I keep wanting to change church. I've been going to the same church on and off for several years and its not gone that great. I was really ill when i joined (with depression) and i'm a lot better now, but to be honest my view of the church is really coloured by my experiences of the past few years and being ill. Also at times i felt let down by things that happened at or through the church when i was in a previous group. Although i'm no longer in that group, I want to move on.
However, my new group leader was away with her family for quite a lot of the summer and recently, not wanting to go to church, i went to this other church i like and spoke to an elder there about joining. I'm meant to be meeting him Tuesday.
BUT i shared this with my leader this evening and she is not happy. She is disappointed and said that she doesn't want to make it easy for me to go - that if i'm determined she will meet with the elder, but that she doesn't think its the right time. She is a very caring person and said that pastorally she doesn't want to let me go without making sure i am 'looked after' by someone else. Also she said this is really important - about where to be in the body of Christ.
Another issue is that i've befriended her and her foster daughter - and she said, which i guess i should have given more thought to, that her foster daughter wouldn't understand and would find it difficult.
I've been in a mess with this issue for ages. I realised a couple of weeks ago that i'd lost confidence in the church i go to. In addition, i don't have many relationships with people there, despite trying, whereas when i've been to the other church there are so many people to talk to.
I've prayed about it, but here i am confused, i think i hear God telling me to stay at my church one minute and the next minute i think He's saying to go to this other church. Both can't be right.
What does seem to be the case is that at my present church i've met quite a lot of people with problems and some who've been struggling as Christians or with people at the church, and at the other church i've visited people are so friendly that they go out of their way to sit with you and pray with you.
Now i realise i've been selfish not thinking more about my leader's feelings and that of her foster daughter, but i often have to really psych myself up to go to my church and this has been going on for a long time.
Please dear Jesus speak to me about where i should be.
However, my new group leader was away with her family for quite a lot of the summer and recently, not wanting to go to church, i went to this other church i like and spoke to an elder there about joining. I'm meant to be meeting him Tuesday.
BUT i shared this with my leader this evening and she is not happy. She is disappointed and said that she doesn't want to make it easy for me to go - that if i'm determined she will meet with the elder, but that she doesn't think its the right time. She is a very caring person and said that pastorally she doesn't want to let me go without making sure i am 'looked after' by someone else. Also she said this is really important - about where to be in the body of Christ.
Another issue is that i've befriended her and her foster daughter - and she said, which i guess i should have given more thought to, that her foster daughter wouldn't understand and would find it difficult.
I've been in a mess with this issue for ages. I realised a couple of weeks ago that i'd lost confidence in the church i go to. In addition, i don't have many relationships with people there, despite trying, whereas when i've been to the other church there are so many people to talk to.
I've prayed about it, but here i am confused, i think i hear God telling me to stay at my church one minute and the next minute i think He's saying to go to this other church. Both can't be right.
What does seem to be the case is that at my present church i've met quite a lot of people with problems and some who've been struggling as Christians or with people at the church, and at the other church i've visited people are so friendly that they go out of their way to sit with you and pray with you.
Now i realise i've been selfish not thinking more about my leader's feelings and that of her foster daughter, but i often have to really psych myself up to go to my church and this has been going on for a long time.
Please dear Jesus speak to me about where i should be.
