Why?

[PreciousQueen]

why does it feel like God doesn't care? After seeing my ex boyfriend after he raped me, he looks like he never cared. His mother told him " the female doesn't matter." The officer asked why hasn't he been arrested? Why is this happening?

 

[Christ4Ever]

@PreciousQueen

God cares. If He didn't he wouldn't have sent His Son to die on the Cross. No matter what happens in your life don't you ever believe that God does not care about you!!!!

As far as the mother & son. What you have is a world that does not care. When the world and people reject Jesus Christ they are rejecting the only hope there is for true and lasting change in their lives. So the societies that spring up without Him to help and guide them are deficient in the most basic moral and spiritual characteristics in any lasting way. Add to that the Adversary that will tell them anything that keeps them from the one true God and you have a very sick world.

Add to that the very word "Love" and how it has been perverted and somehow allows some (mother of the son) to communicate that what happened to you is somehow acceptable and you have a world on the edge of self destruction.

However, know one thing that God loves you unconditionally as do your Brothers & Sisters in Christ Jesus! We will be praying for you, but you will need to do this as well. You may never find understanding except to know that it is not about you personally, except that as a Christian, a Believer you have all the support you need to get through this. He will and is there for you. Reach out and He will guide you the rest of the way in your walk with Him.

Just don't look to the world to provide you the answers. For it is the very world that set in motion the conditions for what happened to you. Though that is not an excuse for what your ex-boyfriend did or what his mother has said. No. Each one of us will have to give account for our lives. Just know that in Christ Jesus you have the only defender that will cleanse you of any wrong doing. Keep trusting in Him and He will be there for you when it all seems overwhelming as it does now.

Continuing to pray for you little sister.
YBIC
C4E
<><

 

[PreciousQueen]

@PreciousQueen

God cares. If He didn't he wouldn't have sent His Son to die on the Cross. No matter what happens in your life don't you ever believe that God does not care about you!!!!

As far as the mother & son. What you have is a world that does not care. When the world and people reject Jesus Christ they are rejecting the only hope there is for true and lasting change in their lives. So the societies that spring up without Him to help and guide them are deficient in the most basic moral and spiritual characteristics in any lasting way. Add to that the Adversary that will tell them anything that keeps them from the one true God and you have a very sick world.

Add to that the very word "Love" and how it has been perverted and somehow allows some (mother of the son) to communicate that what happened to you is somehow acceptable and you have a world on the edge of self destruction.

However, know one thing that God loves you unconditionally as do your Brothers & Sisters in Christ Jesus! We will be praying for you, but you will need to do this as well. You may never find understanding except to know that it is not about you personally, except that as a Christian, a Believer you have all the support you need to get through this. He will and is there for you. Reach out and He will guide you the rest of the way in your walk with Him.

Just don't look to the world to provide you the answers. For it is the very world that set in motion the conditions for what happened to you. Though that is not an excuse for what your ex-boyfriend did or what his mother has said. No. Each one of us will have to give account for our lives. Just know that in Christ Jesus you have the only defender that will cleanse you of any wrong doing. Keep trusting in Him and He will be there for you when it all seems overwhelming as it does now.

Continuing to pray for you little sister.
YBIC
C4E
<><

I know God is still here, but why is he allowing my ex to walk free? I have a text from him saying he did it. The police have not arrested him and the original officer seemed surprised at that. What could Gods purpose be in that?

 

[Christ4Ever]

@PreciousQueen

I must ask. You were concerned in different posts about your ex-boyfriend not being saved and going to jail. This means you really have to ask yourself these questions. Are you seeking man's justice or God's? Or do you just want to know that he has been punished for what he has done? If you desire God's justice then leave it in His hands to deal with and also know this about your ex-boyfriend should you do so:

Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. Galatians 6:7

"who "will render to each one according to his deeds": Romans 2:6

If it's man justice that you are seeking. Then do so. Just going to the Police doesn't have to be the end of your inquiries. Go to the Attorney General's Office of your state. Plead your case before them and here is a parable that our Lord used that might help you understand what you must do.

