Should I stop being friends with my atheist friend?

[Glow]

Hello everyone. It's me again. I hope this is the last thread I make about this, and then I will hopefully be finished with the subject.

I have been really struggling. I have been infatuated with my atheist friend for a couple years now. But I think he has been leading me astray. Whenever he wants me to play a video game with him, I give in and play it, even if it goes against my personal convictions, because I want to please him (rather than looking to please God). Whenever he says something that is a joke, but it is not necessarily the "cleanest" joke, I go ahead and laugh at it even if I don't feel like I should. I often find myself keeping God out of our conversations because I am afraid of offending him, and whenever there is an opportunity to share something about God with him, I don't do it because I am too afraid of what he might think.

It gets worst. Recently I made a thread here asking people for prayers for my atheist friend. (I thank everyone who helped and prayed. It truly is appreciated.) In the thread, I mentioned that my friend had stopped talking to me and being my friend right after I shared the gospel message with him. Well.... I have bad news. As you can already tell from the first paragraph in this thread, I caved in and contacted him again. I sort of apologized for the way my message had come across to him (something I'm not sure was right to do), and we became friends again. We even played a video game together recently.

I am terrified. I want to repent of all my sins. Not just "some." But I'm afraid that this sin is just too difficult to deal with since I was the one who made it come forth again by contacting him. Now we are friends, and I don't know what to do. I am madly infatuated with him, to the point where he has become an idol. I'm constantly thinking about him every day, all the time, and I can't seem to focus on God the way I should be.

I'm lost. I'm horrified at the way I have acted. But what should I do though? When I think over the options, these are the only two that come up:

1) Stop being friends with him.
If I do this option, then it would probably be very good for me spiritually. But I am honestly terrified about the way I might be making him feel. I have been dealing with bipolar disorder in the past before, and I have gone back-and-forth with him many times in the past. I don't want to upset him again. I don't want him to think it's because I don't like him. I don't want him to think I'm just "messing with him" or something, which would be bad for my reputation as a Christian as well. It would especially be strange since I just recently went back to him in the first place.

2) Keep being friends with him.
If I do this option, then it would be very bad for me spiritually. I would be putting myself into situations where I can't escape, as I already am doing now. And I don't want God to be angry with me, since we are not to be yoked with unbelievers. Although, I could use it as an opportunity to witness, but it's already so hard keeping my passions under control at the moment.

Please help me. I don't know what to do.

 

[AbbysAunt]

Hi Glow,

I can relate to your story because at one point in my life I had become friends with someone who was not saved. In fact it was just as you mentioned she become like an idol and our friendship more like a co-dependency than a friendship. Please listen to me my friend and sister this friendship you are in is dangerous and not healthy for you. When we start putting God in the background and putting friends before Him that is not a good thing because God must come first in all things even our relationships with friends. You said you shared the gospel message with him and he got upset, you should never ever apologize for sharing the gospel of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. When you go to the extreme of keeping God out of the talks you both have that is like keeping the biggest part of you a secret and for a long time I did the same thing too and it ate me alive. To be honest after a while of this friendship I was in every part of me felt as if I were dying inside and in every way a person can. I felt more alone than I ever had before in my life and that is something I don't want you to have to go through.



You say you go along with your friend with the jokes he tells and videos he plays which both you have stated go against your convictions. Don't ignore the Holy Spirit my friend. When you get that feeling that you shouldn't go along with something or play that video game then listen and heed the advice and don't do it. I believe that you know the answer you are seeking and though it's not the easiest answer you know
for your own sake and for your walk with God you must end this friendship and not turn back. I had to do that same thing and it wasn't easy in the least in fact it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do,
but God helped me and day by day it got a tiny bit easier and I got stronger and stronger mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. God helped me overcome that which I couldn't not over come much less
control by myself.



There is no sin so big that together with God you can't face or deal with. He will help you in ways you cannot imagine. Lay it all down at His feet and tell him your fears, anxieties, that you are sorry and if you are like me tell him you are tired and scared and can't do this anymore and need His help and then hold on to Him do not let go and let Him lead you out of this situation. None of us is perfect my friend and sister we all
get ourselves into messes, but God is there ready to pull us out if only we let Him. One of the many things I have learned is this.. We don't change people infact if we hang around with the wrong people they could
change us and that in itself is really dangerous.

