Should I Say Anything?

[Dreamer]

Today, I went into the nursery to care for the babies because they had no one else. There are supposed to always be 2 adults in the nursery, and if so, young teenagers may help.

I was alone with 4 pre-teens and early teen girls. One of them is my pastor's daughter. She took Jesus' name in vain several times during the hour. She used other words that I consider cussing. She took the baby toys (rocker, tractor) and went out into the hall to "ride". I told her to come back into the nursery. I should have just sent her to her mama, in the sanctuary. Her name is Madison.

Madison sings solos at church quite often. She sang a Jacqui Velasquez song just last Sunday morning. I do not see how she can get up there and croon in front of 300 people about loving Jesus and then use the language and have the behavior she showed today.

What should I do?

Sincerely,
Dreamer

 

[Fellowservant]

Pastors daughter...doesn't it seem that some pastors kids seem to be more troubled than other kids? Pray for them is all i can say, Jesus spoke of children having angels watching over them. And warned us not to offend them if they believe in him.

Peter cursed and swore as he denied Christ, but we all know God converted him, and he went on to be a great saint an apostle of Christ. So patients and love is needed with children, let God do the work in the heart, as you pray and set an example of love. Leave it in the pastors hands... its up to him to control his children.:star:

Edit: if it gets out of hand, then tell your pastor in a loving way that his child is acting up in the nursery.

God bless Sister

 

[Eve]

I can sympathise with you dreamer.

We have had a similar experience, when child of a well known and respected person within the church behaves in a way that is contrary to how someone who is supposed to be filled with the spirit is expected to behave.

My daughter, Angelwave has encountered constant put downs from a fellow Christian the past couple of years. Angelwave was feeling low from all the put downs and starting to believe what was being said to her. One day her art teacher started a drawing for Angelwave when this girl was out of the room. When the girl came back she went into her usual put down mode and started criticising what she believed to be Angelwaves art work. Angelwave smiled to herself, she didn't say anything back but she knew that the girl was in the wrong as the teacher had drawn the picture and she didn't give credence to the put downs from that point on.

Sometimes teens can be a bit rebelleous, I think that this girl that bullied Angelwave was rebelling against the rules also, sometimes kids test the boundaries a bit! The thing is that I am sure if this is her behaviour at the moment then it will have been noticed by many others and her parents are probably aware of the problem already.

Possibly a simple look of disaproval when she blasphemes maybe all this girl needs, she may be showing off infront of her friends but it doesn't impress you and it won't impress the Lord.

God Bless and good luck.

Eve

 

[billyeah]

I can't imagine being a pastors child. The pressure to be perfect must be really tough. That being said, I don't care who her parents are, her actions were awful! Personally I would take her aside and ask her why she thought it appropriate to blaspheme the name of the one who gave her the very breath she breaths. Why it's funny to take the name of the one who was tortured, bled and died for her sins, and trample it beneath her feet. This girl needs to realize that being a pastors daughter won't get her into heaven. She needs to get down on her knees, repent and get saved.

 

[MaxSeven]

Hi Dreamer, I work with our middle school ministry and let me tell you that this behavior is common even with kids who profess to know Christ as their saviour and have important roles in the church make up.

When this behavior is present I usually take the time to engage with the student and see what is going on with them at that time. Sometimes is something they are going through for that day (like eating a bad burrito) and sometimes is something a lot more difficult (like separated parents). Other times they are just not ready to talk.

After listening (very important as they want to be heard and not told) I will then give them some words of encouragement and ask them how I can pray for them.

I know this takes some of our time but the investment is worth it. If we don't become relational with them..they will just blow you off. They can very easily tell between a person who cares vs some one who just wants to impose something over them.

If the behavior is consistent after you have made the effort and prayed for them, then perhaps talking to their youth pastor or mentor would be beneficial. Usually these guys (or girls) either have been doing something about the issue already or will have better results with the student and parents due to the time they have invested with the Student.

Sorry for the long and winded answer. I hope it helps. Much Love in HIM.

 

[SpiritLedEd]

Today, I went into the nursery to care for the babies because they had no one else. There are supposed to always be 2 adults in the nursery, and if so, young teenagers may help.

I was alone with 4 pre-teens and early teen girls. One of them is my pastor's daughter. She took Jesus' name in vain several times during the hour. She used other words that I consider cussing. She took the baby toys (rocker, tractor) and went out into the hall to "ride". I told her to come back into the nursery. I should have just sent her to her mama, in the sanctuary. Her name is Madison.

