I'm a new member here and I signed up because I needed fellowship. I don't do well in church because I don't find the youth ministry there to be people I could be friends with or have a fellowship with, and my university ain't helping me either -- I'm not a part of any Christian organization there 'cause I can't find the headquarters of Campus Crusade for Christ. Anyway, I am in total need of your help, fellow Christians -- especially now.
I don't know if 'torment' qualifies to be a part of the 'Demonic Dreams?' thread, because my problem is somewhat like that, however it extends to something more than just dreams.
You see, I'm a teenager and I used to love fantasy fiction (I don't anymore as I started to see fantasy fiction in a new light) and anime (regardless of the anime's content, except for hentai, of course). When I started watching FullMetal Alchemist, I started having awful nightmares but I just ignored them at first and they wore off. After finishing the 52-episode series, I watched its sequel, The Conqueror of Shamballa, and then when I slept the night I watched that, I had a really, really terrible dream.
The dream was about this non-human creature who appeared to be a completely innocent girl. And then she started to eat the right part of her face and her right arm (or was it the left? I don't remember), and then scooped blood out of her self-inflicted large, large wounds and drank it. It was horrifying and I was crying when I woke up. I suddenly figured it was connected to the FMA series as it had homunculi, non-human creatures (usually made from mandrake roots, according to myth) that can inflict injury upon themselves and not feel it or care.
A similar incident happened when I bought my first Death Note notebook. Death Note, as you may know, is the anime about this deranged Japanese teenager who sees himself as the "god of the new world" when he finds a notebook that allows a person to kill anyone he wants as long as he knows the victim's name and face. The notebook, called the Death Note according to Japanese mythology, comes from the Shinigami, gods of death. These Death Notes are what the Shinigami use to kill people.
I never used my Death Note notebook, though. It was far too frightening as using it may make me a murderer.
From the time I bought the notebook, I started having bad dreams, although they weren't as bad as the FMA dream, but they were still bad. I decided to give up the notebook even if it cost a lot.
And now, well, for the past few weeks I've started liking the Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling. I know it's not proper and good for Christians, as God detests sorcery and the like. I see that clearly now, but during the past few weeks I obviously didn't.
I figured, since C.S. Lewis' Narnia series (the Narnia series appears to be a Biblical allegory) and the Tolkien LOTR trilogy are supported by many Christians, and they've all got magic in them, what on Earth must be wrong with Harry Potter?
So I looked up HP and I've found out that it wasn't so bad compared to Narnia or LOTR -- only that it's got more wizards and less elves and dwarfs.
My dad doesn't allow me to read the HP series, but he did allow me to read Narnia and LOTR. So I figured it must be fair that I read the HP series too, as it wasn't anything different from Narnia and LOTR at all.
I started watching the HP movies, without reading the books, and I was right -- it wasn't any different: Dumbledore is to Gandalf, etc etc.
And then I started having bad dreams again. It wasn't really anything like the FMA or the Death Note dreams, it was just light-sleeper-ness -- I kept waking up in the middle of the night for no apparent reason. I lost peace.
And when I was already up, I can't go back to sleep quickly, and I kept being afraid of the sounds going on outside of the house. There wasn't any specially scary sound but the flapping of birds' wings or batwings or the howling of trees, but still.
Since I hadn't had much sleep during those nights, I eventually got tired everyday and I was barely any help around the house. I couldn't move my body much because it was lacking rest.
Furthermore, when I'm awake, now this is my main problem -- I feel perfect torment. It's just the sort that you lack peace and you feel scared of something and you know what it is but you just don't know how you'd start to attack it and that you feel so alone and you just wanna cry and go to God and hug Him and have Him hug you back so tight, literally, so that you'd get the sense of security.
Now, maybe you'd all get the idea that it was Harry Potter that caused this, but I don't think it's the only thing that caused this -- although one of my dreams had a vivid image of Nagini, Voldemort's rotten pet snake, following me around this strange white wooden maze-like house.