Proverbs 12:26 The righteous should choose his friends carefully, For the way of the wicked leads them astray.[/B]

This is one of my favorite bible verses because it reminds me that in choosing my friends I have to do so prayerfully and seeking those that God wants for me in my life not just what I want. Am I saying your friend is wicked, no i'm not but what I am saying is this .. right now your friend isn't saved and in remaining friends with him and doing those things you know and feel are wrong you are putting yourself in a very dangerous place. I Praise and Thank God that He saved me and brought me forth from those things which nearly destroyed me and I my prayer for you is this. Know that you are special to God and He loves you very much and
that there is nothing so hard that God cannot help you Through. I also pray you make the right choice now so you don't go through what I did. I will be praying for you in this situation and knowing God will give you the strength to do what you must do.

You sister in Jesus
AA

 

[Brad Huber]

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING. In ALL your ways, acknowledge Him, and He WILL direct your paths.

It is your own understanding that is clouded due to your natural desires and emotions. Due to your emotional state with this man, you need to fast in your taste of him, getting over your intense desire to be with him and talk with him. Not until you are back on the path the Lord would have you on, and been steady on it for some time (6 months to a year), should you even consider conversing with or spend time with this man, and even then if you can be honest with yourself, that you are over your infatuation with him. I don't say this to be harsh, but I can hear the cry in your voice, fighting with yourself, don't let the "old you" win out, let the new woman in Christ win this battle with God's help, for He will help you if you chose the Lord over your personal desires.

 

[Fragrant Grace]

Shew me Thy ways, O LORD; teach me Thy paths.
Lead me in Thy truth, and teach me: for Thou art the God of my salvation; on Thee do I wait all the day.
Psalm 25:4-5

Greetings sister @Glow

Stand firm for the Lord, dear sister, and commit all to Him in prayer
Tell Him all your sorrows, your hurts, your worries
Ask Him to take the throne of your heart again and cast out all idols
You will be richly blessed and He will lead you

Whilst you are dallying with this young man....you are not helping him at all spiritually....but instead giving him 'mixed messages' about your faith

If emotions and feelings start to overwhelm you.....use them as prompt to pray for this man, holding him before the throne of grace that he may be saved.

Glow, look to the Lord's word and rejoice in the promises found within

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me
Philippians 4:13

 

[Fenn]

1 John 2
15 Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.

16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.
17 And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.


The scripture is very clear and I know you long to do what is right and you even know what the right thing to do is. As Brad mentioned above, the Bible says not to lean on your own understanding. We cannot trust the flesh, it is weak and will cause you to stumble. All of your justifications will sound reasonable to the flesh, but the Holy Spirit and the Word of God are trying to appeal to your spiritual side, do not block Him out.

Your friend who is rejecting God cannot understand the things of God without the Spirit moving and it does not help if you are stifling the Spirit by being of the world.

1 Corinthians 2
14 But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.

I don't say these things in judgement of you or to make you feel bad. Back in 1 John 2 the very first verse is hopeful.

1 John 2
1 My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous:

2 And he is the propitiation for our sins: and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world.

3 And hereby we do know that we know him, if we keep his commandments.

4 He that saith, I know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him.


Repent of your sins that you have committed and submit yourself to God. Don't dwell on the sins of the past as we know three things:
1) We are called to repent and cleanse ourselves

James 4
7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
8 Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.

2) No one is above reproach and led a sin free life besides Christ. Knowing this we can once again turn our focus on Christ instead of turning our thoughts inward on our sins and self worth.

Romans 3
23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;

3) Our greatest hopes come from the promises we know God will fulfill for us, through us, and in us.

Phillipians 1
6 Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:

God has begun a work in us and He is ever faithful. I pray that we can all be faithful and submit ourselves to God's work that He may continue and we can rejoice in all of the good works He has begun and completed in our lives.


