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What is marriage

mhorgan24

Member
Joined
Mar 31, 2014
Messages
12
I have been with my girlfriend for 5 years now and we are talking about getting married. I am a widower and she is divorced. Neither of us believe at this point that we should need a license from the state to say that we are married. I suggested that we go to a mountaintop and pray to god to bless the union of us, and pray a bit more and we consider ourselves married. Am i crazy in this thinking?
 
I have been with my girlfriend for 5 years now and we are talking about getting married. I am a widower and she is divorced. Neither of us believe at this point that we should need a license from the state to say that we are married. I suggested that we go to a mountaintop and pray to god to bless the union of us, and pray a bit more and we consider ourselves married. Am i crazy in this thinking?

I prefer first and foremost that a marriage is between a man and a woman; you're clear on that as the bible goes.
As far as I can see, the Bible doesn't go into any detail what a marriage per se is but, it does talk a lot about weddings between a man and a woman.
It is great that you are concerned about God, it is nice that you are concerned about pleasing him and at the same time sticking to some principal you have.
Keep up the praying and follow what is in your heart and you will do what is right. If you are considering having children at some point, I would think about that and include them in your decision.
God Bless on your journey!
 
I have been with my girlfriend for 5 years now and we are talking about getting married. I am a widower and she is divorced. Neither of us believe at this point that we should need a license from the state to say that we are married. I suggested that we go to a mountaintop and pray to god to bless the union of us, and pray a bit more and we consider ourselves married. Am i crazy in this thinking?

I believe God requires legal recognition, eg license. The authorities are ordained of God, they are His representative, so it is best to be legally married:
Romans 13:1-2 13 Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.2 Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation.



 
Jesus didn't consider "shacking up" to be marriage.

John 4:16; He *said to her, “Go, call your husband and come here.”
John 4:17; The woman answered and said, “I have no husband.” Jesus *said to her, “You have correctly said, ‘I have no husband’;
John 4:18; for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; this you have said truly.”

Also should you ever divorce, the Bible requires a certificate of divorce.
( Mark 10:4; Matt 5:31; Jer 3:8; etc.. ) in the U.S. you can't get a divorce certificate unless you have been married.

Marriage is NOT fornication. What is the definition of fornication?
Merriam Webster says... fornication: - consensual sexual intercourse between two persons not married to each other
 
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I was merely asking if it was feasible to be married in the eyes of the church and of God, but not in the state. Why is it up to their piece of paper to decide that i am married. I am not questioning God, or any morality....more so the formality
 
I was merely asking if it was feasible to be married in the eyes of the church and of God, but not in the state. Why is it up to their piece of paper to decide that i am married. I am not questioning God, or any morality....more so the formality

Greetings @mhorgan24

This is an interesting article that you may like to read (I am not commenting on it's correctness or incorrectness but it certainly raises a few thoughts)

Truth In Living - Covenant Community Church - Education Station Whitehall, Montana

My husband and I went through a similar thought process before we were married.
We committed our love and lives to the Lord asking Him (not the state) to be the centre of our lives, this was the most beautiful bonding together in the Lord
We then proceeded to 'legally marry' to satisfy the requirements of the state

May the Lord lead you and bless you as you seek Him in these matters that His name may ever be glorified

Trust in the Lord and lean not to thine own understanding
In all Thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths
Proverbs 3:5-6
 
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I have been with my girlfriend for 5 years now and we are talking about getting married. I am a widower and she is divorced. Neither of us believe at this point that we should need a license from the state to say that we are married. I suggested that we go to a mountaintop and pray to god to bless the union of us, and pray a bit more and we consider ourselves married. Am i crazy in this thinking?

Hellow mhorgan,
Interesting question. I was asked this by a lady at work, it a church would marry someone without a license from the state. Curious, since being married to me was always something that I ascribed to as one whose domain was God's and not man. (Matthew 19:6) but have no problem acquiescing to the state requirement.

