I became a Christian about 18 months ago. I moved in with my partner 5 1/2 years ago. He is not a christian. He wont marry me. - But we do love each other. He has brought up my two children from a previous relationship. We have been having a 'physical relationship' - what should I do? He wont live without a 'physical relationship', and I think it would be very cruel to take my children and myself away from him.
Living in sin
- Thread starter Suzanne
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I can relate to this. I moved in with my boyfriend 6 years ago, and just recently started going to church again. Now I'm worried that he may never marry me! Every time I bring it up he says soon. We'll get engaged soon. But I wait and wait and he doesn't ask me to marry him. I love him dearly, I can't imagine a life without him.
shipwrecksoul
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My heart goes out to you two just as I bet the Lords heart goes out to you both as well! Jesus knows whats down the road for the men who are in your lives.
Ophel
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I can't see how obeying God is cruel to anyone. The benefits of living a godly life outweigh any pain that comes from separating from someone out of obedience to Jesus Christ. He gives the strength, peace and comfort to walk through it, and sends blessing and favour besides!
Step out of the boat. Take Jesus at His Word and be blessed--both you and your household!
Step out of the boat. Take Jesus at His Word and be blessed--both you and your household!
Cherubpuff
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I really didn't want to post in this thread but felt compelled to when you refer to the 'physical relationship' you guys are having. I'm assuming that by physical you mean 'sexual'.
If thats the case, then I'll bet my bottom dollar that God is not pleased with your relationship, regardless of what this guy has and is doing for you and your kids.
I'm not good with bible verses but I will tell you from revelation of He Himself:
My closest friend lost his sister from a sudden and misdiagnosed illness.
She was living with her boyfriend, had a child and was unmarried.
God showed him her when he was wide awake: no symbolic dream, no confusing feelings or hallucination, but a divine image of her- I'd prefer to not go into detail as to what was shown to him...She's now Hades and lost eternally.
Like I said before, I didn't want to say it but its the truth.
I have to wonder how many people are going to lose out on eternal life because of ungodly relationships...Is he really worth it?? He wont follow Christ?? Whats he so attached to in this world that he rejects Christ?
I suggest you leave the guy and ask for forgiveness.
If thats the case, then I'll bet my bottom dollar that God is not pleased with your relationship, regardless of what this guy has and is doing for you and your kids.
I'm not good with bible verses but I will tell you from revelation of He Himself:
My closest friend lost his sister from a sudden and misdiagnosed illness.
She was living with her boyfriend, had a child and was unmarried.
God showed him her when he was wide awake: no symbolic dream, no confusing feelings or hallucination, but a divine image of her- I'd prefer to not go into detail as to what was shown to him...She's now Hades and lost eternally.
Like I said before, I didn't want to say it but its the truth.
I have to wonder how many people are going to lose out on eternal life because of ungodly relationships...Is he really worth it?? He wont follow Christ?? Whats he so attached to in this world that he rejects Christ?
I suggest you leave the guy and ask for forgiveness.
HoneyBare
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Hmmmmm, I don't totally agree with the attitude of this last reply, but I do think that your leaving him might bring him to his knees.
I know someone who is in a similar situation except it has been 35 years they lived together, with two grown children. The wife became a Christian late in life, so it is beyond being cruel to leave at this point. But, in obedience to God, perhaps that is what would be necessary to cause the other partner to see how important it is to God, who created marriage in the first place.
Remember, it's not about you, it's about Him. Your obedience to Him is eternally more important than fear of hurting your partner.
I am beginning to see the importance of doing the hard things when it comes to our happiness, which is what Father teaches us to do because He created us. If we dare to do the hard thing . . . the right thing . . . perhaps we will not be losing out. It was called discipline when we were children. We had to discipline ourselves even when we didn't want to, but it DID make us much happier with ourselves didn't it?
I'll pray for you, whatever decision you make. Bonnie
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What is your conscience telling you?
Not sure of your bf's attitude but a common saying here in North Carolina is "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free". Your giving him what he wants so don't expect him to do any different. The fact that he won't or can't relate to you without sex says quite a bit about him and his level of commitment towards you. If he stops relating to your children because you stop your sexual relationship then he was just using them to get to you.