The last thing I want to mention is that even if you ignore all of the scripture, I am not saying you will, the relationship with your friend is currently built on false premises. He does not even know who you are. You have hidden the very core of yourself from him and this alone is a recipe for a friendship to slip. Just as you mentioned, he got upset when you spoke about God and shared the gospel with him. The act will be harder and harder to keep up. I pray that you have the strength to be who you are in God. I pray that you will also show him love and kindness even though he is not a believer and may be upset with your true lifestyle. Please pray about what God wants you to do. For even though you have put yourself, or just allowed yourself to be in this bad situation, God can turn everything for His glory. I pray that God works in your life and that you allow His glory to shine.
We are all broken and we have all fallen short. God lifts us up and we have salvation through Christ's sacrifice, so even when times are hard we still have joy.

 

[spirit1st]

We are All planting seeds daily in the things we say and do? We touching other lives always?

 

[Glow]

Hi Glow,

I can relate to your story because at one point in my life I had become friends with someone who was not saved. In fact it was just as you mentioned she become like an idol and our friendship more like a co-dependency than a friendship. Please listen to me my friend and sister this friendship you are in is dangerous and not healthy for you. When we start putting God in the background and putting friends before Him that is not a good thing because God must come first in all things even our relationships with friends. You said you shared the gospel message with him and he got upset, you should never ever apologize for sharing the gospel of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. When you go to the extreme of keeping God out of the talks you both have that is like keeping the biggest part of you a secret and for a long time I did the same thing too and it ate me alive. To be honest after a while of this friendship I was in every part of me felt as if I were dying inside and in every way a person can. I felt more alone than I ever had before in my life and that is something I don't want you to have to go through.



You say you go along with your friend with the jokes he tells and videos he plays which both you have stated go against your convictions. Don't ignore the Holy Spirit my friend. When you get that feeling that you shouldn't go along with something or play that video game then listen and heed the advice and don't do it. I believe that you know the answer you are seeking and though it's not the easiest answer you know
for your own sake and for your walk with God you must end this friendship and not turn back. I had to do that same thing and it wasn't easy in the least in fact it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do,
but God helped me and day by day it got a tiny bit easier and I got stronger and stronger mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. God helped me overcome that which I couldn't not over come much less
control by myself.



There is no sin so big that together with God you can't face or deal with. He will help you in ways you cannot imagine. Lay it all down at His feet and tell him your fears, anxieties, that you are sorry and if you are like me tell him you are tired and scared and can't do this anymore and need His help and then hold on to Him do not let go and let Him lead you out of this situation. None of us is perfect my friend and sister we all
get ourselves into messes, but God is there ready to pull us out if only we let Him. One of the many things I have learned is this.. We don't change people infact if we hang around with the wrong people they could
change us and that in itself is really dangerous.

Proverbs 12:26 The righteous should choose his friends carefully, For the way of the wicked leads them astray.[/B]

This is one of my favorite bible verses because it reminds me that in choosing my friends I have to do so prayerfully and seeking those that God wants for me in my life not just what I want. Am I saying your friend is wicked, no i'm not but what I am saying is this .. right now your friend isn't saved and in remaining friends with him and doing those things you know and feel are wrong you are putting yourself in a very dangerous place. I Praise and Thank God that He saved me and brought me forth from those things which nearly destroyed me and I my prayer for you is this. Know that you are special to God and He loves you very much and
that there is nothing so hard that God cannot help you Through. I also pray you make the right choice now so you don't go through what I did. I will be praying for you in this situation and knowing God will give you the strength to do what you must do.

You sister in Jesus
AA

Wow. Where do I even begin. Thank you so much. It's a relief to hear from someone who has been through the same situation as me. I have been struggling with this for a while now, with the idea that I have to leave my friend. Even my Christian counselor told me the same thing, told me to just do it and get it over with before I change my mind. I'm scared of what my friend will think though. I'm scared that he will not trust Christians anymore, or even worst, think that I'm messing with him. What do I do? How do I word it? How do I tell him that I don't want to deal with him anymore? I know it has to be in a nice way, and not rude, but I just don't know what to put, or how to even explain it.

 

[Glow]

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING. In ALL your ways, acknowledge Him, and He WILL direct your paths.

It is your own understanding that is clouded due to your natural desires and emotions. Due to your emotional state with this man, you need to fast in your taste of him, getting over your intense desire to be with him and talk with him. Not until you are back on the path the Lord would have you on, and been steady on it for some time (6 months to a year), should you even consider conversing with or spend time with this man, and even then if you can be honest with yourself, that you are over your infatuation with him. I don't say this to be harsh, but I can hear the cry in your voice, fighting with yourself, don't let the "old you" win out, let the new woman in Christ win this battle with God's help, for He will help you if you chose the Lord over your personal desires.

