I'm not a mom, but I used to get beat a lot as a kid, so maybe I could give you some insight that the others haven't.
I struggle with anger, a lot of it. I love my mom to death, but I still feel bitterness whenever I think back to those days. Sometimes I would get hit for things I didn't do, but she thought I did. She denies it, probably forgot, but I haven't, and I know that I probably never will. I remember how I would cry my eyes out, begging her not to hurt me, as she averted her eyes from mine and calmly told me to bend over. I remember how confused I was when she told me classic line "this hurts me more than it hurts you". Yeah, that's why she doesn't remember half of the times she beat me, but I do.
It hurts all the more as my mom had more kids, and I see my siblings get away with things that I would've been beaten for without hesitation. It hurts me to my core hearing my mom of all people saying that she shouldn't hurt her kids, how she wants her kids to grow up to be able to stand up for themselves against adults, which was the very thing that I used to be beaten for when I was younger. I cry myself to sleep thinking how my mom literally beat the backbone out of me, and how, even now as an adult, I have to remind myself that I am my own person who doesn't have to take flak from adults, and I have to remind myself that hitting isn't an acceptable, even if I instinctually want to hit first and ask questions later whenever I'm angry or when someone pisses me off.
Even now, I can't talk to my mom normally about things that bother me because I used to get beat if I complained. From an early age she instilled in me the idea that I can never talk to her like a person. I mean, who was I to tell her if I was hurting, or if I didn't like something? I was the child and she was the adult, and adults are always right, even when they're wrong.
I'm telling you know, if you beat your kid, your kid will never forget it. Your kid will never be able to talk to you about anything, and they'll carry that pain with them for the rest of their lives. Even if you beg for their forgiveness, no amount of 'sorry's" or "I was wrong" will ever erase the pain inflicted to them by someone that was supposed to love and care for them the most.
If you don't want your kid playing video games, then please, for Godssakes, talk to them. And I mean actually talk to them, not like you're superior to them and they know nothing. Kids will know when you're talking down to them. I knew when my parents were talking down to me, and it doesn't feel good. Talk to them like how you would want someone to talk to you, because whether your kid is 8 or 18, no one likes to be talked down to. Explain how you feel about these games. Explain to them why you think those games are wrong, and lay down the ground rules: "If I catch you with these games, I'm going to confiscate them". Remind them that this is your house, and that, in anywhere really, there are rules that you need to follow, and if you don't follow them, that there are consequences. Maybe if you treat them like a person and stop beating them like an animal, they'll show more respect for you. I mean, how would you feel if someone started to beat you every time you stepped out of line? You wouldn't like it, so what makes you think that your kid does? And do you really want to strain your relationship with your kid over video games? It obviously doesn't work, so why don't you try treating them like a person? They're a person too. We are people too. And we don't like to get hit. No one does. Please, and this is to everyone who thinks that this is an acceptable form of punishment, and I tell you this as I type with tears in my eyes:
Don't hit your kids.