Boanerges
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Just some thoughts:
If you do not put God first above all then nothing in your life will truly be blessed. Anything we place before Him amounts to an idol in our lives.
God is merciful but does not (ever) bless a willful, knowing lifestyle of sin.
Doing the right thing is often hard but I can tell from your post that you are already under conviction.
I will be praying for you.
Many blessings in His Name,
brother Larry.
If you do not put God first above all then nothing in your life will truly be blessed. Anything we place before Him amounts to an idol in our lives.
God is merciful but does not (ever) bless a willful, knowing lifestyle of sin.
Doing the right thing is often hard but I can tell from your post that you are already under conviction.
I will be praying for you.
Many blessings in His Name,
brother Larry.
It's always a struggle with out Jesus in our lives. My best friend has been with a girl for a long time now and hasn't really shown how Jesus really is to him, and because of that he has been struggling. I pray for him every night to ask him to turn to the cross first, and for her to as well. But we can't come to forgiveness if were not ready to change, and relationship wise it's really hard to invite Jesus into the relationship if the spouse persists to dwell in sin.
In a Biblical perspective
Proverbs 25:24
That pretty much tells it all, if you start with Jesus, you will always end with the best result, something you could not imagine happening, miracles can happen, and strong connections with the Holy Spirit grow if you continue to live only for God.
On the other hand its all a matter of choice, the Lord has laid out a plan for us, we either take the narrow path, or we don't. We are born with a sinful nature and i would conclude if you dont have a relationship with Jesus in your relationship you never know what can happen.
God bless, and my prayers are with you!
In a Biblical perspective
Proverbs 25:24
That pretty much tells it all, if you start with Jesus, you will always end with the best result, something you could not imagine happening, miracles can happen, and strong connections with the Holy Spirit grow if you continue to live only for God.
On the other hand its all a matter of choice, the Lord has laid out a plan for us, we either take the narrow path, or we don't. We are born with a sinful nature and i would conclude if you dont have a relationship with Jesus in your relationship you never know what can happen.
God bless, and my prayers are with you!
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i am not saying this to hurt you or upset you, but you can not continue to live in sin & believe you will get to heaven.
(1 Cort 5:19) n.t. I wrote you in a epistle(letter) not to company with fornicators.
(1Corh.6:18-20) FLEE FORNICATION. for every sin that a man does is without the body,but he that commits fornication sins against his own body. what know you not that your BODY is the temple of the HOLY GHOST(SPIRIT) which is of GOD (holy spirit you recieve from GOD when you repent & TURN from your sins of your past to live in GODS ways).
rev. 21:8 on who will not enter heaven.... idolaters,liars,unbelievers, murders.....
also read (JUDE 1:7) ROMANS :29-31.
FORNICATION...... sexual intercourse between PARTNERS not married..
you are to be an example to your children for in what you say & do will impact their lives... GOD is the only way you will enter heaven ... your boyfriend / family / friends can't..... i hope you study the bible in seach of the truth for your self ... may god help & see you through this period of your life
CHERBPUFF we neither go to heaven nor hell until the judgement day of GOD.. we sleep until that day
(1 Cort 5:19) n.t. I wrote you in a epistle(letter) not to company with fornicators.
(1Corh.6:18-20) FLEE FORNICATION. for every sin that a man does is without the body,but he that commits fornication sins against his own body. what know you not that your BODY is the temple of the HOLY GHOST(SPIRIT) which is of GOD (holy spirit you recieve from GOD when you repent & TURN from your sins of your past to live in GODS ways).
rev. 21:8 on who will not enter heaven.... idolaters,liars,unbelievers, murders.....
also read (JUDE 1:7) ROMANS :29-31.
