Cohabiting and sex before marriage

[Noma]

These days there of cohabiting and sex happening before marriage, even amongst Christians and yet the Bible is so clear on this issue of sex before marriage.

On one hand, some of relationships eventually lead to successful marriages and it leads me to wonder what the harm in cohabitation and sex before marriage is. I mean, I understand that this is something not pleasing to God, but because of His forgiving nature, everything seems to turn out well.

The reason I'm asking myself this question is that as single 30 year old, I'm frustrated of waiting for the one. I look around me and a lot of girls my age who are now happily married with kids all seem to have started off as cohabiting/ sex before marriage couples. I on the other hand am this perpetually single woman, because of holding firmly to my values as a Christian.

I wonder what perspectives there are on this issue?

 

[B-A-C]

Fornication is sin, plain and simple. Does God forgive fornication? Yes he does. But what if the rapture happened while you were living in sin?
Why if you died before you had a chance to repent of this lifestyle? What if your heart gets hardened to the sin of fornication and you no longer see it as fornication?
Everything does not always turn out well in every marriage that started off in fornication. In fact usually there are more consequences from these relationships.
God does not bless those living in sin. In fact the Bible mentions the sin of certain sins getting passed on to our children.

As a side note -- as a man who has been in a few relationships of his own (even fornication).
A man will not love you more if you sleep with him. He will not love you less if you do not sleep with him. A man's love for a woman has nothing to do with whether
she sleeps with him or not. Some men use this lie to coerce women into sleeping with them. Some women want to be coerced. Another problem with living together
is that it doesn't require long term commitment, far and away MOST couples that live together never get married. Only a small percentage actually do get married.

If it turns out that you do not get married, then you have compromised your faith and relationship with God for nothing. Also once you've slept with a man it's harder
to say no to the next one. In fact some men will hold the fact that you are not a virgin against you. Some won't marry a "soiled" woman. Some men will use it as an
excuse to sleep with you. (i.e. "You slept with John before you married him, why won't you sleep with me?" ) Some men view women who have been in these relationships
as less desirable. Some men are afraid of women who have fornicated, the thinking is that if you cheated on your relationship with God, what will keep you from cheating on me?

Before I was saved, I myself have told women things like "If you really loved me, you would sleep with me." To my shame, sometimes they did. But I didn't marry them anyway.
Like I said, sex has very very little to do with love. It certainly won't make anyone love you. If a man is unwilling to prove himself to you, and unwilling to wait for you, what does
that say about his character? What does it say about his relationship with God and his priorities as a "Godly man"? What does it say about how much thinks of you and what
you want over his own selfishness?

1 Cor 6:9; Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals,
1 Cor 6:10; nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God.

It's a much bigger risk to take than most people think it is. Satan tries to minimize sin and say "It really isn't a bad as God says it is". He's right... usually it's worse.

Heb 13:4; Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

 

[Noma]

Thanks for your response, I really appreciate it. Good to be reminded of why my focus should be on God and also good to hear your perspective as an ex fornicator.

 

[Chad]

@Noma Khabo

Greetings. Please read these very important verses.

1 Corinthians 6:9-10

Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

1 Corinthians 6:18-20

Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

Romans 1:26-27

For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error.

Galatians 6:7

Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.

 

[Omee-Chan]

People will be people. I attended a Private Christian University that had only same-sex dorms and strict policies concerning the opposite genders in the same room (even family). What came to no surprise considering the majority of my friends are of the nonhetero variety, same sex rooms resulted in a ton of experimenting and relationships for them. I didn't partake but my point is just having random roommates opens the realm of possibilities to sexual experimenting. That is addressing the whole Cohabiting issue in general. As for the sex before marriage, I don't believe in marriage is something everyone has to do but that is because my parents have been together 19 years now (step dad) and openly admit that they see no reason to get married. My girlfriend on the other hand has us waiting until I put a ring on it and because I respect her faith as a christian and her as a human being, I continue to practice self control and we've lived together on and off throughout our 4 year relationship without any huge issues.

To address your personal situation: Even the Amish have a day to explore different avenues. You have limited time on this planet and God is forgiving, exercise your free will and maybe something of fortune will happen. If not, well, life is a gamble, don't go broke but also take risks.

 

[Noma]

Thanks everyone for your contributions. I gave it a lot of thought this weekend and resolved that my sights should firmly align with God's will.

One of the reasons I had started to ponder this issue is because there's a guy who is attracted to me and I'm also really attracted to him. My attraction to him is on a superficial level as he's extremely good looking and intelligent, I don't know much else about his character and values. He's an atheist, so as far as my values as a Christian are concerned he's a non starter and I have to turn down his advances/interest, despite being attracted to him.

I started thinking about this because here I am, 30 and single, others around me married with kids, most didn't start off the right way but are now married and have turned out fine. I just wondered whether I need to reconsider my priorities but that would be against God's will. I gave it a lot of thought and I realised I need to make sure I keep my focus on Jesus' will despite whatever may come my way.

 

[JJ50]

One should get to know all about one's partner before marriage, and as sex is a very big part of a relationship surely one should know one is compatible in that way too. My husband and I certainly tested the waters in that respect before we tied the knot. Our two married girls cohabited with their partners for a couple of years before they married with our blessing. There is nothing wrong with sex before marriage it is quite Biblical, Mary was pregnant with Jesus before she married him!

