To Marry or not to marry?

[Truehearts]

If a Christian guy accidentally got a non-Christian lady pregnant, should he marry her?

Please I need to have broad explanations here...
...urgent!

:sad-animated:

 

[rizen1]

Marriage should not be used as a solution for mistakes.

They should seek counselling from a church minister, No body on this forum knows them personally to say..."yes they should get married ".

Some might say " they made their bed, now they must lie "

I would love for them to get married but, marriage is a big step, I don't know their circumstances or history.

Please I need to have broad explanations here...
...urgent!

You need to be a friend to him/her right now, no lecture, just encouragement and love.

counselling from a minister is the best way to go, then that decision can be made.

 

[shingie]

That`s a good question my sister in Christ. I think this will help you

WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT...
FORNICATION?
1 Corinthians 6:18-20 & 1 Corinthians 7:1-2

"Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's. Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband."

The dictionary meaning of the word "fornication" means any unlawful sexual intercourse including adultery. In the Bible the Greek definition of the word "fornication" means to commit illicit sexual intercourse. What constitutes unlawful sex? Whose laws do we live by? Worldly standards or laws many times do not always line up with the Word of God. The founding fathers of the United States established many laws that were originally based on Christian standards and the laws of the Bible. However, through time the United States has drifted far from these standards and at the present our moral standards are shocking the world. However, immorality is not only found in the U.S. but is a world-wide epidemic. Societies throughout history and around the globe have embraced sexual standards that are called sins in the Bible.

Fornication is not just tolerated in our society but is actually being encouraged. The sin of fornication is being committed even among Christians, as many couples "live together" and have sex before marriage. The Bible tells us to flee this sin. We have counseled Christians of the opposite sex who share an apartment and they told us they were not having sex so this surely wasn't wrong. The Bible declares these words in 1 Thessalonians 5:22-23:

"Abstain from all appearance of evil. And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ."

Our lives as Christians are a living witness to others and we cannot break the laws of God without hindering others from coming to Christ. We must live our lives in purity before a sinful and wicked world. We should not be living according to their standards but according to God's standard in the Bible. No couple should live together outside the bonds of marriage.

Many say they live together before marriage to see if they are compatible as they don't want to divorce. This may sound like a justifiable reason for committing the sin of fornication, but in God's eyes it is still sin. Statistics however, show that those who live together before marriage are more likely to get a divorce than those who do not. Living together shows a total lack of trust in God and a failure to commit to Him the choosing of a mate. Christians who are living in this situation are out of the will of God and need to repent and seek God as to whether this person is the right one for them. If it is God's will for them to be together they should marry. Otherwise, they need to change their living arrangements.

As Christians, the goal of any relationship should be to cause the people in our lives to love and know the Lord better. Living together is shameful and selfish as the parties do not care what others think or how they might affect their families and others. They are living to please their own lust and selfish desires. This type of life style is destructive and especially so for children whose parents are living a bad example before them. No wonder our children are confused about right and wrong when parents degrade the sanctity of marriage by living together out of wedlock. How can living together cause children to love and honor God when their parents break the laws of God before them because they are lustful?

Young people today need to be taught to abstain from sexual intercourse and remain pure virgins before marriage. So many problems in marriages today stem from the fact that they are not virgins when they marry. Young people are bringing wounded emotions and diseased bodies into their marriages because of prior promiscuous affairs. STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases) are so widespread that the statistics are shocking. There are 12 million new cases of STDs annually in the United states and 67% of these occur among persons under the age of 25. In fact, every year one out of six teens contracts an STD. 100,000 to 150,000 women become infertile each year as a result of STDs.¹ Others endure years of pain as some of these diseases are incurable. What a tragic price to pay for sexual sins. The Bible is right when it says fornication is a sin against one's own body.

The sin of fornication is not only defined as illicit sexual intercourse between those who are not married but also is an umbrella for other sexual sins as well. The Bible also speaks of the sin of incest as fornication in 1 Corinthians 5:1:

"It is reported commonly that there is fornication among you, and such fornication as is not so much as named among the Gentiles, that one should have his father's wife."


The Bible also lists whoremongers as fornicators in Revelation 21:8:

But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.


