Is dating really a girl's problem

[Nathanael]

Hey, Speaking from a male perspective here.

I think there are alot of men, who like me, are looking for a long term relationship with a woman. And i have on a few occasions became impatient with the dating game, longing to find someone who i can share the rest of my life with sooner, rather than later.

But prehaps at 21 i am tending to rush myself a little. Although i cant help to think what a beautiful gift from God that marriage is.

I have never concidered myself unattractive (that means i consider myself attractive in an attempt to dull the risk of sounding vain ^_^) and i often approach (and in return am approached by) woman. But it is in my closest friendships that i have found something that is even close to what i want in a wife.

Men, well myself at least, arent always looking for women to date, I often find myself chatting with a local girl i find interesting in a very simular way that i would with my male friends. I am never considering if she is infact wife material instead realising later what a special friend they are. And it is often through these friendships that family and friends of mine, both christian and secular, have discovered their life long partners.

I am currently a university student, and despite my christian beliefs, i regularly encounter secular friends conversations discussing the lusts of the labeled "modern" dating. And have noticed a somewhat lust side in places to meet that are well known for "modern" dating. I enjoy a dance in local pubs and bars but never really consider them a place to meet other women, and im often put off by the lack of self control and temptation that these situations can often involve.

However it is also unlikely that men will find you if you lock yourself in a room and hope for someone to come bursting in the wall. My advice for you would be to start socialising (if not already) with other christians in your age group, prehaps a few friends from a local church or even organise a christian event for people of your age, we hold a local worship and fellowship event each month where the older youth (18-25) of local churches meet to worship Jesus and spend their time in fellowship with one another. Often these enviroments are perfect for young Christians to get to know each other, outside of the pressures of worldly "lust" and its view on dating.

Please remember, this is my experience of christian dating and i have only been a christian for a short time, although i do endevour to read my bible as often as possible and to research into its teachings, i do not know whether my experience is 100% the correct way to go about things. I would advise you to research biblical views on dating ... a somewhat still ongoing process for me. A sort of disclaimer to remind you that my views and experience can never be as solid as the word of God.

Nathanael

how long is that? Oh dear ^_^. I think i got a bit carried away with this subject. hehe.

 

[Alpha]

Hey, Speaking from a male perspective here.

I think there are alot of men, who like me, are looking for a long term relationship with a woman. And i have on a few occasions became impatient with the dating game, longing to find someone who i can share the rest of my life with sooner, rather than later.

But prehaps at 21 i am tending to rush myself a little. Although i cant help to think what a beautiful gift from God that marriage is.

I have never concidered myself unattractive (that means i consider myself attractive in an attempt to dull the risk of sounding vain ^_^) and i often approach (and in return am approached by) woman. But it is in my closest friendships that i have found something that is even close to what i want in a wife.

Men, well myself at least, arent always looking for women to date, I often find myself chatting with a local girl i find interesting in a very simular way that i would with my male friends. I am never considering if she is infact wife material instead realising later what a special friend they are. And it is often through these friendships that family and friends of mine, both christian and secular, have discovered their life long partners.

I am currently a university student, and despite my christian beliefs, i regularly encounter secular friends conversations discussing the lusts of the labeled "modern" dating. And have noticed a somewhat lust side in places to meet that are well known for "modern" dating. I enjoy a dance in local pubs and bars but never really consider them a place to meet other women, and im often put off by the lack of self control and temptation that these situations can often involve.

However it is also unlikely that men will find you if you lock yourself in a room and hope for someone to come bursting in the wall. My advice for you would be to start socialising (if not already) with other christians in your age group, prehaps a few friends from a local church or even organise a christian event for people of your age, we hold a local worship and fellowship event each month where the older youth (18-25) of local churches meet to worship Jesus and spend their time in fellowship with one another. Often these enviroments are perfect for young Christians to get to know each other, outside of the pressures of worldly "lust" and its view on dating.

Please remember, this is my experience of christian dating and i have only been a christian for a short time, although i do endeavor to read my bible as often as possible and to research into its teachings, i do not know whether my experience is 100% the correct way to go about things. I would advise you to research biblical views on dating ... a somewhat still ongoing process for me. A sort of disclaimer to remind you that my views and experience can never be as solid as the word of God.

