Scripture Referral Request

[CLT]

Many people think about themselves and what they want, so when we communicate we find few people listening. To avoid this common problem, I have resorted to gently, lovingly, and politely giving bible chapters so that God will speak instead of me. However, when we truly want something, that even our mind hints us towards it, we can become blind to what God is trying to teach us.

There is a young man in my church meeting who desperately wants a wife and has been praying. His love and affection are amazing, but he applies extreme effort that is wasted and scaring decent women away - "A strong cologne can be a powerful stench."

I listened as he teasingly flirted and said very rude things. I quoted Leviticus 19 to defend myself, but Leviticus 19 hints about women and food.

My intent was - Leviticus 19 KJV

16 “‘Thou shalt not go up and down as a talebearer among thy people; neither shalt thou stand against the blood of thy neighbor: I am the Lord.
17 “‘Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thine heart. Thou shalt in any wise rebuke thy neighbor, and not let sin come upon him.
18 Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself: I am the Lord.

His perception was "woman" instead of "food" -

3 “‘And when ye shall come into the land and shall have planted all manner of trees for food, then ye shall count the fruit thereof as uncircumcised. Three years shall it be as uncircumcised unto you. It shall not be eaten of.


What chapter or versus can address his needs for both his spirit and the church without attaching me as a "wife"? (I am already dedicated to someone else)

 

[amadeus2]

I was never what one calls a "lady's man", but I have been married to my one and only wife for over 40 years. The point I would make is very simply the following verse with understanding:

(For after all these things do the Gentiles seek for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." Matt 6:33

The all of these things must include everything that is needed... including a spouse, IF God sees that one is needed. We should not be focused on doing as the Gentiles do by seeking everywhere in every available moment for the right person. Rather we should focus on the things Jesus said: 1) Seek 1st the kingdom of God; 2) Seek 1st God's righteousness. Then, and only then, will all of these thingsbe added.

---

But... forget about any additions. That is in God's territory. We should not be second guessing Him. Either He is our Lord or we are lord of ourselves. We only think we know what we need. Many of our "needs" are really "wants". God knows always exactly what is needed for each person in each situation. Unfortunately, too many people do not leave things in His hands that should be left in His hands.

 

[CLT]

Matthew 6:33 could be taken out of context in this situation. This brother is more than anxious, he is desperate, lonely, motivated, and unable to hear God. None of these emotional states are bad, I see them as a learning opportunity, but the situation may easily turn against me because this brother reads deeply into what women say.

 

[Brad Huber]

From what you stated, he doesnt sound terribly stable. Speak to your pastor or an elder about it and ask if he would speak with this man.

 

[Boanerges]

From my experience I can say the answer to most issues lay here:
Mat 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
If we seek Him above all, if we dedicate our lives to walking in union with Love, our will begins to line up with His will. It is in that place He is free to truly bless us. It is in that place where we find what we truly need. The Father will never fail to bless His children when their desires line up with His will for their lives.
In an extreme case, I know a person who so wanted a wife, and a home that he made it an idol. He became angry at God for not giving him what he wanted. The Father does not bless such activity, and will lovingly break that heart until it comes running in repentance.

 

[amadeus2]

Matthew 6:33 could be taken out of context in this situation. This brother is more than anxious, he is desperate, lonely, motivated, and unable to hear God. None of these emotional states are bad, I see them as a learning opportunity, but the situation may easily turn against me because this brother reads deeply into what women say.

Sister, he must hear God if he is to survive as even a servant of God. If he is not a servant of God, then he needs to be changed before he can proceed toward the Lord. If his flesh is more important than God then his priorities must be changed first . You and I cannot change anyone else's priorities . The world has its answers for his problem, but they are not God's answers. If he listens to the world instead of God, he is in danger of losing whatever he already has from God.

"No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon." Matt 6:24

If you speak the truth to him and he will not hear it, then perhaps you need to step back and pray for him from a distance. We can pray for him, but we cannot force feed him or anyone else with God's Word. He must consume the Word himself and then allow the Holy Spirit to bring it to Life within him. Desiring, or having, a spouse is not wrong in itself, but if it is given priority over accomplishing God's will for us, it can be very wrong. Remember that even Jesus walking in the flesh could not make those, who were doing wrong, do the right thing.

 

[Chad]

@CLT

I agree with the responses here. You can trust me in what I'm about to say. I'm divorced. Before I met my ex, I was anxious although shy at the time. When she appeared I was blindsided by my own desires and not truly seeking God nor using wisdom at that time. I fell for the wromg person, by far. It cost me much grief over 2 years.

This guy sounds like he's about to fall flat on his face if he doesn't surrender to God this area. Back up and pray for him. I agree you should share this with the pastor or elder. Don't try to fix him. No human can change another, it's never our job. We can teach but we cannot change others. The Holy Spirit does that.

 

[CLT]

Stepping back from this church brother seems to be the best option; I will take everyone's advice and let God do the work.