All prostitutes and pimps are fornicators. Couples who just "live together" according to the Bible, are committing the same sin that ****** commit. Singles who "make love" fall into the same category. Just because society has accepted this type of living does not make it right. The Bible must be our standard of what is right and wrong. We must change our standards if we do not want the wrath of God to fall on us. God hates sin but He loves the sinner. If anyone repents and calls on Jesus today He will help them to come out of any illicit relationship and heal them of all past hurts and even heal any disease that they may have contracted.

God gave us the laws in the Bible for our good. They are not meant to deny us any good thing but they are given so we can enjoy the proper sexual relationship in the proper time. If we obey the words of the Bible and "flee fornication" and glorify God in our bodies, the Lord will bless us beyond what we could believe.

Psalm 145:17-21: "The LORD is righteous in all his ways, and holy in all his works. The LORD is nigh unto all them that call upon him, to all that call upon him in truth. He will fulfil the desire of them that fear him: he also will hear their cry, and will save them. The LORD preserveth all them that love him: but all the wicked will he destroy. My mouth shall speak the praise of the LORD: and let all flesh bless his holy name for ever and ever."

 

[rizen1]

Ok guys lets just say, I slip....I met this guy he's not a christian and we have sex.
During the time of our relationship I believed he was going to convert, instead he starts doing drugs and drinking heavy.

I find out I'm pregnant...

I would not marry him...just to make the situation better. When he converts then we can talk marriage, if he's willing to change I'll think about it.

Its a child future at risk...mom loves Jesus and daddy has no beliefs, what kind of foundation is that.

We live in a non traditional society, Christian finding their spouses online, single parenthood is not taboo as before. I don't think in all situations marriage is the solution.

If they do get married , he have to tell this girl...The child will be raised in a Christian House.

Hope I dont offend anyone, but the divorce rate is very high. So we need to pray that this girl finds Jesus, that the guy is getting Godly counsel.

 

[trucker]

Marry or not to marry

Great question. The issue here is the child. If this couple chooses not to marry, then the male and female MUST support that child if they choose not to marry! The couple may have made a mistake and had sexual relations outside of marriage, but the baby is an innocent bystander.

This is why the Word of God is so specific about sex outside of marriage. When a male and female come together sexually, they can create an eternal being who must be taken care of and raised to know Christ. So many children are put into situations because the parents did not take precautions while having sex. If you are going to disobey God and have sex outside of marriage then at least use a means of birth control so a child is not conceived.

If you are going to take the responsability of having sex, then you must be responsible for ALL the consequences that come from making that decision.

Marriage is a huge step and you do not just marry to try and "Quick Fix" the problem. If the couple decides to marry, then I suggest they get in a good counseling sessions and learn to love one another if they choose that route. They must bring Christ into their relationship and their indivdual lives. Both parties MUST be responsible for raising that child or putting that child up for adoption so that child will be raised in a responsible home.

Saints, please do not put yourself in a situation where your sexual desires get out of hand. There is more at stake here than getting a sexual release, a child can be born and now, where will he end up at the end of his or her life? Heaven or Hell?

God created sex, its wonderful, but ONLY in the confines of the marriage bed! Let me qualify, YOU AND YOUR SPOUSES marriage bed, not your neighbors!!!!!

 

[Brother Mike]

To marry or not to marry.

shingie quoted:

"Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication.........................

Nice post and all, but it may be a little late for that fleeing part. The questions was about getting married or not after the sin.

Truehearts: There are no scriptures. ZERO, that says we are forced to marry anyone. That's old tradition, that we must do the right thing and marry. It's a wives tale. Doing so would put someone under bondage and that's not the goal of our Lord. So, if anyone tells you different ask them to show you scripture. They will not be able to.

God never made any provisions for sin but one. He said you will not commit adultery, He said flee fornication. He never went on to say, just in case you mess this up then you need to go to plan B. There is no plan B. Just plan A and that is The Blood of Jesus washes away all sin.

If the guy were to marry this non christian girl then they break another scripture by becoming unequally yoked. (A Christian that is in marriage with a non-Christian.)

rizen1 has the best answer to your question.

trucker said:

If you are going to take the responsability of having sex, then you must be responsible for ALL the consequences that come from making that decision.

NO, no, no, no!!! If we had to be responsible for our sin, we all would be looking forward to roasting in hell. The chastisment of our peace was upon him. IN other words, what we deserved as punishment, and consequence for sin was put all on Jesus. If we had to take the consequences of our sin then we would have to die. All sin leads to death. All sin, not just some of them. We would have to live under the curse of breaking the law, and that means death.

