All glory, honor and praise to YAHUVEH our Father and Lord Jesus Christ/YAHUSHUA. I want to share my testimony on how great a salvation God has wrought in my life.
I was born into an atheistic family in a culture of atheism. There was no knowledge of God in my upbringing and my life before conversion was an utter mess. My parents were hardcore atheists and they committed the sin of abortion under the One Child Policy. I do not know how much this sin contributed to the mess but it certainly opened a doorway to demonic influences in my family. Furthermore my father was a hot tempered man who practised palm reading, ancestry worship and lying. I am speaking all these in hindsight to the sins rampant in my family.
By the time I was in kindergarten, I was already witnessing domestic violence. My father had uncontrollable rage that would erupt whenever he quarrelled with my mother. This would result in things being smashed in the house, verbal abuse and threats being hurled and I was too young to do anything about it.
By the time my family migrated to another country when I turned 7, the conflicts between my parents only became worse from financial pressures. I was living in constant fear when the next quarrel would happen, and I especially feared my father because he terrified me during his fits of anger. I still remember once when I wanted to play chess with him but he just exploded in rage and threw the chessboard on the ground for no reason. There was nothing I have done to even provoke that kind of anger. He was also a controlling man who would use threats to get his way forced onto my mother and I.
Over the years I started getting resentment in my heart towards my father because he was always the first to turn things into violence and threats. I saw my mother as the victim and began to hate my father for the misery he brought onto us. I started cursing him and whoever I thought played a part in our misery in my heart and that is when hatred started taking root within me.
Outside of my family I was also facing ostracisation in school because I hold a Chinese passport and I was often on YouTube debating against people who spoke ill of my country. I did not understand why my country was so hated by those westerners and their words only stirred up more anger and hatred in me.
By the time I was 12 I was almost completely consumed by the evil that surrounded me. I became sadistic and started finding pleasure in torturing animals. I never killed any animal, thank God, but at that time evil so filled my heart I wanted to see how animals would react when I deprived them of air. I did it both to a dog and a cat raised by my uncle. Somehow that evil act brought me peace. I also pretty much hated the world and wanted it to be destroyed because everywhere I go I only saw and experienced evil. I was depressed and had no peace in my heart, without a doubt on the path to self destruction. Not a single person around me knew what was going on with me. I had no help from anyone.
But then God in His mercy called out to me when I turned 14. I was brought to this church program that talked about Jesus’ sacrifice on the Cross. It was the first time I heard about Jesus. Yet, despite not knowing what Jesus’ sacrifice meant, I felt touched. I felt a love I never even felt in my own family. At that very moment I literally felt that a heaviness was lifted from me. All that hatred and depression that I had in my heart for years was instantaneously gone. I weeped uncontrollably and wanted to know Jesus. So I accepted this faith that night.
Continued in next post.
I was born into an atheistic family in a culture of atheism. There was no knowledge of God in my upbringing and my life before conversion was an utter mess. My parents were hardcore atheists and they committed the sin of abortion under the One Child Policy. I do not know how much this sin contributed to the mess but it certainly opened a doorway to demonic influences in my family. Furthermore my father was a hot tempered man who practised palm reading, ancestry worship and lying. I am speaking all these in hindsight to the sins rampant in my family.
By the time I was in kindergarten, I was already witnessing domestic violence. My father had uncontrollable rage that would erupt whenever he quarrelled with my mother. This would result in things being smashed in the house, verbal abuse and threats being hurled and I was too young to do anything about it.
By the time my family migrated to another country when I turned 7, the conflicts between my parents only became worse from financial pressures. I was living in constant fear when the next quarrel would happen, and I especially feared my father because he terrified me during his fits of anger. I still remember once when I wanted to play chess with him but he just exploded in rage and threw the chessboard on the ground for no reason. There was nothing I have done to even provoke that kind of anger. He was also a controlling man who would use threats to get his way forced onto my mother and I.
Over the years I started getting resentment in my heart towards my father because he was always the first to turn things into violence and threats. I saw my mother as the victim and began to hate my father for the misery he brought onto us. I started cursing him and whoever I thought played a part in our misery in my heart and that is when hatred started taking root within me.
Outside of my family I was also facing ostracisation in school because I hold a Chinese passport and I was often on YouTube debating against people who spoke ill of my country. I did not understand why my country was so hated by those westerners and their words only stirred up more anger and hatred in me.
By the time I was 12 I was almost completely consumed by the evil that surrounded me. I became sadistic and started finding pleasure in torturing animals. I never killed any animal, thank God, but at that time evil so filled my heart I wanted to see how animals would react when I deprived them of air. I did it both to a dog and a cat raised by my uncle. Somehow that evil act brought me peace. I also pretty much hated the world and wanted it to be destroyed because everywhere I go I only saw and experienced evil. I was depressed and had no peace in my heart, without a doubt on the path to self destruction. Not a single person around me knew what was going on with me. I had no help from anyone.
But then God in His mercy called out to me when I turned 14. I was brought to this church program that talked about Jesus’ sacrifice on the Cross. It was the first time I heard about Jesus. Yet, despite not knowing what Jesus’ sacrifice meant, I felt touched. I felt a love I never even felt in my own family. At that very moment I literally felt that a heaviness was lifted from me. All that hatred and depression that I had in my heart for years was instantaneously gone. I weeped uncontrollably and wanted to know Jesus. So I accepted this faith that night.
Continued in next post.
