@Brother-Paul -- your willingness to share that is appreciated. And I'm also sorry that you had to endure all of that as a teen. Being a teenager can be very confusing as the hormones are being activated and then to have That happen. I'm thinking that a vicar is part of the RCC. And it appears that the RCC church requiring celebacy is a big mistake. It's not Scriptural. And it leads to lots of activity that is dangerous to young children and teens. And I did just look it up. And a vicar is in a position of lots of authority in RCC.
Children are taught to respect those in authority -- adults have been known to take serious advantage of that. And church officials are to be respected and obeyed and supposedly never wrong. So if a 'godly' man is doing something or saying something it Must be right and true and not be questioned. But kids Do have an inner sense of when something Isn't right. Lots of inner conflict. And when there doesn't seem to Be an adult who can be trusted to share important things With -- well -- what's a child or teen supposed to do. It gets bottled up inside.
But Another thing I've discovered with counseling -- it's Much better for a guy to talk with another guy and a woman with another woman. I was in counseling for two years with a man. The only person available at the time. And That ended up causing Other kinds of problems. Attachment issues.
I can understand your wife's concerns about your talking with another woman and not to Her. My husband was somewhat the same way. But the goal with My situation was to get my husband into counseling along With me. My husband would drive me to the sessions and wait outside -- on the way home, he was hoping that I would share what had been talked about. Well -- I was deep in thought and really didn't Want to. The male counselor would come out to the front and talk briefly with Doug while I went to the Ladies' Room and then again briefly After the session. He was Hoping to make a positive connection With Doug so that he'd be willing to be in the counseling, too. But Doug let me know that he was Not interested in counseling for himself. He had issues with PTSD. He'd been a veteran and talked with Their psychiatrists. he didn't like Them, Either. My husband had a hard time really opening up to Anyone very much on a serious level for very long.
After a while, my counseling time changed to an earlier time so that I could drive myself -- Doug stayed home after that.
And sometimes 'attachment issues' don't entirely go away , either.
'newname' feels that demons actually enter a person to cause some of this stuff. I'm thinking that what we are really 'seeing' is the affects of eating of the tree of the knowledge of both good and evil. We don't like to think that real people are capable of doing some of the evil things they do. A person's mind can become Very corrupt and that can come out through their actions.
Scripture tells us to guard our hearts and minds.