Every, culture and situation is different. The one that gave their life to Jesus is going to get all the grace in this situation. God has a solution to this problem and even can provide the means to the Christian for taking care of the new baby, if the Lord Directs.
So, don't marry, and find out what God wants to do. He is a master at fixing our messes.

Jesus Is Lord.

 

[trucker]

To marry or not to Marry

Brother Mike,

I agree one hundred percent that Jesus bore our sin on the cross. In fact he bore the sin of the world. HOWEVER, if you sin, there is a consequence. The sad part is Jesus paid for that sin. For example, if you go out and do a big piece of stupid and rob a bank as a Christian, you will pay a consequence. The consequence is Go to jail.

Though Jesus paid for our sins, past, present and future, sin still pays a wage. Rom 6: 23 tells us that the WAGES of Sin is death. Death means literal death and death in the sense that sin brings severe consequences into your life. Jesus died for the sin of fornication, but if you fornicate and have a child, the consequence is a baby. The baby is not evil, but if you plant a seed it will bloom. God says do not fornicate! Why? Because you are out of line with Gods word on sexual relations!

Sin is still sin and sin can bring destruction into your life. Your poor decisions bring about severe consequences. Jesus will walk with you when you make bad decisions and will always love you, but brother, if you do wrong, what you sow, you will reap!

I agree, marriage may not be the answer in this situation, but the consequence of this union has brought a baby on the scene. Now, married or not, both parties must take care of that baby or do all in their power to make arraignments for the care, feeding and shelter of that child so that that innocent party does not suffer the consequences of fornication by the parents. God has forgiven them, that is a given, he loves the parents, but he also expects them to do the right thing by that child.

God’s unconditional love does not stop the wages of sin. Just look around you, sin is abounding and there are severe consequences occurring on this earth due to people disobeying Gods word and his ways.

 

[rizen1]

If you are going to take the responsability of having sex, then you must be responsible for ALL the consequences that come from making that decision.

I agree with this statement 100%...society says we don't have to take up responsibility just have an abortion.

I say when you make your bed, in it you shall lie....The ony difference is God is going to be right there at the side of the bed comforting you.

The truth yes Jesus died for our sins, but when you commit murder you still have to face the judge, God will forgive you but that doesn't erase the consequences from your actions.

Truehearts I know all is well with your friend because he is being counsel.

 

[trucker]

Marry or not to Marry

The answer to this question about marrying or not, lies with both parties. They both must sit down, evaluate their relationship, talk about the importance of Christ in their lives and in marriage.

The bible does talk about not being unequally yoked with unbelievers ,but it also address situations where believers and unbelievers are married and how the believer sanctifies the marriage covenant. See I Corth 7: 1-17.

Again, the child born out of this union is a priority and what ever the couple excluding abortion do to insure that baby has a decent loving home is a decision they both must make.

 

[stephen]

If a Christian guy accidentally got a non-Christian lady pregnant, should he marry her?

Please I need to have broad explanations here...
...urgent!

:sad-animated:

Absolutely.....He should marry her. If a girl is attractive enough to engage in this way......He should face the consequence. I would think that the lady loved him enough for such encounter.

He should stand by his association and affection and marry.

"It is better to marry than burn" Paul advised young men. This chap has been 'burning'. He needs now to stand up and be a man, and do what is right before God and men

 

[Brother Mike]

lets back up.

Well, lets back up. I may have come across a little wrong. The wages of sin is death. Jesus took that death out.

I never said this guy does not have to do right, and leave a mother all alone with no help from the daddy to raise the child.

I understand that if we Rob a bank, God will forgive us, but we can be forgiven while serving our jail sentence.

Trucker you stated that we must be responsible for all the consequences that come from the act we committed or in this case sex.

Once again. this is not true.

Romans 13 tell us not to break the law. If we break the law of man then we will pay the consequences for breaking that law. We can be forgiven though by God.

If he man has to pay child support by the law, then that would be a consequence of his action. There is nothing in the Bible or law of man that says he should marry her.

But when you use the word ALL consequences then we have a whole other topic to cover, and I think we are thinking at different levels.

The price of sin or disobeying the Word of God was Death. It brought all the curse of the law on you. Read Deut 28 and see the list of curses that came with sin. The curse was not designed to teach you something like some preach.

