The shame of being so overweight

[Rachel15]

I started overeating after I had my son 13 years ago - i got post-natal depression and didn't care for myself very well and got very anxious and comfort ate. I hated the way my body changed after having a baby - i lost all tone and ended up with loose skin.

Then things went from bad to worse (I wasn't a Christian) and I got a severe form of depression (with psychoses) and my marriage broke down, we lost our home through debt and I had quite a lot of breakdowns and hospital admissions. Because of all this I was put on really strong medication which made me put on a lot of weight really quickly.

Finally, I became a Christian several years ago and God has healed me of the psychoses but I'm still recovering from the depression and now have this awful weight problem. I need to lose 10 stone.

The trouble is I still struggle with inappropriate eating - I'm looking at this with a psychologist and it seems to be due to difficult thoughts and emotions. I know that God can use non-Christians to help and certainly this seems to be the case, but progress is so slow!

I've just got to the point where I am ashamed to go to church, go swimming, or go out socially. Recently when I've prayed I've felt so sad it's been really painful and to be honest I've wanted to avoid the sadness. Also, I know that this mess isn't God's fault at all but I think I'll look like I'll need plastic surgery if I lose the weight and I don't think God will approve of that so I guess I'm kind of avoiding prayer because of that reason too.

At church there are only a couple of ladies my size. About a year or so ago my life group leader encouraged me to go to a women's meeting about weight-loss and the female Pastor spoke about greed and gluttony being sinful and about having self-control. But she was ever so slim and didn't look like she'd ever struggled herself and I couldn't relate to what she was saying - it just felt like another reason to feel bad about yourself. I'm sure she meant well - but it didn't seem to meet me where I was at.

Is there anybody out there who understands this problem? What can I do to firm up in the privacy of my own home? Will it be ok if I have plastic surgery after I've lost the weight or is this just vanity? It just feels like I'm being punished if I have to have saggy skin for the rest of my life and can't do anything about it. It gets me down so much and to be honest I was hoping I might meet someone in the future but I don't believe it's going to happen with a body like this.

 

[SpiritLedEd]

Have you ever looked into the Weight Watchers program? They use a mentoring system whereby dieters hold each other accountable as a help in sticking to the program.

If you Google Weight Watchers, you'll see a link to their United Kingdom website. Check it out.

SLE

 

[Janie]

Hi Rachel,
First of all I want to say that you're God's child and He loves you very dearly just as you are, so please don't feel ashamed. We all have things about ourselves we'd like to change - you're not alone. Remember, you are the beloved daughter of a King.
As for losing weight in your home, there is an Australian mum who invented the 'clothesline diet.' Every day, she would walk around the outside of her clothesline (I assume she had a hills-hoist), walking more and more laps as she started to feel more capable. She felt too embarrassed to walk in public, so she came up with this idea so she could exercise without leaving her backyard. She also had a calorie-counted diet, but attributes a lot of her weight-loss to the 'clothesline' walking. I think she lost nearly 70 kilos on this diet. I don't know if this is practical for you but there might be a variation you can make up to suit yourself.
I'll pray for you and for your thoughts and emotions.
Janie

 

[Rachel15]

Have you ever looked into the Weight Watchers program? They use a mentoring system whereby dieters hold each other accountable as a help in sticking to the program.

If you Google Weight Watchers, you'll see a link to their United Kingdom website. Check it out.

SLE

Thanks for your reply. I have tried weightwatchers online, and also another diet club called Rosemary Conley and another one called Slimming World. Actually, I've just found an on-line site for combatting emotional eating which is from the US by a psychiatrist and looks really good so I've signed up to it. I did the trial session and already discovered that in one relationship I was eating to block out feelings of powerlessness, which I never realised on my own before. In my upbringing I had emotional neglect and abuse, so this could be why I've not had a healthy way of dealing with my emotions. Hopefully this'll help.