I asked my pastor this very question and still have not received an answer. He's contacted the Headquarters and they have a lawyer poring over documents to determine the churches stance. My Pastor stated, that according to scripture that a license was needed. I told him I could not find that scripturally, but only found a license for a divorce, which brother B-A-C has quoted. James1523 brought up another good point as well about submission to authorities, but as always, the limits to that authority and adhering to scripture can not always be reconciled, but this is not the place for that discussion.

I do like the comment that Fragrant Grace made in regards to her own marriage. For if Christ is not the head of the marriage and in each of your individual lives which are to be joined. Whose providing the guidance and help when the river gets hard to navigate?

I assume you and the man you intend to marry attend a church. Ask the Pastor the same question. Will you marry us without a state license, so that we may enter into this blessed covenant between us and God, and do so by a Shepherd of the Lord.

The only problem I see is that you haven't stated why you don't want to get a license from the state. Because from what you've written it seems it's a personal decision and not a scriptural one?

Praying that it will as always, provide a joining of two believers in Christ Jesus, who become one to the Glory of God.
YBIC
C4E
 
Hellow mhorgan,
Interesting question. I was asked this by a lady at work, it a church would marry someone without a license from the state. Curious, since being married to me was always something that I ascribed to as one whose domain was God's and not man. (Matthew 19:6) but have no problem acquiescing to the state requirement.

I asked my pastor this very question and still have not received an answer. He's contacted the Headquarters and they have a lawyer poring over documents to determine the churches stance. My Pastor stated, that according to scripture that a license was needed. I told him I could not find that scripturally, but only found a license for a divorce, which brother B-A-C has quoted. James1523 brought up another good point as well about submission to authorities, but as always, the limits to that authority and adhering to scripture can not always be reconciled, but this is not the place for that discussion.

I do like the comment that Fragrant Grace made in regards to her own marriage. For if Christ is not the head of the marriage and in each of your individual lives which are to be joined. Whose providing the guidance and help when the river gets hard to navigate?

I assume you and the man you intend to marry attend a church. Ask the Pastor the same question. Will you marry us without a state license, so that we may enter into this blessed covenant between us and God, and do so by a Shepherd of the Lord.

The only problem I see is that you haven't stated why you don't want to get a license from the state. Because from what you've written it seems it's a personal decision and not a scriptural one?

Praying that it will as always, provide a joining of two believers in Christ Jesus, who become one to the Glory of God.
YBIC
C4E

I am certainly not opposed to getting a license, more questioning why it is needed. I was thinking if marriage is between two people and god, why is there a contract drafted by state government. i have pretty much been going back to basics in my life, getting rid of things which i dont need, and it got me thinking why did the state even get involved in this practice,. More of a discussion point than anything else. I would never let a piece of paper stop my from being with someone i love
 
I have been with my girlfriend for 5 years now and we are talking about getting married. I am a widower and she is divorced. Neither of us believe at this point that we should need a license from the state to say that we are married. I suggested that we go to a mountaintop and pray to god to bless the union of us, and pray a bit more and we consider ourselves married. Am i crazy in this thinking?

Greetings @mhorgan24

I write this with Christian love and concern

I notice from the prayer thread that you started that your girlfriend is not saved
I will join you in prayer that she will turn to the Lord for His wonderful free gift of salvation

However, please be aware that the Lord will not bless a relationship/marriage union between a believer and an unbeliever.
The Bible tells us clearly that this is wrong

May the Lord bless you as you seek His will in these matters


Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
2 Corinthians 6:14


.
 
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There are legal aspects of this situation that have not been mentioned. For instance, should you pass away first would your partner/spouse have access to your life insurance, savings account, retirement plan money, etc.?

SLE:confused:
 
There are legal aspects of this situation that have not been mentioned. For instance, should you pass away first would your partner/spouse have access to your life insurance, savings account, retirement plan money, etc.?

This would depend on who is listed as the beneficiary of the policy or in their will, and has no relevance to whether they are legally married or not, I would think. In many countries, there is no legal incentive to be married, as de facto relationships are legally recognized, but apparently not in the USA.
 
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