Nathanael

how long is that? Oh dear ^_^. I think i got a bit carried away with this subject. hehe.

Well said. I agree with you, sometimes I just consider a girl a good friend and sometimes I may look at a girl and want something more. It really depends on the person and how well you connect.

 

[::PreciousinChrist::]

Experience

Well well..
this is quite a good subject in a way. Its sumtimes good to know what guys think as well. I may not be right on the subject...but may waver
cuz usually the girls are dumped and then they go thru those tears and pain while the guys seem emotionless!!! lol
I've been thru that many times and it reaaallllly hurts when someone dumps you!!

I've been thru several dating roads... In the end When I made Jesus Lord over my Life, Jesus completed me
...I decided never to date cuz it really hurts and I dont want to go thru it over and over again..

so I'm very strict with myself when a guy comes across in my life, whether he be a friend or jst a passerby! lol

I would first get my relationship with Jesus strong, then maybe think about other relationships..

tho sumtimes, from time to time I hope that I find the right one...lol...but then God is the Author of Love and He'll take you to that person, thats His job.. not ours.

I realised that most guys seem to like the body than the actual YOU... ( that applies to the girls 2)
While Jesus just LOVES the inner you!!


So correct/remind urself, that God will lead you to that right person
but above that, He loves jst YOU!

Love to all
Pre

 

[Buzzard Song]

Hey everybody.

Excuse me for sneakin' into this thread, but I believe that even I, a young teenage boy, can help. Even though I'm still young and I have much ahead of me to learn and witness, I still know and feel. Everyone does, young, old, male, female. I've had my share of relationships too. And after all, sometimes it takes a young mind to reveal an old secret.


Anyway, on the matter of this subject, I believe that men do both things stated here, going after women based on their looks and based on their personality, but it depends on that person. Some guys really do base all their wants for a date on looks, until they get to know the person, and they get dropped. And as Prereeta said, it really does hurt them. I've seen that before in my friends.

In the thought of dating from a male's point of view, I would say that guys do get afraid. Personally, sometimes I fear talking to some girl I like. I may not like to admit that, but it's true nonetheless. When men think about what might be in the future yet to come, fear almost always dots at least a little bit of what they see. Uncertainty in the effects of their choices leads to reluctance and sometimes apathy. I may be speaking too broadly, but based on what I've talked to with other guys of a wide range of ages, I think it happens to most Christian men, and I'm sure secular as well.

I think it should be the responsibility of Christian men to not judge women and what they "want" from them on one thing. So if a man is looking to date, they shouldn't just say "Oh look, that girl's hot, I'll go after her." No. Of course not. But also, I don't think most guys would do the opposite and go for a girl only for her personality. Shouldn't people find their significant other based on that person being perfect for them? Isn't that the point? Going back to what Nermeen said, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So, for example, what if a man was dating a woman that he knew well, but she wasn't exactly his definition of attractive. Does that mean they're not made for each other? They very well could be, yes, but I think part of what God's plan is that he made a perfect being for everyone in everyone's own eyes. Your soulmate will be beautiful, charming, desirable, and perfect to you, but maybe not to someone else. Likewise, someone who is some of those, but not all, may not be your one and only.

So, in conclusion, I think that if you do wait long enough, you will find that match. But that's not to say you can't try. Failure is part of life. You learn nothing by sitting idly by and waiting. You still have to experiment. Someday, you'll be right. Learn through pain, even though part of human nature is to avoid it, it's inevitable. God will get you through it anyway.

I hope I'm not speaking without the correct knowledge, but I felt compelled to say something of what I know. Hope I helped a bit.


God Bless,
Buzzard

 

[Turbopun]

26 year old guy here. I am still single and must say that as I get older the more content I become with my singleness. I would say the main reason behind that Jesus is becoming more and more of my first love whereas I have put the desire to find a woman and marry above Him.

By no means does that mean I am celibate (just NO). What it does mean is that I my perspective and priority has shifted. I am in a season of preparation right now. I don't want to get married soon because I want to solidify my fellowship with the Lord more to where I am less likely to forsake Him during a storm and B) I need to be in a better place to be able to minister to a would-be-wife. That means stewardship of the body I have on lease (exercise, diet, etc.), better place financially, and being a more responsible man for myself, future wife and future children.

