@Bluecheese
A lot of conflicting emotions RJG and understandable. You're not the only one to have gone through periods of doubt. When the individual is first exposed to the Gospel. It is received in many different ways and colored by the communicator of the message which at times is the detriment of the receiver. Why detriment? Because, the one who presents the Gospel is the one who the person receiving the Gospel identifies with. If in a church, then it's the church. Rarely is the message separated from someone or something.
As a child or one of younger age. The association has greater bonding power. Not insurmountable, but truly a more difficult hurdle to climb. Yet, you being a climber in the past. This might I pray as do others here. Have you once again in youthful vigor, for what God has in store next for you. If you were to once again turn to Him. Not in youthful inexperience, but in well earned scares of life. :thumbsup:
When I was a child of eleven, and a believer in Christianity
I never ever had any sense of the presence of the deity or Jesus. If they couldn't support a child either they didn't care, or more likely they didn't exist. The doubts grew until I lost my faith by the end of my teenage years.
The above two comments are not reconcilable. To be a believer and never having any sense of the presence of Jesus or I'm assuming the Holy Spirit. Does not mesh. Now one may rationalize the experience afterwards, if it has happened. But to have one and not the other does not speak of an authentic change between what was then and is now in you.
Sadly, too often the thought that one must just say a few words and its done. Is what is communicated in the churches past, present and I'm sure future. Not all mind you, but many. Only you can say what that early experience was like. Self motivated, motivated by others, the need to be accepted, peer pressure, family pressure, duty etc. The list goes on in how someone says, "I believed, but no longer do".
The true experience is originated by God, and for God. It excludes all else. For nothing is as important as that initial exchange between you and Him. Not necessarily verbal, but it can be. A spiritual sensation that words fail to truly capture, but not always. It can as varied as the stars, or as simple as a breeze. Yet never without a change to the innermost being that one would call self. For it's something that no one can ever take away from you and one that you might reject as happening, but never to be forgotten.
I suppose everyone has their own experiences of life and draw their own conclusions. I am now 65 and have never been presented with any verifiable evidence that any deity exists, or that Jesus was resurrected. Of course I could be wrong, but I don't believe in taking out 'fire insurance' just in case I am, I think that would be hypocritical.
You are right that everyone has there own experiences in life, and you have had many. Yet, all attributable to chance
Evidence? What evidence do you seek? Can I see the tomb? It's empty. Why go to an empty one? Over 500 witnesses seeing Him after the Crucifixion? Not enough? How many would be enough if any number would count but one?
You are correct. Taking out "fire insurance" or believing in a Risen Jesus Christ just in case you're wrong would be hypocritical. Yet, if you're living in a place that has a lot of fires, and refuse the evidence of them because it doesn't meet your preconceived notion of what a "fire" is, also, makes little sense and would not be called hypocritical, but something else.
The idea of heaven doesn't appeal to me, when I die I hope that is it, end of!
Heaven not appealing? Never having seen it, and yet it is unappealing! It's like a child who has not tasted a food and just knowing they're not going to like it (yuk)
I can imagine what it might be like, but the reality will be so much more! Why, because we will be changed and more then we are now (physically, mentally, spiritually).
You have had many experiences in your own life, that without prior knowledge/experience of occurred. They have made you more then you were before them and hopefully for the better
Heaven would be no different, except that you're aware of it in thought, though the actuality is, hopefully some time in the future.
I would love to continue, but my lunch time is over at work!
I hope you receive this in the vein that it was meant.
Only in the Love of Christ Jesus.
C4E
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