Is it ok to french kiss someone’s spouse

[benfaust]

I might have misunderstood the original intent of the person who started this thread, but "soul mate" aside, it's true that most single people who form intimate romantic relationships will not marry that person. Both they and the person with whom they are stirring up those feelings, with with whom they are doing things intended for marriage, will marry someone else. That means they are "french kissing" someone else's future spouse, for the simple fact that they will indeed marry someone else.

"In the beginning, God made them male and female. For THIS reason, a man shall leave his mother and father and shall be joined to his wife..." (Mark 10:7) Male and female are (outside of corruption) attracted to the opposite sex. For this reason, because of that natural attraction, two people are joined as husband and wife. Today, we try to justify stirring up those attractions as much as we can without "going all the way." This is against Scripture, which tells us to "flee temptation" (1 Corinthians 6:18; 1 Corinthians 10:14; 1 Timothy 6:11; 2 Timothy 2:22).

So until a Christian knows someone is their spouse, not someone else's (and the only way to know that for certain is after you say "I do" and are pronounced husband and wife), they are playing with fire and ignoring the command to flee that temptation, since they are "french kissing" someone to whom they aren't married.

We tend to look for how much we can get away with without technically "sinning." Shouldn't we instead look for how pure we can be? How "above reproach" we can choose to live? How much we can please God and live our lives according to what He had in mind when He gave us these attractions? Instead of placing ourselves in the lap of temptation because we have bought into the world's ideas of relationships instead of living completely pure and saving our intimacies for our spouse?

Many Christians agree that if they had not "french kissed" people in the past, they would have never fallen into sexual sin. It undeniably stirs up strong sexual feelings, and naturally leads to things that most Christians would agree should only be done behind closed doors between husband and wife.

Unless I'm mistaken, this thread was started as a thought-provoking strong encouragement to save yourself completely for the person you will some day marry. If I had done that in my past, I would have saved myself so much damage, and have been a virgin when I married the wonderful, Godly, "perfect" (in my eyes) woman who is now my wife. And I think most married people would have to agree. None of us can go back in time; we can only encourage those who haven't yet been as far down the wrong path to, instead of seeking instant gratification, view our intimate exchanges as sacred, and save them for the one who will be our one-and-only "'til death do us part."

 

[MsMree]

Benfaust; thank you for your post. Your points such as fleeing temptation and being above reproach are very applicable to this topic.

I agree that

None of us can go back in time; we can only encourage those who haven't yet been as far down the wrong path to, instead of seeking instant gratification, view our intimate exchanges as sacred, and save them for the one who will be our one-and-only "'til death do us part."

I didn't find the presentation of the original post to be encouraging in it's wording. I too, wasn't virginal in thought or deed when I married my husband.

The rest of my post is not directed at you specifically.

I was aware that when I posted my first reply that it was off topic slightly to the original post but my primary purpose was nothing to do with chastity, and more to do with the concept of soul mate which I think is a bit of a Hollywood invention and not useful to Christian singles looking to the future and choosing a spouse.

Chastity is something that needs to be addressed in it's whole and entirety. Attitudes of modesty, brotherly and sisterly love, purity, nourishing relationship with God; all play into the plan to reserve yourself wholly for whoever you will one day marry.

To approach the topic of chastity like it is a simple "just don't kiss them or think about them lustfully until after you are married" not only vastly oversimplifies the issue but also renders many people powerless against the real things which will cause them to stumble in courtship.

I would really love to see approaches to chastity that encompass all the weak points in a person's armour that leave them vulnerable to lust and sexual sin. I am sure that it would be far more effective in edifying and encouraging the body of Christ than "is it okay to french kiss someone's spouse?" i.e. "just make yourself feel guilty about thinking of french kissing the person someone else will marry and use this to motivate you to avoid sin".

Most of the methods I see people using to encourage people in chastity wouldn't have helped me at all, so I'm more interested in discussing and developing useful tool for singles rather than empty rhetoric.

 

[Boanerges]

Is it ok to french kiss someone else's spouse ?

What kind of question is this? I find myself wondering if it is serious or just put up to see what kind on reaction it will get. One thing is for sure, french kisses imply passion and sexuality so I do not think this is the holy Kiss referred to by the great Apostle and /or by Peter.

1Co_16:20 All the brethren greet you. Greet ye one another with an holy kiss.
2Co_13:12 Greet one another with an holy kiss.
1Th_5:26 Greet all the brethren with an holy kiss.
1Pe_5:14 Greet ye one another with a kiss of charity. Peace be with you all that are in Christ Jesus. Amen.

 

[bychristalone]

"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. Matthew 5:13

same like we are salt and our taste is just for our husband and wife.its our gift for his/her that we have to save.if we touch some one even kiss and so on we will lose our taste.and we should thrown out from the kingdom of God.because we are all his wifes.our groom is jesus christ so we must save our taste for him.then we will be happy and loveable to our spirtul groom jesus christ. may God bless us to save our saltness

So... David is not in heaven? In your humble opinion?

Yes, I do believe he was wrong in his adultery and yes I believe kissing anyone other that your own spouse is sin. But Jesus died for sinners, not the righteous, and He in the end will save us from all of our sins. David, at the end of life, had the most beautiful woman in the kingdom lie in his bed to keep him warm and the Holy Spirit through the word of God tells us David did not sin with her. He makes our weaknesses our strength.

 

[MsMree]

David, at the end of life, had the most beautiful woman in the kingdom lie in his bed to keep him warm and the Holy Spirit through the word of God tells us David did not sin with her. He makes our weaknesses our strength.