I started looking up things regarding C.S. Lewis and Tolkien. Now I don't mean to mess up their reputation to you guys as I respect them a lot, it's just that I've found several things that totally make Lewis lose credibility as a Christian. I didn't really take the sources' persuasive rhetoric into consideration -- what I did take was quotes from Lewis from his books and whatsoevers. It turns out Lewis has several beliefs that have been totally twisted by his fascination with pagan mythology.
I was right. Harry Potter and Narnia and LOTR aren't at all different: a bunch of sorcery and magic here and there, with good wins over evil here and there, and several Christian values here and there. It still had sorcery nonetheless.
I used to love Greek mythology and regular fairy tales but when I found this issue about Lewis, I decided to give up those fairy tales and all as I do not want to have faith twisted with fascination.
And now I see how it is to be truly Christian: to follow God all the way through -- no detours or shortcuts or stops-at-anywhere or my-very-own-routes. It's God's map, God's directions, God's will -- my life belongs to Him and Him alone and it should be like that, no matter how nice the things the world offers appear to be.
I began to be depressed about Lewis and for my love of fantasy fiction. The torment became worse. The light-sleeper-ness wore off, however, thank God.
Now I know what I have to do: give up fantasy fiction. And that's exactly what I'll do. The thing is, I can't give up the Narnia books. I've grown up with them and this is the only time they're bothering me. Even Disney's Snow White bothered me once, but now it totally doesn't. I don't really know what to do with Narnia. Harry Potter doesn't bother me as much as Narnia anymore because I've lost taste for the world of magic (and the Potter series became boring when the kids started to be romantically involved with people). All I want is for this torment to completely end.
Please give me some advice, with reference to the Bible, if you may. Please, just please. And very sorry for the very long message. Thanks a lot and God bless you people. =)
P.S.: Satan is perfectly dreadful: after my decision to give up fantasy fiction, he started tormenting me with temptation. Ever since I was a young kid I've had this problem with sexuality (I'm no pervert, I assure you, it's just that seeing porn makes me sin - a lot.)... He gives me visions of naked women and men and the like -- ugh. Disgusting. Please don't judge me as a sad perverted girl, because I'm not. It's just torment and it sucks.
I don't know if 'torment' qualifies to be a part of the 'Demonic Dreams?' thread, because my problem is somewhat like that, however it extends to something more than just dreams.
You see, I'm a teenager and I used to love fantasy fiction (I don't anymore as I started to see fantasy fiction in a new light) and anime (regardless of the anime's content, except for hentai, of course). When I started watching FullMetal Alchemist, I started having awful nightmares but I just ignored them at first and they wore off. After finishing the 52-episode series, I watched its sequel, The Conqueror of Shamballa, and then when I slept the night I watched that, I had a really, really terrible dream.
The dream was about this non-human creature who appeared to be a completely innocent girl. And then she started to eat the right part of her face and her right arm (or was it the left? I don't remember), and then scooped blood out of her self-inflicted large, large wounds and drank it. It was horrifying and I was crying when I woke up. I suddenly figured it was connected to the FMA series as it had homunculi, non-human creatures (usually made from mandrake roots, according to myth) that can inflict injury upon themselves and not feel it or care.
A similar incident happened when I bought my first Death Note notebook. Death Note, as you may know, is the anime about this deranged Japanese teenager who sees himself as the "god of the new world" when he finds a notebook that allows a person to kill anyone he wants as long as he knows the victim's name and face. The notebook, called the Death Note according to Japanese mythology, comes from the Shinigami, gods of death. These Death Notes are what the Shinigami use to kill people.
I never used my Death Note notebook, though. It was far too frightening as using it may make me a murderer.
From the time I bought the notebook, I started having bad dreams, although they weren't as bad as the FMA dream, but they were still bad. I decided to give up the notebook even if it cost a lot.
And now, well, for the past few weeks I've started liking the Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling. I know it's not proper and good for Christians, as God detests sorcery and the like. I see that clearly now, but during the past few weeks I obviously didn't.
