The Struggle With Unforgiveness

[Chad]

The Struggle With Unforgiveness
Charles Stanley

Ephesians 4:30-32

All of us have been hurt at one time or another, and the offender may well have been someone we love. We often attempt to get past the pain of such situations with comments like, "That's okay" or "Don't worry about it," and yet we just can't seem to shake that penetrating sting. Why aren't we able to let it go?

One reason that we struggle with unforgiveness is a simple matter of pride. Why don't we forgive? "Because that person hurt ME!" we cry. As a result of our offended pride, the injustice grows much greater than we should allow. It becomes an issue of personal insult rather than an honest mistake or flash of insensitivity.

Another factor in our unforgiveness is bitterness. We become resentful when we refuse to deal honestly with hurt feelings and then allow the matter to fester in our heart. A growing sense of irritation spreads through our spirit like an infection. It has been rightly said that bitterness is like a poison that you prepare for someone else and then drink yourself. While it silently destroys our life, the person who hurt us may remain completely unaware of our dark feelings.

Finally, we struggle with unforgiveness because we often have a poor idea of what it is all about. Or, we might be sitting around waiting for an apology that may never come.

If you have been hurt recently, pray for the strength and honesty to approach the offender and say, "You did this and it hurt me. But I love you and refuse to allow this to destroy our relationship."

 

[Ann]

This is some of the wisdom that I've learned about forgiveness that I want to share with you:

If you truly love you will truly forgive. The harder it is for you to forgive, the further you are from true love. To forgive is essential, or you will stumble, and in many ways will stray from the course chosen for you.

Forgiveness doesn’t make the other person right, it makes me free.

He who cannot forgive others destroys the bridge over which he himself has to walk; every person has a need for forgiveness.

If we do not forgive others, we cannot really participate in the blessings of God’s forgiveness of us. Only when we let God’s pardon continue its flow right on through us are we set free.

Forgiveness means bearing, without malice, the consequences of the offender’s actions!!! That is what Jesus did: “Not only did He pay the debt of our sin by dying in our place, but He also bore the consequences of that sin by suffering the punishment we deserve”

Forgiveness is not an emotion. Forgiveness is an act of the will and the will of a person can function regardless of the temperature of the heart.

Forgiveness is in the first place a choice. People who live according to their emotions (and often don’t know this) find it very difficult to forgive. To be able to forgive, one must make a decision. This decision is easy if one remembers that Jesus, who has forgiven us for a lifetime of sin, admonished His disciples to forgive the person who trespassed against them.

Forgiveness is not minimizing the seriousness of the offence. It’s not saying: “It’s not a big deal, don’t worry about it – it didn’t hurt me that badly.” The truth is: if something needs to be forgiven, it did hurt you! It did cause pain and you don’t have to pretend it didn’t. Forgiveness is saying: “Yes, it did hurt. It did cause me pain. But I’m going to let it go. I’m not going to hold it against you.”

Forgiveness is an unconditional act of will that does not require the offender to ask for your forgiveness.

What is forgiveness?
1. Relinquishing my right to get even.
2. Responding to evil with good.
3. Repeating the process of forgiving as long as necessary.
4. Remembering how much I’ve been forgiven.

Blessings!

 

[lettheredeemed]

Forgiveness is a choice. Either we can chose to forgive or chose to sin.