Struggling with self-confidence

[ArmyWife08]

I'm sure there are some of us who struggle on a daily basis with issues they feel they will have to live with the rest of there lives. Mine is definately my self-esteem. I am so shy, it is very hard for me to talk to people especially to people in authority (My boss, my dad, "loud people") I care a lot about what people think of me and I always like to be a "people pleaser". I really tend to read into what people are saying the wrong way.

I pray about this everyday. I really find myself begging Jesus to change me because I'm just so sick of it. I know its so dangerous to be like that because than I am easily swayed away from the Lord.

What are some things all of you struggle with and what helps you each day to over come it?

 

[sweetlygrowing]

The confidence we is that we are God's children.
We can be assured we are special in God's sight and this causes us not to be boastful but humble knowing God cares for us.

 

[Giggles4God]

In order for Jesus to change us, we must allow Him to work in us. Our words must take action.

I still at times have a problem with my self-esteem. I am still overweight, but working on it, and I have a hard time believing God and others that I am beautiful and that I am worth something.

I look at Psalm 139 and that helps me. I remind myself that the lies about me come from satan and I say things like "You have no power here, satan. In Jesus' name, get behind me! In Jesus' name I command you to go."

Jesus has given us the authority. We need to use it.

 

[allygatorxx]

mee too

i am the same way, im a very quiet person because i am very afraid of being hurt. i dont like to open up to others because i dont want to be attacked. everyday i work a little bit with trying to open myself up its a very hard thing to do but if u take a new baby step everyday u will see things getting better in no time i promise you

 

[RPAB]

I have been though a trile (Hopefully the tail end of it tomorrow), and it took me away from every human bond. i can't trust anyone, cuz it's just suc a big mirical, and no one belives a mirical when it's right infront of them, cuz it's not humanly possible, or it;'s the exeption to the extream... I guess how i have gained more self confadence is, I had to get away from people, and stop compearing myself to them, so that I wasn't a people pleases. If I was a people pleases, my child would be dead right now, not passed 6 weeks... But since no one will belive me that this is happening to me, then I have to rely on God, and know that He knows it's happening to me, and since He is above all things, then why should I let humans dictate to me (Even going though mental health system it's that extream), if my child lives or dies? (The funny/ stupid thing is, they don't want to even look at finding a heart beat, it's that extream...)
Anyways, ya, I guess you have to distance yourself from people... And just spend time with God. Cuz humans are contrast, God isn't. You know, 10 people in a rom, 10 diffrent pinins. So which one do u follow exactly? The worldds a mess like that...
TRIGERS: At the same time as the media is saying r*pe, the tv shows are showing that 'every' b/f and g/f need to 'do it' and well, taht's how my r*pe happened. some guy wanted to be my b/f, and thought he 'had to do it' since 'we were b/f and g/f...)

The world is contrast... To teh extream... But at the same time, people want to be diffrent, but at the same time, they want to be the same... Sorry this is so heavy.

 

[Brighthouse]

For me Army Wife I strugle a lot over my flesh,its needs and wants are of course not always what Jesus wants for it.My flesh enjoys most of what it sees, pretty ladies,games to play on ps3, and just being lazy.

I to, like you had a big problem with what others thought of me,so much so back then, I would lie just to fit in,if someone was a good swimmer for example and I enjoyed there company,I went to find out all about the subject,then played as if I was a swimmer myself,which of course I was not.( Just an example, I do swim!! LOL) I was the biggest part of me.humm PrIde see? Pride has an I to it as well! I have to work hard daily on I. Making sure Jesus becomes my I. I am not at all perfect in doing this,but the point that I know it is one of my weakness helps to keep me in the Word,and work on getting the I out of me,and Jesus more and more in me!

I also did not think very much about me!! With good reason! But knowing a loving God lives in me now,helps me think, that if I do not think a little of me,I would think very little of Jesus who lives in me!

So to put myself in proper perspective, that which is good in me,Wisdom,knowledge of the Word,LOVE and giving,I point to Jesus in me,the flesh I point to all me! It is our daily struggle in Christ and ourselves isn't it? At least I would say so for me.(Eph 6:12 and Gal 5:17) we battle, and in so doing we examine ourselves daily as well.( 2 Cor 13:5) and in doing this, we allow Jesus in us to grow more, and our flesh less! It is a on going never ending work for me. I sure do not have all or even most answers in I,but through Jesus in me,I sure have a lot more! To which I am most thankful for!! amen.For as John the Baptist once said I must decrease,( John 3:30-31) and HE meaning Jesus must increase. Something I think on everyday for my own life. It is working!! Praise Jesus IN ME!! and never I again!

 

[smile]

Like you I also struggle with this and go to great lengths to please people. Like you I have a fear of opening up to people because I'am afraid of getting hurt or criticized. Something that helps me cope when I am in a situation where I feel intimidated (weather that be by a boss, friend etc.) is asking God to give me strength to face criticism gracefully. It is VERY difficult in the beginning but believe me it gets so much easier the more and more you ask God to help you out in these situations.

Reminds of this quote i once read "when the world tries to show me how big and strong it is, I look it in the face and show it how big and strong my God is"

 

[tirapet]

I struggle with the same "people pleasing" tendencies. The only one we should be concerned about pleasing is God. I know it's not easy, but you really shouldn't care what others say or think about you; you should be focused on what God says. Live for God. Follow through on His commandments and if people don't like it, then all the more power to you because it shows how you firmly stand by what you believe in and that you refuse to conform to society's secular standards.

However "people pleasers" tend to focus less on themselves therefore they typically won't have pride issues. Beware that with not enough self-confidence/esteem, you may end up being taken advantage of like that donkey in C. S. Lewis' final Narnia book.

I deal with this issue by not taking to heart what people say about me--or at least trying not to. I realize that I should be making God happy by showing his love to others and behaving in a Christian-like manner, which includes caring about others.

Pray to the Lord for confidence and peace. Stay strong in your faith!

 

[happyharold4]

Armywife---Try going to some midweek services where there are smaller numbers and usually there is more prayer time---Join a group of other women and sit in, you won't need to participate but just being there will give you more and more confidence as time goes on---Say to yourself repeatedly, "I can do all things through Christ..."---Just before I came to the Lord, I had spent 3 years of my life traveling the world without shelter and subject to natural environment on a daily basis---If it rained, I was wet---If it snowed, I was freezing cold---Never had a roof over my head for the entire journey---I was searching for the truth, but in doing so I became so sensitive and introverted that I could hardly look at people, much less speak with them--When I came back to the US and became a Christian, (long story-not needed here), I was so timid that I went to a small church, 3x's a week for a whole year and never looked up at one person---One of the problems I found about being in a big turtle shell like that was that I was quietly judging everything and everyone around me---As I realized this it was breaking my heart---The main verse the The Lord gave me to pull me out was Proverbs 28:1 "....But the righteous are as bold as a lion"---All of a sudden I realized I was righteous in Jesus and bamm the Holy Spirit was released in me to start doing His bidding through me---Even today I am a little reserved but I bring up that verse and it enables me to do what ever task I've been called to---And to this day I never enter a group of people, whether church, bible study, or other, even if I'm leading it without bowing my head before Jesus and praying, " Lord please protect these people from anything that is contrary in me "

Happy