Then He spoke a parable to them, that men always ought to pray and not lose heart, 2 saying: "There was in a certain city a judge who did not fear God nor regard man. 3 "Now there was a widow in that city; and she came to him, saying, 'Get justice for me from my adversary.' 4 "And he would not for a while; but afterward he said within himself, 'Though I do not fear God nor regard man, 5 'yet because this widow troubles me I will avenge her, lest by her continual coming she weary me.' " Luke 18:1-8

So it speaks of perseverance. You keep at it, and keep at it, and keep at it! You wear them down. If this is what you decide to do. Also, understand that it will take much from you, should you embark on this path. So every step of the way pray, pray, and pray some more. Pray over those you talk to, and those who will listen to your cause. Yet, don't expect this battle to be short, but expect it to be prolonged if that is what you desire.

Special Note: I will not leave out the rest of the parable so that you might garner a bit more understanding. The last verses that our Lord said:

6 Then the Lord said, "Hear what the unjust judge said. 7 "And shall God not avenge His own elect who cry out day and night to Him, though He bears long with them? 8 "I tell you that He will avenge them speedily. Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will He really find faith on the earth?" Romans 18:6-8

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You have stated that he has texted you. However, you have not said whether you have responded back to him and what you may have said. One thing I do suggest is that you don't do in kind to his words to you. Instead here a couple of phrases you can use and maybe other Brothers & Sisters in Christ Jesus may also add some suggestions as well.

"Jesus Christ knows what you have done. Turn to Him and He will forgive you."
"Jesus Christ will forgive you if you repent and turn to Him."
"Jesus Christ died so that your sins may be forgiven"

If you notice what the trend with the above replies. It is the name of "Jesus Christ"! There is power in His name!!! It will ring in His head long afterwards. The name of Jesus will stay there and will come back no matter how hard he tries to get rid of it. As horrendous was the act he perpetrated on you is. In truth we all would desire that he repent at the foot of the Cross. For only through Jesus Christ can any cleansing and rebirth be found. Even for such a sinner as your ex-boyfriend.

Know that I will continue to pray for you little sister no matter what you decide to do.
YBIC
C4E
<><

 

[PreciousQueen]

It's not easy remaining silent. I can't even begin to describe the pain I've been going through, how much it builds up more when a counselor helps me grealizes he's done more. I wish he could be saved, but do you think I want to hear him being declared innocent of everything he's done?
“Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God. So anyone who rebels against authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and they will be punished. For the authorities do not strike fear in people who are doing right, but in those who are doing wrong. Would you like to live without fear of the authorities? Do what is right, and they will honor you. The authorities are God’s servants, sent for your good. But if you are doing wrong, of course you should be afraid, for they have the power to punish you. They are God’s servants, sent for the very purpose of punishing those who do what is wrong. So you must submit to them, not only to avoid punishment, but also to keep a clear conscience.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭13:1-5‬ ‭NLT‬‬

 

[Christ4Ever]

So you believe that if he were cleared by the civil authorities that he would also be cleared in God's eyes?

 

[Christ4Ever]

My heart rends itself for what has happened to you. So we will continue to pray for you and truly desire a peace and a rest from what has happened which escapes you now, but not forever. "And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away." Revelation 21:4

Believe that in Jesus Christ you can find the peace that is now escaping you. The world does not and cannot understand that even in such tragic circumstance that peace is there in Him.

They have taken much already. Do not give him the victory that you have in Jesus! You continue to worship and praise God through the tears that roll down your checks. Do so! Stand up shout the Lords name. Let your voice be heard and let all know that no matter what you go through in this life your love of the Lord will never bend, waiver, or break. This too will pass away and as it says in the Psalms "...Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning."

Don't let the hate they are filled with be yours too. Haven't they taken enough from you already? Never let them take the Joy of the Lord from you!!!!! This in Christ Jesus you can control. You are not defeated! You are victorious in Christ Jesus!

Praying for you!
In Christ Jesus

 

[Thiscrosshurts]

why does it feel like God doesn't care? After seeing my ex boyfriend after he raped me, he looks like he never cared. His mother told him " the female doesn't matter." The officer asked why hasn't he been arrested? Why is this happening?

Sister I'm praying for you also,that God would restore your joy and that he would send the holy Spirit to comfort you and reveal God's love to you.