Thank you. Yes, I am definitely fighting with myself. I have been trying to do the right thing, and even justifying my actions of having gone back.... But I should have left it where it ended before.

My greatest concern though is...how? How do I break it off without seeming mean?

 

[Brad Huber]

Sister Glow... I think the truth would be the greatest witness to him possible. Tell him you have feelings for him, but that when spending time with him, you fall into bad patterns of not following your conscious, and that its ruining your relationship to God. Let him know that you want to remain his friend, but need some time apart to draw closer to the one who loves you more than anyone else... the Lord Jesus Christ. Then follow through, say goodbye and mean it.

 

[Victor9509]

First of all you said you laugh at his jokes even though you don't feel.Dont do what feels right but do what is right.
also in the bible it said that people should turn into you not you turn into them. Personally I have a friend that was the same he ignored my calls because I kept inviting him to church.And sure that's your best friend and you feel like you need him but the one you need is God
Another thing is God said the greatest commandment of all was love God more than youlove yourself
In the bible they also talk about kings and slaves . God made us king and queens. The kings are those that follow God, and slaves are those of earth.
And if your not a king then you're a slave and if you're a slave then things won't be good In the afterlife.:shade:

 

[Rev T.S.Perkins]

My sister , as i read youre post one thing keeps jumping out at me .you keep saying that it seems wrong to be in this friendship and that this has become an idol situation..If in youre heart God has convicted you of it CHANGE IT ..! i have never found it easy to just walk away my self but the rewards for such faithfulness is beyond compare ( had a couple of long time friends that i crossed that bridge with 1 i havent heard from in years now )..also i dont believe we should ever apoligise for the Gospel spoken out of concern ,,this is not a good place to be ..i would suggest you distance youreself and ask God to fill the Gap ..should youre friend ever ask about Christ tell him flat out what Christ has meant to you and let the chips fall .! but never backup on the good news being shared ...the enemy loves that .!!....Rev

 

[Rev T.S.Perkins]

Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling,
And to present you faultless
Before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy, 25 To who alone is wise,
Be glory and majesty,
Dominion and power,
Both now and forever.
Amen.
words of wisdom from Jude ..i pray they help....Rev

 

[AbbysAunt]

Hi Glow,

I'll be honest with you and tell you that leaving the friendship you are in now isn't going to be easy, but I can tell you that God will help you say what needs said by giving you the words if you allow him. When I left the friendship I was in it was to the point where I had to choose. It was either live as I was living and be miserable or chose God and find His peace again. You can tell your friend you willalways care for him, but you aren't willing to give up your relationship with God. Tell him you both need time a part and that you will be praying for him always and hope he will at some point understand why you need to be apart from him.





God is in control and will watch over your friend. Give him over to God. By doing this you are giving God total control in your friend's life and you are now able to concentrate on your relationship and walk with God. I know our Lord will give you the strength to do what needs done and will provide you the words that need said.




Praying for you glow
AA

 

[Quasicentennium]

Love your enemies :: Broadly speaking, the word 'enemy' as we all know means someone who wants to do more than hate by doing action that is totally unChrist-like such as murder. Enemy is a word that can be replaced with a more modern version: "non-Christian" that I believe would involve every non-Christian such as an atheist, Muslim or Scientologist:. That way, you can still love and respect their chosen belief, and at the same time, they in return would show their love and respect for your being Christian:.It's important that you appreciate Christianity as your faith + fearlessness = abundant peace of Christ. The peace of Christ is forever flowing from your heart and into the hearts of non-Christians who know you, like an invisible spiritual waterfall:. The peace abundance cannot be explained how it works supernaturally because our minds are Earth-born and we need to be patient that our future-coming Lord Jesus will transform us with new minds of Christ that would clearly explain how the peace of Christ works, including the creation of Adam and Eve who were our first human parent descendants:.The peace of Christ is so powerful, it could at any point in time during a non-Christian's life make that vital decision to accept JESUS CHRIST even after many years after your social contact with them where they refuse to acknowledge Jesus for themselves .;'*';.May our Lord Jesus give that chance - spare time - to allow non-Christians to make that vital decision to accept our Lord before his Second Coming, to defeat Satan who is the deceiver and violent society creator .;'*';.

