Witchcraft

[Yayii]

This subject is very hard for me since I grew up surrounded by such a cult and the consequences of it is so severe that almost lead me to suicide... I honestly lost all hope, especially knowing about Jesus and with child like faith I believed & received Him as my Lord and savior I did in my heart felt so alive, joy, peace, it was so beautiful words can’t describe I felt as if transformed, I have Jesus with me, but to be honest I didn’t know the important of having a personal relationship with the Lord, like praying, reading the word, and so on, I am not justifying in what I did and went threw but it did messed me up mentally, I just thought going to church and hear the pastor preach was enough, enough to know witchcraft is an abomination towards God, I didn’t stand my ground to the truth and when reading a book about hell I lost it mentally.... I just gave up, so early in my christian walk, I was 20 at that time and I’m 40 now with teenagers and young adults. But when I read that book fear & anxiety just took over me, the worst part I did went back to the darkness, I went to mediums and had my cards read and all but I knew deep down it was wrong, I felt so sad, so out of place, maybe like if a conviction in my heart and after awhile I stopped because I knew in my heart it was wrong.... So between my 20s up until now that I’m 40, it’s been a hell and back type of ride, every time I give up seeking I still get this urge to seek the Lord, I think about Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit but fear and anxiety grip me... I truly have a deep sorrow how I grieve the Holy Spirit each time I give up... God only knows what I have in my heart, and I’m hoping in truly desiring to Love Him with all my mind, spirit, heart but a wall of fear has built up... One night I can’t recall that I had a dream walking down a flight of stairs and saw satan or a dark figure writing a bible, I woke up frightened and asked what is this about? After few years as as searching and searching for answers as to why I’m going threw this misery I started to see division, and started to ask why? To God? Why are there division among the churches? Than I started to see in the bible there was something off, I’m in special ed for many years but noticed the translation was off on few bibles, than I started to speak against the Bible but not in that way though, I started to see a lot of back and forth scripture war I call it , now I’m saying to myself omgosh I’m doomed for sure... But although I say I gave up I had and have a prayer journal where I write down what comes to mind and being lead to scriptures, I had this this thought that came to me, “My words are being perverted by men” Of course in hearing that, it wasn’t audible but I prayed Lord have mercy on all of us please.... Can someone share light and please pray about it before you answer because I truly need guidance

 

[B-A-C]

No sin is too big for God. No demons (or witchcraft) is greater than God. Satan tries to bring fear and doubt to us, but God's faithfulness remains. He is faithful even when we are not.
There are divisions in churches for many reasons.... doctrine, type of government in the church, rules, grace, legalism, synergism, antimonianism, Calvinisn vs Arminianism, pick one.
God's word is not distorted.

Isa 40:8; The grass withers, the flower fades, But the word of our God stands forever.

1Pet 1:25; BUT THE WORD OF THE LORD ENDURES FOREVER." And this is the word which was preached to you.

There are certainly other book that some churches who say they are Christian revere as highly (or even more highly) than the Bible. But these are false churches.
Sometimes we focus too much on trying to bring peace and cohesion between the denominations. I think God wants peace between Christians brothers. We aren't supposed to be arguing all the time.
But Jesus Himself said...

Matt 10:34; "Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.
Luke 12:51; "Do you suppose that I came to grant peace on earth? I tell you, no, but rather division;

Many Christians are willing "to go with the flow".. just go along with the world and the crowd no matter what they teach or believe. But we are told to put on the armor of God and stand firm.
I will indeed pray for you.

 

[Yayii]

@B-A-C Thank you so much for your response, truly means a lot... I didn’t mean to or my intentions to speak against the bible, or my brothers & sisters... As I type this my eyes truly gets watery because and not because I want to be pity or nothing but because I cry so deep within the pit of my stomach so much concerning about the Lord... I will not lie that there are things in my heart and life that I know I’m not living correctly but I want the Lord to yank all things that I have but I also understand we have the free will to choose whom we serve and I’m so for it 100% to the Lord and want to have peace and that confidence standing in faith and know God is with me but the current sometimes take over.... My earthly family, especially my kids are doing the same patterns I grew up in and it breaks me and try on my own strength to correct them but hearing so much what you mentioned about different in churches it makes it uneasy.... Maybe there is a purpose why? And because I’ve been heart in my life I also built a wall of control because I don’t want to get heart... But I’m not a saint as well, I built up bitterness, if you heart me by words I go physically attacking... I was bullied since I was 8-9 and had intrusive thoughts not knowing