heart.on.fire
Member
- Joined
- Jul 22, 2012
- Messages
- 2
Hello,
Since being born again and baptised in 2009, I haven't been in a relationship. I prayed for a husband and my home group prayed with me also.
Not long afterwards I moved jobs and in the new job there is a Christian man who is single. I didn't like him and felt he was too old for me. He started sending lengthy emails to me, at which I replied saying it was good to get along as colleagues but I didn't want to get into such long discussions.
Several months passed and we were in the office alone quite often which was intense. I pray daily for the protection of the Armour of God, and for not a hint of sexual immorality, and God has answered the prayers. However, he came over to talk to me frequently and we talked about our faith, our testimony etc. He shared with me the struggles of his life and I began to sympathise, I prayed for him and his church in my own space and I began to love him from my heart.
I felt I was in the centre of God's will and I was allowing the spirit to lead me. Eventually we went on one date to the art gallery. I continued to pray for purity and have never touched him.
One day I said that I would go out with him, but not because I wanted to, it was like when a pushy salesperson comes into your home and you agree to buy something just to get them to go away. He took this very seriously and now I feel that I'm locked into some kind of covenant that looks like a nightmare. I want to love him as a brother in Christ, and deep down I don't want a romantic relationship.
At the same time I feel that I am going through a process of grieving, surrendering, and adjusting to what I can only imagine is being married to this man. This process of surrender and change has been going on for several months.
I want to do the will of God but the whole prospect of being with this man fills me with dread. I want to get out before it goes any further, before any actual marriage or anything takes place, after which you can't get out. I have been tempted to look for other jobs and ways out, but I understand God has a purpose for his trials.
Godly counsel would be appreciated. Thank you.
Since being born again and baptised in 2009, I haven't been in a relationship. I prayed for a husband and my home group prayed with me also.
Not long afterwards I moved jobs and in the new job there is a Christian man who is single. I didn't like him and felt he was too old for me. He started sending lengthy emails to me, at which I replied saying it was good to get along as colleagues but I didn't want to get into such long discussions.
Several months passed and we were in the office alone quite often which was intense. I pray daily for the protection of the Armour of God, and for not a hint of sexual immorality, and God has answered the prayers. However, he came over to talk to me frequently and we talked about our faith, our testimony etc. He shared with me the struggles of his life and I began to sympathise, I prayed for him and his church in my own space and I began to love him from my heart.
I felt I was in the centre of God's will and I was allowing the spirit to lead me. Eventually we went on one date to the art gallery. I continued to pray for purity and have never touched him.
One day I said that I would go out with him, but not because I wanted to, it was like when a pushy salesperson comes into your home and you agree to buy something just to get them to go away. He took this very seriously and now I feel that I'm locked into some kind of covenant that looks like a nightmare. I want to love him as a brother in Christ, and deep down I don't want a romantic relationship.
At the same time I feel that I am going through a process of grieving, surrendering, and adjusting to what I can only imagine is being married to this man. This process of surrender and change has been going on for several months.
I want to do the will of God but the whole prospect of being with this man fills me with dread. I want to get out before it goes any further, before any actual marriage or anything takes place, after which you can't get out. I have been tempted to look for other jobs and ways out, but I understand God has a purpose for his trials.
Godly counsel would be appreciated. Thank you.
