Struggling to understand and to just cope with things.

[Shiloh]

It is hard to explain where I am at in life. All I know is that I am struggling to understand the things that are happening in my life and trying to cope but it is getting harder.

To make a long story short. I am a Christian, but some how in the last 2 years, I have lost my spark to enjoy, follow and find comfort in God. Maybe it is shame or fear, all I know is that I have a hard time talking to God, let alone pray, read my Bible or mingle with other Christians. I am single, and I struggle with the rejection of the man that still has my heart. Recently he told me that I wasn't good enough for him, which shocked and hurt me deeply. Living alone is a silent pain, as everything is mostly by myself other than while I am at work. I know as a Christian I should reach out to help others, but how can I do that when I am damaged myself, to try to help someone else when I struggle myself.

On top of it all, my Dad is dying. We don't know when his time will come, but what he has is terminal. He has been steadily going down hill since 2009. I don't have a great relationship with him, yet I try. I wasn't raised with him as he gave up custody when I was 12, so my sisters and brothers have more of a stable relationship with him then I do. I desire to have one, but I know it will never been like theirs. Still, I am not ready to lose my Dad.

I don't have many friends and I am kind of stopped talking to them about my struggles, because face it, no one enjoys hearing about ones problems. So I keep them to myself mostly. Honestly, all my mother can say is that "You aren't the only one going through pains in life". I know I am not singled out with my issues, but I wish someone could understand why I cry myself to sleep at night. Why I am shy around people. It is sad that with most of my friends, I know all the important things in their lives, yet no one seems to know what is special or important to me.

I am just trying to find a way to cope or understand. I am not asking anyone to fix my problem. I guess I just wanted to post it, because there is no way, I could talk to my parents or even most of my close friends (the few that I have) how I have been feeling. I can't even talk to God, because I feel that my problems and issues are so trivial compared to others. I have received so many blessings. I have a job, a car, a home and food. I might not have children or a husbands, so I have no room to belly ache my desires to have a family to love and cherish. So I keep it to myself, as it is not important, as people's other issues.

Sorry,

Like I said. I don't look for anyone to fix my problems, as my problems are not necessarily as important as others, because they are trivial. Just wanted to try and get the pain, worry and the hurt out of my heart and my head. I thought it might help a little, because it is getting overwhelming for me.

~Shiloh

 

[Brad Huber]

When you feel sad and lonely the best thing you can do is reach out. Reaching out here is the beginning, now continue to do so. Contact your closest nursing home, and ask how you can help or just show up and speak kindly to the residents. They as well are often some of the loneliest ppl around, and could use someone just to talk with. Step outside yourself and you will find joy in bringing it to others with your mere presence. Praying for you sister.

 

[Fragrant Grace]

I am just trying to find a way to cope or understand. I am not asking anyone to fix my problem. I guess I just wanted to post it, because there is no way, I could talk to my parents or even most of my close friends (the few that I have) how I have been feeling. I can't even talk to God, because I feel that my problems and issues are so trivial compared to others. I have received so many blessings. I have a job, a car, a home and food. I might not have children or a husbands, so I have no room to belly ache my desires to have a family to love and cherish. So I keep it to myself, as it is not important, as people's other issues.
Shiloh

Greetings @Shiloh

Now that wicked liar and accuser the devil has been whispering doubt and despondency into you heart and mind.
And it seems that he's getting the upper hand

But no no no......

Jesus is victorious over the devil and his lies.

And the Lord wants you to be close to Him, He wants you to talk to Him
He loves you so dearly
And you are far too precious to Him to be going through this

Start by getting into the spirit of praise for all you have
Thank Him for all those abundant blessings in your life....your job, your car, your home and your daily provisions

Realise sister and praise Him for the marvelous unfailing promises in His word

My God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:19

And commit all your concerns, anxieties and sadness before His throne
Pour out your heart to Him....He loves you
You are His child

Commending you to the Lord sister....who is abundantly able to meet all your need

Bless you

And God is able to make all grace abound toward you; that ye, always having all sufficiency in all things, may abound to every good work
2 Corinthians 9:8

 

[TheWidowsOffering]

@Brad

That is a great antidote for self-pity bro ... Thumbs up for that. When seeing and listening to others needs and situation, there we eventually realize they are having even a harder time than we have and if we try to imagine putting ourselves in their place maybe we can say "I cannot bear it".

