Worst day of my life. I need help please!

[JordanL103]

So this morning I just had an argument with my mother. I know, it was my fault starting it and I was being a ignorant person again and pissed her off. I had made my mom angry so constantly and frequently that she obviously had ENOUGH. I can tell. And she got really mad and out of control and said some really nasty and disgusting stuff. It's more nasty than you can imagine. I am a 17 year old guy, almost 18. that is a little bit shy and what you call flamboyant but it's only my personality and she made fun of me and called me a word which basically is a serious insult about someone that looks like a tranny. That disgusted me to the guts. And that was not all. I thought I am done with her. My mom loved me so much and everyone knew that but it was not the mom I know. It was not. She was trying to say stuff to hurt me as bad as she can and that's not my mom. I don't know who this is. I know it was my fault, also being a 17 year old I should be mature and not make my mother angry but what she did was... I don't even know what to say. And the funny thing is she's probably still mad at me. Since my apartment is a pretty high end apartment and they've got this computer room that you can use so I stayed here for the entire day from 10:30 AM til now(2:30 AM, 16 hours lol) all I ate was 2 cookies. I don't feel like sleeping because there is no way I'm going back to the same room with her. Guys, what should I do? how would you feel in this situation? This is the most horrible day of my life and I cannot think right now. I am so overwhelmed and sad.
Having flashbacks of how my mom was so sweet to me, and what happened today... I can't process it. I'd rather sleep in this computer room than going back home and be with her. So you can imagine how I feel. I just don't know what to think and I feel so horrible.
How can any mother say something like that to her OWN child? how? I'm so tired of sitting here and be like this but I have no choice.
I know she wouldn't care if I didn't even come home for an entire day because she always knew I would apologize first. Not this time. It's just when you think about it it's sad.
I don't know if I plan on ever forgiving her.
I'm feeling worse every second. I just don't know why my life is like this. Who goes through stuff like this? I just can't believe me that's the same mom I used to have. Oh believe I didn't even tell you the whole thing she said to me, and what I told you is not even the whole story, just a phrase taken directly from her. People with weak hearts probably would've killed themselves. I have almost starved to death by eating only 2 cookies and I survived it. I LOVE eating and I always apologize to my mom first because it's always my fault, but not this time. I'll starve, I'll not sleep. I don't want to be in the same room with her, or even see her face. I am DONE. It's 3 AM now and she doesn't even check on me at all. Lols. I don't think anyone can understand how serious this is. And what I went through and felt today. Normal kids with a normal life would be happily with their mom, living a normal weekend life, eating at home and sleeping by now. Apparently that's not me. Lol. Normally I would be drifting off to sleep by this time, but not today. I'm not even thinking, feeling anything. It's like I'm a numb emotionless robot. I just need someone to counsel me and tell me what I should do and what you think of this situation, and what would you do? thank you so much! I cannot keep it all to myself, I had to talk it out. All my life my mom was the only one that cared about me and loved me so much with all her heart, this is not her today. It was not. I'm sorry mom, I can't forgive you.

 

[Brad Huber]

How can anyone antagonize the mother they love, so much... that she snaps. Begin by asking her for forgiveness for your rudeness to her, and forgive what she said to you, it was obviously not said in love and not because she believes it to be true. Then follow up by treating your mother better. If you cant forgive others, you yourself will NOT be forgiven.

 

[Christ4Ever]

Dear @JordanL103
As my Brother in Christ Jesus said. You need to ask for for forgiveness. For it was your actions that started it. Not trying to justify what your mother said or did afterwards. Many times our behavior will dictate how others respond to us. Your mom's behavior is something she must come to grips with and maybe praying for her might help in doing so. It's your actions, which you can control, are what's important now.

"For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 "But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions. Matthew 6:14-15

Being reminded, Peter said to Him, "Rabbi, look, the fig tree which You cursed has withered." Mark 11:21

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32

One of the hardest things to do is what Jesus said, and something we/you truly need to put into practice. "But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who [fn]mistreat you.

Also, don't think to hurt yourself as a way of getting back at her. I'm sure there are times in your life that your mom and you got along, had laughs, hugs, and experiences that if you put your mind to, would probably have you crying for the happiness they bring you. So, don't think to hurt yourself as a way of getting back at her. Some actions can't be retrieved or taken back.

