Sometimes I think my 13 year old is going to drive me bananas

[Dreamer]

I have a lovely 13 year old girl. She is pretty and smart and funny. And she is driving me crazy. I pray, and pray, and pray, but she refuses to make friends anymore. She hides things she gets in trouble for at school. She doesn't tell me the things she's supposed to---like she's headed for detention. I consider that lying when a person withholds information like that. She knows she's supposed to tell me. Her teachers have to send me her detention slips in the mail.

She argues in a quiet calm, voice that drives me wild. Don't play with your little brother's toy with your toes, I said a little while ago. "He puts that in his mouth. He puts everything in his mouth. " \\

"I wasn't", she says calmly. "I very clearly saw you do that, " I said.


She always is completely innocent. She didn't do it. She wasn't there. I imagined she is headed for detention. I imagined her toes were curled around my 5 months old's toy. Yeah, right.

Please someone pray with me for my daughter and for my sanity.

My husband is coming home from Iraq next month and he is stricter with my daughter than I am. He is her step-father.

Someone help me get some perspective on this, some wise, godly perspective from the Word.

Thanks.

 

[pixie]

Hi

:rose: Hey Dreamer: I have a twelve year old boy and he sure is a handful. In Issaih, it is written "the children shall play over the cobras hole". I think it is for this generation of children. They aren't so affected by evil. Thank goodness your husband is returning from Iraq, safe and sound. You seem to have a rascally daughter and I will pray for you, that she respects you more and may the light of Christ in you, be a beacon for her to reflect on. I truly will pray and I hope that your family stays whole and happy. If you ever need a support, just pm me and I will help the best I can. :rose: Amen:rose:

 

[peeps]

Hi Dreamer God bless you mommy Do you have someone to talk to about this? at all? someone who will hold your hand in the next 4-5 years. . .?
I can almost garantee you . . .you will need that help at your side If its not your hubby, maybe parents or someone from church who has daughters who have been through the teen years??
It will not get better . . .things get worse before they get better. . .thats normal . ..but so heartaching for mommy and daughter . . .because none of you two want it this way. . .
Does your daughter have someone to talk about all this? She needs someone too in the upcoming years . . .1-2 ppl where she can turn to anytime and just pour out her heart when things become tough at home. . .with Dad too . . .after all . . .she is a girl, turning into a woman the next few years, she needs help if mom is busy or goes nuts or loves the little innocent brother

You need help! Turn to God and tell Him all your sorrow, ask Him to raise your daughter when you cannot reach her no more and you will be on her side as best as you can Trust and seek Jesus wisdom from His word
Believe . . .and there will be miracles

God bless your family please pm me too if you need a hand to hold onto

 

[Theosebes]

The bible says it is Gods kindness that leads us to repentance.

I would stay firm on the discipline and very consistent, carrying through your previously outlined consequences...

BUT

Be quick with your discipling and don't draw it out in endless and friutless comments and questions about her behavior. This is what you did, this is what i am doing. Job done.

I would make my primary reponse one of kindness. I have a 15 year old girl and i tell myself if i cannot say it with kindness then don't open my mouth till i can.

Also i carry these thoughts aroung in my mind, it helps me.

If i am within arms reach i would touch her, squeeze her arm, put my hand on her back, head just a brief touch of love and reassurance of that love, but making regular contact.

If i offer and she is willing, a hug or cuddle, they always need them no matter how old.

Bedtime is a killer, i don't know about your girl but mine unwinds when she is tucked up in bed and a short peep round the door when she is settled can sometimes cause her to open up and chat a little and provide some much needed intimacy between us which reinforces the bond.

It is this intimacy which can prevent discord and can help to settle a child. Making the biggest contact you have with them kind, loving and intimate. Irrespective of their alternative behavior be consistent in this and you will see friuts.

Oh and also, make sure you have some time for yourself to offload and refill. Laughing with friends or a coffee and a moan...however and whatever you need, it's hugely important.

Hope it's of some help

 

[Dreamer]

Bless you, Theosebes, Pixie, and peeps. Good godly advice--all of it.

Had a meeting this morning with guidance counselor and her teachers. I am very pleased with the results. A godly lady that is very good with kids is going to be working with my daughter. I trust this lady, and I think she will be a good counselor for her. Be praying with me for my daughter, thanks

 

[sunshine307]

Dreamer, Praise the Lord for this help. We spoke in Chat if you remember about this. I'm so glad you've got a godly person you can trust.

 

[Dreamer]

((((((((((((((((((((Sunshine, GBU))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

 

[evangeline]

Hi Dreamer,

I'll be praying for you and your daughter...and your husband's safety in Iraq...GBU

 

[Coconut]

The bible says it is Gods kindness that leads us to repentance.
I would stay firm on the discipline and very consistent, carrying through your previously outlined consequences...
BUT
Be quick with your discipling and don't draw it out in endless and friutless comments and questions about her behavior. This is what you did, this is what i am doing. Job done.
I would make my primary reponse one of kindness. I have a 15 year old girl and i tell myself if i cannot say it with kindness then don't open my mouth till i can.
Also i carry these thoughts aroung in my mind, it helps me.
If i am within arms reach i would touch her, squeeze her arm, put my hand on her back, head just a brief touch of love and reassurance of that love, but making regular contact.
If i offer and she is willing, a hug or cuddle, they always need them no matter how old.
Bedtime is a killer, i don't know about your girl but mine unwinds when she is tucked up in bed and a short peep round the door when she is settled can sometimes cause her to open up and chat a little and provide some much needed intimacy between us which reinforces the bond.
It is this intimacy which can prevent discord and can help to settle a child. Making the biggest contact you have with them kind, loving and intimate. Irrespective of their alternative behavior be consistent in this and you will see friuts.
Oh and also, make sure you have some time for yourself to offload and refill. Laughing with friends or a coffee and a moan...however and whatever you need, it's hugely important.
Hope it's of some help

That was beautiful, and I could`nt agree more!