twice. The ache was still there but I went anyway. We (my brother and I) had a small conversation with one of the pastors, explaining to him our concerns with great encouragement-- helping him to understand with our lovely smiles. He gulped hard. He said with uneasiness, "So you thought there was something missing in my sermon?" "Uh, well, yes...to be honest", I said. We encouraged him to listen to a CD on witnessing.
For some unknown reason, afterward I exploded with laughter and joy. I just wanted so bad to get it off my chest--this desire to see the chruch informed. I don't know....but I leaped for joy afterward. My reasoning was, "If I could only tell one person...maybe, just maybe the Holy Spirit might work through the preaching of this man." The problem of the church is that it is completely in a slumber...inactive and uninformed. It's nothing more than a religious church. Don't get me wrong....there are passionate Christians there....but ah, so few.

I forgot to mention one thing. I work with these people! One of the church members owns a small business. Many young teens work there from the church. So I get to talk with these people and see what they're like. The teens are absolutely clueless. This is what scares me the most. There is this guy who works there. Everybody knows he plans to be a youth pastor and has set his goals to see to it that he lives it out. However, when I talk to him...there is no passion, no deep concern coming out of him for others in his life. In other words, he is still a baby convert who needs the milk of the Word. How does he plan to teach others when he needs to be taught himself? The church lacks a challenging. There is no one to say, "Hey, how is your Spiritual life? Are you in the Word? Are you devoted to prayer?" And it's not like I'm say'in that I'm more spiritual or anything of that sort. This is not out of pride but concern. I've been check'in my motives and pray'in like crazy. I just care alot.

Mostly, this young man who goes there. I care for him so much. His parents were so cold to me. Its like, "Are you too busy for God?" This young man...he ignored me the last time I went. I gave him a Christmas card...encouraging him in the Faith. He ignored me and never said anything afterward.

Why does this make me want to cry?


Sucat

Sucat: It makes you want to cry for one simple, glorious reason: you have Jesus' heart for the lost. Perhaps you shouyld contact the other true believers in that congregation and set up a small group with the members praying as a group for the Holy Spirit to come and break the bondage that is there.

SLE

 

[fightngwrmwood]

Good point, SpiritLed Ed. She does!

I'll be praying for His guidance for you, Sucat. Look forward to hearing more updates.

fww

 

[Sucat]

Wow, thanks.

Wow, you guys--thanks so much.

You have no idea how encouraging it is to read your words. I think if it were'nt for Talk Jesus and all the people here---I probably would have slumped into a state of depression. It is incredibly rare to hear encouragement.

Anyway, you guys are right! This youth-pastor-to-be, God can change him. The Holy Spirit can help him understand and give him that needed desire for the lost. Yes, God can! That's why I'm pray'in for him earnestly. Even now, I cry that God will place into this guy's heart a love for HIM and others. And for the young man, that God would give him a passion and a desire to reach out to others. God has given me a grand priviledge---to help spread the Gospel and to help others understand the whole counsel of God. Yes, but I'm nothing great. I'm only another wicked sinner who desires to help others see what God has helped me see! No credit is to me! All to HIM!

As far as the church goes...I will continue in prayer.

I actually have spoken to a young woman who use to go to the church and was recently working at Kopak Packaging Company (where I and others from the church work). She use to go to school at the Academy there (Woodcrest Baptist Church is also a school and Academy--a very small one). She was kicked out and led a life of rebellion and drugs. She was into Meth and struggled horribly. Family and friends took her to Minnesota Teen Challenge--where experienced Christians cleaned her up and preached to her in love. Telling her to repent and trust in Christ and getting her saved. She recently just finished the program she was in and began working at Kopak. I had the awesome priviledge to speak with her and build her up in the Faith. OH, never before had I seen such love for God, such passion, and such struggle in her life. She and I, with a passion in our hearts, cried out together, "What's a conversation anyway when it doesn't include our Saviour in it?!!" She told me how the cravings for drugs still haunted her and I told her I'd pray for her. For Christmas I gave her a Way Of The Master DVD. She received it with gratitude. She currently goes to Bethlehem Baptist--a church I will attend off and on. I praise God for her love and passion for Christ. Oh, to only see it in more people!!!!!


Sucat

 

[Sucat]