I don't have many friends and I am kind of stopped talking to them about my struggles, because face it, no one enjoys hearing about ones problems. So I keep them to myself mostly. Honestly, all my mother can say is that "You aren't the only one going through pains in life". I know I am not singled out with my issues, but I wish someone could understand why I cry myself to sleep at night. Why I am shy around people. It is sad that with most of my friends, I know all the important things in their lives, yet no one seems to know what is special or important to me.

~Shiloh

Dear Sister Shiloh,

I just read your post this morning and have been praying for you.

Reading the above portion of your post I am reminded of the following Scripture and led to share a little bit for you.

Psalm 16:5 "Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure."

Psalm 142:5 "I cry to you, Lord; I say, “You are my refuge, myportion in the land of the living.”

Lamentations 3:24 I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”

Psalm 73:26 "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

Notice the last two verses dear sister, it is a self-encouragement. If at some point we can't open up ourselves for others for help, we can do the same as the psalmist and the author of lamentation did. There are times that come when we cannot really utter any prayer and or praise to God, but I believe so the Spirit of the Lord is always there leading us, guiding us to draw near and come to God, helping us in our weakness even to pray.

Romans 8:26 "Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. 27 And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God. 28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.


If at the moment you cannot do so to communicate to God directly with your mouth, then talk to Him in your spirit within heart and your mind. Let God collect those tears of yours in His bottle and be transformed into prayers that the mouth cannot speak. Dear sister there is no sighing the Lord cannot hear, there is no tear God cannot wipe out, there's no pain or suffering the Lord cannot see in us, nay every detail of our lives even the smallest one are known by Him and HE cares for us. As the Scripture says "Even the very hairs in our head are already numbered." As sister Julia said, cast your cares on Him dear sister for God cares for you. Affirm His love and compassion on you everyday. I did that many times when a time God put me in a situation when I've been very alone, friends and family are far away, I am very new and a stranger in a foreign land, no cell phone for a time being to make communication (phone was damage and can't afford yet to get a new one that time, no internet access for some months, very tired all day having hard time to adjust on my new environment, then a couple of months after my 34th birthday (after saying the last happiest words he could utter) the only person whom I have been at home with wrote me a letter that somehow broke my heart (oooopppsss!!) If not of the Lord in me, I would have felt so homeless (in my heart) those months . Dear Sister, we cannot escape having hard times in our lives but God promised He is there for us watching for lives. Cheers beloved saint. God loves you!


Blessings and love from Jesus,


TheWidowsOffering

Psalm 121

I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. 2 My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth.3 He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber. 4 Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The Lord is thy keeper: the Lord is thy shade upon thy right hand. 6 The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night. 7 The Lord shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul. 8 The Lord shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore.

 

[Christ4Ever]

It is hard to explain where I am at in life. All I know is that I am struggling to understand the things that are happening in my life and trying to cope but it is getting harder.

To make a long story short. I am a Christian, but some how in the last 2 years, I have lost my spark to enjoy, follow and find comfort in God. Maybe it is shame or fear, all I know is that I have a hard time talking to God, let alone pray, read my Bible or mingle with other Christians. I am single, and I struggle with the rejection of the man that still has my heart. Recently he told me that I wasn't good enough for him, which shocked and hurt me deeply. Living alone is a silent pain, as everything is mostly by myself other than while I am at work. I know as a Christian I should reach out to help others, but how can I do that when I am damaged myself, to try to help someone else when I struggle myself.

