Why can't I be like all of you?

[Sleepy]

Hi

I flit in and out of here because I long to learn, hear God more and have a stronger faith but alas I go away comparing myself to all of you here and feel inadequate, unable to be a chrisitan as I see one should be.

I should be an encourager (I sometimes manage that at work) I should be an example ( I swear like a trouper ) I should be glad and happy ( I worry sooo much about the present cicumstances and choices to be made ) I should trust God ( I'm scared witless about the future ) I should pray for others more ( I pray a quick prayer and then shy away from God ) I should want to pray to talk with God ( I fear condedmnation and just feel uneasy ) .

I listen and read others post and I am in awe. I envy their faith yet I believe so hard and love so deeply but no sticking power. I have an erratic relationship with God. Prayer and christian circles embarass and strike fear in me. It all seems so intimate and soul piercing. The confident christian strikes paranoia within me as I know I just can't match up.

Maybe temporarily I will bring some light someones way but I loathe my inability to serve in a way which has the slightest bit of dedication.
I'd like to be like you, strong and confident about your faith. The boat is rocking and the storms around me are causing me to sink. My trust is weak.

Why can't I be like you?


Yours Sleepy

 

[calluna]

Hi Sleepy i sent you a pm


heather

 

[Jesuslovesu]

Oh sweet sister Sleepy


I love your honesty ! Do you know that I feel like that alot of the time! I actually was going to write something very similar to what you wrote...
I want to let you know that you are loved so much we all are and the fact that you are so honest I think makes you so much closer to Christ than you think you are...

I suggest what you (and I do and need to do) everyday is pray "Lord help me walk where you want me to walk the boldness to be who you are calling me to be the widsom to know what to say the courage then to say it "

I also think we need to let satan know we aint buying it anymore!!!

If you want to talk at any time please feel free to contact me

Love in Christ
Bobbie

 

[peeps]

same here . . .

sleepy you are like all of us . . .because we are just like you . . .unworthy of Gods offer to live with him eternally. . .loved by Him so much, that He sent His only Son Jesus on the cross to die for our mess-ups so we can walk freely into His loving Arms we are the same before our father . . .there is not ONE better than you in this whole wide world
We come in all colors, shapes and sizes . . .and we all mess up before God!

I should be an encourager too, I should be an example too, I should be glad and happy too, I should trust God more too, I should pray for others more too,I should want to pray and spend more devoted time with God too . . .and you now what. . .Im sure you and I do it . . .just like everyone does it . . .everyone in their very own way!!!

Relax sis. . .and keep sharing your life with us . ..just as we have to pull it together time and time again ourselves and do the same
Dont judge yourself and dont worry

You are special . . .because God made you this way :star:

*hugs* Dot

 

[Nigh]

Sleepy,

I know just how you feel. You are not alone, not by a long shot. I find with my walk in Christ Jesus, that every time I learn something more about how awesome our God is...I feel less and less worthy to be in his presence. Every time I notice how much faith David had, to stand up to the giant, or to step out of the boat onto the water to goto Jesus...I feel less and less deserving of his gift.
But then I always seem to learn something more about his grace, forgiveness, and compassion. Even in his selection of his disciples, he chose a tax collector. (Hated among his own people) Or Zacchaeus, who squeezed every penny he could out of peoples wallets, but guess who WANTED to be his dinner guest, and later Zacchaeus gave his life to Jesus (and 1/2 his money to the poor). You see, Jesus was pursuing Zacchaeus even before Zacchaeus looked to Christ. He already knew his name when he spotted him in the tree. Imagine the crowd wondering how he knew his name.

In John 8:36 we read, “If the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.” But it appears as though many of us are living like death row convicts just waiting for the day of our execution. Many of us are apparently living with some regret over past crimes or sins that we have committed and we just can’t seem to move on. Jesus said to us, “My burden is light” (Matthew 11:30), but we live from day to day with a weight of guilt upon our shoulders that hinders us from moving further along in our relationship with the Lord. Whenever we mess up, we beat ourselves up emotionally and we even question our salvation. We question how God could ever love us when we are such a mess, and then we actually punish ourselves by saying in our minds that we are stupid and worthless. Sometimes we go so far as to keep ourselves from spending time with the Lord, because we feel as though we are not worthy to come into his presence.

Read Romans 7:14-19
This is not Paul talking about the way he used to be a sinful person before he became a Christian. This is Paul saying, “Just this morning, I gave in again.” Like many of us, Paul realized that he was not worthy of God’s love, for he stated in Romans 3:10, “There is none righteous, no, not one,” and he said in Romans 3:23, “For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” In Romans 7:25 Paul seems to condemn himself for he said, “O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?” Paul felt really down about the mistakes that he had made, however he ultimately realized that God loved him for who he was.

