What should a Christian do if he or she is married to a

[rizen1]

Question: "What should a Christian do if he or she is married to an unbeliever?"

Answer: Being married to an unbeliever can be one of the most difficult challenges in a Christian's life. Marriage is a sacred covenant that joins two people together in one flesh (Matthew 19:5). It can be very difficult for a believer and an unbeliever to live in peaceful harmony (2 Corinthians 6:14-15). If one partner becomes a Christian after the marriage, the inherent struggles of living under two different authorities quickly become apparent.

Often Christians in this situation will look for a way out of the marriage, convinced that this is the only way to truly bring honor to God. His Word, however, says the contrary. It is very important not only to be content in our situation, but also to look for ways to bring glory to Him out of our challenging circumstances (1 Corinthians 7:17). The Bible specifically addresses those who are married to unbelievers in 1 Corinthians 7:12-14: “…If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband…”

Christians married to unbelievers will need to pray for the power of the Holy Spirit to enable them to profess Christ and live in the light of God's presence (1 John 1:7). They should seek God's transforming power to change their hearts and produce the fruit of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). A Christian wife is obligated to have a submissive heart, even toward her unbelieving husband (1 Peter 3:1), and she will need to remain close to God and rely on His grace to enable her to do so.

Christians are not meant to live solitary lives; they need to find support from outside sources such as the church and Bible study groups. Being married to an unbeliever does not alter the sacredness of the relationship, so it should be the priority of every Christian to pray for his or her spouse and set a good example, allowing Christ's light to shine brightly (Philippians 2:14). May the truth found in 1 Peter 3:1—that an unbelieving spouse is “won over”—be the hope and goal of every Christian who is married to an unbeliever.

Recommended Resource: Surviving a Spiritual Mismatch in Marriage by Lee Strobel.
http://www.gotquestions.org/married-unbeliever.html

 

[homewardbound]

Good post. Being married to an unbeliever does indeed present some tough challenges, but none that justify dissolving the marriage.

 

[IAMLOVESYOU&ME]

So easily wrote than living it daily for years...

Hello, I love the Word, because He is the Word. Your words of His Words are very encouraging, and living, breathing daily Him is really the only Hope!!!

Please don't take this the wrong way, any of you, please! But I have been living in a so called marriage where my husband goes to church on Sunday's, was raised going to a Catholic church, and was Baptized at the age of 21 in a well Baptist church. I did not meet and marry him until he was about 23.

We have been married almost 22 years now, amazing, and things have gone down hill so to speak. We have two beautiful children, in there teens, wow! Fun in itself! I know life isn't about me, but about Him who created me, and with that being said "I know I am a sinner, for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.", but for the last 10 years of our marriage it has been the most unpleasant, undesirable, unbelievable, most frustrating, most heart breaking experience of my adult life!!!

I am not speaking of unfaithfulness in the sense of sleeping around or anything (Praise God), but unfaithfulness in the sense of God. I have got to the point that I don't even want to go to church anymore because of the fakeness of it all.

We are like plastic people, under a plastic steeple!!! I am very weak in my self esteem, weak in my decisions, I feel weak in all realms of the senses. It has broke me, beyond broken!!!

I am still faithful to the One & Only; The Only One that truly understands. My church is just a church, flesh is but flesh, but I am so depending on the only One, "The Great I Am!"

 

[B-A-C]

Good post. Being married to an unbeliever does indeed present some tough challenges, but none that justify dissolving the marriage.

Not exactly true.

1Cor 7:12 But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her.
1Cor 7:13 And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away.
1Cor 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy.
1Cor 7:15 Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace.

The Christian in the marriage should never file for divorce or dissolution. But notice it says if the unbeliever wants to leave, go ahead and let them leave, we are not held under this bondage in such cases.

The is one of the two biblical reason for divorce, the other is unfaithfulness (adultery)

 

[Furious_Love]

Thanks for sharing your insight into mismatched marriages.

When I was married I was an unbeliever in the sense Jesus was not my Lord and Saviour. My wife was and has been a believer all her life that I can remember. We were mismatched yet our Love for each other was stronger than our differences. Even when she would go to church she had my blessing. Our love for each other made us overlook our differences and concentrate what mattered most in our lives. After my conversion life took on a different colour as we had even more things in common.

 

[Kit Carson]

I am married to a Heathen, a cute one.

I read these things and shake my head. Do none of you read your Bible and really believe in God. Do you seek him.

I think not , I think you all listen to the preacher and other people, for sure God does not wish conflict or divorce or hard feelings over a difference in beliefs.

When Jesus said I come to create one against the other, to set mother against son, in words like these, he was telling what will happen due to mans own stubborn way and lack of forgiveness .

But the new testament tells us that the unbeliever in marriage is sanctified by God. Cool with God, and no need to fret over it.

When you let your own fears rule the way of things, when you push and push, you are simply showing your own disbelief. You are not trusting God to take care of it, so it is you who create the disharmony and fussing. It is you who cause the whole thing .

If you simply trust God to do as he says he will, just be nice, and hang in there, your example will win the day.