On top of it all, my Dad is dying. We don't know when his time will come, but what he has is terminal. He has been steadily going down hill since 2009. I don't have a great relationship with him, yet I try. I wasn't raised with him as he gave up custody when I was 12, so my sisters and brothers have more of a stable relationship with him then I do. I desire to have one, but I know it will never been like theirs. Still, I am not ready to lose my Dad.

I don't have many friends and I am kind of stopped talking to them about my struggles, because face it, no one enjoys hearing about ones problems. So I keep them to myself mostly. Honestly, all my mother can say is that "You aren't the only one going through pains in life". I know I am not singled out with my issues, but I wish someone could understand why I cry myself to sleep at night. Why I am shy around people. It is sad that with most of my friends, I know all the important things in their lives, yet no one seems to know what is special or important to me.

I am just trying to find a way to cope or understand. I am not asking anyone to fix my problem. I guess I just wanted to post it, because there is no way, I could talk to my parents or even most of my close friends (the few that I have) how I have been feeling. I can't even talk to God, because I feel that my problems and issues are so trivial compared to others. I have received so many blessings. I have a job, a car, a home and food. I might not have children or a husbands, so I have no room to belly ache my desires to have a family to love and cherish. So I keep it to myself, as it is not important, as people's other issues.

Sorry,

Like I said. I don't look for anyone to fix my problems, as my problems are not necessarily as important as others, because they are trivial. Just wanted to try and get the pain, worry and the hurt out of my heart and my head. I thought it might help a little, because it is getting overwhelming for me.

~Shiloh

Dear sister,
First of all you are special. Special indeed! You are a Child of the Most High, Chosen, singled out by a Perfect God! He does not make mistakes. We might. But God does not. Any thoughts like that you need to put behind you. Oh, you may not walk on water (yet), but you are dearly loved.

To speak of the “man that still has my heart” as if he alone resides there. No, who has your heart is God! Any man should be secondary to Him. When you place anyone above your God, you’re opening yourself up to disappointment. God will not let you down. He might put you through some tough times, which right now might be one of them. But the purposes are to teach, to help you grow, not to punish, or cause you unnecessary pain.

You don’t say what your relationship was with this man, or if he was even a Christian as well. You as a believer, would know if you are in good standing with God when it came to this relationship. The reason I mention this is because our behavior when contrary to how God would want us to live, can adversely affect the rest of our life.

Reconcile with your father. His time is short as you say. Be a witness for your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ with him. Keep in mind this does not have to be a parting that will last forever, but only a short separation in eternity. That is a promise that you have in Jesus Christ.

Most of all get back to praying. How does any relationship grow, if there is no communication? Prayer is part of that communication with your Heavenly Father, Lord Christ Jesus, through the Holy Spirit who resides in you.

Sadly, friends and fellowship at and away from church, can be a one way street, when it comes to unburdening oneself. That they are able to do so with you, lets me know that you are a caring, sensitive person, who desires to help. Because of this, it is quite possible that others see your silence, and fortitude as a strength, reflecting a believer who does not need help, or want it outside of God Himself. We sometimes find it easier to carry the burdens of others, then it is to unburden ourselves to others. If this is how you think, then trying thinking it as allowing someone else to be blessed by providing you the ear, or shoulder to lean on. You also have brothers & sisters in Christ Jesus, here at TJ, who will also, pray, and if possible help with those burdens that at times seem too much to bare.

We here at TJ, count it a blessing when we can help someone. Because it's something else, that we can give Glory to God for! To be a servant of His, in whatever role who chooses or leads us to.

My Prayer for you Shiloh:

I praise You, Lord, for the awesome God that You are! Thank You for Your wonderful salvation! I bring before you Shiloh in prayer Father God. Heal the pain and hurt, and provide the guidance and comfort only you can give. Hear her pleas, and supplications, as I also pray for this to be heard and moved upon for your greater glory. You have said "And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If ye shall ask anything in my name, I will do it." And so we ask in your Holy name Jesus. Continue to change her heart and to make her more like You. Amen.