 

[Rachel15]

Hi Rachel,
First of all I want to say that you're God's child and He loves you very dearly just as you are, so please don't feel ashamed. We all have things about ourselves we'd like to change - you're not alone. Remember, you are the beloved daughter of a King.
As for losing weight in your home, there is an Australian mum who invented the 'clothesline diet.' Every day, she would walk around the outside of her clothesline (I assume she had a hills-hoist), walking more and more laps as she started to feel more capable. She felt too embarrassed to walk in public, so she came up with this idea so she could exercise without leaving her backyard. She also had a calorie-counted diet, but attributes a lot of her weight-loss to the 'clothesline' walking. I think she lost nearly 70 kilos on this diet. I don't know if this is practical for you but there might be a variation you can make up to suit yourself.
I'll pray for you and for your thoughts and emotions.
Janie

Thanks Janie, I appreciate you posting. Actually, I've just put in my other reply that I've been awake tonight and found an on-line course for emotional overeating. It looked really good so I've paid and signed up. I really hope this'll help.

 

[Faithful Son]

Hi Rachel, the advice you received from SLE and Janie is very good indeed. Unfortunately I don't know much about exercise, but maybe we can discuss your emotional problems?

I realize you are busy working together with a person skilled in emotional issues, and I am quite sure you'll get to a point where your emotional problems are past tense.

I have some spiritual advice for you, regarding depression and your emotions.

Let's look at what Jesus told us, now for other people that may have read my responses to other threads recently may have noticed that I am quoting this part of Bible alot. The reason I do it is because I think it has so much power.

Matthew 5:1-12

1Now when he saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, 2and he began to teach them saying:
3"Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
5Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
6Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
7Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
8Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
9Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God.
10Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Matthew 5:33-37

33"Again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not break your oath, but keep the oaths you have made to the Lord.' 34But I tell you, Do not swear at all: either by heaven, for it is God's throne; 35or by the earth, for it is his footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. 36And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. 37Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one

The first part speaks for itself, the second as well, but we need to read it with thoughtfulness. Jesus said we shouldn't make promises, never, let our yes be our yes etc...

I believe when you are busy exercising, do not say to yourself, I am going to lose 10stone, rather ask Jesus to help you with the exercise. Ask Him to give you energy, strength and a passion for working out.

Ask Him to help you with the depression, I'm not saying you never have, you may have, but make it a daily request from God. I have suffered from depression for 5 years of my life, I am only 22 years old. I have been delivered with the help of medication. But I believe Jesus took it away, the reason I say that is because clinically the medication I am taking is not actually subscribed to depressed people, it's for another pshycological problem, but it took my depression away, now that could only be Jesus!

The doctors don't believe me if I say I'm not depressed, neither do my family, but I know.

This life, this journey we are on is not for the sake of ourselves. It is for the Son of God. We are living this life, this Christian life to become more like Jesus. Everyday we should become more like Jesus, but we can't do that on our own, He does it for us, He leads us and guides us, through the narrow, not the wide.

I pray you will motivated and inspired to seek Jesus with a full heart and mind. I pray that you will start seeking His face and His presence through prayer and Bible study.

I pray for you Rachel, God bless your heart.

Much love
teraside

 

[Rachel15]

Hi Rachel, the advice you received from SLE and Janie is very good indeed. Unfortunately I don't know much about exercise, but maybe we can discuss your emotional problems?

I realize you are busy working together with a person skilled in emotional issues, and I am quite sure you'll get to a point where your emotional problems are past tense.

I have some spiritual advice for you, regarding depression and your emotions.

Let's look at what Jesus told us, now for other people that may have read my responses to other threads recently may have noticed that I am quoting this part of Bible alot. The reason I do it is because I think it has so much power.

Matthew 5:1-12

1Now when he saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, 2and he began to teach them saying:
3"Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
5Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
6Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
7Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
8Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
9Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God.
10Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Matthew 5:33-37

33"Again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not break your oath, but keep the oaths you have made to the Lord.' 34But I tell you, Do not swear at all: either by heaven, for it is God's throne; 35or by the earth, for it is his footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. 36And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. 37Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one

The first part speaks for itself, the second as well, but we need to read it with thoughtfulness. Jesus said we shouldn't make promises, never, let our yes be our yes etc...

I believe when you are busy exercising, do not say to yourself, I am going to lose 10stone, rather ask Jesus to help you with the exercise. Ask Him to give you energy, strength and a passion for working out.