I'll pray for you Jordan that you may be reconciled with your mother and are able to put this situation behind you.
Nick
<><

P.S. Welcome to Talk Jesus Jordan. I hope you find the peace, hope, and Love in Christ Jesus that will see you through this time in your life.

 

[i777]

So this morning I just had an argument with my mother. I know, it was my fault starting it and I was being a ignorant person again and pissed her off. I had made my mom angry so constantly and frequently that she obviously had ENOUGH. I can tell. And she got really mad and out of control and said some really nasty and disgusting stuff. It's more nasty than you can imagine. I am a 17 year old guy, almost 18. that is a little bit shy and what you call flamboyant but it's only my personality and she made fun of me and called me a word which basically is a serious insult about someone that looks like a tranny. That disgusted me to the guts. And that was not all. I thought I am done with her. My mom loved me so much and everyone knew that but it was not the mom I know. It was not. She was trying to say stuff to hurt me as bad as she can and that's not my mom. I don't know who this is. I know it was my fault, also being a 17 year old I should be mature and not make my mother angry but what she did was... I don't even know what to say. And the funny thing is she's probably still mad at me. Since my apartment is a pretty high end apartment and they've got this computer room that you can use so I stayed here for the entire day from 10:30 AM til now(2:30 AM, 16 hours lol) all I ate was 2 cookies. I don't feel like sleeping because there is no way I'm going back to the same room with her. Guys, what should I do? how would you feel in this situation? This is the most horrible day of my life and I cannot think right now. I am so overwhelmed and sad.
Having flashbacks of how my mom was so sweet to me, and what happened today... I can't process it. I'd rather sleep in this computer room than going back home and be with her. So you can imagine how I feel. I just don't know what to think and I feel so horrible.
How can any mother say something like that to her OWN child? how? I'm so tired of sitting here and be like this but I have no choice.
I know she wouldn't care if I didn't even come home for an entire day because she always knew I would apologize first. Not this time. It's just when you think about it it's sad.
I don't know if I plan on ever forgiving her.
I'm feeling worse every second. I just don't know why my life is like this. Who goes through stuff like this? I just can't believe me that's the same mom I used to have. Oh believe I didn't even tell you the whole thing she said to me, and what I told you is not even the whole story, just a phrase taken directly from her. People with weak hearts probably would've killed themselves. I have almost starved to death by eating only 2 cookies and I survived it. I LOVE eating and I always apologize to my mom first because it's always my fault, but not this time. I'll starve, I'll not sleep. I don't want to be in the same room with her, or even see her face. I am DONE. It's 3 AM now and she doesn't even check on me at all. Lols. I don't think anyone can understand how serious this is. And what I went through and felt today. Normal kids with a normal life would be happily with their mom, living a normal weekend life, eating at home and sleeping by now. Apparently that's not me. Lol. Normally I would be drifting off to sleep by this time, but not today. I'm not even thinking, feeling anything. It's like I'm a numb emotionless robot. I just need someone to counsel me and tell me what I should do and what you think of this situation, and what would you do? thank you so much! I cannot keep it all to myself, I had to talk it out. All my life my mom was the only one that cared about me and loved me so much with all her heart, this is not her today. It was not. I'm sorry mom, I can't forgive you.

Don't be concerned about the attacks from the devil. He will be defeated soon anyway.

 

[Debwater]

