Struggling...

[Tea4me]

I'm having a difficult time opening my heart to God. I want to truly believe but, past hurts, beliefs are holding me back.

I've been through alot of terrible things in my life. As a result of these things, its extremely hard for me to trust. Each time I have opened my heart to someone (whether it be relationship or friendship) I've been hurt, abused or used. For the most part, I have a difficult making friends and sometimes communicating with people. I have a horrible time communicating my feelings to others. So, I've become pretty much a loner. I guess I decided it was easier for me to be by myself and deal with the loneliness than put my heart out there to be stepped on again. When I have had someone good in my life, I have treated them badly and pushed them away. Because I think I don't deserved anything good in my life. Food has been my comfort, my best friend. On top of that I smoke almost 2 packs a day. I've had episodes of depression off and on majority of my life. One episode bad enough for me to be hospitalized in late 2006. I've found myself lately beginning to doubt God and pushing Him away. I feel I don't deserve Him or anything he can offer me.

I've always been someone that had to have 'material proof' before I could believe it. This was something that I was taught by my father growing up. So, with this comes more doubts.

I'm tired. I'm tired of stuggling and searching. This is why I think God is pulling at me.

Can anyone give me any advice, anything on how to just let go of all this?

 

[Boanerges]

Honestly- you need to put down those strongholds that are keeping you bound up and giving you a difficult time coming to the only One who can help.

Find some quiet time and prayerfully go through the following and you will find the freedom you seek:

Here is something that I find useful and I have never known anyone who has done this that did not experience a tremendous sense of freedom;

First starting with your earliest childhood memories think of each person in your life. Remember that we can only do one of two things at a given time, submit our hearts to God or submit our hearts to the God if this world.

Go over every detail you can remember and for each person pray this:
Father in Jesus Name I choose to forgive ____, if they knew your love they could have not acted like that. I can see now that they were responding out of a wounded heart and that they were in bondage and darkness. I now pray the blessing of salvation over ____ and I release them into Your hands.

Do this for each and every person in your life until yo have come up to the present. That leaves you one last person to pray for: Father in Jesus Name I forgive myself for _______. I now realize that it is impossible for me to lead a godly life without You. I now know that You see something precious in me and You sent Your Son to pay a terrible price for me. I accept Your forgiveness and inner healing and I yield those secret places I have held back from You. Fill me with Your Holy Spirit, flood all those empty places in my life.
Thank You Jesus for setting me free!

If you take the time do do this with an honest and open heart. If you ask the Holy Spirit to bring all these things into remembrance so that they may be dealt with forever - then you will know peace and fellowship with God.

 

[Br. Bear]

Greetings Tea4me,


I shall get back to you here after spending time in prayer.

in the meantime, may you know the Love the Lord loves you with, and will always want for you to know His Love.


People fail us.. we fail people... BUT, Jesus is Faithful and True,



Bless you sister ><>




Br. Bear

 

[lizabe]

Can anyone give me any advice, anything on how to just let go of all this?

Dear Tea4me
God says HE will bear all your yoke for which HE died on the cross.
So I suggest you start with first things first,
Word of God says::: God is not willing that any should perish but that all should come to REPENTANCE.; SO
Unleash all your concerns, hurts, past beleifs ALL to God in prayer, ask Him to forgive you for the wrongs you did in all these things, then tell HIM you want to live your life FRESH and NEW doing things HIS WAY. This is what REPENTANCE is about.

Then God will guide you to next step. You should encounter God while doing this.

Yours in Christ
Lizabe

 

[Tea4me]

Thanks everyone! I will definately follow the advice.

 

[Mustard_Seed]

Bless you Tea - some good advice has been given here, and I wont add to it.

But perhaps it would be worth pointing out that neither faith or hope have left you, that your questions and presence here are a wonderful sign of God working in your life right now.

He longs for you to trust Him, so that He can show you the meaning of love and keep you safely in His arms forever.

You are in my prayers lovely lady.

Blessings to you

 

[WithUsAlways]

Tea for me you will be in my prayers.
The thing is that your story reminds me of me before Christ.
I always felt alone and so found it hard to talk to people etc.
Then God bought me to Him.
I have never felt alone since putting my trust into Him.
God will never let you down Sister and I know it is hard to believe it now but you will look back on this and realise just how amazing He is.

You mentioned that you have to see to believe as that was they was you were raised but today is the day for change!
Open your heart to God and turn it around. We are all here for you to support you in any way. PM me if you need anything. We will be here for you and so will God.

Bless you Sister and may God be with you