In Romans 8:1 Paul broke forth and declared, “There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus . . .”

Read Titus 3:3-7
Paul mentioned here such things as foolishness, disobedience, and hatefulness. It is very true that we still continue to commit sins after having accepted Christ, but if we accept Christ as our Lord and Savior are we still condemned for our sins? No! In Ephesians 2:1 Paul stated that we were formerly dead in our trespasses and sins, but that Christ made us alive. The blood of Jesus Christ washes away our sins and makes us clean and spotless in the eyes of God.

We tend to say, "we are sinners saved by grace", but this is self condemning for some, like you. May I suggest that you start recognizing yourself by your true identity: “You are a child of God,” who happens to fall prey to sin every once in a while. Yes, you sin occasionally, but you no longer make an occupation out of it. Yes, you fall short of the glory of God, but so did Paul, and me, and everyone else. Don't look at people here at TalkJesus and say, "wow! they are great Christians. I wish I could be like them." Instead, look to Jesus Christ and say, "Thank you Lord and Savior for adopting me into your family, and making me a child of God". As Christians we don't want you to see us, but rather we want to become transparent so that when you look at us, you don't see us, you see Jesus.

Don't beat yourself up. If you do that, you are beating up a child of God.

Portions taken from a sermon by: Dr. Damian Phillips, Mount Olivet Baptist Church

Go with God's grace,
Nigh

 

[Sleepy]

Strangest thing happened

Every time I go to church. I feel so spoken to by God, the messages from the pulpit are totally soul piercing.

Tonight for instance all my anxieties about my ability to walk the christian walk were blanketed by a peace which came from a sermon based on the scripture of the service which talked about the christian walk. It was so good. Every single anxiety, question asked within was answered right there as I sat and listened.

This happens each time I listen to the vicar interpret the bible - I have a burning question about faith/Jesus and the BANG an answer directly cuts into me from the pulpit. God is amazing. He answers every prayer. *shocked* It's like God is speaking to me via a megaphone yet the message is so personal and private. How can it be so clear, feel so much like a precise answer to the very precise question I have that day???
It seems that the vicar is the guy at the telephone exchange connecting people from the power source via a call either way (God to congregation).

God works in the most unbelievable ways. Not forgetting to mention all these wonderful replies to this thread.. I shall use them as reminders to keep a peace as I'm a real wobbler. Thank you Body and Spirit. I hope to find somewhere to study the bible to strengthen my walk.

:embarasse Thank you

Thank you God for your Love and your ministers. I nearly flew out of that church tonight. Help me to be more for you by Your Strength and Holy Spirit.

 

[Chad]

Glad to hear the great news sister. GOD is awesome without a doubt and He does speak to us in many ways. When I used to attend bible studies at my local church it felt like GOD answered something to me every single Wednesday at studies without a miss. It was very amazing indeed.

As far as your faith goes, like others said your not alone. You have the desire obviously and clearly to grow with the Lord and draw closer. That's a great thing. Many others [ironically] are "sleepy" in their faith You seem eager and open hearted, open ears.

I confess humbly that sometimes I find myself spiritually lazy and distressed due to my laziness. Its a learning experience that requires patience from our end (where GOD is already perfectly faithful and patient with us).

God bless you.

 

[fightngwrmwood]

Hey Sleepy,

A lot of great stuff has been posted and I too loved your honesty and although I caught this post later, reading it through with the praise report is really something special!

I can relate to what you wrote - I worry unnecessarily (is there any other kind?) and have to constantly capture thoughts and ask God to keep me focused or keep me still. I agree whole heartedly with JLU, you are closer than you think when you don't feel it (and praise Him for letting you know that too!) and Nigh's comments and great scriptures about not beating yourself up, which is something I can be guilty of too. (I call it pride flipside, but its all the same stuff, feeling better than, less than.)

I just want to echo what Chad wrote about some of this being an indicator of a pure desire to grow. You recognize good things and are in humility to see where you are from where you think God wants you to be. (And he wants our everything for our best, so this is true for everyone at some level throughout our lives.)

Whenever I get shown something or some area where I need to grow, I feel ashamed. It is good to hate the sin, not so you can dwell there, but so you can see the reason to change. I love the saying...
"There is no shame in finding yourself face flat on the floor, the shame is in not getting up."

Once you see that and understand that, really cool stuff follows, as you may well know! In agreement with my brothers and sisters here - to encourage you and to praise God for what He is doing, I also want pipe in that you might be about to experience a growth spurt, and that it can sting a little. And all the growth has to happen in His time, which can also seem painfully slow.