Er? Verse please?

 

[Boanerges]

So... David is not in heaven? In your humble opinion?

Yes, I do believe he was wrong in his adultery and yes I believe kissing anyone other that your own spouse is sin. But Jesus died for sinners, not the righteous, and He in the end will save us from all of our sins. David, at the end of life, had the most beautiful woman in the kingdom lie in his bed to keep him warm and the Holy Spirit through the word of God tells us David did not sin with her. He makes our weaknesses our strength.

David lay dying, I doubt he was feeling very frisky so perhaps that is a moot point.

 

[bychristalone]

1 Kings 1:1-4
　
Now King David was old, advanced in years; and they put covers on him, but he could not get warm. Therefore his servants said to him, “Let a young woman, a virgin, be sought for our lord the king, and let her stand before the king, and let her care for him; and let her lie in your bosom, that our lord the king may be warm.” So they sought for a lovely young woman throughout all the territory of Israel, and found Abishag the Shunammite, and brought her to the king. The young woman was very lovely; and she cared for the king, and served him; but the king did not know her.

It is not a moot point, the text makes it clear.

 

[farout]

Anyone even thinking of such a thing is one sick person. If any man even suggested such a thing to my wife he woul ware out the bottom of his pants sliding out the door. :secret:

 

[Boanerges]

1 Kings 1:1-4
　
Now King David was old, advanced in years; and they put covers on him, but he could not get warm. Therefore his servants said to him, “Let a young woman, a virgin, be sought for our lord the king, and let her stand before the king, and let her care for him; and let her lie in your bosom, that our lord the king may be warm.” So they sought for a lovely young woman throughout all the territory of Israel, and found Abishag the Shunammite, and brought her to the king. The young woman was very lovely; and she cared for the king, and served him; but the king did not know her.

It is not a moot point, the text makes it clear.

David lay dying. The rest of this chapter describes the efforts to pick his replacement as King.

 

[Boanerges]

Anyone even thinking of such a thing is one sick person. If any man even suggested such a thing to my wife he woul ware out the bottom of his pants sliding out the door. :secret:

You hit the nail on the head my friend!

 

[HisSummerRose]

I only share those kisses with my hubby !!!

 

[HisSummerRose]

thank you benfaust ... I have been with him for 34 years !!!

 

[Acebopata]

It is perfectly ok for you to french-kiss your spouse. But french-kissing someone-else's spouse is nothing less than covetousness and lust for that spouse.

 

[Michelle71]

I don't think the poster was asking the question you guys are assuming. Of course it is not ok to be that intimate with another other than your own spouse if you are married already, or if there is a commitment. As in
dating for awhile.

Question is, is it ok for those who are dating, or single when that person may at a future time be married to another. How far is too far. That is the real question right?

Where does grace come into this though. How many of us still look back fondly on that first kiss. Especially if it was with someone who you had bonded and had a time of commitment to. If we remember those years
from 13 to marriage are the most difficult, and ones of high testosterone in guys. So then, are we to condemn ourselves for past mistakes and count probably 90% of faithful saints to having committed adultery by
something as silly as this?

Strange logic.

 

[JehovahDaughter]

I voted No, it's not ok under any circumstances to French kiss anyone who is not your husband(if you're a woman) or your wife(if you're a man). As for kissing on the lips, I don't think there's anything wrong with that because I kiss both my parents on their lips(pecks, nothing more) and it's not some kind of sick and disturbing act of fornication or adultery, I believe it's just a simple act of showing affection(non-sexually).

Furthermore if I was married, I do not expect and would not tolerate my husband's tongue to be in another woman's mouth(*I apologise if graphic description offends anyone*). I would consider that adultery because that is an intimate act that should be between only husband and wife. As for boyfriend and girlfriend, I think a lot of Christians might say that French kissing is a "no no"; however I think that simple pecks on the lips although might not be 'wrong', open up doors for a lot of other wrong doings to come to fruition. Thus between Christian boyfriend and girlfriend, intimate acts such as any form of kissing should be avoided and if possible, don't have a boyfriend(if you're a girl) or girlfriend(if you're a boy), until you're really ready to get married.

In addition, I don't think a person should condemn themselves because of past escapades with ex-boy/girlfriends; Christ died to wash away all our sins. When a person realises that what they have done in past relationships can be considered unfaithfulness in their present or future marital life, they can then repent from their past, as well as take precautions so that they do not repeat past mistakes(hence the reason why I said, if possible, no boyfriend/girlfriend relationships until a person is ready to marry). These are my thoughts.

 

[tafadzwa]

Falls off chair...:shock:
Can you repeat that.

These forums can be quite funny... even though some of these posts were 4 years ago... Keep the Humor & Truth going...

 

[kamiller1972]

Great boogley woogley! NOOOO! It is not ok...not even a little:suspicious:!!!

 

[Michelle71]

Software Engineer A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said: "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess". He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said: "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out: "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do anything you want". Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked: "What is the matter ? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me ?"
The man said, "Look I'm a software engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."

 

[1 holy 1]

Absolutely not.

 

[manage1121]

I think I understand what ur asking Riz. Obvious answer is NO to kissing someone else's spouse. Ur saying if we go around kissing everyone we date... thats exactly what we are doing?

My honest opinion is.. .. french kissing opens a flood gate =-) If you can with hold from caving into sex, you will now fantasize about that and what should consume our minds??.. .. God