I feel that my view on getting married has changed some as well. I have given my heart away foolishly too many times. The next time I tell a woman I love her and give her my heart fully will be at the altar.

Women out there. I know it can be frustrating for you. It is a desire of yours to marry and to have a fulfilling God-honoring intimate relationship with your future-husband. What I would say to you all is this. My definition of the word feminine is this: Inviting. Don't go chasing men, but also don't be a brick wall. If you are attracted to a single man that is God-fearing and loves Jesus above all else: be inviting. But do a double-take on yourself and make sure you love Jesus above all else. Add a dash of trusting the Lord with your heart and sexuality and I think you have the makings of a strong single woman.

Now the men (including me, eep!). It can be frustrating for us too fellas. For us, I am inclined to grab a quote from Rizen1. I like this verse now. Kind of helps sustain my heart/sexuality in Christ.

Okay, so if dating is a perversion of Gods intended way, what is Gods intended way? I believe it is courtship. Courtship, unlike dating, has been used since the beginning of time with little variation. The idea of courtship is centered around Proverbs 18:22 which says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord.” In the original Hebrew language this scripture depicts a vivid scene. It alludes to a man who is walking toward a specific destination and, along the way, sees a quarter on the side of the road. He picks up the quarter and continues on toward his destination.

Ladies... be that quarter. Men, when you are walking down the road... don't aimlessly look around at everything around you. Sometimes it's good to look on the road... you may find something beautiful.

 

[TheWidowsOffering]

What I would say to you all is this. My definition of the word feminine is this: Inviting. If you are attracted to a single man that is God-fearing and loves Jesus above all else: be inviting.

awwww.. how is that? hehehe

Just like these bro? :wink:lol...hehehe
I can't imagine...

Just todays, i am just trying to be friendly and building up myself going freely along with the opposite sex. This is not to find a mate though, but to be able to minister when the need arise.

i just remembered one Sunday morning, a man walk in the church early to attend the Worship Service and nobody is around yet except me. Because of gender gap, i was not able to approach him and say "hello", or "good morning" or just a fine "welcome". Very bad.. No one entertained him in some few time before the Worship Service
began. Oh, what an unfriendly environment.. hehe

What I would say to you all is this. My definition of the word feminine is this: Inviting. If you are attracted to a single man that is God-fearing and loves Jesus above all else: be inviting.

If that's the case, to be inviting? i think i have a big problem here.. hehehe


Praise the Lord..


God bless you Bro. Turbo

 

[Property Of God]

I don't want to sound sad or dramatic but I've had the worst relationships you could ever imagine, but I decided on one thing and prayed about it over and over, I decided to give up my heart to God, I want God to keep my heart, inside His heart, and protect it and mend it, and whenever He finds another heart, inside His heart, that is right for me, He could break a little piece of my heart and give it to that man, but I want God to keep the bigger portion of my heart always inside His heart.

It is kind of complicated but it is so clear inside my mind, ever since I prayed on that, I'm not lonely or even hurt of anything in the past, I'm so happy and very content with the life Jesus granted me.

 

[Angel's Love]

To be honest, my ex was about 300 lbs and about 5'8, so you can imagine she was well.....Beautiful in her own way. And I didnt care what she looked like at first, she came off as being so kind hearted and a great listener. Then came the abuse. All of a sudden she looked horrible all of the time. I couldnt stand being around her and couldnt help but to look at other women, as if I were crying out help me. lol Personality has a lot to do with it. The Girl I am seeing right now isnt exaclty a size 0 waist, I think about probably 150-160 and about 5-9 or so. But she has the most wonderful smile and always brightens my day. This is the number 1 thing I am looking for in a girl. Now looks matter to a degree, but only because I am high matinence with mine. But with a little prayer I think God will provide.

 

[Jermie]

I Just was about to post a message in this forum saying i need a female company and this Thread caught my eyes lol, i think this a real thought provoking thread and now it got me thinking.. Thanks for the read and God bless..