Oh they may say.......things at times, like UFO green men created earth......or something........but pay attention to your spouses actions, you will see the change, everything they do and some things they do exceeds your own patience and way.

So the unbeliever is sanctified by the believer in marriage. God will take care of it.........when you let your own fears and lack of faith enter into it....this is where the disharmony comes from.

Simply trust, set an example, laugh, enjoy life, give them a hug, raise your family and do not worry about it. It all works out.

A church tried to bust up my marriage, marriage to a heather is not cool.......marriage to another race is bad.......so they say........

Listen to God, do not let men place fear in your life.

My little heathen is more in tune with living a Good life than I am, she is just plain nice. Sometimes she teaches me something.

Go read the chapter of Corinthians.......listen to God.


Kit

 

[IAMLOVESYOU&ME]

Hello Kit Carson

Glad to know you and your misses have a real relationship even though you don't believe in the same God. I pray one day your true reflection of Christ does touch her in a way that she does open up her to the way, the truth and the life.

I don't mean to be ugly and please don't take this the wrong way as I am hoping your remarks about people not reading their Bibles and so to speak knowing it, but a person can read the Bible all they want and know everything thing it says , as Satan himself does, and still not get it!!!

We do not know the hearts of the one that write these threads. We do not know their relationship with their Savior either, so using You Aren't, and playing the blame game towards the writer, to me, is just say "sad".

Like in my comments, I didn't mention the mental abuse of "You are stupid!" "You are lazy" "You want amount to nothing." "You are crazy." etc being sad to me or my children.

Now, if you think God likes, loves that being said in a so called "Christian Family" and just deal with it, then I guess I don't have to worry about taking any of your thread comments seriously!!!

May the created of Heaven & Earth forgive us for we know not what we do! Restore us one with You!!!

 

[Kit Carson]

Glad to know you and your misses have a real relationship even though you don't believe in the same God. I pray one day your true reflection of Christ does touch her in a way that she does open up her to the way, the truth and the life.

I don't mean to be ugly and please don't take this the wrong way as I am hoping your remarks about people not reading their Bibles and so to speak knowing it, but a person can read the Bible all they want and know everything thing it says , as Satan himself does, and still not get it!!!

We do not know the hearts of the one that write these threads. We do not know their relationship with their Savior either, so using You Aren't, and playing the blame game towards the writer, to me, is just say "sad".

Like in my comments, I didn't mention the mental abuse of "You are stupid!" "You are lazy" "You want amount to nothing." "You are crazy." etc being sad to me or my children.

Now, if you think God likes, loves that being said in a so called "Christian Family" and just deal with it, then I guess I don't have to worry about taking any of your thread comments seriously!!!

May the created of Heaven & Earth forgive us for we know not what we do! Restore us one with You!!!

Good Morning:

I am delighted that you responded. I say all this with great respect and sincerity. As for the ugly, Lol, none of it is, we all search for understanding and the truth of things. When one reads a post and assumes things ,we become like Jobs friends who accused him of wrong doing when none was there. I like challenges and questions, I also learn from them. I consider nothing ugly and only seek to find the truth of all things.

The thing I see in modern Christianity are many things told to others that are not the way of God. So many things are taken out of his way and put into mans way. When we listen to these things it only compounds the situation.

Miss Sandy is saved, she accepted God long ago and was baptized with me, kinda funny story....will not get into that. She is not as convicted as I am, but God tells me she does not have to be and it will come with time . The important thing is she is saved as am I, if she does not look at all things like I do, I do not push and fuss and argue. I just tell God......will you go talk to her please.....she is acting up again. A little humor there.....Lol!

I say when two become one, and are married and one is a Christian or maybe one becomes a Christian after the marriage, that if that Christian leans on Gods word, it will all work out. But if one leans on the words of men, there is so much confusion in this that many times it only serves to create disharmony and confusion.

So be careful what men tell you, always run to God and ask. And be aware that your wife or husband or family with your own faith is sanctified by God and if you learn the ways of patience , respect and to not lash out and become mad, to push and push, that God will take care of it.

Always run to God, it may take you a week or two of daily struggle to come up with an answer, but when it comes it sets you free and helps all......those of men, only cause the situation to become worse many times. So yes I want all to go read their bible and talk to God.....and test all others tell you.
As simple as I can say it.

Go read Chapter 7 of first Corinthians. It is freedom from oppression, and if understood, will push the views of others at bay, and one understands Gods plan. It is so very simple. No need to make it complicated.
Respectfully

Kit

 

[gdemoss]

The is one of the two biblical reason for divorce, the other is unfaithfulness (adultery)

To clarify this statement, I understand the second reason (unfaithfulness) to be 'fornication' that happens during the betrothal stage before the consummation of the marriage. Case in point is Joseph and Mary, when she was found with child, as a just man he was going to 'put her away' privily. He thought his virgin was not pure.

Some understand the unfaithful part to be catching your spouse being sexually unfaithful. Although the text would allow that interpretation, there is no example in scripture to back it up. It does say what God has joined together let man not put asunder. God joining together is two flesh becoming one as I understand it. And that happens at consummation. I stick to the above.

Gary