Nan, our minds are not equipped to forget occurrences unless an occurence (from childhood) was so traumatic that the mind has graciously blocked out the memory.
To forgive, is to forgive, period. The phrase, "forgive and forget" is not in the bible as referring to us as humans. GOD can choose to forget our sins as He forgives sin and casts it into the sea. We are not God and His ways and thoughts are higher than ours.
What happens to our mind when we forgive? First of all, when we forgive others, God forgives our many sins against Him. He cannot do this until we forgive others.
Ephesians 4:31,32: "All bitterness, anger and wrath, insult and slander must be removed from you, along with all wickedness. And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ."
Second of all, as you forgive, God begins to shed His light into your being!
Eph. 5:1,2 "Therefore, be imitators of God, as dearly loved children. And walk in love, as the Messiah also loved us and gave Himself for us, a sacrificial and fragrant offering to God."
The negative memories are still there, yet God begins to show us truths about the reality of His love. He heals our memories. That does not mean that He erases them. He helps us to understand that He was there and saw and felt what happened to you.
Positive memories really do have the chance to come forth in your mind, after forgiving. Sometimes unforgiveness can even block positive memories.
I lived in darkness for many years of adulthood, bound up in a prison of my own making, unforgiving of my parents and my grandmother.
It was actually right before I forgave these people that God brought to my memory several negative occurences that I had previously "blocked" from my mind. (The mind of a human is a complex creation of God, who can understand it?)
For days, as I prayed to God for healing, I experienced very unpleasant flashbacks. They were intense and real. It was as if I was a child all over again, as if I was right there in the pain, and hearing their cruel words. I had to turn to the Lord for solace concerning these flashbacks. (I believe that the Lord was allowing these flashbacks so that I could give the pain to Him.)
Then I finally asked the Lord to take all that pain and I forgave the people who had acted in wrong ways against me. (I was 30 years old at this time of forgiveness, but I was like a small child. I was immature because of the anger I held in so many years.)
Since that time (although I am definitely not grown up yet!!!
) I have grown in Christ and He has showed me many good memories. I look at the bad memories in a different way. I look at them with Christ's Light all over them and around them. Yes, there are shadows where there is light. But my mind does not need to dwell among the shadows.
Think on these things. Things that are true, of good report. "Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable--if there is any moral excellence and if there is any praise--dwell on these things. Do what you have learned and received and heard and seen in Me, and the God of peace will be with you."
Philippians 4:8,9
That does not mean the bad memories are gone. But you have other things to think upon, and ask God to give you the grace to do so!
Read the Bible when you are overcome by remembering offenses against you. Make sure that you have sincerely prayed to forgive these offenses and offenders. And then move on.
:angry: Sometimes the enemy brings about thoughts of offenses when he senses that we've already forgiven these occurences and people. He does this to confuse us and bring up darkness and muck that you and the Lord have already taken care of!
Say to the enemy: "I already gave these things to Jesus, satan, so go away and leave me alone." Then read the Word of God and dwell in Him.
If there are any offenses that you have not given over to God and forgiven, then God will bring these to your mind as you ask Him. A part of our daily prayer should be asking God to show us if there is anyone we need to forgive.
Even if you have not forgiven the rude, thoughtless cashier at the Pharmacy, God knows it, and He can bring it to your mind so that you can forgive and cast those thoughts away.
Nan, it sounds like you are having reoccuring thoughts about someone in your past and you have already forgiven this person(s) If you are not sure if you have truly forgiven, then simply ask your Father. Simply pray and ask Him for guidance in the matter. He is more than happy to assist you and will enfold you in His love.
Unforgiveness is sin and it blocks your relationship with God. Keep in mind, however, that satan can give us false guilt to try to block our relationship with God. The only One who truly matters in this equation is God and you.
Kick the enemy out when he comes around bothering you.