YBIC
C4E

 

[19DuggarFan]

It is hard to explain where I am at in life. All I know is that I am struggling to understand the things that are happening in my life and trying to cope but it is getting harder.

To make a long story short. I am a Christian, but some how in the last 2 years, I have lost my spark to enjoy, follow and find comfort in God. Maybe it is shame or fear, all I know is that I have a hard time talking to God, let alone pray, read my Bible or mingle with other Christians. I am single, and I struggle with the rejection of the man that still has my heart. Recently he told me that I wasn't good enough for him, which shocked and hurt me deeply. Living alone is a silent pain, as everything is mostly by myself other than while I am at work. I know as a Christian I should reach out to help others, but how can I do that when I am damaged myself, to try to help someone else when I struggle myself.

On top of it all, my Dad is dying. We don't know when his time will come, but what he has is terminal. He has been steadily going down hill since 2009. I don't have a great relationship with him, yet I try. I wasn't raised with him as he gave up custody when I was 12, so my sisters and brothers have more of a stable relationship with him then I do. I desire to have one, but I know it will never been like theirs. Still, I am not ready to lose my Dad.

I don't have many friends and I am kind of stopped talking to them about my struggles, because face it, no one enjoys hearing about ones problems. So I keep them to myself mostly. Honestly, all my mother can say is that "You aren't the only one going through pains in life". I know I am not singled out with my issues, but I wish someone could understand why I cry myself to sleep at night. Why I am shy around people. It is sad that with most of my friends, I know all the important things in their lives, yet no one seems to know what is special or important to me.

I am just trying to find a way to cope or understand. I am not asking anyone to fix my problem. I guess I just wanted to post it, because there is no way, I could talk to my parents or even most of my close friends (the few that I have) how I have been feeling. I can't even talk to God, because I feel that my problems and issues are so trivial compared to others. I have received so many blessings. I have a job, a car, a home and food. I might not have children or a husbands, so I have no room to belly ache my desires to have a family to love and cherish. So I keep it to myself, as it is not important, as people's other issues.

Sorry,

Like I said. I don't look for anyone to fix my problems, as my problems are not necessarily as important as others, because they are trivial. Just wanted to try and get the pain, worry and the hurt out of my heart and my head. I thought it might help a little, because it is getting overwhelming for me.

~Shiloh

First your ex; is very foolish for saying you aren't good enough for him. Shiloh, you are a daughter of God, and sister to the King of Kings. By accepting Jesus as our Saviour, we become heirs to the family of God (Romans 8:14-17; Galatians 4:4-7) and Jesus is our Brother (Hebrews 2:11). And with thee promises of the Greatness of God on our side we are worthy of the very best, just by trusting and loving such a great God; for Jesus Christ was God the Father Hallmark Card to the World. For He care enough to send the very BEST--His Son for us.
He that spared not His Own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things.
Romans 8:32



Secondly your relationship with your earthly father, from the sounds of it is just as painful for you as it was for him. It sounds like you are the youngest in your family, and I know of hardly any dad that want to be separated from his children especially his youngest daughter. I don't know the whole story but do wonder if your father for is great love for you gave up custody because he knew it was the best thing for you, even those it was quit painful for him to do it.


Thirdly even though you may not have many friends remember that Jesus calls you His friend:'
13) Greater love hath no man than this, that a man laid down his life for his friends.
14) Ye are My friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you.
15) Henceforth I call you not servants: for the servant knoweth not what His Lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of the My Father I have made known unto you.
John 15:13-15
Even though you are going though trials and you don't think at times your problems amount to much to God. Remember that in Jesus we have not only a Brother but also the Friend that sticketh closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24). And we are commanded to bring all our cares to God.
Casting all your cares upon Him; for He careth for you.
I Peter 5:7
As His children are cares are so very important to our Heavenly Father.

Like you I'm still single but looking for the right woman, which so far God has not seen fit to send me, and I have you beat by a few years so in this I understand somewhat how you feel, but will be praying for you Shiloh.