Struggling to love amongst so much hate

[NavyWife]

I think so far, I've posted too much in the counseling section. I apologize!!
My husband went on deployment, and in need of support I moved in with my inlaws.
They are baby Christians (ex mormon). Unsure if they have given their lives to Christ, but the claim to be saved.
So recently I was talking wtih my husband over the bills and if I should pay my inlaws more rent when their son moves out and they had overheard me talking.
The same day they asked me to move out because my dog attacked their two dogs. One of which was true, the other dog I had confronted them about it and they denied telling my husband that.
They also asked me to leave because they said it was hard to talk to me. That I can understand. They must truly struggle to talk to me because they have yet to talk to me, or ask me what I am going through.

I cry day in and day out because I haven't had anyone be so hostile towards me in so long, and the simple fact I am trying to raise my children with my husband half way around the world. I cry in my room so they wont hear (I know it bothers them when I'm sad so I hide it), but once this week they had heard and said that I was being "like another child" and they are "sick of it". I paid them rent a day late because I was waiting for my paycheck, and they told their friends that I had stopped helping them, that I had quit giving them money for food and rent. Which is not true, they failed to ask me WHEN I would be paying. Also that I'm causing them too much stress. They really really want me gone!

Im under an immense amount of stress because I'm trying to find an apartment that I can afford, and trying to get out ASAP! I dont want to cause them any more problems. Its bringing me more stress trying to juggle their judgements and finding an apartment, raising my children while having my other half so far away, with no one to talk to but them, and then, they wont talk to me. Its a terrible circle.
i have tried to figure out exactly what I do that bothers them so I can stop, but it only leads me into a nonsensical circle. If I talk to them they ignore me and...you know, you can see someone's heart through their eyes and they despise me! but if I try to avoid them it only makes them angrier.

I cried last night to God, and He told me I had to go through this, and that He is always here. I praise the Lord for His love and patience with me! I realize Christ was here to tear apart families. Also that mother in law will be against daughter in law and father against son, etc.. Christ warned me of this, and I see this now. What I dont understand his how a supposedly saved person can persecute and be so hateful towards another Christian? relatives or not, we are supposed to LOVE our brother believers, our neighbors, our enemies...you get the idea.

I am hurt that they are giving our non-beleiver neighbors a bad impression on who Christians are, and being slanderous to my name. If persecuting a Christian is like persecuting Christ, what would that mean if a "Christian" is persecuting another Christian? Is this the Lord's way of ripping us apart and testing me? Is this His way of discerning the heart and showing me their true hearts?
(I realize this letter is all "I"'s and "Me"s. I pray to help me think of myself less from here on out)

Could anyone with discernment possibly give me advice?

 

[HoneyBare]

I feel your pain, as I lived as a Mormon convert for 2 yrs. I always felt so accepted with them, and wanted to be as "kind" as they were. But, I was disappointed when I realized they were tired of my questions and also in doubt of their beliefs.

Your inlaws, if they have left their church, are probably in confusion also, and in need of counseling themselves. They left because they are searching for peace.

You didn't mention your husband's faith. He was probably raised Mormon. Maybe not practicing. I hope you are able to encourage him in his time of loneliness and uncertainty. I know how stressful this war has been for everyone. I know you are going through a lot of testing too. How old are your children?

Do you attend a church where you could get some encouragement? If not, it would certainly help to find one. It doesn't sound like you can depend on the inlaws to give any. I will pray for your sanity during these times and that you can find a place of rest for you and your family. God bless you, sis.

 

[Boanerges]

My dear sister, I am so sorry for your pain and will be praying for you.
You did nothing wrong.
God will provide a place for you.
Hurt people hurt people.
It sounds like your in-laws are wounded souls dragging a lot of baggage around. The most important things to do is forgive, love and pray for them. If they have truly met Christ He will work all these things out in their hearts even if it takes years.
If they are demonically bound then the darkness in them will rise up against the light in you.
It sounds as thought they have years of ingrained religious thinking to overcome.
Do not give up on them as Jesus does not give up on us.

 

[NavyWife]

Thank you!

I really do appreciate both your replies. And you both are very right.

Honeybare--My husband is mormon, not practicing, and I pray for him to come to know Christ and bring him peace as well. He mentioned that I am a good representative of a Christian, I thought that was such a wonderful thing to say! I will keep witnessing to him, and teaching him as much as I can, because yes, he is going through a very hard time as well, definately more stressful than what I am going through.
My children are 5. We do attend church, I however didnt want to go to the pastor about this issue in that I think it would put negative light on them, however He is a very discerning person and now that I think about it would be a good person to talk to

Boanerges--You pointed out some very truthfull things. They have mentioned previously that they felt the mormon church has hurt them so much. They are still trying to heal. They are very hateful towards mormon beliefs, understandably, but I thank God they are attending a Christian bible beleiving church. Since I moved in they have been reading their bible and attending church more regularly, that is a blessing!



