Hi Skipbeat,
I too speak from experience in being in a relationship with an unbeliever. When I was with him I too thought I was happy and could seperate my christian faith from the fact that he wasn't a believer and I can honestly tell you as the relationship went on it became harder and harder.Did I mention I met my exboyfriend online? Yep, I did and ended up meeting him face to face and when you are face to face things tend to happen and in my case when those things started to manifest themselves my ex didn't understand why I wouldn't overstep my bounds for him before marriage and it ended up in alot of fighting and me in tears more often than not. Things might seem perfect right now with this guy, but face to face is a whole other story. You said your friend wasn't looking for a relationship when this guy came into her life...I wasn't either infact I was just beginning to heal from alot of hurt I had experienced and had just recommited myself to Jesus and my walk with Him when my ex popped up. In the beginning it was great but then guess what I couldn't talk about Jesus who was the biggest part of me with my ex and from there my walk with Jesus got pushed to the side as I tried more and more to accomodate my ex...that's not how it's supposed to be at all. God must always come first in our lives and that includes in our relationships as well and if we are struggling or pushing aside our walk with Jesus than the relationship isn't healthy and will only end up in hurt. I don't want to see this happen to your friend like it happened to me. God isn't willing for any of us to settle on what we feel is great, He wants us to wait on Him becaus He knows what is Best and wants us to have the Best that He can give.
You asked if you were just supposed to tell your friend to break off the relationship with this guy who is a non believer...my advice is yes she should break it off. This is what I had to do even though it was hard and painful, After two years of dating I choose to end the relationship based on the fact that if I had to hide my Jesus and love for Him from my boyfriend then it just wasn't gonna work out. Did I get sad and depressed sure I did. When things end it's a very hard and sad time, but I had God to lean on Just as your friend does. She will be sad for a time, but God will ease her pain and mend that which is broken. You also mentioned that she has tried to look else where for someone who is a believer. Sometimes we need to take a break from looking and let God do the looking for us while we concentrate on our relationship with Him. As we grow in Him and our relationship grows with him we become more prepared for a relationship with that person God has intended us to be with. When I dated my ex I was 34 and when the relationship ended I was 36. Now, Im 42 and have been single for 6 years now and am waiting on God. Who knows one day while i'm at the supermarket that man He designed for me could be there, or maybe at the mall, or maybe even on the walking trail I so love to spend time walking on in the summer time...His timing is not our timing and i've found the most peace and enjoyment in my life waiting on my God.
So, in short my advice to your friend is this...please examine this relationship you are in and make sure you are in it for the right reasons not the wrong ones. To constantly pray to God about this relationship and seek His will and wisdom. To be totally honest she should walk away, but this has to be her choice and she can't be forced into it, and If there comes a time that she is led to walk away or end the relationship God will let her know and will give her the strength to do so and in that time she is alone my advice is wait on God and His timing. It won't be easy and yes it will hurt walking away but God will take that hurt and make it in time go away and will mend her heart and in that time that it is just her and God to just let herself self mend and work on her relationship with God and let Him work on bringing that man He has for Her into her life. I will be praying for your friend that God's blessings fall upon and fill her more than she ever thought possible.
I do hope this has helped some God bless you skipbeat and your friend.
AA