I figured, since C.S. Lewis' Narnia series (the Narnia series appears to be a Biblical allegory) and the Tolkien LOTR trilogy are supported by many Christians, and they've all got magic in them, what on Earth must be wrong with Harry Potter?
So I looked up HP and I've found out that it wasn't so bad compared to Narnia or LOTR -- only that it's got more wizards and less elves and dwarfs.
My dad doesn't allow me to read the HP series, but he did allow me to read Narnia and LOTR. So I figured it must be fair that I read the HP series too, as it wasn't anything different from Narnia and LOTR at all.
I started watching the HP movies, without reading the books, and I was right -- it wasn't any different: Dumbledore is to Gandalf, etc etc.
And then I started having bad dreams again. It wasn't really anything like the FMA or the Death Note dreams, it was just light-sleeper-ness -- I kept waking up in the middle of the night for no apparent reason. I lost peace.
And when I was already up, I can't go back to sleep quickly, and I kept being afraid of the sounds going on outside of the house. There wasn't any specially scary sound but the flapping of birds' wings or batwings or the howling of trees, but still.
Since I hadn't had much sleep during those nights, I eventually got tired everyday and I was barely any help around the house. I couldn't move my body much because it was lacking rest.
Furthermore, when I'm awake, now this is my main problem -- I feel perfect torment. It's just the sort that you lack peace and you feel scared of something and you know what it is but you just don't know how you'd start to attack it and that you feel so alone and you just wanna cry and go to God and hug Him and have Him hug you back so tight, literally, so that you'd get the sense of security.
Now, maybe you'd all get the idea that it was Harry Potter that caused this, but I don't think it's the only thing that caused this -- although one of my dreams had a vivid image of Nagini, Voldemort's rotten pet snake, following me around this strange white wooden maze-like house.
I started looking up things regarding C.S. Lewis and Tolkien. Now I don't mean to mess up their reputation to you guys as I respect them a lot, it's just that I've found several things that totally make Lewis lose credibility as a Christian. I didn't really take the sources' persuasive rhetoric into consideration -- what I did take was quotes from Lewis from his books and whatsoevers. It turns out Lewis has several beliefs that have been totally twisted by his fascination with pagan mythology.
I was right. Harry Potter and Narnia and LOTR aren't at all different: a bunch of sorcery and magic here and there, with good wins over evil here and there, and several Christian values here and there. It still had sorcery nonetheless.
I used to love Greek mythology and regular fairy tales but when I found this issue about Lewis, I decided to give up those fairy tales and all as I do not want to have faith twisted with fascination.
And now I see how it is to be truly Christian: to follow God all the way through -- no detours or shortcuts or stops-at-anywhere or my-very-own-routes. It's God's map, God's directions, God's will -- my life belongs to Him and Him alone and it should be like that, no matter how nice the things the world offers appear to be.
I began to be depressed about Lewis and for my love of fantasy fiction. The torment became worse. The light-sleeper-ness wore off, however, thank God.
Now I know what I have to do: give up fantasy fiction. And that's exactly what I'll do. The thing is, I can't give up the Narnia books. I've grown up with them and this is the only time they're bothering me. Even Disney's Snow White bothered me once, but now it totally doesn't. I don't really know what to do with Narnia. Harry Potter doesn't bother me as much as Narnia anymore because I've lost taste for the world of magic (and the Potter series became boring when the kids started to be romantically involved with people). All I want is for this torment to completely end.
Please give me some advice, with reference to the Bible, if you may. Please, just please. And very sorry for the very long message. Thanks a lot and God bless you people. =)
P.S.: Satan is perfectly dreadful: after my decision to give up fantasy fiction, he started tormenting me with temptation. Ever since I was a young kid I've had this problem with sexuality (I'm no pervert, I assure you, it's just that seeing porn makes me sin - a lot.)... He gives me visions of naked women and men and the like -- ugh. Disgusting. Please don't judge me as a sad perverted girl, because I'm not. It's just torment and it sucks.