As an update, after church today I decided to sit down and have a talk with them. I mentioned that I am in no way angry or upset in the outcome of everything. There is no reason not to be able to talk to me about things, and that I hope we can learn to communicate better. I think we reached a level of understanding, at the same time, this has happened many times in the past.

Thank you for your input! God bless you, and really, really, Thank you!

 

[dchildress]

Testings,trials and suffering.

My heart goes out for you my dear sister in the Lord. We know that Satan has but a short time left here and he is in a hurry to cause grief and despair to all who are children of God. You must realize that there is a plan and a purpose for all that we must endure as lovers of Christ. What does His word tell us? 1Cr 15:31 I protest by your rejoicing which I have in Christ Jesus our Lord, I die daily. As Paul clearly states here that we that are alive in Christ Jesus must die daily to the things that come from the world. Even things that are hard for us to understand such as sickness, unforeseen death and persecution for his name sake. All I can do is tell you to show them love, forgiving love and let your joy of Christ Jesus who is in you be the light that they will see. Eph 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. God will bless you as you heap that love upon their heads. Rom 12:20 Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Seek the Lord in prayer continually, God Bless...Brother David

 

[Brighthouse]

Daughter of the King!!

I write to you after careful prayer,for one who wishes to help,must first place themselves in your shoes,at least as much as possible. I write to encourage you,I write because like Jesus, I love you with his love as well,first you know the scripture matt 10:36-38, but this gives little comfort,to your heart,only confirms what you have suspected for some time now,so why?? what purpose does this serve that Ishould suffer so much from my own family! I have children, and a husband that is far away in a land i have no idea, I know, for I was in the service myself,in Vienam. ok so let us,reason together. during this time of being attacked even from the household of Faith! The enemy is doing what he has done from the beginning!! he looks to steal!! John 10:10 value as well as life from youOur job!! find out now,who are you in Christ? what promises can you claim in him to help your mind? With others to consider I realize that this is not an easy thing for you to do, but the point to this is this!! Know this!! deaut 31:6 and in the new!! hebrews 13:5 The Lord will move as!!!! as you expect him to move for you!!yes Faith! for with out it!Hebrews 11:6 expect him to rescue you!! see it in your mind!! and then REST!!! in the fact that he has come just for you! to meet you at whatever point you are in at the moment!! words that hurt you, do not listen! mark 4:24 get the idea?? it is time for you to make your stand in Christ,do not be sad, rather get mad! be angry and sin not!! look at ephesians chapter 4,this is how we are to be.lol No one said it was going to be easy,and it is not! but by doing this, you will cast your cares on who you should!! for is not the burden you carry to heavy for you? 1 Peter 5:7 No one can know what another is going through unless they have been in that situatuion!! I know!! but poor me and feeling sorry foryourself can be worse because in that the enemy tells you haha there is no way out!! LOL but we know there is!! if!!!!! you let him! Be blessed!! my prayers are with you! we use the Word because!!!Nothing in this world is sharper!! and to the point!! Hebrews 4:12 be alive in Christ!! do not let the enemy steal anymore from you.ps!! give him a kick for me!! as I am giving one to him from you!

 

[NavyWife]

Thank you Dchildress and Brighthouse! Your words bring comfort. I know I cannot let myself worry over these things. It only dampers my light and then who will see it? I still need to be an example, especially to my chidren. I am trying to forgive, and perhaps love will come after. I pray they walk in godly ways from now on. I wish I could have been the Christian to take them under my wing and teach them, but they have fullheartedly rejected me. I praythey do not reject Christ altogether! (ps. I kicked him! HA! I might stumble but I will not fall! For God is carrying me)

 

[Veracity]

They are baby Christians (ex mormon). Unsure if they have given their lives to Christ, but the claim to be saved. I would be willing to say they have no where near given their hearts to Christ...perhaps they are still in the considering stage. They have not accepted because there is no change for good in them, according to your post.
I cry in my room so they wont hear (I know it bothers them when I'm sad so I hide it), but once this week they had heard and said that I was being "like another child" and they are "sick of it".

There again there is no compassion, if you have accepted Christ and it is a 'real' event, they would have some sympathy and compassion, you are after all missing someone they should also be missing.

My Aunt and Uncle were Mormons, and I know from experience that in their case, the loving family thing was never real, but more for show. They were abusive to me because I was a 'heathen' child, not in the Mormon church.

I don't know these people, I don't know you, there are always two sides to the story, but I have seen the situation you describe, so I sway to your side on this.

If I were you, I would remove myself and my children from them ASAP, these types of attitudes seem to linger and attach themselves and I would not allow my children to be influenced, especially sending a message of disrespect towards their mother. Pray for them and cover your children with the Lord's protection, keep the Lord your first priority, and just thank Him for all things, good and bad, He will use it all eventually for good.