FORNICATION...... sexual intercourse between PARTNERS not married..
you are to be an example to your children for in what you say & do will impact their lives... GOD is the only way you will enter heaven ... your boyfriend / family / friends can't..... i hope you study the bible in seach of the truth for your self ... may god help & see you through this period of your life
CHERBPUFF we neither go to heaven nor hell until the judgement day of GOD.. we sleep until that day
Ladies, I don't think you have any reason to fear eternal punishment 
God loves you no matter what decisions you make.
Indeed, you may be letting your men have the milk without purchasing the cow. I don't know the caliber of the men you're with. Biblical marriage was consummated through sex -- with no piece of paper issued from a provincial/state/national government, so arguably by engaging in a sexual relationship you are already married.
If your partner is not a Christian but is a moral man -- fear not, you and your children should be safe and happy.
However, if your partner is an immoral man then you and your children may not be safe.
Let your heart and God guide you. Pray on it, and talk openly and honestly with your partner.
And don't ever let anyone tell you you'll go to Hell for making a mistake -- God is more forgiving of his children than that. As a parent, you should know that too.
God loves you no matter what decisions you make.Indeed, you may be letting your men have the milk without purchasing the cow. I don't know the caliber of the men you're with. Biblical marriage was consummated through sex -- with no piece of paper issued from a provincial/state/national government, so arguably by engaging in a sexual relationship you are already married.
If your partner is not a Christian but is a moral man -- fear not, you and your children should be safe and happy.
However, if your partner is an immoral man then you and your children may not be safe.
Let your heart and God guide you. Pray on it, and talk openly and honestly with your partner.
And don't ever let anyone tell you you'll go to Hell for making a mistake -- God is more forgiving of his children than that. As a parent, you should know that too.
COLE: why are you telling these girls that living in sin is ok & your beliefs are not of the AMISH people .....
AMISH people have ethic traditional codes that REJECT sex outside of marraige, divorce, homosexuality, public nudity as sins..........
they keep separate from the modern wordly society(ROMANS12:2).....
marry amoung their community... they are pacifist...they avoid ALL violence...they govern themselves...the whole community shares ... baptised members morally committ to church rules... to err / sin members may be shunned until they REPENT.... girls this COLE is decieving you... with false hoods(lies)
AMISH people have ethic traditional codes that REJECT sex outside of marraige, divorce, homosexuality, public nudity as sins..........
they keep separate from the modern wordly society(ROMANS12:2).....
marry amoung their community... they are pacifist...they avoid ALL violence...they govern themselves...the whole community shares ... baptised members morally committ to church rules... to err / sin members may be shunned until they REPENT.... girls this COLE is decieving you... with false hoods(lies)
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SpiritLedEd
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Ladies, I don't think you have any reason to fear eternal punishment
God is perfect. Sin is imperfection. God cannot mix with sin in the same way that oil cannot mix with water. Sin separates us from God and without our repentance, that separation stays intact.
What you are doing here is simply legitimizing lust by suggesting that the partners can diiscover whether or not it is wrong by praying about it and discussing it. This belief is heresy.
We Christians believe that when we sincerely ask Jesus into our hearts (see Ro 10:9-10) as Lord and Savior in a public confession we become united with Him in spirit as His bride. We show our fidelity to our bridegroom Jesus in consumating earthly marriage in a public ceremony and remaining faithful to the one and only earthly spouse He gives us (see 1 Cor 6:12-20).
Spirit Led Ed (SLE)
You may be misinformed a little bit there Delores concerning the Amish. Have you ever heard of the Amish term rumspringa? You may want to do some more research before you go and misjudge someone else in the future.:wink:
I am not condoning Cole's post or his instruction but neither do I condone your post and behavior.
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jiggyfly
you are correct about rumspringa. it means running away. when the child reaches 16 they are allowed to taste the outside world with no restriction on partying,drinking, and every thing else the everyday world does. they are free to explore all avenues at this time for about 2 years then they decide on whether to be baptized & live by amish rules or leave the amish way of life. 85-90 % choose the amish life & return to it. so i thank you for pointing this out to me.
but living with a person & having sex outside marriage is still a sin in GODS eyes & that is all that counts.
you are correct about rumspringa. it means running away. when the child reaches 16 they are allowed to taste the outside world with no restriction on partying,drinking, and every thing else the everyday world does. they are free to explore all avenues at this time for about 2 years then they decide on whether to be baptized & live by amish rules or leave the amish way of life. 85-90 % choose the amish life & return to it. so i thank you for pointing this out to me.
but living with a person & having sex outside marriage is still a sin in GODS eyes & that is all that counts.
delores: I never said my beliefs were of the Amish (nor am I an Amish scholar) -- the quote is my signature and I think a lot of people in this world could do worse than to follow that idea.