Not too long ago there was this area of my life- scripture memorizing- that I really sucked at. (Now this is an not an example of overcoming sin, but don't get the wrong idea about me. Years before this example He gave me victory over alcoholism, smoking, compulsive lying, and swearing. But for the grace of God go I.) I even had index cards, but I wasn't consistent. I figured it's the content that matters and I was reading my bible regularly and - well I had all kinds of things to say about it if you asked me.

I'm not posting about the issue or merits of memorization, it's just - when someone would bring it up, or I was around people or a group that had verses memorized, I felt what you did -less than and a little in awe. And I told myself I couldn't do it. I wanted to be like that and I believed I couldn't be, just like you titled the thread.

I couldn't but He can through me. If there is a vision you have for yourself, like not swearing or praying more - that could very well be God given. You are right you can't do it in your own strength, but as sure as He lifted you on eagle's wings at that service, as sure as you are HIS, as sweet as your honest desire to reflect him more, He'll have victory in your life. You may feel like you don't believe it, but somewhere deep down, its there. I can see it in this thread and other posts you've written. It's evident as there is plenty of witness to here.

There is this story I heard in church a few weeks ago - if you are a parent and you ask your kid to clear the table, you are pleased when he does it. But what if you came in and the full clean dishwasher dishes had been empty, the table had been cleared and those dishes were in the dishwasher running and the table had been wiped down with the stuff that couldn't go in the dishwasher was clean on the drying rack. Your child when above and beyond the expected.

I wanted God to be proud of me like that - but I felt very, very far from that. I guess I was in a space where I felt like mostly I was just clearing the table and I did above and beyond for other things to witness for Him but not directly as an offering to Him.

So somewhere along the way I got out my index cards and thought I would just do a little. Like a verse. I had to just do a little every day. I have heard something doesn't become a habit until 3 months. And if I messed up, I would start at the beginning and then say it 3 times till I had it down. And if I missed a day or two, or a week, I wouldn't give up, I would just pick it up as soon as possible. I just pressed in.

So there is fruit to this story but I am not trying to draw attention to that, but to point out that this all started with the same feelings you posted originally, just on a few different issues. I just wanted to post that if something feels over the top for you, it might be that He has an over the top way that He wants to use you. So press in!

God bless you awesome honest seeking forthright sister!

fww

 

[sunshine307]

It's like God is speaking to me via a megaphone yet the message is so personal and private. How can it be so clear, feel so much like a precise answer to the very precise question I have that day???
It seems that the vicar is the guy at the telephone exchange connecting people from the power source via a call either way (God to congregation).
God works in the most unbelievable ways. Not forgetting to mention all these wonderful replies to this thread.. I shall use them as reminders to keep a peace as I'm a real wobbler. Thank you Body and Spirit. I hope to find somewhere to study the bible to strengthen my walk.
:embarasse Thank you
Thank you God for your Love and your ministers. I nearly flew out of that church tonight. Help me to be more for you by Your Strength and Holy Spirit.

Sister Sleepy - I have to laugh with you at this one. That is so typical of our God. We used to have chats at home with a group of young people from church and we were convinced the pastor stood outside our window because the next service he would be speaking about what we had been talking about, and not a one of us had been speaking to the pastor. I would agree that the very fact you are aware of your shortcomings is a sign that the Spirit is working within you. Keep listening sister, read His Word, we are all on different stages of our walk with Him and He loves us all the same.

 

[To Christ]

Oh sweet sister Sleepy
I love your honesty ! Do you know that I feel like that alot of the time! I actually was going to write something very similar to what you wrote...
I want to let you know that you are loved so much we all are and the fact that you are so honest I think makes you so much closer to Christ than you think you are...

Sleepy, I hope you keep close to your heart what Jesuslovesu says. I too have felt exactly as you. No matter what are outward appearances, it is transparent that your life in Christ is of His love. The ability to elegantly present things of the Lord does not make anyone closer to Him. I read what you say and feel like I'd like to be more like you.

 

[TDS52]

Sleepy, we are all individuals and are not supposed to be "clones" of someone else. Jesus loves us in spite of ourselves. He knows our heart and deals with that portion of our life according to His will. He calls us to Himself for His purpose. He does the work in, with, and through us.

