What to do?

[Jordan]

Over the past school year a lot has changed in my life and it just seems that things keep changing. At the beginning of August my parents split up giving me the choice of moving over one hundred miles for my senior year of high school to live with my dad or to remain with my mom in the town I grew up in. Due to my moms unfaithfulness to our family I decided to move with my dad. For the last seven months things keep getting worse between my mom and me. At the beginning I tried to keep everything the way they once were. I came in every weekend and made sure I spent time with her to let her know I still love her. The more and more I came in town the more I noticed the way she was living her life. To me it was like she was no longer my mom at all. She didn't act like herself and it didn't even seem she cared about my brothers and me at all. Two weeks ago I confronted her about all the things I was angry about. I made it as nice as possible but I wasn't too nice to the extreme that I didn't get what I wanted to say out in the open. I thought this might clear the air between us and let us start over. I was more wrong than ever. She didn't even respond to me. The only thing she did was call my dad and tell him that it would be best if I didn't come around anymore. The problem with this is that I was suppose to live there this summer to be back with my friends for the last time before everyone went their different directions and I already accepted a job at the local YMCA. What I'm really asking is what to do I do about my moms and I relationship and where do I live this summer? It seems to me she has lost sight of the true meaning in life. Whenever I'm with her it just hurts more than you know. <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comfficeffice" />

 

[Mike Scott]

Remember your favorite quote?

In everything you do never give up.

I had the opposite problem of my parents divorcing and my dad was the one to distance himself.

While they are in the romance time of their new relationship nothing else seems to matter except the new person. None of it makes any sense. Especially to the daughter or son of that person.

I was alienated for a long time from my dad due to his other new priority in his life. Which I resented a lot.

When I tried to intervene, it only made things worse.
I had to back off and give my dad to the Lord.
I had to resort to serious prayer.
I asked for opportunities to open for our relationship to be mended.
Remember the outcome is different for every situation. Why? I don't know.

Be an intercessor for your mom.

Do you know another woman who is older and very wise in the Lord that you trust and could get together with to talk and pray. You need wise counsel and support through this hard time. Preferably face to face not just over the internet.
May the Lord protect your heart and mend the hurts.

Don't make any quick decissions or let the enemy get any footholds of negativity on your mind. I was my own worst enemy during those trial times.

Surround yourself with godly people.

Love ya Jordan, my sister in Christ.

So take care, Mike
aka grizzly in Christ.

 

[Br. Bear]

Greetings Jordan,

First thing to do is pray.
Give thanks that things are as they are, and the glory of God can be revealed in the whole situation....remembering that you have prayed.

Youngsters like yourself often see some juicy faults in the oldies, because of where you're at...not because you're wrong or bad. Youngsters sometimes find it hard to not say anything to their parents if they don't like or approve of what they do.
Having said that, parents don't usually like being told by their youngsters! Or anyone else for that matter.

Whatever your mum is going through, it may seem like you are picking on her and not 'on her side'. She may inwardly feel guilty for the break up and any 'rubbing it in' would touch a raw nerve, and could be why she snapped at you.

You are entering the wide world of people. Everyone is different and often things are said and done without thinking about the consequence. Where in times past, you were a child to mum, now you are adult. You chose to stay with dad. Mum may well be reacting to the hurt that she may feel.
Most folks react the opposite to what they often mean. A bit like saying, "Go away! Leave me alone!" when you mean, "Come and give me some support and love....I need it so much!"

Pray and love. Keep in contact, without being pushy, and tell her you love her.... just checking to see how you're getting on...I miss you, etc. Little bits at a time. She is finding her way in this new situation and though you might not approve of her actions, she is still your mum, and you love her. For her to know that, is really, really important right now.

Talk to the Lord about it. You might hear Him telling you that He knows what it's like to be rejected...to offer some advice and guidance to ones you love and then get ignored.... yes, I think the Lord will understand how you feel...so share with Him....and love your mum. She needs you as someone who will accept her new life because you love her for being mum. Give it time. Don't push. She's finding her way and you have to let her.....

pray and love.
pray and love...

and then,

pray and love.

Bless you Jordan.

Br. Bear