Ask Him to help you with the depression, I'm not saying you never have, you may have, but make it a daily request from God. I have suffered from depression for 5 years of my life, I am only 22 years old. I have been delivered with the help of medication. But I believe Jesus took it away, the reason I say that is because clinically the medication I am taking is not actually subscribed to depressed people, it's for another pshycological problem, but it took my depression away, now that could only be Jesus!

The doctors don't believe me if I say I'm not depressed, neither do my family, but I know.

This life, this journey we are on is not for the sake of ourselves. It is for the Son of God. We are living this life, this Christian life to become more like Jesus. Everyday we should become more like Jesus, but we can't do that on our own, He does it for us, He leads us and guides us, through the narrow, not the wide.

I pray you will motivated and inspired to seek Jesus with a full heart and mind. I pray that you will start seeking His face and His presence through prayer and Bible study.

I pray for you Rachel, God bless your heart.

Much love
teraside

Thanks for your reply teraside. I've tried to understand Matt 5:1-12 but have found it a bit challenging - it's the part about being poor in spirit especially that I've had trouble understanding. I did have it explained to me once but I didn't really get it. Do these scriptures mean that basically we're going to suffer a lot on earth, but be blessed in heaven? (sorry if I'm being slow on this)

Thanks for drawing my attention too to Matt 5 33-37 - I never thought about that in relation to trying to lose so much weight. It sounds like really good advice about just asking Jesus to help me each day with a passion and energy for exercise - i will try that for sure.

I will also try making a daily request to God for help with the depression and motivation (since it's that aspect that I most struggle with).

I prayed for a short while yesterday - it'll be good to get back into scriptures again too.

With my psychologist it's come up that throughout my upbringing I wasn't allowed to express certain emotions (so far anger and disappointment have been identified) because they made my parents hostile towards me (they're non-Christians) from a young age.

Anyway, thanks for your help and prayer - I really appreciate it. I'm glad that Jesus has taken away your depression.

God bless,

Rachel

 

[Faithful Son]

Let me try and answer your question regarding being poor in Spirit Rachel, I believe Jesus has the answer, He said we have to be like children.

Matthew 18

The Greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven

1At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?"
2He called a little child and had him stand among them. 3And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

5"And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me. 6But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.

I think if Jesus said we are poor in Spirit, it does not necessesarily mean we have to suffer, although it could be part of it, I believe it has to do with our spirit condition, the way we perceive things, especially thoughts and emotions, I think we have to simplify our understanding, but always remember that we have to eat meat.

What I mean by eating meat, we have to give room for God's Word to pierce our hearts, we have to acknowledge the great impact of God, His message of Salvation and the Bible.

I believe being poor in spirit is now, in the present, we have to fall and rise, die each day as Paul said, die to sin and live for Christ.

Much love
God bless
teraside

 

[calluna]

Hi Rachel, I join in with everyone here with the encouragement and prayers for you. Be gentle with yourself, take small stepping stones, a little at a time. Take courage and have faith.

'Faith is the substance of things hoped for. The evidence of things not seen' Hebrews 11:1.

I know things may look bleak regarding the weight and the excess skin, and hoping to find future love, but Right now I encourage you to seek the Lord, He will provide all your needs, whatever emotion you maybe experiencing, sad, happy or indifferent, trust Jesus. He is there 24/7 and wants us to give everything to Him.

I believe counselling is good up to a certain point, but sometimes dragging up the past and trying to figure out why we do certain things, is not going to solve anything. I have had non-Christian counselling in the past and it helped somewhat but Christ is the ultimate solution, He is who healed me in the end, it is He who will heal your mind and soul also. He is the healer and comforter. He heals all wounds and past hurts.

Jeremiah 30:17 'But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds, declares the Lord.......'

Remember You are now a new creation in Christ, the old is gone, the new has come. 2Corinthians 5:17.


God Bless you Rachel

Calluna

 

[Rachel15]

Thanks Calluna and Teraside - I appreciate your support :girl_hug:

 

[hopefulson]

We are for you.

Rachel I know there are many people that are struggling and I know this is personal and difficult. Please know that all here who have read this will have you in their hearts. Our hearts are with you. When you win this battle you will hear us all cheer!!!

 

[Rachel15]

Thanks hopefulson, I really appreciate that - I guess I wanted a 'miracle' cure but it seems as though God wants me to walk through this one step at a time.