 

[B-A-C]

Of course Joseph didn't have sex with Mary. She wasn't pregnant from Joseph at the time. ( Luke 1:34; )
Also there are dozens of verses about fornication in the Bible. It happened in the Bible (more than once).
But it's not God's plan.

Heb 13:4; Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

1 Cor 6:9; Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals,
1 Cor 6:10; nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God.

 

[JJ50]

Of course Joseph didn't have sex with Mary. She wasn't pregnant from Joseph at the time. ( Luke 1:34; )
Also there are dozens of verses about fornication in the Bible. It happened in the Bible (more than once).
But it's not God's plan.

Heb 13:4; Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

1 Cor 6:9; Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals,
1 Cor 6:10; nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God.

Well as Mary was highly unlikely to be made pregnant by any deity, it is much more likely Joseph, or another guy, got her in the family way. I suspect the crazy 'virgin' birth story was only put around by the followers of Jesus to cover his unfortunate conception!

 

[B-A-C]

Well as Mary was highly unlikely to be made pregnant by any deity, it is much more likely Joseph, or another guy, got her in the family way. I suspect the crazy 'virgin' birth story was only put around by the followers of Jesus to cover his unfortunate conception!

You wouldn't be the first to say this.
So do you think Jesus is God? Do you think He is the Son of God? Do you think an earthly man can create God?

 

[JJ50]

You wouldn't be the first to say this.
So do you think Jesus is God? Do you think He is the Son of God? Do you think an earthly man can create God?

I think Jesus was a human like the rest of us with the same faults and failings

 

[B-A-C]

I think Jesus was a human like the rest of us with the same faults and failings

Well, he was human (at least while He was on earth) But if He has the same failings and faults as the rest of us, why should we follow Him? Why should we worship Him?

Heb 4:15; For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet He never sinned.

 

[Chad]

I think Jesus was a human like the rest of us with the same faults and failings

Proof?

 

[noma24]

One should get to know all about one's partner before marriage, and as sex is a very big part of a relationship surely one should know one is compatible in that way too. My husband and I certainly tested the waters in that respect before we tied the knot. Our two married girls cohabited with their partners for a couple of years before they married with our blessing. There is nothing wrong with sex before marriage it is quite Biblical, Mary was pregnant with Jesus before she married him!

The reason I posed my question on the TalkJesus forum is because I was interested in hearing the views of fellow born again Christians. If I wanted to hear views from the secular world, then I would have posted this question on a different platform.

Secondly, Mary was pregnant through the power of the Holy Spirit.

 

[Fragrant Grace]

I think Jesus was a human like the rest of us with the same faults and failings

The Bible says otherwise @JJ50

For He hath made Him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in Him.
2 Corinthians 5:21

For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.
Hebrews 4:15

For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow His steps: Who did no sin, neither was guile found in His mouth:
1 Peter 2:21-22

 

[JJ50]

You are entitled to your opinion about Jesus as I am to mine.

 

[Chad]

You are entitled to your opinion about Jesus as I am to mine.

Why are you here then? To argue? We do not give you opinions out God. We give the facts of who He is. Your opinions do not determine what is truth

 

[JJ50]

Why are you here then? To argue? We do not give you opinions out God. We give the facts of who He is. Your opinions do not determine what is truth

There is no evidence the deity exists let alone anything factual about it!

 

[Chad]

There is no evidence the deity exists let alone anything factual about it!

Yes there is. But you're not willing to see that. Foolishness and ignorance are not good friends of wisdom. You still ignored my question. Why are you here? I know you ignored that on purpose.

Have you bothered to look in the evidence & prophecy forum at all? You couldn't deny all the proof and the facts at all even if you tried. You cannot deny all the miracles we Christians have encountered in our lives personally with Christ. You cannot deny that the entire world started dating their calendar 2015 years ago when Jesus Christ was born. You cannot deny all the fulfilled prophecies in the Bible between the old and New Testament. You cannot deny all the scientific facts that coincide with the Bible as well.

 

[Travis]

There is no evidence the deity exists let alone anything factual about it!

Yes there is. But you're not willing to see that. Foolishness and ignorance are not good friends of wisdom. You still ignored my question. Why are you here? I know you ignored that on purpose.

Have you bothered to look in the evidence & prophecy forum at all? You couldn't deny all the proof and the facts at all even if you tried. You cannot deny all the miracles we Christians have encountered in our lives personally with Christ. You cannot deny that the entire world started dating their calendar 2015 years ago when Jesus Christ was born. You cannot deny all the fulfilled prophecies in the Bible between the old and New Testament. You cannot deny all the scientific facts that coincide with the Bible as well.

I find the logic behind those who don't believe in God, trying to convince others that he doesn't exist, quite strange. Those who do believe in God and in his Son, Jesus Christ, want others to believe in God so that they might be saved from the wrath of God. That's quite the motivation. I don't see any reason for those who don't believe in God to try and convince others that he doesn't exist except in that it might make them feel more secure in their beliefs or something.

According to the bible though, atheists don't exist.

Travis