The post title may give a hint to a problem. You mention pre-destined and I believe that, though I don't quite know how it works. I can get pretty darned close, but then I have to surrender to the thought, because it exceeds me. What I do know is that God knows: and if it's good enough for Him, it's stupendous for me!
But, back to the point, 'Forcing myself to believe'. The correct answer to that: it ain't gonna happen! Can your husband FORCE you to love him? Can you FORCE him to love you? You can force a child to clean up their room: but can you force them to WANT to clean up their room? All those things are a matter of the heart, not applied force. Integral with the heart is the spirit, as that real person inside that lives in this flesh & bones device.
The heart & spirit have different levels. There's the 'heart' or 'spirit' that makes us want to buy a new shirt, or watch a certain TV channel, or go for a walk. There's that deeper level that causes us to be enamored of someone, then perchance fall in 'love'. Love is given in quotes because it doesn't have much meaning till you get to the deeper level. Hubby can think of wifey on the way home and buy a fistful of roses, out of love. He can enjoy his wife's company very much, and the shared intimacy. But where the tires really hit the pavement, when the real journey begins, is when adversity enters in!
True, deep, abiding love is my friend, who has given up working and suffers quite a bit for it financially. Why is that true, deep, abiding love? Because he quit work so he can care for the woman he truly loves, his wife. No, she doesn't really recognize him anymore except occassionally, because of the Alzheimer's. Not much for good conversation either. She cannot go out alone for anything. She's useless for house chores, cooking etc. She needs constant helps all day long, every single day. He could have dropped her in a care home and had his employer's insurance pay for it. But, he believed. He believed to the very soul of his heart in the vow he took, out of love: "...Till death do us part..." Such love!
He set aside himself, that SELF of self, and gave that self of him over to another. It is written, "...the two shall become one flesh...', and he gives of himself to make up for what is wounded in his lovely wife's self; that he gives the very flesh of his heart & soul to the woman he TRULY LOVES!
God already loves every single human being ever born, because by His act of creation, each is actually born of Him, again beyond our understanding. Within that, and fully beyond our knowing, He desires a loving relationship with us. That's why the Scripture says that the Christians are 'The bride of Christ'. He wants a VERY close loving relationship: that the two become one flesh. The one & only thing that gets in the way of that? SELF!
John the Baptist explained the entire Bible in 6 words. Seeing Jesus passing by afar off, he said to his own disciples, "He must increase; I must decrease." By that he explained what was standing between man & God: SELF! We are to lose self to God, but nothing is lost! Why? Because God does the same in return! When we decrease ourselves in His direction, He INCREASES himself in our direction! And what part do we lose? All the BAD STUFF! And what do we receive in return? ALL THE GOOD STUFF!
We cannot 'force' ourselves to believe. We can though make a decision in our heart, that inner heart of hearts, that because we feel somehow empty, somehow incomplete, that we would desire to be filled and be complete. That which is missing is that which God possesses, and gives richly. That which completes us is the missing part: God instead of self. Because we cannot force any of this there's only one choice left: ask. Very simply, "God, if you are up there, if there truly is a God, one Almighty God of all things who created the whole universe, please, show yourself to me. And please, God, do not allow any false or phony God to horn in and deceive me: only YOU, the one True Lord God Almighty, please? I WANT to believe, God, but I just don't know how. Please, show me?"
After we ASK God, we have to then follow through on our end: LET GOD! Simple logic tells us He would know what He's doing in this, and that He is the one that has the experience there, so we relinquish our self and leave it entirely up to Him. Couldn't be easier. After that we listen and watch and turn our thoughts as much as possible from self to allow Him to come in. He will.
From there, when it does happen, we may ask Jesus to be our Lord and Savior, to wash us of all our sins forever, to put them as far away as the east is from the west. He will.
In fact, within that of pre-destination and also being the children of God, He even gives us the 'Believe', from himself, to keep forever as our own. And He will love us, fully beyond all human comprehension: and we will finally, after so many empty years, be filled and whole!
God is the missing piece in this jigsaw puzzle that is our lives, every single time! A part of man, probably a hidden Gift of God, WANTS to love! Because of my excessively wicked past life I hung out with some really mean, nasty guys. In almost ever case, where they weren't already completely fried on drugs, these mean nasty guys actually had a soft spot in there somewhere! God knows where that is. We want to love, and He will teach us how. Why? Because, if there is anything True about God it is this: HE IS THE GOD OF LOVE!
So, don't force anything. Just set aside that part of self that wants forceful control of everything in our lives [I am no different!] and open the door! After an invitation from a broken spirit crying out in emptiness He will most surely enter in through the open door of your heart, and fill and fill and fill!
JDFree
ffice
