My wife and I have been separated for 4 months and still hangout. I want so badly to have her back. When things started to get bumpy in the relationship I did the love dare to help me become a better man for my wife that book opened my eyes to how I really should be treating her. We went through a tough time with finances. So we came to the conclusion of separation for the longest time she did not want me there but I held on by faith. I finally moved out in April. I decided to give my whole heart to the lord and follow his word. I know I can’t do this alone he is my strength. Yesterday my wife came over to drop my son off. She came a little earlier than usual and went and laid on the bed while my son ran around. I had my old phone out and I wanted to show her text messages that she used to send me that meant the most to me so I would save them. Had to do with loving me and being there for me no matter what life may bring she sent these about 8 months in to our relationship. She started to cry and I asked “what’s wrong” she mentioned she had something to tell me. She said she never really loved me, and married me because she was pregnant. She loves me as a friend, and was seeing a guy before we met about 4 years ago He was going through a separation and he chose his wife over her. I guess she never really accepted it. She said that she does not have the feeling for me as she had for him, and that she doesn’t think it’s fair to be with me if she doesn’t feel she is ever going to feel that way about me. She hasn’t told anyone except me today. As she was telling me this I was thanking Jesus over and over again. I told her I forgave her and that I loved her. She consistently says she will never find anyone to treat her the way I do. She tells me she mentions it at work as well. After she told me that we were obviously emotion. She went to work and I sent her a text in regards to thanking Jesus for helping her get that off her chest. She sent me a text back saying she does feel closer to me. How do I take that? I know this is going to work out for my good either way because I put my trust in Jesus I consistently pray for her that she puts Jesus first. She did mention that she would go to church with me and I was very happy that’s tomorrow. This just is very tough because it’s been going on 5 months and finally she is starting to open up to me I just need advice if someone can relate to her. I told her only god is going to be able to handle her problems she cant do it alone and that he will give her what she truly deserves she just has to trust in him. Its just been very hard to continue to stay strong through this time. I told her if this is truly how she feels then she needs to be the one to file the papers. I mentioned that before and she asked what the rush was. Just need some good Christian Advice. I appreciate your time.
What to do in my Marraige seperation ?
- Thread starter Ferrer
- Start date
GOD wants you too be a Good husband and Father . It must be for Him . You want this . He wants you to rule with LOVE . Love gives mercy and We are here to serve. Not too LORD over others.
You know once the pastor where I was going asked me if my wife would go to a camp where she could tell those people what the pastor was saying. I said Yes.
I told my wife i wanted Her to go Sunday. she said No . I said honey I already said you would. She said no. I am not going there those places are so nasty.
I said if you do not go ? I am going to go get on my knees and tell My Father God you will not listen too me. She started laughing and said go ahead you dummy.
So I did . I told the Lord that the woman He gave me will not listen to me and He must deal with Her. I not going to say anything to Her about going. But just ask Her tomorrow .
the next day I asked Her You going with the pastor? She said yes.
She came back so happy telling how people were touched.
A couple weeks went by and again I asked Her to do something. she said No. I said Ok I just go talk too my father God about this . I started walking toward the bedroom . she ran behind me and said ? Please never do that again, I"ll do anything you say.
I Do not know how He dealt with Her . But I knew by allowing Him to take care of it ? It was the best way . Hope this helps you some?
You know once the pastor where I was going asked me if my wife would go to a camp where she could tell those people what the pastor was saying. I said Yes.
I told my wife i wanted Her to go Sunday. she said No . I said honey I already said you would. She said no. I am not going there those places are so nasty.
I said if you do not go ? I am going to go get on my knees and tell My Father God you will not listen too me. She started laughing and said go ahead you dummy.
So I did . I told the Lord that the woman He gave me will not listen to me and He must deal with Her. I not going to say anything to Her about going. But just ask Her tomorrow .
the next day I asked Her You going with the pastor? She said yes.
She came back so happy telling how people were touched.
A couple weeks went by and again I asked Her to do something. she said No. I said Ok I just go talk too my father God about this . I started walking toward the bedroom . she ran behind me and said ? Please never do that again, I"ll do anything you say.
I Do not know how He dealt with Her . But I knew by allowing Him to take care of it ? It was the best way . Hope this helps you some?
I appreciate you getting back to me. She did show up to church with me today which was a blessing. I know he is the only one that can control what she does. We then went to grab a bite afterwards. First time in a long time. She mentioned your going to be here for me if we are divorced or not. I told her if we get divorced I am going to need my time to heal. I have faith but after hanging out with her today even though this was a great sign I still felt her distant from me. She mentioned she hated when I did something and I told her to focus on what I do that's good. its going on 5 months and I just don't want to be taken advantage of but I feel I have to demonstrate love no matter what as you mentioned, and continue to pray for her, and wait. Gods answered my prayer and this is a step in the right direction all though Its just tough. What do you think?