I hope these ladies find peace and fulfillment. I'm going to respond to Ed in a PM because I don't want to derail this thread, but he's brought up an interesting point.
I hope these ladies find peace and fulfillment. I'm going to respond to Ed in a PM because I don't want to derail this thread, but he's brought up an interesting point.
cole
my concern was over your reply & really had to do with your advice to them. if it sounded the way you replied i am sorry for that misunderstanding on the amish thing.
the young lady is trying to do the right thing & this living arrangement must really be bothering her heart or she would not be seeking help on it.she needs to know GOD hates fornication. GOD hates all sin. to tell her if her friend is moral she well be ok it's not what the bible says. what seems to be moral to you is seen thru the eyes of the world, not from GODS. i don't know your feelings on GOD or the bible but i think you are fooling yourself with illusions that fornacation is ok. we get caught in the world & live as the world lives. sinners see nothing wrong with having sex outside of marriage. its all over the place any more. GOD leads those who trust him, because he does love his children but he does not love every one.
my concern was over your reply & really had to do with your advice to them. if it sounded the way you replied i am sorry for that misunderstanding on the amish thing.
the young lady is trying to do the right thing & this living arrangement must really be bothering her heart or she would not be seeking help on it.she needs to know GOD hates fornication. GOD hates all sin. to tell her if her friend is moral she well be ok it's not what the bible says. what seems to be moral to you is seen thru the eyes of the world, not from GODS. i don't know your feelings on GOD or the bible but i think you are fooling yourself with illusions that fornacation is ok. we get caught in the world & live as the world lives. sinners see nothing wrong with having sex outside of marriage. its all over the place any more. GOD leads those who trust him, because he does love his children but he does not love every one.
My religious upbringing included a God who loves all his children (just as a father will love his children despite negative things they may do, or the strains they cause him emotionally). So that's just us being people and seeing things differently (and experiencing the divine in our own interpretation).
I do not advocate promiscuity at all, I advocate responsibility and love. From an historical perspective (going back to biblical times here), as I stated above, marriage certificates were not given by government authority but rather either as arranged marriages through parents/elders or through the more modern I-meet-you way. Marriage was consecrated and completed through consummation. My point is that, in one view, if her and her mate are in love, but not given a wedding certificate from the state of Florida, then they are still married.
I think there's a moral difference between "sex out of wedlock" and "fornication." But that's semantics at work.
As I told Ed, the safety of these ladies and their children is the utmost concern for me, which leads into the moral quality of the men they are with. I do not see the harm in praying on their situation and discussing their concerns with their mates -- it's the responsible, adult thing to do in my opinion.
I hope this post helps you to see where I'm coming from.
I do not advocate promiscuity at all, I advocate responsibility and love. From an historical perspective (going back to biblical times here), as I stated above, marriage certificates were not given by government authority but rather either as arranged marriages through parents/elders or through the more modern I-meet-you way. Marriage was consecrated and completed through consummation. My point is that, in one view, if her and her mate are in love, but not given a wedding certificate from the state of Florida, then they are still married.
I think there's a moral difference between "sex out of wedlock" and "fornication." But that's semantics at work.
As I told Ed, the safety of these ladies and their children is the utmost concern for me, which leads into the moral quality of the men they are with. I do not see the harm in praying on their situation and discussing their concerns with their mates -- it's the responsible, adult thing to do in my opinion.
I hope this post helps you to see where I'm coming from.
Are you sure God does not love everyone? What do you base this on, scripture, history or personal experience? Just curious because I have a different opinion of Father.