Dear Sucat, I have learned that setting examples can be one of the most powerful tools we can use. As long as the examples we are setting are the examples The Almighy GOD & Christ Jesus set for us to live by. Remembering too, that we need not worry so much about the actions of what others may say & do, {no matter how much our feelings get hurt} but be more concern with our own actions. For The Almighty GOD watches us all & knows what's in all our hearts. Continue, to go to HIM in prayer, HE soon will help you to understand & HE will give you even more strength of encouragement & HE will guide you through it all. *If you would please, read Ezekiel 3:1-11 & tell me what message do you get from this scripture. *genesis!
Ezekiel 3:1-11
1. Moreover He said to me, "Son of man, eat what you find; eat this scroll, and go, speak to the house of Israel.''
2. So I opened my mouth, and He caused me to eat that scroll.
3. And He said to me, "Son of man, feed your belly, and fill your stomach with this scroll that I give you.'' So I ate it, and it was in my mouth like honey in sweetness.
4. And He said to me: "Son of man, go to the house of Israel and speak with My words to them.
5. "For you are not sent to a people of unfamiliar speech and of hard language, but to the house of Israel,
6. "not to many people of unfamiliar speech and of hard language, whose words you cannot understand. Surely, had I sent you to them, they would have listened to you.
7. "But the house of Israel will not listen to you, because they will not listen to Me; for all the house of Israel are impudent and hard-hearted.
8. "Behold, I have made your face strong against their faces, and your forehead strong against their foreheads.
9. "Like adamant stone, harder than flint, I have made your forehead; do not be afraid of them, nor be dismayed at their looks, though they are a rebellious house.''
10. Moreover He said to me: "Son of man, receive into your heart all My words that I speak to you, and hear with your ears.
11. "And go, get to the captives, to the children of your people, and speak to them and tell them, `Thus says the Lord God,' whether they hear, or whether they refuse.''
Psalms 37:23 The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, And He delights in his way.
Jeremiah 10:23
23 I know, O LORD, that a man's life is not his own;
it is not for man to direct his steps.

Thank you Jonah2005,

for this Scripture!

I see! Yes, God has opened our eyes and has awakened our taste buds--helping us to taste the sweetness of the Gospel. He has entrusted us with the whole counsel of God---which we must give fully out to others. But to those whom God has sent us to are our own kind. But they refuse to listen. Nevertheless, we are sent and we must try.

I remember once that I fell into a depression: "I'm tired of trying! No one listens! Anyway I'm so wicked and sinful--I'm just a hypocrite! Oh, who am I to speak? I should just shut-up for a while anyway." And so I did. I fell into apathy caring for no one. Speaking to no one. But it was Satan stopping me. Now, I can't allow myself to be like that again. I must try!!!!

Sucat

 

[fightngwrmwood]

love that enthusiasm for the Lord!

Hi Sucat,

So good to hear back so fast! I loved reading your post, the hope nearly jumps off the page.

Will be praying for those specifics, for passion for the Lord for the young pastor, for a willing heart to reach out for the young man.

It is such a gift to hear such strong, life saving testimonies from people and that you got an opportunity to connect with that lady is fantastic. It is so wonderful (and rare too unfortunatley) to have a close friendship in the Lord but it is such a blessing when you get such a gift. And yes, everything other than that seeems a waste. And it is a waste a lot of times. But then again, He's has a habit of popping up when you least expect Him! Neither of my parents are saved, and I have been praying for them for so long, but I know in my heart I don't have the faith that I should. But God has been doing stuff anyway! Sometimes when I have conversations that I think are a waste of time or don't even think about at all, fruit can comes from it because of course, He's in control. (PRAISE GOD!!!)

I'll be praying for you and those around you. - Especially with your decisions regarding that church. The main reason I encouraged you to be careful is from what I've been through when I did a study that ministered to me a lot - Experiencing God. They advise to see where God is already working and align yourself with that. And yes, I agree wholeheartedly that it doesn't so much matter whether you get hurt or not. But He may want to use you in a different way than you think. But, sister, you are seeking Him about this situation and He and you know it best.

Just want to add one more thing - we are all wicked and sinful! But we have been freed! Through Him, you do do great things. True, you can't do them, He has to work through you, but if you are in relationship with him, obeying, listening Him and seeking Him, I hope you allow yourself to see the treasure that He sees. You have a wonderful and tender heart and a love for Him, His transformative power - these are all good things! So if you start to meditate on how deep your sin is, don't forget to remember who paid the price and the love He has for YOU is why. He just loved you thiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much- and I am only using that as a weak example - there aren't enough i's in the universe to do it justice - "as surely as the array of heaven cannot be counted, nor the sand of the sea be measured" as Jeremiah might say.

Okay, I gotta get going to pray a bit. Wanted to leave you with a little bit of Psalm 144 where David shifts from seeing himself as insignficant, then asking God do mighty things. I just think that the beauty is that he did chose to use measly, no good people and He loves them so much He will do huge things and huge things WITH you. Maybe despite you, but still He's choosing you. Don't forget that.

fightingWormwood

Psalmm 144:3-10

Yahweh, what is a human being for you to notice
a child of Adam for you to think about?
Human life, a mere puff of wind,
days as fleeting as a shadow.

Yahweh, part the heavens and come down,
touch the mountains make them smoke.
Scatter them with continuous lightning-flashes,
rout them with a volley of your arrows.

Stretch down your hand from above
save me, rescue me from deep waters,
from the clutches of foreigners
whose every word is worthless
whose right hand is raised in perjury.

God, I sing to you a new song.
I play to you on the 10-stringed lyre
for you give kings their victories
you rescue your servant David.