Madison sings solos at church quite often. She sang a Jacqui Velasquez song just last Sunday morning. I do not see how she can get up there and croon in front of 300 people about loving Jesus and then use the language and have the behavior she showed today.

What should I do?

Sincerely,
Dreamer

I have a young friend in my church whose parents were missionaries in a foreign country. This young man grew up in Christianity ,yet, when he passed puberty, he left his family and the church and fell into a debauched life style.

He eventually got back into church because the young lady he'd fallen in love with got saved and it became obvious to him that if he was going to have her as his wife, church was going to be in the picture. But, he was an angry and confused young man when he came back.We responded by loving him until he could love himself and know beyond doubt that God loves him. Now he is truly on fire for Jesus.

Who knows what the reason was for Madison's behavior? It could be that she has a choleric personality; that is, she wants to be the boss, the leader. Many cholerics have short fuses and when they don't get their way, they act out their anger in an unseemly fashion.

Yes, mom should have been told about the incident; maybe not that day, but by a phone call on Monday. I would watch the child's behavior closely and see if this becomes a pattern. If it does become a pattern, take it up with the person in charge of your children's ministry. It would be their responsibility to get the issue resolved.


SLE

 

[maciek]

Silence speasks louder than words...

I think some times silence speaks louder than words...Being effectively and affectively present is very important...just observe and intercede...:star:

 

[Dreamer]

Madison is definitely a social butterfly, SLE. I have known her since she was in the 2nd grade (she's now in 7th). She is the leader in every peer group. The other girls present, I think, were shocked at her behavior and words, but went right along with it because they want to be her friend. She is very pretty and has lots of charisma. She also sings very well.

Deep inside, I think she feels lonely or low, or she wouldn't be acting like this.
I'm going to be praying for her and I plan to speak with her privately on Sunday, in a gentle manner: just asking her if things are okay, that sort of thing.

Do you want to know something? I'm really glad to get the input from each one of you that have posted! You are right. My first inclination was to talk to her father or mother. But first I will go to her quietly and see if she wants to talk to me.

I was really broke up about this all day Sunday. Now I see that maybe God wants me to minister to this young lady, instead of immediately judging her.

 

[Mouse]

Is she cussing like this to purposely rebel? Or is she ignorant of the fact that it's a sin to use the lord thy God's name in vain. Believe it or not, a lot of people have no idea that it's a sin to use Gods name in vain. If she's ignorant about it you have an obligation to teach her that it's a sin by saying something. However, if she does it purposely to spite and rebel then maybe it's better to just ignore it. Becuase then you'd be giving her the attention she is trying to get. Gah! Teens! Feel thankful the second coming of the Lord doesn't come at that horrible time of ones life.

 

[Dreamer]

She's the only daughter, of a Pastor of a large Baptist church. He preaches with fire and conviction. She knows cussing is wrong. I'm pretty sure her folks would keel over and faint if they knew.

 

[Faithful Son]

I don't think sister Dreamer is judging in any way brother kebesz. Please read carefully.

 

[Dreamer]

Hi, everybody. I saw Madison briefly today at church. I've been praying for her on and off since last Sunday, but God didn't open the door for her and I to talk today. I did make eye contact with her, smiled, and said "hi".

Perhaps at some other time I will have a chance to talk with her. It could even be that her parents are aware of the problem. I've left it in God's hands.

 

[rosewolf18]

Oh, I do believe I would have been all over that!!

Yes, I do believe you should say something, but talk to the young girl first. Being a pk myself, I cannot believe the girl had the nerve to cuss infront of you. That shows that Madison does not care. Someone should say something because she could be a stumbling block for another teen at that church.

A few of my friends sing in church and they sometimes act that way. I believe that it is hard to not become prideful of a gift that God has given us. More so when people apraise us and put us on pedistals. It makes so much harder to give all of that praise and glory back to God. Sometimes, they sing only for the people listening, like it was a concert or something of the like. They forget that their gift is ment to be used for God's glory alone. I get caught in that trap as well, more often then I would care to admit.

 

[SpiritLedEd]

I don't think sister Dreamer is judging in any way brother kebesz. Please read carefully.

We must remember that there are two kinds of judging. One is condemning, which Scripture prohibits and with good reason.But, analyzing the child's actions for purposes of correction and edification also falls under the definition of judging.

We need to stop thinking of judging only in terms of condemnation.