I struggle to find what and where is my calling to be and be at...
I would say no easy answer,.The fact you have a God given desire is where everyone begins. You are supplying a need even as you struggle .
All the spiritual gifts are two fold. God gives the desire to bring his word to one "the gift of prophecy as a aportle one sent with the word and the other he gives ears to hear the understanding of the prophecy ,The mutual faith of Christ working in all the believers spoken of in Romans 1
Romans1: 12 -17 That is, that I may be comforted together with you by the
mutual faith both of you and me. Now I would not have you ignorant, brethren, that oftentimes I purposed to come unto you, (but was let hitherto,) that I might have some fruit among you also, even as among other Gentiles. I am debtor both to the Greeks, and to the Barbarians; both to the wise, and to the unwise. So, as much as in me is, I am ready to
preach the
gospel to you that are at Rome also. For I am not ashamed of the
gospel of Christ: for it is the
power of God unto salvation to every one that
believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek. For therein is the righteousness of God revealed from
faith to
faith: as
it is
written, The just shall
live by
faith.
The mutual faith of Christ that works in all belivers is also shown working in that way below...
2 Corinthians 4:13 We having the same
spirit of faith, according as
it is written,
I believed, and therefore have I spoken; we also
believe, and therefore speak;
. Rest in Him he can make the struggle lighter. Widows and orphans cry out of loneliness . He has the power to to help sooth our anixities