PhoenixRising
Member
- Joined
- Oct 19, 2009
- Messages
- 105
Hello,
I'm not sure if I'm posting in the right Forum but if I'm not, then I'm sure Chad or SpiritLedEd or one of the other Mods will move this post to the correct one.
I hope all is well with everyone and your loved ones and even though it's a little late in the year, I still want to wish you all a belated, blessed New Year AND Happy Resurrection Day in advance.
It's been a little over a year since I last logged in to this wonderful forum. Many things have transpired...I moved from the West Coast (CA) back to the east Coast (MD) and I'm starting life all over again. Seems as if I keep "starting over"(NOT from State to State) and I'm tired, very tired and just worn out and down.
Life for me is not worth living if I don't know my purpose in God. I have to have a reason for getting up in the morning. Without knowing or having a clue about God's vision for my life and future, I don't feel much of anything anymore. Everyday is essentially the same...no purpose, nothing accomplished beyond (doing my job). Working to pay my bills and the rest of it all just don't hold any attraction for me anymore. I feel like I'm merely existing, not living and that's just not acceptable or good enough!
I feel numb most of the time, my emotions are all but suppressed and I do enough on any given day just to get by. That's just not good enough and without a vision for my life, I'm truly perishing....just like God said in the Bible about His people (Proverbs 29:18).
I'm not talking about suicide or anything like that (that's in the past, PRAISE GOD!!) but I have felt so very lost and walking in this seemingly endless dark tunnel is so wearing and numbing. I am so very tired and weary of heart, soul and spirit.
It has come to the point of this: Either God will show me and guide and instruct me as to what to do, how to do it, when to do it etc or He might as well just rapture me here and now.
Nothing but showing me and knowing His vision and purpose for my life will do. This will strengthen me, give me hope, refresh my spirit, renew my soul and enable me to get going. Hope deferred, weakens the spirit and dries up your soul. After all, how long can you keep being disappointed and betrayed by people and life's circumstances before your heart completely breaks and your will to go on is ground down to zero?
All the above and more, are the reasons why I want to fast and I'm hoping there will be others who may want to join me, for their own personal reasons. I need to seek God's face and I want to draw near Him into a very intimate relationship and very, very close walk and companionship.
Even if no one is interested, (I'm hoping some will be) I will still proceed with the fast. This is a life or death situation for me....I will either come to truly know who God is and enjoy and delight in His presence and guidance or I might as well just lay down and die.
However, I choose to live and I want to live onto God because I love Him and I know, that I know, that I know, He loves me deeply, passionately and zealously. I can't and will not let go of that kind of love and I want to experience that kind of love in all its fullness. It's my birthright and I refuse to allow Satan to rob me of all the wonder of God's love for me and the blessings He has for me.
It's time for me to claim my inheritance and to lay hold of God's loving promises to me. Will you join me in a Fast unto God??
I'm not sure if I'm posting in the right Forum but if I'm not, then I'm sure Chad or SpiritLedEd or one of the other Mods will move this post to the correct one.
I hope all is well with everyone and your loved ones and even though it's a little late in the year, I still want to wish you all a belated, blessed New Year AND Happy Resurrection Day in advance.
It's been a little over a year since I last logged in to this wonderful forum. Many things have transpired...I moved from the West Coast (CA) back to the east Coast (MD) and I'm starting life all over again. Seems as if I keep "starting over"(NOT from State to State) and I'm tired, very tired and just worn out and down.
Life for me is not worth living if I don't know my purpose in God. I have to have a reason for getting up in the morning. Without knowing or having a clue about God's vision for my life and future, I don't feel much of anything anymore. Everyday is essentially the same...no purpose, nothing accomplished beyond (doing my job). Working to pay my bills and the rest of it all just don't hold any attraction for me anymore. I feel like I'm merely existing, not living and that's just not acceptable or good enough!
I feel numb most of the time, my emotions are all but suppressed and I do enough on any given day just to get by. That's just not good enough and without a vision for my life, I'm truly perishing....just like God said in the Bible about His people (Proverbs 29:18).
I'm not talking about suicide or anything like that (that's in the past, PRAISE GOD!!) but I have felt so very lost and walking in this seemingly endless dark tunnel is so wearing and numbing. I am so very tired and weary of heart, soul and spirit.
It has come to the point of this: Either God will show me and guide and instruct me as to what to do, how to do it, when to do it etc or He might as well just rapture me here and now.
Nothing but showing me and knowing His vision and purpose for my life will do. This will strengthen me, give me hope, refresh my spirit, renew my soul and enable me to get going. Hope deferred, weakens the spirit and dries up your soul. After all, how long can you keep being disappointed and betrayed by people and life's circumstances before your heart completely breaks and your will to go on is ground down to zero?
All the above and more, are the reasons why I want to fast and I'm hoping there will be others who may want to join me, for their own personal reasons. I need to seek God's face and I want to draw near Him into a very intimate relationship and very, very close walk and companionship.
Even if no one is interested, (I'm hoping some will be) I will still proceed with the fast. This is a life or death situation for me....I will either come to truly know who God is and enjoy and delight in His presence and guidance or I might as well just lay down and die.
However, I choose to live and I want to live onto God because I love Him and I know, that I know, that I know, He loves me deeply, passionately and zealously. I can't and will not let go of that kind of love and I want to experience that kind of love in all its fullness. It's my birthright and I refuse to allow Satan to rob me of all the wonder of God's love for me and the blessings He has for me.
It's time for me to claim my inheritance and to lay hold of God's loving promises to me. Will you join me in a Fast unto God??
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