 

[Brighthouse]

Hi Sister Glow. I know you feel very bad about what you have done,and do you know what sis,You should! BUT!!!! You knew there was going to be one of those sis!!Lets look at a bunch of people who were with Jesus,they heard from Jesus themselves,they saw all of his miracles and yet,left him!! You think you feel bad? I mean wow!! ( matt 26:56!!) So who was worse? You or them? Do not any longer condemn yourself sis!! ( rom 8:1)

You think you surprised Jesus or something?? hehe ( rom 4:8 sis) He knew before you even did it,and yet sister his love for you was never tarnished! Not a bit! I remember when I should have been a witness for Jesus but because of fear,and because my own life was not yet a proper example to myself let alone to others i failed many tests myself! Did he not tell peter that he would deny him 3 times?( Matt 26:33-35) not only did he deny him, he even lied to him!! LORD!! This is why my dear sister Jesus intercession before he went to the cross was not just for the disciples who denyed him,but for us who would to.( john 17:7-26!!)

Jesus knew us before we would even come to know each other sis,and he loves us!!He loves you!! So what to do now? I had many so called friends before Jesus,but after Jesus i was mocked laughed at,made fun of,I looked to hid Jesus for a while to! But then like you i felt so very bad,that Jesus did so very much for me, I would hid him?NO!! I can't hide my Jesus anymore!( rom 1:16!)

After about 4 months of really being put down by my so called friends,i was walking down the street when the worst of the people who mocked me came up to me.Mark , he looked around,would you be so kind as to pray for me? I really am sorry i made such sport of you,i know something is very different about you,and I so want the same change as Jesus did you! So I took the young man to a back alley so he would be more comfortable, we knelt down together, and I prayed for him. I understand i said,I am not mad at you,and i sure have already forgiven you,and so has my Father who is in me!

He became born again that evening as he went to Church to personally give his life to Jesus,he is now a preacher in Corbin Kentucky. A few others have through the years done the very same to me,can I cast them away because of what they said and did to me sis??Jesus did not cast me away,and he sure had every right to! Jesus forgives you sister,do not let the enemy rob you any longer of what was already bestowed upon you!( john 10:10) ( john 8:36 sister is for you today!!" So if the son makes you free you will be free indeed!!" All you have to do is take Jesus at his Word! he cannot lie!( Hebrews 6:18) for he is our very hope!

verse 19! he is our anchor to our very soul sis!! You are learning something I did sis,it is not enough to say one believes,it is enough to become established by him and his word,and to love others even as he has so loved you! John 3:16 God SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LOVED!! That is what we become sis,a mirror to our Jesus!! God bless you sister,go be free,and through Jesus set others free, for this is the law of LOVE! ( 1 john 3:19-24!!!)

 

[Glow]

Sorry everyone for not keeping up with this thread. I have been battling the enemy for several weeks now, who was attempting (and succeeding) in keeping me from departing from my friend.

I am fearful, but I am going to send him the email tonight. I will let him know (in a loving way) that I cannot stay friends with him because of my commitment to Christ. Please pray that everything goes well, and that I say the right thing. Please. I am really nervous about sending it. I know that God will work it out, but I am still very fearful and hesitant, which I think is Satan trying to keep me from doing it.

 

[Brad Huber]

Its never wrong to be afraid of something as long as you can push through that fear and accomplish a good work. That's actually a good example of courage. Stay strong sister, praying for you sister Glow.

 

[Rev T.S.Perkins]

sister i pray the lord counsel you well in this for only He knows the heart of youre friend and how to reach Him the best with out damaging the roots .....may God give you all you need during this time in Jesus name ...REV

 

[spirit1st]

Nothing on earth is more important than a loving truthful relationship with our LORD JESUS and that means doing those things that pleases HIm. After all? He only wants the best for us and rewards us for doing what He wants for us 100% .

we always gain by pleasing Him. He loves us more than anyone could love us . It so important we fully understand this.

 

[Glow]

I feel relieved. Part of me (flesh) is unhappy because of what I've done, but the other part (spirit) is relieved. Thank you all for your prayers and advice. I wish I could respond to you all, but either way, it was very much appreciated.