A bully has to rob others of their joy because they have none of their own.
They are hurting inside but don't even realize it because the lack of joy is normal to them.
They hate to see others have joy because it makes them feel robbed of something they can't have.
Robbing others of their joy makes them feel more powerful temporarily because they feel like they have more control in this world;

It's the same thing with love.
It's hard to believe unconditional love is real if you have not experienced it.
A child who does not feel unconditionally loved by their parents may end up connecting those feelings of rejection to love.
So they seek a relationship to satisfy their need for love.
However when they start to develop deeper feelings for this new person those feelings stir up the place where the memories connected to love are stored.
In those same memory centers the feeling of rejection is also stored and the past hurts come to the front.
This can cause them to feel the rejection all over again and the brain connects this new person to expectations of rejection.
They suddenly feel out of control of their lives and they may start to accuse the new person of the fears they have generated.
They may end up accusing the new person of being controlling since they feel robbed of control.
Or they may become suspicious and feel something is going on behind their back.
They will try to sabotage the new relationship thinking it will restore their control over being hurt.

Rejection is a spirit that is always looking for new places to call home and it wants to pass along those feelings to the victims.It's hard to imagine that your ex's mother was able to show him unconditional love.
Rejection will try to rule your life and the first thing it must do is convince you that love is not real and therefore God is not real.
If it can't convince you that God or unconditional love is not real it will tell you that even if God's love is real he has made some kind of exception in your case.

You must ask for God's help to fight these lies.
God loves you unconditionally because God is love.
Your ex is in a painful situation thirsting for love but afraid to drink.

Please don't wander into that desert.

I will continue praying for you as will others here.
I know that by believing with you for healing heals both of us.
Praying for others is an act of love and faith and is a true form of worship.
Thank you for sharing your burden so that we can all approach his throne of grace together.

 

[PreciousQueen]

My heart rends itself for what has happened to you. So we will continue to pray for you and truly desire a peace and a rest from what has happened which escapes you now, but not forever. "And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away." Revelation 21:4

Believe that in Jesus Christ you can find the peace that is now escaping you. The world does not and cannot understand that even in such tragic circumstance that peace is there in Him.

They have taken much already. Do not give him the victory that you have in Jesus! You continue to worship and praise God through the tears that roll down your checks. Do so! Stand up shout the Lords name. Let your voice be heard and let all know that no matter what you go through in this life your love of the Lord will never bend, waiver, or break. This too will pass away and as it says in the Psalms "...Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning."

Don't let the hate they are filled with be yours too. Haven't they taken enough from you already? Never let them take the Joy of the Lord from you!!!!! This in Christ Jesus you can control. You are not defeated! You are victorious in Christ Jesus!

Praying for you!
In Christ Jesus

I think either way this is sick. Is there really any justice for what he did? I have to go through frequent panic attacks and other effects stemming from it that may never end.

 

[Brad Huber]

You can hate him until your own heart turns black and twisted, or you can learn to forgive him and move on, and with the second choice comes eventual healing and increased wisdom. These are your choices. God loves giving us choice.

 

[Christ4Ever]

Aah Little Precious Queen,

So if justice is not what you seek. What is it that you seek?

Your body may heal, but until you can do as Brother Brad Huber has said "You must forgive him". The rest of you will not. You may not understand it or even accept that it is possible for you to do. It may take time to get to that point, and there may be much tears for want of understanding of why you need to. Yet that is what you must do, if you are to move past this. Otherwise the Adversary and your ex-boy friend will always have a hold on you. Something to tare you down and bring you low. When you are able to forgive him then any hold they may have had on you will be gone. It will be them that will be left restless and wondering.

 

[Fragrant Grace]

I wish he could be saved, but do you think I want to hear him being declared innocent of everything he's done?

Greetings @PreciousQueen

When the Lord died on the cross He took away all your guilt, all your sins and washed you clean in His precious blood. You are now clothed in His righteousness....none of us deserve His great love, none of us deserve salvation.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if your ex gave his heart to the Lord and becomes a new person?

Though he hurt you badly and committed an awful act...at the end of the day he is a sinner just like you and I.... A sinner who needs salvation. Do you really want to see him condemned to hell?

Ask the Lord to soften your heart and to melt you with a little more compassion.
The devil in his ugly sneaky ways will want to keep this trial going on within you forever, he will take away your peace. The Lord wants you to have His perfect peace....focus on Him.

There is a fountain filled with blood
Drawn from Immanuel’s veins;
And sinners, plunged beneath that flood,
Lose all their guilty stains:

The dying thief rejoiced to see
That fountain in his day
And so might I though vial as he
Wash all my sins away*

Though wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed upon Thee, because he trusteth in Thee.
Isaiah 26:3


*William Cowper 18th century hymn

 

[PreciousQueen]

After reading all of these, I realize it was a mistake talking to people who have no idea about what rape does to a person. Am I hateful because I'm trying to get my voice back after my ex stole it? Is it so bad that I want to feel like a human being again and not worthless? Am I hateful that I want to see him get justice through the legal court systems as well as with God? Can not both happen?