So this morning I just had an argument with my mother. I know, it was my fault starting it and I was being a ignorant person again and pissed her off. I had made my mom angry so constantly and frequently that she obviously had ENOUGH. I can tell. And she got really mad and out of control and said some really nasty and disgusting stuff. It's more nasty than you can imagine. I am a 17 year old guy, almost 18. that is a little bit shy and what you call flamboyant but it's only my personality and she made fun of me and called me a word which basically is a serious insult about someone that looks like a tranny. That disgusted me to the guts. And that was not all. I thought I am done with her. My mom loved me so much and everyone knew that but it was not the mom I know. It was not. She was trying to say stuff to hurt me as bad as she can and that's not my mom. I don't know who this is. I know it was my fault, also being a 17 year old I should be mature and not make my mother angry but what she did was... I don't even know what to say. And the funny thing is she's probably still mad at me. Since my apartment is a pretty high end apartment and they've got this computer room that you can use so I stayed here for the entire day from 10:30 AM til now(2:30 AM, 16 hours lol) all I ate was 2 cookies. I don't feel like sleeping because there is no way I'm going back to the same room with her. Guys, what should I do? how would you feel in this situation? This is the most horrible day of my life and I cannot think right now. I am so overwhelmed and sad.
Having flashbacks of how my mom was so sweet to me, and what happened today... I can't process it. I'd rather sleep in this computer room than going back home and be with her. So you can imagine how I feel. I just don't know what to think and I feel so horrible.
How can any mother say something like that to her OWN child? how? I'm so tired of sitting here and be like this but I have no choice.
I know she wouldn't care if I didn't even come home for an entire day because she always knew I would apologize first. Not this time. It's just when you think about it it's sad.
I don't know if I plan on ever forgiving her.
I'm feeling worse every second. I just don't know why my life is like this. Who goes through stuff like this? I just can't believe me that's the same mom I used to have. Oh believe I didn't even tell you the whole thing she said to me, and what I told you is not even the whole story, just a phrase taken directly from her. People with weak hearts probably would've killed themselves. I have almost starved to death by eating only 2 cookies and I survived it. I LOVE eating and I always apologize to my mom first because it's always my fault, but not this time. I'll starve, I'll not sleep. I don't want to be in the same room with her, or even see her face. I am DONE. It's 3 AM now and she doesn't even check on me at all. Lols. I don't think anyone can understand how serious this is. And what I went through and felt today. Normal kids with a normal life would be happily with their mom, living a normal weekend life, eating at home and sleeping by now. Apparently that's not me. Lol. Normally I would be drifting off to sleep by this time, but not today. I'm not even thinking, feeling anything. It's like I'm a numb emotionless robot. I just need someone to counsel me and tell me what I should do and what you think of this situation, and what would you do? thank you so much! I cannot keep it all to myself, I had to talk it out. All my life my mom was the only one that cared about me and loved me so much with all her heart, this is not her today. It was not. I'm sorry mom, I can't forgive you.

 

[Debwater]

Hi Jordan-
I am brand new to this forum and yours was the first post I read. I guess the Lord led me to this. I just want to say my heart goes out to you. If I was in person with you I would give you a Great Big Jesus hug, filled with love and compassion. I have 3 grown kids and when I get into an Argument with one them I feel so hurt and angry all at once. But at the end of the day we always make up with one another. To have peace and forgiveness with one another is the best thing. Does your Mom follow Jesus? Is she a born again believer? I pray that your Mom shows you the love, compassion and peace that your relationship should have. I just want to add this I feel your pain and I am so, so sorry that you went through this. I hope you are all right now. As I am writing this a few days after you posted this. Like I stated I am new to this and your posting stood out to me.

Psalm 40:1-2

I waited patiently for the LORD; And He inclined to me and heard my cry. He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay, And He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm.

Psalm 69:16-17

Answer me, O LORD, for Your loving kindness is good; According to the greatness of Your compassion, turn to me, And do not hide Your face from Your servant, For I am in distress; answer me quickly.

Blessings and peace upon you.

Debbie

 

[Holly Hobbie]

Yes I agree you need to apologize for your behavior and also learn to forgive......It may seem easy for me to say but I grew up in abusive homes where hurtful insults were common amongst my sisters and parents and I ....I developed anorexia and then in my adult years began to over eat and gained more weight and didn't care.
I finally had to sit him down one day (my dad) and tell him calling me rotund and some of the words or "nick names " have stuck with me through the years and can never be erased but that I would forgive him for anything past or present he has done to me but I apparently hung onto and believed those horrible words and names said to me and married a man who has abused me in more ways than i can say the worst being verbal and emotional
I am choosing to forgive my husband for the years of abuse but I must move on..
The bes thing you can do for yourself is forgive your mom and be strong and forgive her otherwise you are letting Satan control and destroy you.