In Romans chapter 6, there are three key words---know, reckon, and yield---as children of God, we should be able to answer the questions that were asked at the beginning of this chapter, know(realize, recognize, be aware of, understand) that when Jesus died on the cross, we died to sin (unbelief)with Him, but not to sin's practice; therefore, we must reckon (count, consider,include) ourselves dead to sin's practice, bondage, and/or the hold it has in our life, then yield (give up, surrender) ourself to Him to become a usable vessel in His Hands. We, all, have the same tendencies to sin and/or practice sin(s). We must come many times and acknowledge..."LORD, I've messed up again. Will I ever do right and please You? Forgive me.", but His mercy and forgiveness are always there when we ask for them.

With the habits, like swearing, may I suggest that you read Ephesians 6:10-18, determine to "Put on the whole armour of God..." daily. Each morning, as you put on the "...the helmet of salvation..." ask the Lord to guard your tongue and "Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer." (Psalm 19:14). Hide His word in your heart and live in/by it...please don't get caught up in comparing yourself to others nor looking to them, always, for your advice. You are, personally, accountable to "...work out your own salvation with fear and trembling." and He will teach you through His word. Look to James 1:5...ask for God's wisdom for the things you read and do not understand...totally transforming. May God bless you.

Because of Calvary,
Diane(TDS52)

 

[Buddy2]

Hi
I flit in and out of here because I long to learn, hear God more and have a stronger faith but alas I go away comparing myself to all of you here and feel inadequate, unable to be a chrisitan as I see one should be.
( I fear condedmnation and just feel uneasy )

Please Sleepy, understand that no one ever, other than our Lord Jesus, has been adequate. We, as in all humankind are sinners. Once we individually believe that Jesus is the son of God, was raised from the dead by God the Father and will have a personal relationship with us through the Holy Spirit, we become acceptable. To clarify, God loves everyone including non-believers. If someone claims to be perfect because they're Christian, they're being untruthful. The wonderful difference is that we do think about what we do and try to be better than we were, but the very best is that we can talk with God and ask for direction and forgiveness. It doesn't get any better than that in this earthly life. Thank You Jesus!

 

[PraySay]

Amen, the Lord came to fulfill anything of what we might be lacking in Him, seek Him in that quiet place, until you've found Him. Oh Lord Jesus, seek Your servant Sleepy, until she has found You, and You...her! It's a wonderfull thing to find true happiness and contentment in the Lord Jesus, as is His constant will for you. In these tumultuous times, we must seek His rest. Seek His peace, and pursue it, amen. Wait, and He'll come.

 

[Jonah2005bt]

My Dear Sleepy, there was a time in my life when I felt as you do now. And though you may feel like you're at a loss right now, there is somethings you might be over looking in yourself in your relationship with GOD.

You have a love for The Almighty GOD & HE knows this & HE knows your heart.

It's not as hard as one might think in trusting & in doing what is aquired of us to do. Once you know right from wrong it is a good start. For all you have to do is live accordingly to it.

But don't feel bad if you can't seem to change over night. You will soon find that no-matter how hard you try, there are going to be times when you will do what you will realize is not right. It takes time to train oneself in to being a righteous child of GOD.

Though it's about what we choose to do - our bad habbits can still get in our way from time to time. And we all have weeknesses.

I like starting my day off with a prayer to The Almighty GOD, giving HIM thanks before I ask HIM for anything. I also like to ask HIM at the end of the prayer, 'if HE would pour HIS Holy Spirit upon me', to guide my thoughts & actions through the day & to show me HIS answers to my questions & HE really & truly does this for me.

I also ask myself - do I want to live a righteously good, healthy & happy life given to us by GOD & through GOD & HIS Only Begotten Son, Christ Jesus - or - do I want live a life according the way of world filled with lies, insaults, hating for little reasons or for know reason at all.

I choose GOD'S way of life filled with True Love & True Happiness.

 

[cana]

Sleepy you are like most of us christianity is a function of the heart not time in matthew chapter 12 the Lord sais you cant enter a strong mans house unless you first bind him. satin can only bind us by our attitude whats in our heart. Jesus has allready won the battle. satain lost his relation ship with God and he wants the same for us thats why all sin no matter how small is designed to destroy relationships. be it gossip or anything. Jesus said unless you"re righteouness exceeds that of the pharisees you can"t enter heaven (right Relationships) thats why he told us love God with all yuo"re heart and soul and love you"er neighbor as you"re self the two most important commands and when we fall no matter how hard. (and we all do0 none is perfect except God! Just ask for forgiveness and he will forgive you. satain will alway try to tell you you"er not forgiven dont listen to him on thing that has helped me I carry a pocket bible with me 24 hours a day 7 days a week that way its always with me shoul I have a free second. but in short the Lord will compleat the work he has started in you its Gods will that no one will perish He loves you Jim