 

[RJ]

Hello, I'm Kiley - <!-- status icon and date --><!-- status icon and date -->01-21-10, 08:28 PM <!-- / status icon and date -->



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I'm new here and wanted to introduce myself!
Im a Navy Wife if you couldnt tell. We have two young children. We are still moving around a lot and dont really have an adress right now so I couldnt even say where I'm from
I've been a born again Chrisian for about 4 years now, but I guess my curiosity about the Lord began when I was 16.
As it happens with a lot of people, it took a hurricane to break me down, and cut through a heart of steel until I finally gave up my life for Christ. I'm so happy I did, as it changed me, and I see the changes in those around me. I praise God for His love and mercy! I pray that more of the people closest to me come to Christ.
I hope to meet many of you! Although this seems like a very large forum.
In advance: pleased to meet you!

Dear Sister, it seems that you have backed up a bit and reflected on what's really important since your post on 1-17-10 and, that is a good thing.

It is always important to constantly look back a the time that you first believed. You must , as best you can , be ready to re-live that experience when you first met Jesus, especially in times of trials and weakness.

My wife calls these "Jesus Moments" and St. Paul would refer to them as the" First Fruits " of the Holy Spirit and none are more powerful that the moment when you first believed!

I am a devout believer and will always be but, again as St. Paul says, we only" know in part" and until, as he says, " We will know fully", I too will struggle.
I too have problems and events that seem out of my control, because they are but, the very minute I acknowledge that I can't do it and rely on Him who lives in me, my ship rights itself and off I go again.

And nothing brings me back quicker than that precious moment when I first believed.

Remember Jesus said: “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

And so will you!!!

Hang in there with your in-laws and the best thing to do is to let Jesus light shine from you and be walking, talking witness for what He has done for you, especially to your Husband and children .

And as Momma always said, " Always remember who brung you to the dance"!


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[francis13]

Hi...

All the people above are from America... Hmmm.... I dont know what does Mormon mean or how a mormon act... But all i know is about the eye thing... People's heart can be clearly seen through their eyes.... I am right now working at a place where my co workers speak out something keeping another thing inside which made me cry at night.... But now sis it all turned upside down.... They didn't change but someone inside me made me different... One day i heard this verse at church....

"Don't worry about anything, instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ" Phil 4:6,7

After getting this verse all i did was praying, not worrying and the special part is thanking him for all he has done, all the time.... Now it all turned around and when i see their eyes now i feel to laugh. At night in my bed i laugh for their thoughts, because God says constantly that i will save you from this dont worry they will all see when you stand tall among them......... My advise is, do the thanking part cautiously. Dont forget it.....

Now im experiencing the second part, that is, peace comes from God, far more wonderful the human mind can understand..... They are the same always, but you will feel there actions in a completely different way that you cannot imagine... They will see you the same but you will be different on the inside...... You will be peaceful in your heart and mind which will guard it every time your enemy attacks.... So be glad and thank him for everything he has done to you from birth... God will make you happy.... I will also pray for you.... With an expectation of a post on Testimonial part i bid bye....

 

[Christ4Ever]

You didn't say if your husband is reservist or regular active duty. Housing is available through the Services Unit of the base which he was deployed from and might be available from the base which is closest to you know. Checking with the base services that can also provide you access to apartment/housing searches as well. Normally the deployed unit has a contact number for the dependent family, which they can contact for assistance. Use them. That’s what they’re there for. I’m retired military, and had a daughter in the Navy, and a son currently in the Air Force.
Moving in with the in-laws or any family for that matter, when it was probably not expected or planned for can be trying. From your words, it's been difficult at best. For that know that your brother and sisters in the Lord will be praying for you. You also will need to stay in prayer. Be honest with your in-laws. In any sit down conversations, I suggest that you open it with prayer. You can't control what they say or do. So your expectation of them changing by themselves sadly is probably not going to happen. That is why you enlist the help of the One who can. Our Lord Jesus Christ! Times like these are when praying and bringing it before the Lord are of the greatest import.
So many questions!!! Do you go to church with them? Have you made time to study the word with them, if not with them, allowed them to see you doing it? Sounds nefarious, or like you’re trying to make a point. You’re not. Establish this as part of your life and the life of your children. Don’t know how old your children are, but do you have the time to study with them? Difficult to do and to implement because you probably have so much going on already. Yet not impossible for our Lord! Be the vessel He has made you. Allow him to work through you. Once again know that you are in my prayers and the prayers of your brothers and sister in Christ Jesus.

 

[nzdaughter]

I relate, Lol. I often get hostility from new Christians compared to ones who've been longer like I have. No offense, many are lovely and spirit filled immediately, others, hmmm. Lol. I also get hostility from non Christians of course. but shouldn't there be a differntiancian between how a Christian and worldly peeps act? God bless you all.

 

[eddieb]

the bible says in the last days people will be without natural affection. idk if that is the case for you or not. im in a tough spot too. not exactly like yours but i have been in your spot many many times. for years and years. where i am now what i am hearing is that The Lord is our portion. and to be content with food and clothes. we have nothing but The Lord. nothing that lasts forever and ever, nothing that isnt vanity. and also that heartache and sorrow is a sure thing. somedays all i have to grasp is the promise of one day all these sorrows will be gone. and that He will never leave me.

Psa 127:1 Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.
Psa 127:2 It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep.
Psa 127:3 Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
Psa 127:4 As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.
Psa 127:5 Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.