 

[Christ4Ever]

After reading all of these, I realize it was a mistake talking to people who have no idea about what rape does to a person. Am I hateful because I'm trying to get my voice back after my ex stole it? Is it so bad that I want to feel like a human being again and not worthless? Am I hateful that I want to see him get justice through the legal court systems as well as with God? Can not both happen?

If you have felt that we have been saying to say that you are hateful or that your desire to see justice done is wrong. That is far from what we desire for you. In truth we desire peace, rest, from your ordeal and to communicate the Love of Christ Jesus which can in truth be the only one who can provide them to you.

We want you to know that you are as you have called yourself here "PRECIOUS" and not only to us, but even more so to the Lord. This is the point we desire for you to know.

You are right. I do not know what it means to have something so horrible happen to me. Yet, there is one thing I do know. None of us wants you to sit in the darkness of a desire that can easily move from "justice" to "revenge". That is why I outlined two options, but not the only options to you. This way you might see and decide for yourself in thoughtful prayerful contemplation what path to choose or go in.

I cannot in truth tell you this way or that way is better in order to achieve what you are seeking. Only you can decide what that something may be. It may not seem that way, but all who have communicated here are in and through the Love of Christ Jesus, desiring for you to know that whatever you choose to do, is best served through the knowledge of His word and Him.

If it were in our power to do. Surely each of us would wipe the experience from history so it would not have happened and if not that at least the very memory of it from you mind.

To answer your questions at the end...it would be "No" (I've already answered the "No" above about you being hateful.) and "Yes". As far as the "Yes". Don't you believe it! If you seek justice from the world's judicial system it will not absolve your ex from having to face God's justice.Scripture says that we are "appointed for men to die once, butafter this the judgment". Doesn't say that it's only for those who have not been tried by civil courts in the world who will be the ones facing judgment. No this means that man will die and face judgment. "Double Jeopardy" is man's concept and as far as I know is not God's.

I truly hope and pray in that whatever direction you find yourself traveling in. That you it will find yourself not only receiving the justice you seek, but a peace that most of us don't even understand, and the Love of the Lord be showered upon you every step of the way.
YBIC

 

[Brad Huber]

After reading all of these, I realize it was a mistake talking to people who have no idea about what rape does to a person. Am I hateful because I'm trying to get my voice back after my ex stole it? Is it so bad that I want to feel like a human being again and not worthless? Am I hateful that I want to see him get justice through the legal court systems as well as with God? Can not both happen?

Justice through the legal court system would be good. Apart from the pain he put you through, he could keep doing it to others and if you prosecute him, it might keep it from happening the next time, for with those types, there is always a next time. We are not taking his side in this, its just that most of us have been angry, very very angry before and it only hurts us mostly. As to God's justice, that is up to God. He hears your prayers and if you want the rapist to suffer, then by all means ask God to make him suffer on this earth. But asking God for the rapist to suffer eternal damnation would never please God. For we all fall short and sin ourselves and if we cant forgive others, we shall not be forgiven. That being said, God understands that you cannot forgive him while its still so fresh in your torn heart. I gladly pray for you.

 

[Fragrant Grace]

After reading all of these, I realize it was a mistake talking to people who have no idea about what rape does to a person. Am I hateful because I'm trying to get my voice back after my ex stole it? Is it so bad that I want to feel like a human being again and not worthless? Am I hateful that I want to see him get justice through the legal court systems as well as with God? Can not both happen?

@PreciousQueen

Many people here have been through what you have been through and do understand. They are praying and seeking to help you through this.

You are not alone.

Nothing can change what has happened....and your feelings will be raw.
But the Lord offers you His love and His peace, and He will equip you to carry on. The devil will do the opposite and attempt to keep you in pain and fear.

Grasp the hand of the Lord and move forward.
The Lord will deal with things.... His justice is perfect

He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.
He telleth the number of the stars; He calleth them all by their names.
Great is our Lord, and of great power: His understanding is infinite.
The LORD lifteth up the meek
Psalm 147:3-6

I am closing this thread temporarily to allow time for prayer and consideration.....knowing that the Lord is abundantly able to heal and repair all hurts.