Appreciate your posts
Appreciate your posts
Brad Huber
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I think you need to love her whether she loves you or not, as Christ loves and died for us all. Don't press her continually to turn to Christ if you have witnessed to her already, it may be considered nagging and turn her away. Let your "life" be a witness to her and stay in touch with her even if she hooks up with someone else. Cry as many tears as you need to help deal with the pain you feel, and know that Christ loves you and shall "NEVER" leave you. Praying for you brother!
That spiritual bondage is LOVE ! It feels it . She might not understand? That real LOVE not lust . It cannot be turned off ever.
You should have gotten alone with Her and laid hands on Her .
This is a battle and satan will try to keep it from starting again.
It a spiritual battle. You got too handle it spiritually if you really want Her .
2Co_10:4 (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds
satan the one who causing these problems. he wants to keep it going.
Rom_8:7 Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be.
You should have gotten alone with Her and laid hands on Her .
This is a battle and satan will try to keep it from starting again.
It a spiritual battle. You got too handle it spiritually if you really want Her .
2Co_10:4 (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds
satan the one who causing these problems. he wants to keep it going.
Rom_8:7 Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be.
Most of time women have been making clear hints that there is trouble in the marriage, but men seldom get the message. By the time a man is willing to go to counseling, and turn their life to Jesus, it's too late. Most efforts are sadley too late and not able to touch the deep pain the wife. Most men try on their own effort to "do" the right things as they see them, but the changes they make are on their own power, and the effort to become "religious" may seem what they think is the right thing to become "christiam".
Here is the problem real genuine life changes are very painful, abd don't come easy. What seems like a long time in making changes she will see and believe, generally are made just to win her back, and when she comes back the old ways come right back again, and women know this.
Here is a issue that most men, christians are in this too, looking at naked women. On the internet, at the dirty magizines, and at anything that satan can use to temp men with. TV is a huge offender, how many of us men change the station as soon as a bra, underware, and swin suit comes into view? Most just sit and glare. These little 3 second peeks can get us going and thinking in the wrong direction. Our wife's notice these things ! Ever been to an auto salvage yard to get a part? Most always satan has his very best out for your eyes to lust over. We are constantly exposed to lustful pictures. Walmarts womens magizines are there just as you check out. Do you spend time lusting, or turn the magizine backwards so no one can be temped. I do. When a marriage is started with a child on the way, or after living together, or sex before before marriage, the odds of this marriage mahing it ave very against it lasting.
Too many of us believed that just by saying a prayer (following the preachers words in a prayer) ment we were really saved and headed for heaven. We "trusted" Jesus because we said the prayer, and we only had to be baptised, and no real changes were ever made. People that was a lie, To surrender, and become a follower of jesus is being a genuien believer, and becoming "saved" Unless we become a FOLLOWER we are not saved. Is it any wonder we have marriage problems, and divorces ?
Ferrer: here is my advice. Are you a genuine follower, are really saved? Your marraige started wrong. What have you done to repent? I see no hpoe with out becoming a genuine follower of Jesus. Instead of the "Dare" book, the WORD OF GOD, the BIBLE, has the way to save your self, and your marriage. May this help restore you both, blessings.
I appreciate the post I forgot to mention that in April I started a bible study that I am still attending which was a blessing. I just started Seminary school today just want to learn as much as possible about Christ. I am also happy to say I have been saved for about 7 years. After moving out of the house I really believe the holy spirit has been leading me. I am so thankful for what God has done for me personally with my growing faith. This is by far one of the toughest times in my life. The love Dare pointed me in the right direction. The BIBLE is the only way like you said. I continue to love my wife no matter what its beginning to get a little easier God is really working on her. Slowly but surely he is chipping away at the wall she has up. She confessed to me which was a big step, she went to church with me in the same week it is progress. I do find myself still questioning it sometimes and I have to rebuke those thoughts and continue the walk in faith. This situation has turned my life around, I just continue to pray for my wife to give her whole heart to God. I don't push it down her throat but I do lead by example to answer the other post. When I first started to get hungry for the word I started to try to get her to come to church and read the bible and she said "you can take a horse to the water but you cant force it to drink." So I laid off 2 months later Gods starting to work on her. Its good to get encouragement and its a blessing to have my post followed up with by true believers I thank all of you God Bless.
Brad Huber
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May the Lord bless you and stir the thoughts of your wife about Jesus!
