Youve gotta call me dad

[amanda123]

Have a problem.

my oldest children are not my hubbys bioligcal children. they are from a previous relationship.

they have always called him pops

Now he has said they must call him dad. It is hard as they dont always remember too and he wont speak to them anymore if they say pops.

It realy upsets me loads and is confusing for them.

Any Godly advice please.

 

[Coconut]

amanda, you must tell this to your husband, and come to some sort of agreement between the two of you.

A lack of unity between parents in family matters is more damaging to children in the long term than one or the other being to hard on them.

Blessings

 

[farout]

you leave a lot of information out, so I will give you the best underthe circumstance. If your kids are in contact with their biodad than your hubby has no reight to ask such a thing. Why all of a sudden does he want the change to dad? Whats wrong with pops? Does you prior relationship send child support?

My thinking is he may win the war over calling him dad, but inside they will resent it, and that won't build closeness, so maybe he had better think and talk openly with the kids as to why he asks for this. The very best is a compremise so everyone wins. Maybe if they say theu are uncomfortable about calling him dad this can be worked out for the best for all of you.

I sure hope you and the hubby and kidos are all involved in a Bible believing church, if not the real odds of you holding this family together are not too great. If not than make this as high a pppriority as possible.

 

[Rev T.S.Perkins]

it doesnt matter what they call him as long as he calls them son..as Christ does us

 

[Quasicentennium]

Try a rewarding trick or technique such as reading out a children's book of fairytales that really grabs their enthusiastic interest. That way they will say Dad instead of Pops. I would say to them: Hey guys, I promise you to read your favorite children's book or fairy tale if you say Dad instead of Pops.
Or promise to say Dad and I will hug and tickle you laughing.
Or maybe a couple of lollies - it's almost like training your puppy to Be Quiet! and I will give some facial cheek hugs.
:lightbulb:girl_hug:
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[amanda123]

its hard because of the sudden change

he says he wont speak if thet dont call him dad.

so there is often silence when they try to talk.

he lets his own biologigal children still call him pops

it seems very unfair

i will try my hardest

 

[amanda123]

it doesnt matter what they call him as long as he calls them son..as Christ does us

Yes that is so true thank you

 

[amanda123]

Try a rewarding trick or technique such as reading out a children's book of fairytales that really grabs their enthusiastic interest. That way they will say Dad instead of Pops. I would say to them: Hey guys, I promise you to read your favorite children's book or fairy tale if you say Dad instead of Pops.
Or promise to say Dad and I will hug and tickle you laughing.
Or maybe a couple of lollies - it's almost like training your puppy to Be Quiet! and I will give some facial cheek hugs.
:lightbulb:girl_hug:
.:*:.

thank you i havent thought of it like that before

i will try

 

[Brighthouse]

Just a thought here. If I was one of the children,what pops is telling me,by saying do not call me this,is that I am not your father! Pops is a security blanket for the children to me. They know he is not there real dad,but it hurts them to think on this,therefore they wish to treat him,as if nothing happened.

NOW! If your husband is saying this to instruct the children, as to grow, then fine, I understand this,but if he is leaving them in the dark as to why he does not wish to be called this,then the children suffer. Our Father in heaven allows things to happen for a reason,we do not always know what that is at the time.But we do find out.WHY? Because how can you place faith in someone if you never know why he allows things to happens to us? We also are responsible to seek out why! Not just ask why!( matt 7:7)

I would have a family get together,just you all,and work this out.First you and hubby work this out,because you both must be on the same page for the children sake.

Then!! bring the children into it and explain to them,take questions and answer them the best you can.The point is the children SEE!!! you are both together on this.And this will give them greater comfort to you both! I hope this helps! Blessing to you and your family.

 

[Rev T.S.Perkins]

i just want to ad that thiis is probobly a pride thing with him //i know it was with me at one time .my wife had 4..i had one ..and we had one ..I wanted my boys to call me dad from the start..but finally told them one day ..It dosent matter what you call me im gonna call you son and daughter (2 girls 4 boys.). As soon as i did that the perssure was off ..im responosable for my attitude not thiers ..thats when they started treating me better and now 15 yrs later they introduce me as DAD because with age they have learned who is in thier cornner when it counts. in this family now we have 17 total..God has blessed my attitude with sons and daughters and best of all im PA to the 8 grand kids..TRUST ME WHEN I SAY THIS TO SHALL PASS....Lord i pray you humble this man to be who you need him to be to these children and may he know the long term blessing of his actions as well....In Jesus name.....ReV