Deu 28:45 Moreover all these curses shall come upon thee, and shall pursue thee, and overtake thee, till thou be destroyed; because thou hearkenedst not unto the voice of the LORD thy God, to keep his commandments and his statutes which he commanded thee:

This is the result of sin. Read the whole chapter and you will see every sickness and disease listed. This is the consequence of sin!!!! This is what causes the death. Jesus has redeemed us from the curse of the law...... Gal 3:13

So, he does not have to suffer all the consequences.

He should only fulfill what the Law of he land requires. In the United States he would have to pay some type of child support if the mother took it to the proper agency's. He should not be bound by anything else when it comes to legal matters. He should also listen to the Spirit of God and get direction there. He is not bound to anything but what the law requires. God, upholds those laws.

He should not be responsible for any sin committed, that is under the blood, but what man's laws require. He is not the provider, but God is our provider. That woman needs God, not that man. Why should she have to deal with someone outside any child support that led her to sin? when he should have know better? This guy is not a keeper, if he is sleeping around with people that he is not married to. I doubt this guy would even be a good role model for the child if this is how far he has grown as a Christian.

It takes two folks, to make a Baby. God has a plan for each of those people and them being together might not be one of them.

God Bless.
Jesus Is Lord.

 

[comingjoy]

Father God I uplift this situation to You and YOU alone know what this couple needs to do. We are human and make mistakes. With each mistake we can repent and get right with You or not. We each have a choice to make. So Father I ask for clarity in this situation for the brother in Christ. I ask for the womens eyes to be opened and that You Father would reveal Yourself to her so that she would come to know YOU as her saviour. Be with this unborn child and place a hedge of protection around this child.
Father You know this whole situation so I ask for prayers to be answered and Your will to be shown. Thank You Father for Your forgivnesss, love and grace

 

[Brother Mike]

super!!

Amen sister, I am in agreement. My post looks silly now.

 

[SpiritLedEd]

"What God has put together let no man put asunder." (Mt 19:6)

I seriously doubt that any relationship that involves fornication is put together by God. It seems to me that marriages that evolve from fornication are doomed, because lust has been painted to look like love.

Of course the parents have moral and legal responsibilities where the baby's welfare is concerned and very difficult issues lie ahead for all involved to decide. I pray that all involved will be honest and open as they grapple with the issues. However, as a rule of thumb, I don't believe that marriage is the answer in situations like this because marriages mandated by religious laws in this day and age seldom produce truly healthy families.

SLE

 

[Akinbowale]

If a Christian guy accidentally got a non-Christian lady pregnant, should he marry her?

Please I need to have broad explanations here...
...urgent!

:sad-animated:

One of the causes of unhappy home and painful union is the unequal yoke together with an unbliever. A so called "born again christian" committing immorality with unbeliever? This is abnormal in the new testament christianity.It means 'such a believer so called' is not born again in the first instance or probably he has lost the salvation experience (ie the glory has departed from him). Because, "whatsoever is born of God overcommeth the world: this is the victory that overcommeth the world even our faith" (1John5:4).
As a backslider or church goer, he can marry her at his will since abortion is another crime before God. But a child of God who marry a child of the devil , he is certainly to have troubles with his fatherin-law. And when a christian man marries a lady who have connection with the mermaid spirit, he will have troubles with his mother in-law.

 

[Truehearts]

Thank you all do much for your replies... I would like you to know that as of now, they will be going counseling, the non-christian girl agreed, but no they will not be married... As to what will happen next... I really have faith that God will work through it. Please just pray that God will guide them in the counseling process and whatever result comes may also be the work of the Holy spirit. May all their confusion and fears be surrendered to Jesus... And may the girl with God's grace be saved through the counseling. Thanks again and God bless you all!!!

 

[Property Of God]

I strongly agree with sister rizen1, Marriage takes so much sweat and tears, let alone being forced into a marriage, you can't fix a mistake by another mistake and break another Godly law,

However, if this unsaved girl is interested in knowing Jesus that will be a different story, but until this is the case, they shouldn't be joined because of a baby, it's very sad and chances is they will not feel in love and they'll end up with a 3rd mistake, Divorce.

My only concern now is the baby and how they should find some middle ground to agree on for the child's best interest,

I really hope it'll work out with little losses.